1 lb. ground beef
1/2 c. dry bread crumbs
1/3 c. minced onion
1/4 c. milk
1 tbsp. parsley flakes
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
1/2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
1/4 c. shortening
2 Cups Bronco Sauce
Mix beef, crumbs, onion, milk, egg, parsley flakes, salt, pepper, and Worcestershire sauce. Gently shape into 1-inch balls. Melt shortening in electric skillet, brown meatballs. Remove meatballs from skillet; drain off fat. Heat Bronco Berry Sauce in large crock pot stirring constantly. Add meatballs; stir until coated. Simmer 30 minutes, serve hot with a toothpick or in a sub roll.
*crisp up some Pierogies in butter in a skillet
*put on a plate
*dip in Bronco Berry Sauce, or drizzle on for a fabulous presentation
Bronco Berry Ball Sauce by Trista
48 precooked meatballs
(Meatball recipe at the end for people who don’t know how to wad together some meat and seasoning)
12 oz bottle of Heinz Chili Sauce
8 oz jar of grape jelly
Arby’s Bronco Berry Sauce
Dump entire bottle of chili sauce into a pot. Add half of the jar of grape jelly (4 ounces) and equal amount of Arby’s Bronco Berry Saunce. Heat and stir until everything cooks down into a yummy looking sauce. Add meatballs. Simmer. Serve.
So, now you vote! Who deserves to win the 13 lucky packets of sweet jalapeño goodness?
You have a week to vote, then I’ll ship the goodies to the winner after they’re notified. You vote according to the rules of the poll, so I believe you can vote often. Get your friends & family to vote for you, and may the best recipe win!
If you haven’t been following the adventures of Bronco Jalapeño, you may want to catch up:
It’s happening again. I still say it’s a fail of smart phones & tablet PC‘s in their navigation of the internet. At least I hope that’s the problem. It could just be that some people are really not that bright. Maybe it’s a reading comprehension problem. They see a post about McDonald’s & complaints and they hit “contact” thinking they’re somehow contacting McDonald’s, blissfully unaware that the url in the address bar is https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/ and has nothing to do with McDonald’s. I’m guessing that this is thanks to Google sending everyone who searches “McDonald’s” & “email” or “complaint” to me. Maybe the magic words are “McDonald’s” & “Contact”?
Actually, my incredible WordPress site stats show me most of the search terms that people used to land on my blog today. The culprits are most likely…
email@example.com (3 searches)
firstname.lastname@example.org (1 search)
mcdonalds food tv advertisement (1 search)
mcdonalds hand washing procedures (2 searches)
As you’re reading this, can you say it with me? Seriously, out loud. Ignore the people around you as they look at you like you’re crazy. Take a deep breath. Say it with me:
Eric Carroll(a.k.a. ERiC AiXeLsyD, a.k.a. Waldo Lunar, a.k.a. Bronco Jalapeño)is not McDonald’s. He does not work for McDonald’s. Emails sent through the contact form at aixelsyd13.wordpress.comwill not reach McDonald’s. If I contact World (and Lunar) Domination inexplicably thinking that it is somehow related to McDonald’s (or Kmart), I will be publicly ridiculed on the internet.
I may have to put that on my contact page. I’m guessing you won’t read it anyway if you’re crazy enough to send me an email without really reading anything else on my page.
If the stuff was coming right to my email address, I could almost understand it. But, this is being typed into (or cut & pasted into) the contact form at my site… which looks like nothing related to anything on any McDonald’s website. This most recent one is different in that this McDonald’s is apparently delinquent on a payment to a company that cleaned out their most likely disgusting dirty fryer. This is much more serious than a simple screwed-up order or ignorant employee. I’ll share it with you…
From: Jane Farrell <email@example.com> To: █████████████@█████.com Sent: Wednesday, May 2, 2012 3:08 PM Subject: W(aL)D Feedback
Name: Jane Farrell Email:firstname.lastname@example.org Message / Comment: I sent you a message about Mcdonalds#14518 located at 1101 East Tremont Ave. in the Bronx, N.Y. We went there to repair their frymaster fryer and they refuse to pay us. You sent me a email on 4/4/12 Ref#8770056 that you would send my letter to the regional office in my area. I haven’t been paid as of yet. I would appreciate it, if you could let me know if the store was contacted. Thank You so much, I do appreciate any help in getting this paid.
Jane Farrell, Malachy Mechanical How’d you find my blog?:
Insanity. I had to write back, didn’t I? Yes. Yes, I did. I even decided to offer some help to Jane in perhaps contacting the right person or people on the matter.
From: Waldo Lunar <email@example.com> To: firstname.lastname@example.org Cc: McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com; email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com Sent: Thursday, May 3, 2012 Subject: Re: W(aL)D Feedback [Sorry, I’m not McDonald’s.]
Unfortunately you’re mistaken, as you did not contact me earlier. I am not McDonald’s. I have simply blogged about McDonald’s & my interactions (or attempted interactions) with them. For some odd reason, people keep landing on my website and contacting me, thinking that I am McDonald’s. I assure you, I am not McDonald’s. I don’t work for McDonald’s. I don’t represent McDonald’s. I can’t speak for McDonald’s. I certainly can’t pay their bills. I do sympathize with you though, as McDonald’s apparent ineptitude knows no bounds. I am a blogger who makes light of their insanity with my own. If you would like to follow my journey, please see the following blog posts. They will help to prove & reinforce that I am not McDonald’s, and perhaps bring to light your own error in using my contact form instead of reaching out again to McDonald’s.
I AM NOT McDONALD’S– Like you, Harmony, Shirley, Amber, & Jeffrey mistook me for McDonald’s. This post also links to my earlier correspondence with McDonald’s in case you are interested, as well as valid alternatives to actually contact McDonald’s instead of me, because I am not McDonald’s.
I’m still not McDonald’s.– I inform Harmony, Shirley, and Amber that I’m not McDonald’s. Harmony remains unconvinced. I unintentionally angered local McManager, Scott Kausky.
OK, maybe I am McDonald’s? – Harmony’s husband steps in to assure me that I am indeed McDonald’s, even though though I am clearly not. Mr. Kausky calms down. I create some graphics proving that I am indeed not McDonald’s, & I share a McAdventure.
s,pןɐuopɔɯ ʇou ɯɐ ı– Really. I laid it all out one last time for Harmony & her McHusband. They never responded after this. Perhaps they finally got the message? I disclose more McDonald’s contact options, as I am not McDonald’s and contacting me does nothing but further amusement for myself & my readers.
McConsistency is Key. – Apparently despite all the other blog posts, I’m still the place to go to complain about McDonald’s.
I’m not Kmart. – While I’m not McDonald’s, I’m also not Kmart. Perhaps McDonald’s customers & Kmart shoppers are the same demographic?
Perhaps you’re not interested in my blogs, but in exchange for you taking the time to read them I am prepared to help you in your plight for payment. I have researched several ways for you to contact McDonald’s, none of which are the contact form located at my website. Let us go through them together:
Perhaps you should reply to the email Ref#8770056. I don’t know what the reply-to address is, because I am not McDonald’s. I didn’t have anything to do with receiving or generating anything in that email chain. Instead of replying to this email, you used my contact form.
http://www.mcnewyork.com/14518 Is their page, it has limited contact information, no contact form or email address. You can call them at (718) 824-4123 but I suppose that you have already tried that. You could use their Apply Online form to apply for a job & try to collect once you go in for an interview.
You could try the people I’ve dealt with, but it may anger them. I’ll let you dig their contact information out of my blog posts if that’s the route you’re going to take.
I hope that I have been able to provide some clarity, amusement, and even some actual help today (even though I am not McDonald’s). Good luck in your quest, this is most certainly more annoying than the usual lack of ketchup packets or pattyless burger! Have a nice day.
OK. If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that I have an entire case(& a little more) of Arby’s delicious Bronco Berry Sauce just taking up space in my dining room. I would eat it all if I could, but it’s probably not an achievable (or wise) goal. Sadly, my Bronco Berry Sauce will have to go without its perfect partner Arby’s delicious Jalapeño Bites… as they have not yet returned to the menu here in Pittsburgh. Perhaps there is still reason to Occupy Arby’s even if Hala asked me nicely not to?
I’m left with a few tasks… figuring out what to do with the sauce besides dunking Tyson’s chicken tenders in it, and trying to pawn some off on friends, family, and maybe even a busker. It expires in June, and I’d hate for any (more) to go to waste.
I was thinking it may make an excellent glaze for meatloaf, or even as an internal ingredient. It would also probably be good as a glaze on grilled or baked chicken, but I’m guessing the high sugar content would make it blacken quite quickly. I wonder if it will freeze? A Bronco Berry Popsicle could be either incredible or disastrous. Would there be a way to work it into an icing (or again as an ingredient) in a chocolate cupcake?
My readers and commenters are obviously the most enlightened and intelligent group of people I know, so I’m turning to you for ideas.
I promise to wrap it better than my last gift from Arby's if I need to mail it to you.
Here’s where the contest comes in. Give me your recipe for something including Arby’s Bronco Berry Sauce as an ingredient. You may want to familiarize yourself with it if you’ve never tried it. The name is misleading, it contains no berries or horses. It’s sweet, it’s spicy, it’s awesome. This will be like Chopped or Iron Chef, except instead of TV fame and butt-loads of money the prize is… Let’s say 13 packs of Bronco Berry Sauce, because I like the number 13. Also, I’m not Alton Brown or Ted Allen. If it’s really good, we’ll maybe eventually have to make copycat recipes to continue making the prize winner.
You have until Friday May 4th to get your recipes to me. I’ll post them in a blog, put up a poll, and have the readers vote. We’ll close the poll & pick a winner on May 13th. You can enter multiple times within reason. Voting will happen with the little poll widget here, so encourage your friends, neighbors, family, and even enemies to vote for you.
The only way to enter: You can email your fantastically delicious recipe to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject containing the hashtag “#Bronco13” & the name of your recipe. We’ll annoy people with it on Twitter, Google+, Pinterest, & wherever else hashtags work.
In the event of a tie, both of you will get 13 packets of Bronco Berry Sauce.
Today there was a nice little squishy bubble pack in the mailbox when I got home. It had my name on it and appeared to be from Arby’s again. More neat stuff from Arby’s? What could it be? A hat? A T-shirt? An oven mitt that talks like Tom Arnold when you press a button? (Actually, that would be pretty neat.)
I hope it wasn’t intentional. It’s like a mini version of the horse-head scene in The Godfather. I mean, the card is sort of impersonal, but the gesture is nice when the sentiment isn’t stained with blood red not-really-berry sauce. It’s unsettling to open such a package. It almost looks like a threat.
It’s a Bronco Berry Bloodbath!
I promise to wrap it better than my last gift from Arby’s if I need to mail it to you.
I’m guessing that given Arby’s’ track record, it’s not a threat and it’s yet another genuine attempt to keep a goofy customer happy. I have no idea if this generated from their web contact form, or Twitter, or what. I would have maybe liked a more personal letter (again like the incredible one from Ms. Moddlemog), and the United States Postal Service to have handled my package with more care. Ha. Handled my package. But, I’ll settle for free stuff… even if there are only 2 unmolested packets.
I did notice it was addressed to me, and notBronco Jalapeño. I also noticed that these packets are rectangular… where the other ones are circles. Clearly, there is more than one source for Bronco Berry Sauce. Where is it my friends? Can I find it? Can I buy direct? Can I get the recipe?
I need a job where I can reply to goofy emails all day, and send people cool free swag… or gooey free swag.
So, what do you think of this effort? I have scored many awesome freebies, but I still don’t have jalapeño bites being served at Arby’s in Pittsburgh. Is this a fail? Do we still need a protest song?
Should I complain to the post office about this?
If you have no idea what’s going on, check out these posts:
The other day I made a Facebook post about Taco Bell‘s commercials. It got people excited, and it got me thinking. Are Taco Bell’s commercials purposely aiming at stoners? I would say yes, but maybe I’m over-thinking it. Maybe it’s a humorous accident. Maybe I just really want to try that Dorito taco shell.
♫♬ Late night munchies... ♫♬
I (of course) decided to write to Taco Bell and ask them about it. Here’s what I sent…
From: Waldo Lunar <email@example.com> To: Rob.Poetsch@yum.com Cc: Brittany.Hunsaker@yum.com Sent: Friday, April 20, 2012 Subject: ⌓ Taco Bell’s Drug Culture Advertising?
¡Hola, hombres from the border!
I’ve been wondering about your advertising for quite some time. With phrases like “late night munchies” and “fourth meal”, are you actively trying to evoke a connection to pot smokers? That “baaaawww” yell in you jingle might as well be the word “bong”. Now with this Dorito taco shell and the kid that drove 900 miles to get one, it’s just pushing it over the edge. Are you planning a film for it in the vein of Harold & Kumar go to White Castle? If not, maybe you should.
I just can’t tell if you’re aware of it or not. It’s genius either way.
If you are aware of it, wow. Way to straddle the subculture line while subliminally (or not so) appealing to what has to be a core makeup of your consumer base. If you’re not aware of it, then… well, maybe you ought to talk to your advertising agency or marketing department or whoever handles such campaigns. They are the true geniuses to behold here.
Maybe I’m just hyper-aware of nonsense or trying to make correlations where there are none… and you really see no connection or intend one with your commercials and stoner culture. I mean, I don’t partake… but consider myself well informed as I have seen Friday, Half Baked, and several Cheech & Chong movies. I refuse to think I’m the only one that sees it.
If I see it, surely you see it too? Why don’t you just come out & say it? I have some possible new slogans for you…
⌓ “Cure the munchies with our crunchies!” ⌓ “Get baked at the Bell!” ⌓ “Fishbowl then drive thru!” ⌓ “Open late with a well lit parking lot for shady deals!”
Well, that last one needs some work. I’m anxious to hear your thoughts on the whole thing. Thank you for your time.
At least the employees here agree (if this is indeed real).
I’m anxious to see what they send back. Will they acknowledge it? Will they be shocked? Will they act surprised?
Did they give that kid enough coupons to equal 55½¢ per mile? That’s $500 in Taco Bell Bucks… and depending on the year of that Volvo, he might not be getting that good of a deal on the gas milage.
I know, I’m over-analyzing the thing… but that’s what makes my blog fun.
I feel like they know exactly what they’re doing, but I guess there’s a fine line between finding your market & making overt marijuana references. Perhaps the latter would get some people up in arms. Has weed not become that acceptable yet? I know functioning contributing members of society that smoke… but then again I have seen some people that are consumed by it.
They don't really make tilde characters for those signs, do they?
I guess it’s still illegal… so they can’t tell you to bake up & amble slowly to the border. Actually, a string of “get high responsibly & feed yourself at Taco Bell” ads would be really really funny… or a play on the medical/medicinal angle. Health food to go with your special green medicine & help with that nasty glaucoma?
Do you feel like Taco Bell knows what they’re doing, or do you think it’s a string of coincidence?
Are they advertising to stoners and dirty pot smoking hippies (I use that term with affection), or am I thinking too much?
Would you drive 900 miles for a Dorito shell taco? Would you do it if Taco Bell footed the bill? Have you tried one? Did you like it?
Do you get late night munchies? Do you enjoy a fourth meal? Are you a dirty pot smoking hippie? Do you work at Taco Bell’s ad agency?
One of the cool things about the site is that they occasionally feature guest blogs, and I was invited to send one in… so I did! Check it out, and maybe even comment when you’re over there. Take some time to poke around.
So they intend to silence the great Jalapeño with a free sample or some coupons? Perhaps with just their word? I have not received a reply to the tweet yet… and I’m not sure how they would send a supply of Bronco Berry Sauce as I don’t think Bronco Jalapeño has an address… unless they know that I am Bronco Jalapeño… (which isn’t too hard to figure out) but then again I don’t remember if I provided my address in their contact form, and they haven’t reached out to ask me for it.
On the other hand, I received this email…
From: “firstname.lastname@example.org” <email@example.com> To: firstname.lastname@example.org Sent: Tuesday, March 27, 2012 10:20 AM Subject: Customer Feedback #474233
Dear Mr. Carroll,
Thank you for your comments regarding our Bronco Berry Sauce. Our customer’s input and comments are always welcome and very important to us. We use this information to guide the decisions we make about our brand and our products. We have shared your comments with our Menu and Product Development team for future consideration. Also, Bronco Berry sauce is not available for retail sale.
If you have any additional questions you can give us a call at 800-599-2729.
Thank you again.
Arby’s Customer Relations
Allow me to translate a few key lines…
No hat is too big for Bronco Jalapeño!
“We have shared your comments with our Menu and Product Development team for future consideration.” means a couple of things:
“We’ve shared your comments” means that it’s off of their collective customer service desk, so they consider the issue resolved, and can blame any further lack of progress or answers solely on the “Menu and Product Development team.”
“For future consideration” means I won’t get a reply from them either, and this will most likely go ignored, completely negating the statements “Our customer’s input and comments are always welcome and very important to us. We use this information to guide the decisions we make about our brand and our products.”
Perhaps I’m too cynical.
“Also, Bronco Berry sauce is not available for retail sale” means “too bad for you!”