Downfall from Do(ugh)nut Domination


I’ve been getting emails from Krispy Kreme reminding me to come buy & eat some doughnuts.  The only problem is that there aren’t any Krispy Kremes around where I can go buy said doughnuts.  Much like Quiznos, they seem to have parted ways with our area.  I decided to write to them and see what happened.

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Feb 10, 2012
Subject: So, what happened?
To: JBryant@krispykreme.com; hotlight@krispykreme.com; contact@krispykreme.com; lwatson@krispykreme.com; webmaster@krispykreme.com; jmorgan@krispykreme.com; friends@krispykreme.com; krispykreme@casupport.com

Greetings Doughnut Despots,

I’m writing to ask you what happened.  Occasionally I get an email reminding me to visit a Krispy Kreme, and I think to myself “yeah, that’s a good idea.”  Sadly, there are no Krispy Kremes around any more.  I remember the stir of excitement when you first came to the area many years ago.  I believe it was even a news story… “Pittsburgh is getting Krispy Kreme!”  The fervor for hot fresh donuts was palpable.  The neon sign beckoning me in for a visit worked on several occasions when I wasn’t even craving donuts.  I’d generally come in to buy a Boston cream donut & an iced tea or chocolate milk… all because of that glowing invitation.  I always loved the retro decor, the smell, and the ability to see the magical doughnut making process.  You quickly dispatched with local competition.  Dunkin Donuts most decidedly took a hit, and you wiped out some of the local weird places like Donut Connetcion and Mister Donut.

Then, you pulled out like an occupying force ordered home.  There’s hardly a trace of Krispy Kreme left in Southwestern Pennsylvania.  I’ve noticed a lot of area locations like Greensburg, Pleasant Hills, and Monroeville are now Chick-fil-A restaurants, and a still-empty Krispy Kreme building sits as a shell of sadness in Robinson Township.  I remember the “remodeling / be back soon” sign hung for years before someone just gave up.  I mean, I absolutely love all the full service Chick-fil-A locations, but I also like hot fresh donuts every once in a while.  You used to be in several Sheetz locations, but now I think they mostly receive their donuts from somewhere else.  Plus, they’re not exactly hot n’ fresh there.

Remaining on your email list has become simply receiving an occasional taunt for something I can’t have.  Perhaps I should unsubscribe?

Dunkin Donuts seems to be making a rebound, and I must confess that I find their Boston cream (Boston creme?) offering to be a much fuller, larger, and more satisfying confectionery treat.  But, they don’t lure me in with a hot fresh free delicious donut, and I can’t watch them being made.  (Is it doughnut, or donut?)  There’s also a killer “mom n’ pop” donut shop that’s a bit of a hike for me, but worth the trip… Big Daddy’s Donuts.

The truth is… I miss you, Krispy Kreme.  Do you have plans to come back to the area with hot fresh goodness?  Are you going to make me drive all the way to Washington county to get a doughnut & take a chance on the hot light being on?  Why did all of the area locations shut down?  Were you muscled out by local donut barons?  Did too many yinzers line up for free doughnuts and not actually buy anything?  Did Sheetz want too much too soon?  Did people go on diets or realize that too many donuts are a bad thing?  Was you plan all along to wipe out local donut shops and leave the area starved of donuts because of the high geographical rate of diabetes, thus ensuring better health for the population of the Pittsburgh area?  I need (and feel that I deserve) some answers, my friends.  What happened?  Please don’t brush me off with the standard, “it’s not you, it’s us.”  I need some concrete reasons.

Thank you for your time, I hope you’re doing well.  I’m sure you’re as hot n’ fresh as always… just not for me.

Hungrily Yours,
-Waldo Lunar

I also had a Twitter exchange of sorts, but it was all DM’s on their end…

They said:

@krispykreme | Please send us your email address and we’ll contact you.

They said:

@krispykreme | Thanks again for passing along your email address. You can also email us hotlight@krispykreme.com.

Then I DM’ed

@W_a_L_D | Thank you! Rock n’ roll! Looking forward to a reply.

And tweeted…

Heh.

Eventually, I received an emailed reply…

From: <krispykreme@casupport.com>
Date: Mon, Feb 13, 2012
Subject: Case #1099627
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

Dear Mr. Lunar,

Thank you for your email regarding wanting a Krispy Kreme in the southwestern Pennsylvania area. We appreciate the opportunity to assist you. We, here at Krispy Kreme, always love to hear from our customers and it is great to hear that you enjoy our products!  We would like to take this time to thank you for taking the time to share your comments.

There are many reasons why stores close. Generally speaking, the franchisee decides to pursue other business ventures. We have shared your concerns and requests with our operations department for review.

Please be assured that we are working hard to open new stores and continue expanding throughout the United States and Canada. For your convenience, new store locations and details are also available on our website at www.KrispyKreme.com.  The site is regularly updated with information as soon as it becomes available.

Best regards,
Lyndon Palmer
Krispy Kreme Customer Experience
www.krispykreme.com

Krispy Kreme glazed donuts.

Doughnuts or Donuts?

I’m still left wondering if “Donut” is a bastardization, like “Late Nite” instead of “Late Night” or “Drive-Thru” instead of “Drive-Through.  If so, why spell doughnut correctly while blatantly (and borderline offensively) misspelling Crispy and Cream with K’s?  (I mean, add one more K in there…)  While we’re at it, is it Creme or Cream?  Are they the same, or different things?  And, isn’t the filling just pudding or is it custard? 

They declined to comment on the wiping out & eventual rebound of their spelling-handicapped competition.  Perhaps a classy move.  Dunkin’ Donuts never replied to that tweet, either.

HOT NOW

You know you want some doughnuts. Come get them. Eat the free one, then buy some more. It's hot, well... warm, and fresh... and you can see some being made. Man, you're hungry for doughnuts.

I don’t believe that Franchisees simply chose to “pursue other business ventures.”  You don’t quit if you’re making money.  You don’t all dry up if there is demand for your product and you’re selling it at a reasonable price.  I find it funny (odd funny not “ha ha” funny) that a lot of the old Krispy Kreme buildings became Chick-fil-A’s.

In fact, I’m not sure if they answered any of my questions directly.  Should I perhaps write back?

Also, tell me in the comments where you get your donuts!  Am I missing some great local shops?  Who has the best donuts?  What’s your favorite donut?  Is it “donut” or “doughnut”?  Let’s talk all things do(ugh)nuts in the comments!

15 responses to “Downfall from Do(ugh)nut Domination

  1. I’m SO sad about Krispy Kreme going away. I used to be a fatass and eat an entire box of glazed by myself (half of it gone by the trip home). They need to come back. I too miss that glowing, neon, red sign. I would instantly pull over to grab a fresh donut or two right off the line.

    I also can’t believe you mentioned Big Daddys!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D I LOVE them. I go there all the time, and it’s such a nice, homey, neighborhood place great for hanging out and talking to your friends and workers. Plus, they are 24hrs and support the fire dept and its’ volunteers. A brand new Dunkin Donuts has been built in our same town, but it’s just another chain store. I love their menu, but their main product, the donut, lacks majorly to me.

    Like

    • Yeah, Big Daddy’s is awesome. I used to pass it all the time when I went down to McKees Rocks for Gasoline Dion practice. I bet they make theri donuts early in the morning, huh? I’d always get there late, & kind of have to take whatever was left.

      Dunkin’ Donuts has a better Boston Creme donut, but all the others are about the same. Nothing beats a hot fresh doughnut. I wish somebody still had the ones that look like a jelly donut, but they’re filled with peanut butter. DD used to have them all the time, but I haven’t seen one in years.

      Like

      • We just did a 2am trip to BDs. I suggested the pepperoni roll, and that’s what they got. I got their amazing giant cinnamon roll with maple icing and a valentines donut. The guy gave us each a VDay donut while we were in there eating ;D Great food and great people, once again (best at odd hours of night guaranteed)
        They make them as we are there over night starting at 11pm-ish. They are all out, fresh, by 5am.

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  2. Krispy Kreme is even getting sparse in the south. I think they’re very trendy, if doughnuts can be trendy. People get their fill, places close, people miss them, places open back up.

    At my son’s college tbey have the Krispy Kreme challenge every year – run 2.5 miles, jam down a dozen glazed, 2.5 miles back. I was visiting two weeks ago during this years race. The finish line was very ugly.

    Like

    • Interesting that they’re pulling out of the south now too. Someone left me a link to this article form 2005 on Facebook:

      CFO.com | Kremed!

      …which basically makes me call shenanigans on their entire answer blaming franchisees. I would venture to bet that the locations around here were part of the corporate buyback only to be closed.

      I can imagine the run at your son’s school is more like torture toward the end. I’m a chubby dude, and I’d be hard-pressed to down a dozen doughnuts. Well, that… and running for a distance of any more than 50 feet would probably take me down on its own.

      Like

  3. I might have to write back to them, and ask why they felt the need to lie.

    Like

  4. We ONLY have Dunkin Donuts here. Dunkin Donuts on almost every street corner. On BOTH sides of the road. Everywhere. Then again, I believe I live only a few miles away from Dunkin Donuts’ headquarters. Oh there is the occasional HoneyDew Donuts, but nobody really goes there. I don’t think anyone does anyway! Their donuts are twice as heavy as Dunkin’s. I can eat 3 Dunkins but only 1 HoneyDew.

    I loved your letter to Krispy Kreme and how they completely but politely ignored all your questions! Typical!

    Like

    • Ah, Krispy Kreme wiped out Dunkin’ Donuts in our area, but they’re making a rebound. Never heard of HoneyDew Donuts.

      Most companies politely ignore my more goofy or embarrassing questions. I may perhaps have to write back & ask them about corporate buybacks…

      Like

  5. Oh, I forgot to say, that Krispy Kreme was but a dream here. Never had one near me, and haven’t tried one yet!

    Like

  6. Pingback: Do(ugh)nut Despot Docility | World (and Lunar) Domination

  7. To Ms. Watson; to let you know that “We” and “I” missed our Krispy Kreme Doughnuts here in Houston, Texas. Cause i bought my’s at the Kroger’s Store on 1352 West 43rd Street Houston, Texas 77018. It was a treat to purchase these Krispy Kreme Doughnuts when there was a staff meeting where i volunteered at Oak Forest Elem. School on each Wednesday. And we all missed our Treats. Thanks Bertha Brown

    Like

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