Ever see those colored light bulbs in the store labeled “Party Lights”? I must have been invited to the wrong parties all these years. I have never been to a party with party lights. Please, if you’ve been to (or thrown) one of these zany-lighting parties… tell me what it’s like!
I’d like to be invited to a party with pink or blue or green light bulbs. Sure, I’ve seen the yellow ones in action keeping bugs off of a porch, and red ones in a dark room… and black lights(& the cheap black lights that don’t make stuff glow very well), but I’ve never seen party lights used for a party. I’ve eveseen Christmas lights strung up for a party. That can’t compare to the whimsical hilarity of putting in a green light bulb!
The other day I posted a Facebook status, and wanted to expand upon it here. This is what I said:
I get that digital & cloud media are the next step. I get that ALMOST everything is available for streaming as part of a service. Anyone else weirded out by it? Some stuff… obscure or whatever just isn’t available for streaming. What happens when the companies close or the cloud’s redundant services fail? What happens if someone buys the rights to streaming movies, just to keep them from the public? What if censorship goes out of control and some committee decided certain movies are no longer available? Will they all be lost forever because no one will have physical copies? Don’t say it can’t happen… it has in the past with books.
I like the idea of Digital movies & TV shows… I love having Netflix‘s library available in an instant. I love being able to watch a movie from Netflix or rent a digital movie from Amazon through the Blu-ray player.
I like the idea of Pandora or Google Play where there’s streaming music there in an instant. Pandora just disappoints because of the variety of music I listen to… a lot of smaller bands that I really dig just have a minimal or even no presence there. Google Play at least lets you upload your own mp3′s in addition to purchasing new ones. Amazon holds your stuff in the cloud too. I just wish all the music that I wanted was all in one place.
I have had an older external hard drive crash. It’s not good. I still need to get it fixed without breaking the bank. Anything physical can be destroyed… CD’s & Records can melt or scratch, and not too many people have 8-Trak or even cassette players any more.
My original question is as much about content control & ownership as much as anything else. Say you purchase a ton of music that’s in the cloud… and that company shuts down. How do you hold on to that music? Were you just renting it? What happens if the parent company gets into a disagreement with the management of your favorite band and their catalog is removed from your clous storage?
“…a time when people cared about who’s ass it was, and why it was farting!”
What if you bought the movie Idiocracy and it becomes so true to life that it’s banned? Don’t sit back comfortably and think it can’t happen. Books are banned all the time by different groups. No one comes & takes all of your books… yet. What if the banned book could be deleted from your Kindle or Nook? All In The Family would never fly on TV now, but what if it was no longer available because of its abrasive humor?
I just feel uneasy about it.
That being said, I absolutely hate cash money. I hardly ever have it on me. I like swiping my card for everything. If I could use it in parking meters and pop machines, I would. There’s a swing back towards cash though, as credit card company fees are crushing small businesses, especially if you’re making a purchase with a low dollar amount. Is it odd that I have no problem with my money being intangible, but when I use to to purchase an album or a movie… I need that to be tangible?
I’d like to get a good discussion going in the comments.
The other day I plugged my crappy old Insignia Pilot into the truck stereo’s auxiliary input, & I started playing the songs on my trusty & hardly ever updated mp3 player in order by song title. I have no idea why I decided to take it off of “random”, but I did. (Sadly, my 500 GB hard drive has stopped working and unless it’s fixed I’ll lose a TON of music, so whatever this Best Buy generic brand mp3 player holds may be it for my collection for a while!)
I thought that “song titles that start with numbers” would be a pretty cool playlist. I’d thought I’d share some of my favorites.
From: Chick-fil-A CARES <chickfilacares@na.ko.com>
Date: Wed, Dec 26, 2012 at 8:09 PM
Subject: Chick-fil-A Response
To: <me@my.email.address>
Dear Valued Customer:
Thank you for taking the time to contact Chick-fil-A. You are very important to us, and we appreciate your suggestion regarding the cup holders. We hope the following information will be helpful.
Chick-fil-A is fortunate to have many loyal customers. Many of these fans take the time and effort to inquire about sharing their own ideas about ways they wish to see us improve – whether it is adding a specific new product, service or feature. We are grateful for our customers’ intent, and this motivates us to work even harder to keep improving.
Unfortunately, it is our corporate policy not to accept or consider any unsolicited creative ideas. This is a difficult decision because we realize that by following this policy, Chick-fil-A may miss out on some great ideas from our customers. We would rather miss out on some of these ideas than to risk any potential future misunderstanding should Chick-fil-A develop or already have developed a product, service, or feature that may seem similar to a customer’s idea.
We hope you will understand the reasons for our policy. You can view our Unsolicited Ideas Policy at www.chick-fil-a.com/Legal (under Submissions) for more information on this issue. Beyond this policy, we gladly welcome customers’ feedback about their restaurant experiences.
We appreciate your family’s loyalty, and we look forward to serving you all at Chick-fil-A for many years to come. Again, thank you for your time and interest in Chick-fil-A.
From: <me@my.email.address>
Date: Thu, Dec 27, 2012 at 4:56 PM
Subject: Re: Chick-fil-A Response
To: Chick-fil-A CARES <chickfilacares@na.ko.com>
Hello Cheala,
Any idea how I can get my idea solicited? I’m honestly not interested in monetary compensation, I just don’t want to spill my drinks. Has anyone run this by Mr. Cathy? He’s responded to my emails before, and I understand that he’s a shrewd business man as well as a great family man. I’m sure he wouldn’t want drinks spilling on anyone… and that he’d like to pick up a free idea.
Thanks once again for your time & help!
My pleasure,
-Eric
Wonder if I’ll get a reply? I just want a good cup holder.
I need a new keyring. I haven’t ever been able to find one that meets my needs. Perhaps my expectations are too high. Perhaps there is no such thing as the perfect keyring. Perhaps I need to spend more money on one. Why is it so difficult? Does anyone else have a keyring problem?
I guess I should explain myself.
I have a lot of keys. I like to keep them all in one place. I want a keyring where I can break-off my car keys & my wife’s car keys quickly & easily. I recently bought a keyring that has a bunch of little carabiner-looking S-clips on it. Let me show you:
Ridiculous Key Ring
Besides the fact that I have entirely too many keys, this keyring set up is juts not working out. I want something that makes the vehicle keys quickly & easily removable. I don’t want them to fall off on their own. Arrow A shows one of the broken little S-clips that snags my pocket constantly. These have also broken themselves free inside my pocket… or on the way out of my pocket. I’ve dropped my house key on more than one occasion with this setup. Then again, arrow B points to a traditional keyring provided by the dealer… which has also come loose in my pocket. I spent about 20 minutes looking for my keyless entry remote the other day after it loosened itself & ended up on the floor of my truck.
Apparently, when you pull keys out of your pocket, they help turn any loosened items into projectiles. It’s just a matter if time until this happens over a storm drain or sewer grate.
There is the old-fashioned normal keyring, but I always seem to be able to only find weak ones… or ones that make it nearly impossible to just give the guys at the oil change place your truck keys and not some crazy giant bundle of chaos that might scatter my keys all over the place.
I’ve also tried those quick-release keyrings, but they eventually fail too when the spring dies. Then there’s the “lucky line” kind, but it would throw some being easily removable out the window. I’m at a loss as to what exactly the next step should be.
Keyrings
What do you do? Do you have keyring problems? Am I alone on this key-dropping crap? Your advice would be welcomed.
I have an idea for you. I realize that as a giant corporation you probably don’t accept unsolicited ideas, but please don’t let that stop you from considering this idea. I don’t expect monetary payment, maybe just free Chick-fil-A for life? (Maybe a limit to once a week?) Well, I guess I should present my idea before we start talking payment or barter.
This past Saturday I went to the Chick-fil-A inSouth Hills to grab some of those ridiculously delicious Chick-n-Minis™ for breakfast. I went into the store to order take-out so I could grab some mayo packets, ketchup, straws, & napkins at the little condiment station. I got two drinks because I was taking breakfast home to share with the wife. I opted for your highly addictive sweet tea, and the wife had a Hi-C Fruit Punch. The always courteous employees offered me a drink carrier, and I accepted. I thought it would make life easier on the ride home. I saw wrong.
I set the drink carrier on the floor of the passenger’s side of my truck. As I backed out of the space, it fell over on to the long side. Your drink lids are thankfully quite tight, but sadly not entirely waterproof. I leaned over and placed the carrier & drinks upright again, this time turning the drink holder 90 degrees the other way thinking I had outsmarted the laws of physics and that it would stay put. I could not have been more mistaken. As I turned up a hill to go out the back of the parking lot, it fell again. I believe I uttered something using vocabulary that you may not approve. At the stop sign, I had to pick up the cups and give up by putting them in the truck’s drink holders.
As I drove home trying not to think about the drops of Hi-C & iced tea soaking into my floor mats, I wondered if there was a better way. I certainly like your drink carriers much better than the egg-crate 4 space things that just let cups lean over all willy-nilly. I came to think that your drink carriers just need feet. I thought the feet may take some extra cardboard, and wondered i something could be done with the existing design.
At home, my thoughts were fueled by poultry protein. I pulled out my pocket knife and started cutting as my wife looked at me like I was a crazy person (as she does quite often). I explained what I was doing and why and she actually also thought it was a good idea.
You already have some nice sturdy cardboard. Two well-placed quarter-circle cuts & maybe even a fold mark in the middle of the carrier would create some nice sturdy feet or “wings” or your drink carrier box without the need for a complete redesign or any additional material. I tested it by trying to rock the mostly empty drinks back & forth on the kitchen table. We had no spills. I am willing to try some field tests if you’d like to move forward with this idea. My truck’s floor mats can handle it. Perhaps I can even use water instead of red & brown sugary liquids.
I’m sure we could talk to your box people & find out if this is doable for a reasonable price. I think it will be as important & innovative as the new Heinz® Dip & Squeeze® packets! I have some photos attached that I’m sure you will agree are quite illustrative of my design ideas. Sadly, my pocket knife is a cheap dull one, so the cut looks more like a rip. I believe you’ll see my intent though.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts, and am excited at the opportunity that lays before us. It would be my pleasure to help make this dream a reality!
So, there we have it. I mean, most of my letters are plain goofy, and this has a goofy tone, but really… don’t you think this would work? Now, we wait for a response.
You know I hate public restrooms. This sign may be a wave of the future. Think it’s a good idea? Think it will work? Is it too easy to abuse?
Intimidating button…
I saw a full garbage can, & thought about pressing the button…but thought it may only be for emergencies not maintenance. I didn’t want to be the guy that whined about the garbage can being full. Then again, I’d rather empty a trash bag than pick it up off of the floor if I were an employee there.
Is a button the way to solve all of your bathroom problems? This reminded me of the pull-strings in hospital bathrooms. Ha ha. If you find one of these buttons, I dare you to push it & yell “I need someone to wipe!”
So if you’re looking for a Christmas, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa or Festivus gift… You may not want to go with these, unless you’re trying to give some kind of hint that you don’t like the recipient. I’ve heard them advertised on the radio lately, and they’re both just ridiculous.
Go nuts over Fresh Balls!
Fresh Balls- “So Fresh. So Dry.”| It is what it sounds like. Some kind of deodorant, lotion, or talc for application to your apparently sweaty coin purse. Maybe I’m not active or sweaty enough, but I’ve never considered this a real problem. They advertise buying it for someone as a gift. Who’s damp smelly package are you close to on a regular basis? I have some good friends, and I’ve thankfully never smelled their family jewels. If I ever do smell someone’s nether-regions, I’ll be sure to tell them about Fresh Balls.
Seats of Anarchy- “Custom toilet seats for hard asses.”| I love some good terrible wordplay, but the name is almost as atrocious as the idea. I’ve never watched Sons of Anarchy, but do they poop a lot? If they did, I could see the point to this then. If your man cave is your bathroom… maybe this would be appropriate? Someone better get their Copyright and/or Trademark lawyers on this pretty quickly. Nothing says badass like a camouflage toilet seat, or one with barbed wire. Guarantee that all your guests will hover! “Designer” toilet seats for manly men and bikers… It sounds like a crappy idea. Get it? Crappy? Toilet seat? Ugh.
So, what have you seen lately what would make a horrible holiday present? Anything as bad as (or worse than) these?
Didn’t I just email & tell you that? I think I did.
Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself again. Did you read all about the Evil Popcorn Popper? It wants you to tempt death by electric shock each time you feel like making a tasty air-popped snack. Others chimed in on Facebook with their tales of appliance treachery. In the comments, I formulated an email. I sent it. Here it is:
Hello Presto®!
I recently bought one of your popcorn poppers because we had one when I was a kid and air-popped popcorn is always better than that microwave stuff. We can agree there, right?
I have a few questions about your design choices.
First… The butter tray. Why doesn’t any butter that I put in it melt? I’ve tried actual butter and “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!®” both to no avail. Did you guys test this out in the factory? Does anyone there own one of these poppers? They’ve never pointed out this problem? I can certainly melt it in the microwave, but it’s amusing to me that the popper has a butter tray that clearly doesn’t work (even long after all the popcorn has popped). Yes, I have sat there stubbornly for a while waiting for the butter to melt for many minutes after the last dead kernel spits out of the popper. When I was a kid, our popper had a metal tray. I think it did a better job of conducting heat & melting the butter. I think it even fit an entire artery-clogging stick (as long as my parents or the babysitter weren’t looking). Do you guys have any poppers for sale that actually pop popcorn AND melt butter? I’d like to see one.
Is that guy a chef and an electrician? Is he certified to plug in live wires? Do you guys not see the spark(s) when you plug the thing in? Have you ever actually plugged one in? Do you feel that it’s dangerous? I almost want to plug it in to a mulch-outlet power strip with an on/off switch and use that to turn it on so I don’t accidentally put my thumb in between the prongs as I’m plugging it in.
I’m sure you can get them even cheaper if you buy in bulk… and I’m sure they’re not all that difficult to install.
Can you imagine if other electrical products didn’t have an on/off switch? Toasters? Curling irons? Hair dryers? (They almost all come with circuit breakers now!) Electric knives? Electric hedge trimmers or weed whackers?
You really don’t feel that it’s dangerous? Not so much as a warning label adorns the power cord? Do you use gloves to plug yours in? Why was the plugging done off camera in the video?
I really look forward to your thoughts on these issues. I might go make some popcorn while I wait. I’ll be sure to melt the butter in the microwave first, and I hope I’m not electrocuted when I plug the popper in so I can read your reply!
Inquisitively,
-Waldo
This was the reply:
From: Presto Customer Service <contact@gopresto.com>
Date: Thu, Nov 29, 2012 at 3:01 PM
Subject: RE: Where’s the switch?
To: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Good morning,
I’m sorry to hear of your dissatisfaction with your hot air popper. We have not received complaints of butter not melting in the butter melter. Please note that the instructions do indicate that soft/room temperature butter or margarine needs to be used, refrigerated butter will not melt during the short popping period. I do not recommend that you let the unit run after the corn has popped, as this could cause the unit to overheat.
Our hot air poppers are not designed with an on/off switch. I talked with our Quality Manager and he indicated that there are no plans to change the design to include a switch. The unit has been tested very thoroughly and meets all UL mandates. If you read and follow the instruction manual, you can feel assured that this appliance is safe to use.
Have a good day.
Colleen
NPI Customer Service
Shipments made to U.S. or Canada only
Well, that was unsatisfactory. Letting it run empty to melt butter is bad, but plugging in a live appliance is OK? I call shenanigans. Shenanigans because we keep butter in the ‘fridge, and shenanigans because plugging something in that sparks feels kind of dangerous.
I do find the sentence “I talked with our Quality Manager and he indicated that there are no plans to change the design to include a switch” highly amusing. They had a discussion about my email. This has never come up before? Say it with me: Shenanigans. I’d like to know what the quality manager really said.
Who exactly are Underwriters Laboratories and why do they put their logo on everything? How did they decided that plugging in a live wire is safe? Maybe I should write to them and ask about it?
A while ago I bought a popcorn popper similar to one we had when I was a kid. It’s a rather simple appliance, and I have many fond memories of making a mess by trying to use a bowl that was too small and putting way too much butter on it. I still like popcorn, and the stuff from a popper is leaps & bounds more awesome than the microwavable kind (but not as cool as the little foil pan that puffs up when you hold it over an oven burner).
The one we had when I was a kid was a little fancier… it had a cup that you filled with a trap door where the butter cup here is… and a butter tray made of metal about the size of a stick of butter in front of that. The one pictured here is like the one currently at home, and it sure doesn’t melt butter… even if you leave it long after all the popcorn has popped. Did anyone test this at the factory before they boxed & shipped it? No one that works there has ever tried to use this thing?
One similar feature to the one I remember form my childhood is a distinct lack of a power switch. Don’t believe me? Check out the video from their site:
One of the first things you learn as a child after the word “no”, not sticking things up your nose, and not eating stuff you find on the floor is to not stick your fingers (or anything else) into an electrical outlet. Everything else comes with a warning label. directly on the electrical cord.. like your hair dryer, a toaster, or even a lamp. This thing just plugs right into the outlet with a crazy little spark and a jarring whir of sound.
Perhaps one has to be a chef to operate the thing? Maybe the guy in the video is just in a costume, I don’t know. Maybe he’s an electrician. Do they have professional popcorn chefs? Was he trained to properly plug a live cord into a receptacle? I like how they don’t show you that part.
I can’t think of anything else that’s on as soon as you plug it in. You can buy a rocker switch rather cheaply. Are they that hard to install? Are they that much more expensive? Should I write to Presto and ask them why they let his dangerous chaos continue? I just might.
What kind of popcorn popper do you have (if you have one)? I’ve never tried one that uses oil… or on of the ones that looks like a tiny cart. Do you have a tricky death-tempting popcorn popper at home, or any other appliance that dares you to dance with 110v?
