So if you’re looking for a Christmas, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa or Festivus gift… You may not want to go with these, unless you’re trying to give some kind of hint that you don’t like the recipient. I’ve heard them advertised on the radio lately, and they’re both just ridiculous.
Fresh Balls – “So Fresh. So Dry.” | It is what it sounds like. Some kind of deodorant, lotion, or talc for application to your apparently sweaty coin purse. Maybe I’m not active or sweaty enough, but I’ve never considered this a real problem. They advertise buying it for someone as a gift. Who’s damp smelly package are you close to on a regular basis? I have some good friends, and I’ve thankfully never smelled their family jewels. If I ever do smell someone’s nether-regions, I’ll be sure to tell them about Fresh Balls.
Seats of Anarchy – “Custom toilet seats for hard asses.” | I love some good terrible wordplay, but the name is almost as atrocious as the idea. I’ve never watched Sons of Anarchy, but do they poop a lot? If they did, I could see the point to this then. If your man cave is your bathroom… maybe this would be appropriate? Someone better get their Copyright and/or Trademark lawyers on this pretty quickly. Nothing says badass like a camouflage toilet seat, or one with barbed wire. Guarantee that all your guests will hover! “Designer” toilet seats for manly men and bikers… It sounds like a crappy idea. Get it? Crappy? Toilet seat? Ugh.
So, what have you seen lately what would make a horrible holiday present? Anything as bad as (or worse than) these?
- What a public toilet seat and Taylor Swift have in common (facetiousfirecracker.wordpress.com)
- Santa Home Décor – Toilet Seat Cover (on.aol.com)
- Can You Catch Germs From a Public Toilet Seat? (everydayhealth.com)
- 12 days of Christmas countdown-Day 1 (3scrappyboys.typepad.com)
- Are homemade Christmas presents always better? (guardian.co.uk)
- The 12 gifts at Christmas no one wants from you (timesunion.com)
- The Three Christmas Gift Rule (boymomblog.com)
- All You Need To Know About Kwanzaa [infographic] (degreesearch.org)
- Cat Christmas Cards (cardstore.com)
- Google generates Festivus pole search results for the rest of us (news.cnet.com)