Ever see those colored light bulbs in the store labeled “Party Lights”? I must have been invited to the wrong parties all these years. I have never been to a party with party lights. Please, if you’ve been to (or thrown) one of these zany-lighting parties… tell me what it’s like!
I’d like to be invited to a party with pink or blue or green light bulbs. Sure, I’ve seen the yellow ones in action keeping bugs off of a porch, and red ones in a dark room… and black lights(& the cheap black lights that don’t make stuff glow very well), but I’ve never seen party lights used for a party. I’ve eveseen Christmas lights strung up for a party. That can’t compare to the whimsical hilarity of putting in a green light bulb!
I see this email reply as an (incredibly boring) invitation to go in to your local Best Buy & monkey around with everything. Especially the alarm clocks. Does Best Buy even sell alarm clocks any more? If they do, do set them all to go off at weird intervals after hours… or even 10 or 15 minutes before they close. If they’re clock radios, put them on the classical station or talk radio. Do it on the demo cell phones if you can too.
This was their only [yawn] reply:
From: online.communities <email@example.com>
Date: Fri, Jun 8, 2012 at 12:05 PM
Subject: RE: A Formal Apology
To: Waldo Lunar <firstname.lastname@example.org>
We always encourage you, our customer, to come in and look around or even test out our products, so you know what you like or don’t like about them. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us and I’ll be sure to pass this along to our Leadership Team.
I guess they didn’t “get” it, or find it amusing. Of course setting all the alarm clocks is an innocuous thing to do at best, but I was acting like it was a big deal. That’s why (I thought) it was funny. Wow. Best Buy popped my funny balloon.
What a boring dud.
English: Vintage clock radio (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Well, I sent what I thought were going to be two rather fun emails, but they have both gone unanswered. Wow. What a giant dud. As my wife constantly reminds me, I certainly find myself amusing. So, in that spirit I thought I’d share these emails anyway. Perhaps you’ll chuckle too.
From: Waldo Lunar <email@example.com>
Date: Thu, May 31, 2012
Subject: A Formal Apology
Greetings Best Buy Associates,
I write to you today to offer a formal apology. I have lived with guilt for many years, and I would like to be able to clear my conscience. Sadly, you literally asked for what you got, but you certainly didn’t deserve it my friends. I beg you in advance to not unleash the wrath of the Twelpforce or Geek Squad upon my humble self.
Do you remember the commercials from about ten or so years ago that begged one to come in & play with all of the electronics in the store? Well, I said you asked for it. You did. I simply complied.
I went into one of your stores, and tried my best to restrain my maniacal laughter as I set all of the alarm clocks & clock radios to go off at different intervals after the store closed. Some were 5 minutes, some where 10 or even 20. It was incredibly hard to stifle my giggles and pretend like I was incredibly interested in these timepieces. I don’t know how no one noticed. Now I can’t get 10 feet into a Best Buy door without a blue-shirted hawk swooping in to ask if I need help, and I’ll get asked every 3 feet after that if I turn it down. Perhaps shenanigans like mine are why?
At one time, I wished that I could have been around to see the chaos. Okay, maybe I still do. Perhaps a master switch would have cut the power to all of them after the first one went off. I won’t pretend to know the internal machinations of such a colossal retail empire. Perhaps I made a memory for that team and brought them together through adversity in the name of silencing alarm clocks. Perhaps it is a good story to tell trainees, or it may have even been forgotten over time. I was much younger & more brash then. I thought I knew everything. I thought the world was my playground. To be blunt, I was an arrogant young miscreant. I don’t remember if it was planned, or spur of the moment.
I’m sure that when the internet was still “new”, I set more than a few of your browsers to my old band’s web page & walked away. I did this in every store though, not just Best Buy. I won’t apologize for that. A pimp’s got to pimp, right?
I would like to offer an apology to Best Buy as a corporation, the Best Buy employees startled and/or annoyed that day (and their families), and to all of the Best Buy associates that have joined the team since that day (somewhere between 2000 and 2002). I believe this was at the Greensburg PA location across from Westmoreland Mall. Please pass this along to them, if there are any left that may have been working that day. I have seen the err of my ways, and I can live with the guilt no longer!
Thank you for your time, I hope you find it within you to pass along forgiveness for this egregious behavior.
Do you remember those Best Buy commercials from 10 or so years ago where they asked you to come in & try the stuff out?
I did. I went in one night & set all of their alarm clocks to go off about 5, 10, 15, or 20 minutes after closing. I bet it was hilarious. I only wish I had been there to see it. I bet that happened often.
I noticed that you have a lot of kitchen timers and egg timers. What time do you close?
I thought it was funny. Apparently Best Buy and Bed Bath & Beyond did not. I did get the standard “we got your message, someone will write back with in 3 days” replies, over a week ago. I really thought Best Buy would come out with a witty intelligent retort. You’d think an electronics company would be helmed by geeks who found humor in such ridiculousness. Bed Bath & Beyond apparently do not go too far into the beyond part. Oh well.
It’s happening again. I still say it’s a fail of smart phones & tablet PC‘s in their navigation of the internet. At least I hope that’s the problem. It could just be that some people are really not that bright. Maybe it’s a reading comprehension problem. They see a post about McDonald’s & complaints and they hit “contact” thinking they’re somehow contacting McDonald’s, blissfully unaware that the url in the address bar is http://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/ and has nothing to do with McDonald’s. I’m guessing that this is thanks to Google sending everyone who searches “McDonald’s” & “email” or “complaint” to me. Maybe the magic words are “McDonald’s” & “Contact”?
Actually, my incredible WordPress site stats show me most of the search terms that people used to land on my blog today. The culprits are most likely…
firstname.lastname@example.org (3 searches)
email@example.com (1 search)
mcdonalds food tv advertisement (1 search)
mcdonalds hand washing procedures (2 searches)
As you’re reading this, can you say it with me? Seriously, out loud. Ignore the people around you as they look at you like you’re crazy. Take a deep breath. Say it with me:
Eric Carroll(a.k.a. ERiC AiXeLsyD, a.k.a. Waldo Lunar, a.k.a. Bronco Jalapeño)is not McDonald’s. He does not work for McDonald’s. Emails sent through the contact form at aixelsyd13.wordpress.comwill not reach McDonald’s. If I contact World (and Lunar) Domination inexplicably thinking that it is somehow related to McDonald’s (or Kmart), I will be publicly ridiculed on the internet.
I may have to put that on my contact page. I’m guessing you won’t read it anyway if you’re crazy enough to send me an email without really reading anything else on my page.
If the stuff was coming right to my email address, I could almost understand it. But, this is being typed into (or cut & pasted into) the contact form at my site… which looks like nothing related to anything on any McDonald’s website. This most recent one is different in that this McDonald’s is apparently delinquent on a payment to a company that cleaned out their most likely disgusting dirty fryer. This is much more serious than a simple screwed-up order or ignorant employee. I’ll share it with you…
From: Jane Farrell <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: █████████████@█████.com Sent: Wednesday, May 2, 2012 3:08 PM Subject: W(aL)D Feedback
Name: Jane Farrell Email:email@example.com Message / Comment: I sent you a message about Mcdonalds#14518 located at 1101 East Tremont Ave. in the Bronx, N.Y. We went there to repair their frymaster fryer and they refuse to pay us. You sent me a email on 4/4/12 Ref#8770056 that you would send my letter to the regional office in my area. I haven’t been paid as of yet. I would appreciate it, if you could let me know if the store was contacted. Thank You so much, I do appreciate any help in getting this paid.
Jane Farrell, Malachy Mechanical How’d you find my blog?:
Insanity. I had to write back, didn’t I? Yes. Yes, I did. I even decided to offer some help to Jane in perhaps contacting the right person or people on the matter.
From: Waldo Lunar <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com Cc: McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com; firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org Sent: Thursday, May 3, 2012 Subject: Re: W(aL)D Feedback [Sorry, I'm not McDonald's.]
Unfortunately you’re mistaken, as you did not contact me earlier. I am not McDonald’s. I have simply blogged about McDonald’s & my interactions (or attempted interactions) with them. For some odd reason, people keep landing on my website and contacting me, thinking that I am McDonald’s. I assure you, I am not McDonald’s. I don’t work for McDonald’s. I don’t represent McDonald’s. I can’t speak for McDonald’s. I certainly can’t pay their bills. I do sympathize with you though, as McDonald’s apparent ineptitude knows no bounds. I am a blogger who makes light of their insanity with my own. If you would like to follow my journey, please see the following blog posts. They will help to prove & reinforce that I am not McDonald’s, and perhaps bring to light your own error in using my contact form instead of reaching out again to McDonald’s.
I AM NOT McDONALD’S- Like you, Harmony, Shirley, Amber, & Jeffrey mistook me for McDonald’s. This post also links to my earlier correspondence with McDonald’s in case you are interested, as well as valid alternatives to actually contact McDonald’s instead of me, because I am not McDonald’s.
I’m still not McDonald’s.- I inform Harmony, Shirley, and Amber that I’m not McDonald’s. Harmony remains unconvinced. I unintentionally angered local McManager, Scott Kausky.
OK, maybe I am McDonald’s? – Harmony’s husband steps in to assure me that I am indeed McDonald’s, even though though I am clearly not. Mr. Kausky calms down. I create some graphics proving that I am indeed not McDonald’s, & I share a McAdventure.
s,pןɐuopɔɯ ʇou ɯɐ ı- Really. I laid it all out one last time for Harmony & her McHusband. They never responded after this. Perhaps they finally got the message? I disclose more McDonald’s contact options, as I am not McDonald’s and contacting me does nothing but further amusement for myself & my readers.
McConsistency is Key. – Apparently despite all the other blog posts, I’m still the place to go to complain about McDonald’s.
I’m not Kmart. – While I’m not McDonald’s, I’m also not Kmart. Perhaps McDonald’s customers & Kmart shoppers are the same demographic?
Perhaps you’re not interested in my blogs, but in exchange for you taking the time to read them I am prepared to help you in your plight for payment. I have researched several ways for you to contact McDonald’s, none of which are the contact form located at my website. Let us go through them together:
Perhaps you should reply to the email Ref#8770056. I don’t know what the reply-to address is, because I am not McDonald’s. I didn’t have anything to do with receiving or generating anything in that email chain. Instead of replying to this email, you used my contact form.
http://www.mcnewyork.com/14518 Is their page, it has limited contact information, no contact form or email address. You can call them at (718) 824-4123 but I suppose that you have already tried that. You could use their Apply Online form to apply for a job & try to collect once you go in for an interview.
You could try the people I’ve dealt with, but it may anger them. I’ll let you dig their contact information out of my blog posts if that’s the route you’re going to take.
I hope that I have been able to provide some clarity, amusement, and even some actual help today (even though I am not McDonald’s). Good luck in your quest, this is most certainly more annoying than the usual lack of ketchup packets or pattyless burger! Have a nice day.