I saw this the other day at the Giant Eagle in Bridgeville. It blew my mind. All of the stickers/magnets were on the driver’s side of the vehicle… there were none on the back or the other side. I had to take some photos.
I tried to get a few angles…
Insanity. You get all that? Let’s analyze some of these stickers and magnets, ignoring the fact that they’re all on one side of the vehicle. Here we go…
I’ll try to tackle these dozen highlights one at a time:
- Support BP Music, NC State, and they love their dog. Call me sexist, but I’m assuming this is a woman’s car. She loves her dog. BP is Bethel Park, right? A lot of colleges are represented on this car.
- Here we have some refrigerator magnet letters, a penguins sticker, and something unidentifiable. We can only guess as to what GH, VA, & UP mean. Go Home? Virginia? UP what? Why are the letters faded to clear? Did they start out clear, or did UV rays suck out all the pigment?
- Here we have two giant Penguin bottle-cap refrigerator magnets, which can only mean twice the support for your hockey team and twice the alcohol problem.
- She really loves her dog. She doesn’t love her van. Magnets get tiny rocks stuck behind them, and they scratch the paint on your car. Paint also discolors behind them.
- Here we have the troop support ribbon, a probably non licensed Steelers football, and a pink Baby on Board sign. I say if you have a troop support ribbon on your car with any other ribbons… it negates the gravity of your sentiment. There’s another ribbon somewhere among all this chaos. By buying generic “go black and gold” sticker, you are stealing money from the poor underprivileged team that you support. If your car looks like with all the stickers, I hope you didn’t tattoo one side of the baby you supposedly have on board.
West Virginia and Penn State on the same vehicle? Pitt is in there too. You are a rather conflicted individual… assuring you’re going to get keyed no matter what school you visit. I bet college kids love getting picked up in this van. Also, you love your Pomeranian a little too much. You’re not into bestiality, are you? I sure hope you didn’t dye it purple. Wait. Is Baby the dog?
- Here’s that devotion to Pitt, a faded Pens sticker, a blue Steelers football, a Penn State paw, and a secret coded message with the ‘fridge magnets. JFLE S ON. What is Jfle on? Crack?
- Only the best fans have super faded stickers. Was this a Steelers one, or one for one of the colleges… or high school?
- XK? XK.
- A Steelers cap, but there’s only one. Not as devoted as the Pens? You only drink half as much during football? There’s something unidentifiable, an M (I think), and something saying something about how you roll. I think we know how you roll.
- Is this a Nascar sticker, or a Sunoco one?
- Protesting construction in Pittsburgh? That’s actually funny. Perhaps the construction workers would be amused by it when you pass… if they could pick it out of the madness. This ribbon apparently supports ninjas.
So, what’s your take? What is this all about? Is it a statement? Is it kitsch? Is it art? Is it madness? Is it super fandom? Is it hoarding? Is is someone who is banned from putting magnets on the refrigerator at home or a girl that was ever allowed to hang teen heart-throb photos on the wall while growing up? Is it covering bird poop? Is it a message for the aliens when they finally arrive? Hoarders: Sticker And Magnets Edition? Where is your OBX-like “PGH”, “N@”, “N’at” or “Yinz” sticker?
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