My guitars have been rated and roasted! 🔥🎸🔥

Well, some of them anyway. Anyone watch Ryan “Fluff” Bruce‘s channel Riffs, Beards, & Gear on YouTube? He does some really cool stuff outside of normal reviews & unboxing, including tearing apart Reverb listings & a Rate or Roast My Rig feature. I don’t watch a whole lot of guitar YouTubers, but Fluff and the “Why This Song Stinks” guy, Pat Finnerty, are the best. See if you agree with Fluff’s rating out of 5 possible beards.

I believe Terry (Lobby Boys Podcast) & Dave (Nothing But Stars Inside) encouraged me to submit some of my gear to RateOrRoast@Gmail.com. It must have caught Fluff’s eye because, I made it into Episode 48. I’m rig 5 at the 6:11 mark, but just watch the whole damn thing, then check out more of them. Ha ha.

I tried to pick the most odd & attention grabbing of my herd. Do you think I missed the boat by not including some of my other notable oddballs? He didn’t even mention the amps or pedals. Ha ha.

Shout-out to my peeps at Actual Ugly Guitars! It’s a Facebook group focused on looking for guitars ranging from the weirdest of the weird to just pure abominations with strings and sometimes even frets. If you’re gonna join, answer the questions or you won’t get in.

Here’s a rundown of what’s pictured if you’re interested:

• Guitars:
  • Glen Burton GB2009-RWB ● [Video 1 | Video 2]
  • Galveston B.B. Stone ● [Blog Post | Video 1 | Facebook Fan Page]
  • IndyCustom FlyCaster ● [Blog Post | Video | Facebook Fan Page]
  • Russ Lorenz Shitar ● [Blog Post | Video]
  • AliExpress copy of Doyle’s Annihilator ● [Blog Post 1 | Blog Post 2 | Video 1 | Video 2 | Facebook Fan Group]
  • Dewey Decibel FlipOut ● [Blog Post | Video 1 | Video 2 | Video 3 | Facebook Fan Page]
  • Six Flags Batman Logo ● [Blog Post 1 | Blog Post 2 | Video]
• Pedals:
  • Planet Waves PW-CT-04 Chromatic Tuner
  • LiveWire Solutions ABY1 A/B/Y Box
  • DigiTech Trio & SF3X Footswitch
  • Quinnamp Dirt & Ernie ● [Video (Not Mine)]
  • Ammoon POCK LOOP Looper
  • Ernie Ball 6185 Wah
• Amps n’ Cabs:
  • Fender Blues Jr. (Yes, it’s surf green.)
  • Orange Micro Terror
  • Laney GS212IE 2×12 cab
  • Positive Grid Spark
  • Yamaha MSR100 Powered Speaker
  • Lil Smokey
• Picks:
  • Dunlop Tortex 1.14mm Fin (Purple)
  • Dunlop Nylon 1.07mm Fin (Black)

Click the links on the guitar names to go to my Instagram posts where I posted all my axes at the beginning of the Covid shutdowns. You can check out most of them (& more) at Posting #AllMyAxes. 🎸 (Part 1) & Posting #AllMyAxes. 🎸 (Part 2) too. I posted all of them individually and some fun group shots & extras under the #AllMyAxes hashtag on Instagram.

If not rocking the Spark for practice or jamming along to YouTube or the built-in drummers, I like to rock a guitar through the tuner then into the A/B/Y into both the Blues Jr. and the Micro Terror through the Laney. Sometimes I put the wah up front, or sometimes on just one amp. I had a Dunlop CryBaby for years, then once I heard the “tone-suck” even when it was off, I couldn’t un-hear it. Same with the Dirt & Ernie… sometimes I just use it as a boost. It will come in handy if I ever get back to live stuff. My “sound” is pretty much gain on 10 master volume on 2 through both amps because I love the sound of the overdriven amps, so I don’t really need to add much dirt. If I set up the Trio, I run the “band” out to the PA so drums & bass come out of that nice & clean instead of one of (or both of) my amps. I am terrible with the POCK LOOP looper. The Lil’ Smokey is also a ton of fun, and I have used to to drive a 4×12. I think I need simpler one or more patience. Maybe both.

So, that’s my setup. Yes, I do play these guitars. Yes, they’re all playable. (I have a go-to guitar guy that is like a guitar-whisperer.) Yes, I have gigged & even recorded with some of them and would gig with all of them.

Which ones do you dig or hate the most? Got any oddballs you want to share? Hit me up with some comments!

★🤘★

Fight Fire With Fire

This is how I have been responding to spam lately.

The original:

From: Onain onainreddy@aol.com
Date: 2/5/21 7:27 AM (GMT-05:00)
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Subject: Why Not Host your Web Site With Us!

Hi world,

“You can get a premium look on your website with a minimum effort.”

If you are looking for the new website design, then please share your requirements or a reference website if possible so that we could discuss your requirements further.

Looking forward to hearing your valuable response.

Thanks!

Onain

My Reply:

From: “world.and.lunar.domination” world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Date: 2/5/21 4:09 PM (GMT-05:00)
To: Onain onainreddy@aol.com
Subject: RE: Why Not Host your Web Site With Us!

Hello Onain!

Do you like coffee or tea? You definitely need an A-Maze Mug! It really goes well with any warm beverage like hot chocolate or apple cider.

https://ci3apparel.bigcartel.com/product/a-maze-mug

Please, buy one or two today!

Cheers,

– @AiXeLsyD13

PS – My phone tried to autocorrect you to Onion and Orion. Onain the Orion Onion would make a great children’s book. Perhaps being an author would be more profitable that writing spam emails?

Would you like to buy an A-Maze Mug?

Merry Christmas 2020 – From the Carroll Family!

Our church put out a call for video submissions for the Christmas Eve streaming service. Here is what we contributed.

I threw it together into one video and added some cheesy effects and titles.

This is…

• The Christmas Carrolls performing “Away in a Manger”
• Molly reading The First Christmas Night by Keith Christopher
• Ian doing some prayers on the fly – take 1 & take 2. (We only sent take 2 to the church.)

Check out live & archived videos from the church here: https://www.facebook.com/hillschurchexport/live

Guitar-Related Facebook Forum Bingo!

Back in the day, I used to go to websites, message boards, chat rooms, or forums, & blogs. Now it’s mostly Facebook groups.

I’m a simple man. When not enjoying real-life things like family time, noodling poorly on the guitar, drawing mazes, or watching some funny or sci-fi-ish stuff on the TV, I enjoy reading things on the internet. This would include subjects like guitars, gear, guitars, music, Star Wars, guitars, guitars, and surprisingly enough …Guitars.

https://guitarsquid.com/flowchart-do-you-have-too-many-guitars/

Picking up a theme? I’m in some guitar groups of varying purpose, from celebrating the instrument in general, to celebrating ugly ones, celebrating cheap ones, celebrating unique ones, alternating between building camaraderie or trolling between fellow guitarists, and making fun off bass players & drummers. I may have G.A.S. – It’s gotta be a real thing.

After a while, you start to notice a repetitive pattern of seemingly-canned responses.

At first, I thought of a drinking game. But, I’m too old for that, and I’m currently on antibiotics. Ha ha.

Bingo then? I made two crude BINGO cards with some free online help from My Free Bingo Cards and Bingo Baker,

It may seem light a slight, but it’s not. I’m in there. I have said the thigs. I have typed the things. I have read the things. I have heard the things. We all have a common interest. This is a celebration of you, & us. 🍻

How quickly could you get a line, or even fill up the card?

What responses have I missed?

Please, elaborate in the comments.

• 

• 

GUITAR BINGO!

What would go on your Bingo card or cause you to take a drink?

What do I need to add to my pin boards?

I would love to hear what you have to add.

What are your favorite places to discuss and ogle guitars on Facebook or online in general? You can even share some of your favorite guitar photos or memes in the comments.

You may want to take a look at the Guitars & My Guitars categories here at the blog.

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A post shared by Eric Carroll (@aixelsyd13)

They said the thing!

OK, they didn’t say that thing. But, I made this and thought it was funny.

The Mandalorian so far has indeed made some great call-backs lo lines from other Star Wars properties.

What are your favorite?

What do you hope to see?

Gimme a few haiku

It’s important to stay creative and have multiple creative outlets.

Drop me some absurd haiku in the comments.

A haiku for animal lovers and fans of general chaos:

— 𝙰𝚒𝚇𝚎𝙻𝚜𝚢𝙳⑬🎸 (@AiXeLsyD13) November 10, 2020

Dog eats the cat food.
Then, cat dines upon dog food.
Anarchy meal time.

— 𝙰𝚒𝚇𝚎𝙻𝚜𝚢𝙳⑬🎸 (@AiXeLsyD13) November 10, 2020

Feline gargoyle,
Perched high atop the couch arm.
Waits to strike canine.

— 𝙰𝚒𝚇𝚎𝙻𝚜𝚢𝙳⑬🎸 (@AiXeLsyD13) November 10, 2020

Canine unaware,
Blissfully chases her toy.
Feline plots attack.

— 𝙰𝚒𝚇𝚎𝙻𝚜𝚢𝙳⑬🎸 (@AiXeLsyD13) November 10, 2020

Cat surprised,
Cat forced to rethink size gap.
Dog is quite large.

— 𝙰𝚒𝚇𝚎𝙻𝚜𝚢𝙳⑬🎸 (@AiXeLsyD13) November 10, 2020

The Family Decorating Game

For years, I have teased my wife about a habit I have noticed when we are setting out seasonal decorations. It happened at the apartment where we first cohabitated, it happens at our house now. It happened long before our children were in the picture. She cannot leave anything that I put in place stay where I put it. I put it on the left of a shelf, she moves it to the right. I put it on the wall-shelf, she puts it on the Victrola.

I had to go out for work in the afternoon today, but I set the kids on a path of chaos this morning before I left. My daughter was excited to put out fall decorations. I told her to watch because Mommy moves every decoration that I set out. Then a light bulb went off in my head.

I told her to get a white board for herself, and a white board for her brother, and mark down a point every time they set out a decoration and mommy moves it.

The winner gets to move one of the decorations that Mommy places!

Apparently shenanigans ensued while I was at work. I think it will be a new holiday/seasonal event.

Do you have someone in the house that moves decorations?

Do you have any fun decorating traditions?

Let us know in the comments.

Patience is a virtue. Totino’s pushes the boundaries of scientific research thanks to me.

“arrange the rolls in a circle on a plate”

Oh man.  Does anyone remember my W(aL)D email shenanigans from a decade ago?

One such adventure was writing to Totino’s to ask if they had recommendations for microwaving more than 6 at a time.  They wrote back.  I asked them if I needed to arrange the rolls like wagon wheel spokes or like wagons on the Oregon Trail circling for protection.  I even got some 35¢ coupons that I considered as a research grant.

Have you noticed pizza roll cooking instructions lately?

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Remember when I wrote to @totinos and asked them for instructions on microwaving more than 6 pizza rolls at a time? https://wp.me/pwqzc-70 You're welcome. Here I am, pushing scientific research and innovation. 🧪🧫🔬⚙⚛🍕

A post shared by Eric Carroll (@aixelsyd13) on Feb 9, 2020 at 9:01am PST

I won! Information for the people! Research to benefit the masses!

Really though.  This brings up a new series of questions.

When did just arranging in “a single layer become” acceptable?  Who does Totino’s think they are discarding the time-honored tradition of microwaving things in a circle?  Did we learn nothing from our ancestors at Stonehenge?  Did they consult the Softstix team over at SuperPretzel, or just roll forward (pun still intended) with wild abandon?  How do you summon the flavor spirits without the ceremonial circle?

Has the Fibonacci spiral ever been tested as a cooking pattern?  Can Ci3 make me a plate specifically for microwaving pizza rolls and little cheese-filled pretzels with the Fibonacci spiral on it?

P is for Potato. 🥔

This is mainly a re-post/revision of a Facebook status.  I’m still in awe, even a few days later.

You probably read about it, saw it, or heard it in WTAE, WPXI, or KDKA.  You may have even seen it somewhere else.  This woman (in a feat worthy of “Florida Man”) walked into a Walmart to relieve herself.  The problem with that is that she did it not only in the produce section, but on some produce.  Potatoes.  I personally like my potatoes mashed, not micturated.

I have so many thoughts about this.

The BEST part is that Walmart✻ had to release a statement assuring that they threw out the produce and disinfected the area. I mean, silly of me to assume that would be the case.

I have seen some Walmart bathrooms, and I may have supported this choice in this instance. They also close for “cleaning” often.

She doesn’t remember doing it? How did she find out? Did she see herself on Facebook? Did someone call and tell her? There needs to be a TV show that reenacts such shenanigans.  (Sounds like she saw herself on TV.  Imagine going to get a haircut, then calling the lawyer, then going to the police.  Or maybe the lawyer prompted the haircut?)

How do you overcome “stagefright?” I like to pee alone, not in public.

I want a T-shirt with her picture in the middle of the Walmart star logo with the caption “I put the P in potato!”

Grace Under (Bladder) Pressure

I hope she didn’t drive to or from the Walmart.

I have been drunk, but never blackout drunk.  I’m in awe.  I wonder if in 2019 she can turn this into becoming a social media celebrity?

I hope she gets whatever ind of help she needs, and I hope no one bought the pee-tatoes unknowingly.  Although, they may grow in poop… So, there is that.  I would definitely advise her to have a trusted friend or handler with her at all times while drinking.  I can’t imagine having to deal with the aftermath.

I remember posting a video on the now-defunct PittsburghBeat.com one time about this naked dude who while high on PCP after running from a stripper’s house ran across the divided highway on Banksville Road and ended up being tasered (again, while naked) by police and taken to the extremely cold ground in the snow.  Months or years later, the guy sent an email asking for it to be taken down so he could move on with life.  It mentioned but didn’t really threaten legal action.  After all, it was a news story I dunno how you  could “scrub” it.  But, I can see the whole thing not boding well if a prospective employer were to Google you before hiring.

She may be a queen on People of Walmart.

This reminded me of an R. Kelly meme, and a song:

The only other song I remember about pee is an AiXeLsyD one, and I can’t shamelessly self promote something that is probably less embarrassing that peeing on potatoes in Walmart, can they?

Here are potatoes from my garden this year, no one has peed on them:

View this post on Instagram

Well, the potato plants died… but there were a large amound of potatoes under that dirt! The frow bags did well, but the ones from the tire are about the size of my fist. I think we did good for our first potato crop? Do the plants just naturally die off? Is there a way to tell of the potato is mature enough or ripe enough or whatever? No green spots, nothing weird looking. There's thin skin, but they are #YukonGold so they look roght, just big. Now, how do I store them? #🌱 #potatoes #potato #VegetableGardening #GardeningForKids #🥔

A post shared by Eric Carroll (@aixelsyd13) on Aug 3, 2019 at 12:53pm PDT

In parting, I call for your comments.  Please share your favorite potato recipes (like this or this), your favorite drinking stories, or your favorite pee/Grace Brown/Walmart/Potatoes jokes.

Google Photos is awesome/creepy with these videos it made & sent to me automatically…

Fascinating.

So, Google Photos made two of these video clip compilations all by itself, then it let me know in the photos app. One was for Molly, and one was for Ian.

HOW DOES IT KNOW?

Are these algorithms? Facial Recognition? Time, date, & location stamps?  Did it use the videos from my phone, or the online backups?

This is so awesome, cute, and creepy.

These videos give me all the feels.

For those who noticed I didn’t blog very often for a while, all this was happening. It’s incredible to look back on it all.

I wish I could tweak some of the clips just a tiny bit to include some better little funny moments, but whatever made this did a pretty damn good job.

As amazing as this is, and how cool it is that it reminds me of the make-a-grown-man-cry Dear-Sophie Google Chrome commercial, it’s a bit weird.  Are we in the future?  How does it do what it does?

I may find a simple answer after a Google search.  Does Google let you learn all about Google?  Does anyone use Google+?

Your Friendly Binary Overlord

Seriously though, they do grow up so fast.  Thank you for the reminder, Google Photos.