So, you did read my initial letter about Totino’s and the follow-up correspondence, right? Well, needless to say, my research grant is a little smaller than expected. Some “cents off” apparently means just that.
I got 3 of these bad boys, entitling me to a whole 35¢ off of one Totino’s product. One dollar and five cents off of three Totino’s products? I’m sure I get more than that when I use my Giant Eagle Advantage Card & get them on a regular sale. Maybe Giant Eagle will double these since they’re less than a dollar… So I’ll be getting $2.10 worth of free pizza rolls. I wonder what the regular price is?
Right now, Giant Eagle has Totino’s Pizza Rolls on sale… 3 boxes for $8. They say they’re normally 3 for $10. So… About 40 rolls in the 19.8 oz. bag, 35¢ would get me 4 pizza rolls? And, I’d only be able to use one coupon with this special, as the Giant Eagle website states that you must buy 3 bags in order to get the $2 off, and the back of the coupon states that no other coupon is to be used with this coupon. Does the sale act as a coupon? If not, I could still only use the one coupon at a time… so out of 120 pizza rolls, a whopping 4 would be free?
Perhaps this was a karmic slap in the face? Maybe a well-deserved one. You’d think they would simply either not offer any coupons at all… or offer some coupons that are actually worth something… like a BOGO or at least a dollar off. Perhaps they’re just cheap, or this is all they’re authorized to give out? It cost them 38¢ to mail me the damn coupons! That would have been 4 or 5 more free pizza rolls had they emailed me some coupons. Maybe they know I’m goofing on them.
The letter accompanying the coupons is quite amusing…
When I see someone write “the internet”, I always think of the guy to the right. I have no idea why. I just do. It sounds archaic written down like that. THE INTERNET! HA! HA!
Not sure where to go from here. Do I write back, and ask for more research funding? Do I ask to talk to someone else who may be able to offer more money? Do I write to completely unrelated organizations and as for research grants? Has anyone reading this ever applied for a grant? Should I include a research proposal? Maybe I should just write back, super-excited about the $1.05, saying what a generous gift it is. Maybe I should ask to speak directly to General Mills or Totino himself? Heh. I feel confident in turning this up a notch.
Also… research will definitely go forward. I will need some time to assemble my team (although, I think I already know who’s in), procure the test product, and schedule a date for the study.
Stay tuned, loyal subjects!