So if you’re looking for a Christmas, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa or Festivus gift… You may not want to go with these, unless you’re trying to give some kind of hint that you don’t like the recipient. I’ve heard them advertised on the radio lately, and they’re both just ridiculous.
Go nuts over Fresh Balls!
Fresh Balls - “So Fresh. So Dry.” | It is what it sounds like. Some kind of deodorant, lotion, or talc for application to your apparently sweaty coin purse. Maybe I’m not active or sweaty enough, but I’ve never considered this a real problem. They advertise buying it for someone as a gift. Who’s damp smelly package are you close to on a regular basis? I have some good friends, and I’ve thankfully never smelled their family jewels. If I ever do smell someone’s nether-regions, I’ll be sure to tell them about Fresh Balls.
✔ Badass colors ✔ Badass patterns ✔ Badass warranty
Seats of Anarchy - “Custom toilet seats for hard asses.” | I love some good terrible wordplay, but the name is almost as atrocious as the idea. I’ve never watched Sons of Anarchy, but do they poop a lot? If they did, I could see the point to this then. If your man cave is your bathroom… maybe this would be appropriate? Someone better get their Copyright and/or Trademark lawyers on this pretty quickly. Nothing says badass like a camouflage toilet seat, or one with barbed wire. Guarantee that all your guests will hover! “Designer” toilet seats for manly men and bikers… It sounds like a crappy idea. Get it? Crappy? Toilet seat? Ugh.
So, what have you seen lately what would make a horrible holiday present? Anything as bad as (or worse than) these?
Posted in Consumer Advocacy, Funny Stuff, Good Websites, I Need Your Feedback, Life, Rants in my pants, Retailers, Stuff from the Internet
Tagged Anarchy, awful, ✔, Badass, balls, bathroom, Chanuka, Chanukah, Chanukkah, Christmas, Christmas and holiday season, Christmas tree, coin purse, Copyright, designer, Festivus, Fresh Balls, FreshBalls, FreshBalls.com, gift, gifts, google, Hanukkah, holiday, Holidays, horrible, Hygiene, Kwanzaa, man cave, new year, opinions, present, presents, Quanza, Ramadan, ridiculous, scrotum, seat, Seats, Seats of Anarchy, Seinfeld, solstice, Sons of Anarchy, sweat, sweaty, terrible, testicles, toilet, Toilet seat, Toilet Seats, winter, WTF, חֲנֻכָּה, חנוכה
Let’s express gratitude for our prosperity while ravaging a beheaded fowl carcass.
I mean, Happy Thanksgiving!
Let’s all celebrate much like we should on Columbus Day. Go to your neighbor’s house, call them heathens, kick them out, and claim it as your own. Make them teach you how to plant corn first.
Or, just read this to the kids: Bizarro Back Issues: Batman in The Worst Thanksgiving Ever
Yes, it actually says "…two Indians on the war path after that white man!"
Really, be thankful for things and people you have in your life, and take the time to celebrate the goofy, too.
Posted in Funny Stuff
Tagged Batman, beheaded, carcass., Columbus Day, Express, fowl, goofy, Gratitude, Happy Thanksgiving, History, Holidays, prosperity, ravaging, Some Ecards, Thanksgiving, turkey
I can’t wait to make stuffing again. It’s ridiculously tasty. I love the carb overload. Maybe I will get those goggles, and I need to pick up some Yuengling. A week from tonight, I should be in the process of creating this awesomeness.
I’ll show you my stuffing recipe if you show me yours.
How do you do it?
Maybe this year, I’ll try to make some Potato Filling too. There are a bunch of recipes for it out there. Maybe stuffing balls would be good… Now I’m hungry.
Posted in Food, Life, Recipes
Tagged 'fridge, Beer, Bethany, black pepper, bowl, bread, bread loaves, butt, butter, celery, chop, chopped, chopping board, coarse ground black pepper, coffee table, Cook, Cooking, cube, cubed, D.G. Yuengling & Son, dinner, dressing, Dutch, eat, egg, Eggs, electric roaster, electric skillet, extra virgin olie oil, Food, fresh parsley, giblets, gravy, gross, Holidays, Home, K.I.S.S., Keep it simple stupid, KISS, kitchen, knife, knived, large crock pot, Lawry's, left-overs, leftovers, loaves of bread, magc bullet, Magic Bullet®, McCormick, Morton, neck, onions, oven, oven crock pot, parsley, Pennsylvania, pepper, photo, photograph, picture, Pittsburgh, plate, Potato Filling, poultry, poultry seasoning, Recipe, recipies, refridgerator, roaster, roaster pan, roasting pan, sage, salt, Season All, seasoned salt, Spanish onions, spices, stale, stale bread, Stuffing, stuffing balls, stuffing/dressing, Stuffings and Dressings, sweet onions, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving dinner, turkey, turkey broth, turkey giblets, turkey neck, United States, vegetabe broth, vegetable broth, wash your hands, Water, Yuengling