Last night we were watching the end of Empire Strikes Back on TV when the kids & I got home from a trip to Target. Molly was full of questions, including but not limited to;
☆ What happens if he gets hit by those pewers?
☆ Why does he have a pewer?
What are those pewer things called?
☆ Why are they blasters?
☆ I called them pewers because I didn’t know what they were called. They sound like “pew pew.”
☆ Why is C-3PO in a net?
☆ Why does he have a lightsaber too?
☆ Why is it blue?
☆ Does Darth Vader have a pewer?
☆ Why is a lightsaber more civilized?
☆ Why did they freeze him?
☆ Where are they taking him?
☆ Why does he owe Jabba the Hutt Money?
☆ Boba Fett is a good guy. Is Boba Fett a good guy?
☆ How does he fight without his hand?
☆ Why is Darth Vader a bad guy?
☆ Why is Chewbacca choking that guy?
☆ Why is R2-D2 smoking?
☆ Why is C-3PO holding his leg?
☆ Where is Chewbacca going?
☆ Why are there animals and people and robots all together?
☆ What is that place?
☆ But what part of Cloud City are they in?
☆ Why is there a big hole to fall down?
☆ Where does it go?
☆ Why is there a slide there?
☆ It’s a good thing that bridge is there. Why is that bridge there?
Ian calls Darth Vader “Tai Tai” or “Kai Kai” and we have no idea why. He was also excited to see “Bobo Baba” (Boba Fett) and “Doot Doot” (R2-D2).
He weaseled his way back downstairs later to manage to catch some Ewok (“Weeewok”) action in Return of the Jedi. Ha ha.
…and check out this incredible entire live show! Apparently all these cats ever left was one EP & a handful of performances. Their guitars have so many strings, it takes 12 parsecs for any non-force user to make their way across the fretboard.
I did download all I could form MySpace, but all I could get of some of the stuff was some snippets of songs. Their interpretations are proggy, masterful, eerie, and dark. I would love to get my hands on the EP.
Obviously, these scruffy-looking Nerf Herders rock too. The costumes and video production are all-out. The metal seems happier if that’s even a thing. They used kickstarter to fund their eventual takeover of the galaxy. Galactic credits go far with the Empire. I’m anxious for their full-length album, too.
It looks like of the two, these guys are the only ones currently in existence.
Vote for Your Favorite:
I would love to see a fan mix of the movies using either of these guys to score the entire thing. I don’t think Disney would go for it, unless like Darth Lucas they realize they can make more money by selling the movies again to the same people that already own all possible formats & variations.
One thing people seem to be good at is arguing over texts. We can argue different points about the same information. How many interpretations are there for the constitution? And that’s just one language. Hit up the Torah, Bible, or Koran that’s been translated into different languages a few times and it’s absolute chaos. People seem to focus on minutiae instead of the big picture.
I can easily imagine a post-apocalyptic dystopian future where the Star Wars films have become the basis for religion. People will subscribe to their own versions of the Jedi and Sith philosophies and have an overall high regard for the force. Some people will say it’s all fiction. Magicians will use levitation and spoon-bending illusions to “prove” that the force is real.
I can imagine sects breaking out of each group of trilogies, finding their own interpretations of the overall themes to be the only correct way to see things.
Some will say Anakin/Vader brought balance to the force. Some will say it was Luke. Some may focus on the new characters to come. Some cults will say you have to go to the dark side before you can be redeemed by the light and that is the only true path to Jedi salvation.
Some will argue that the original films unedited are the only true word. Some will argue that the standalone films and animated series are like the apocrypha, and can’t be true canon.
Monasteries will open and instead of vows of silence, they will talk like Yoda.
Books will be written trying to prove that the holiday special did in fact exist.
People will kill each other arguing over who shot first.
I think you now have a script for Idiocracy 2: Idiocracier.