P is for Potato. 🥔


This is mainly a re-post/revision of a Facebook status.  I’m still in awe, even a few days later.

You probably read about it, saw it, or heard it in WTAE, WPXI, or KDKA.  You may have even seen it somewhere else.  This woman (in a feat worthy of “Florida Man”) walked into a Walmart to relieve herself.  The problem with that is that she did it not only in the produce section, but on some producePotatoes.  I personally like my potatoes mashed, not micturated.

I have so many thoughts about this.

The BEST part is that Walmart had to release a statement assuring that they threw out the produce and disinfected the area. I mean, silly of me to assume that would be the case.

I have seen some Walmart bathrooms, and I may have supported this choice in this instance. They also close for “cleaning” often.

She doesn’t remember doing it? How did she find out? Did she see herself on Facebook? Did someone call and tell her? There needs to be a TV show that reenacts such shenanigans.  (Sounds like she saw herself on TV.  Imagine going to get a haircut, then calling the lawyer, then going to the police.  Or maybe the lawyer prompted the haircut?)

How do you overcome “stagefright?” I like to pee alone, not in public.

I want a T-shirt with her picture in the middle of the Walmart star logo with the caption “I put the P in potato!”

We put the P in potato!

Grace Under (Bladder) Pressure

I hope she didn’t drive to or from the Walmart.

I have been drunk, but never blackout drunk.  I’m in awe.  I wonder if in 2019 she can turn this into becoming a social media celebrity?

I hope she gets whatever ind of help she needs, and I hope no one bought the pee-tatoes unknowingly.  Although, they may grow in poop… So, there is that.  I would definitely advise her to have a trusted friend or handler with her at all times while drinking.  I can’t imagine having to deal with the aftermath.

I remember posting a video on the now-defunct PittsburghBeat.com one time about this naked dude who while high on PCP after running from a stripper’s house ran across the divided highway on Banksville Road and ended up being tasered (again, while naked) by police and taken to the extremely cold ground in the snow.  Months or years later, the guy sent an email asking for it to be taken down so he could move on with life.  It mentioned but didn’t really threaten legal action.  After all, it was a news story I dunno how you  could “scrub” it.  But, I can see the whole thing not boding well if a prospective employer were to Google you before hiring.

She may be a queen on People of Walmart.

This reminded me of an R. Kelly meme, and a song:

Walmart✻ saving Potatoes from Grace Brown

The only other song I remember about pee is an AiXeLsyD one, and I can’t shamelessly self promote something that is probably less embarrassing that peeing on potatoes in Walmart, can they?

Here are potatoes from my garden this year, no one has peed on them:

In parting, I call for your comments.  Please share your favorite potato recipes (like this or this), your favorite drinking stories, or your favorite pee/Grace Brown/Walmart/Potatoes jokes.

The Three Amigators? 🏙🐊🌁


So I think someone, probably most likely the zoo, missed a huge opportunity to house and name 3 recently liberated alligators in Pittsburgh’s South Hills.

The three alligators were recently released into the wilds of the urban jungle by some wildly intelligent human(s?) on the South Side, in Beechview, and in Carrick.

I confess I haven’t even read all the stories. Who needs facts when you have Facebook comments?

I’m sure KDKA, WTAE, & WPXI glossed over the hard-hitting facts and went right for speculation and didn’t sensationalize or fearmonger at all like they do every time we get a drop of rain. I did see a link to a recap, but there was a video and ain’t nobody got time for that. Looks like the Humane Society took care of these things and got them to a Sanctuary.

These three amigos, or Amigators if you will, should have been named Alleghator, Monogagator, & Ohiodile and been given their own small replica of the point to swim around in. I mean, they could play in the fountain, sunbathe in a stadium, and even ride a mini-incline.

Yes, I know alligators and crocodiles are entirely unrelated. Shh. Don’t ruin it.

Concept Art for Three Amigators Enclosure

Concept Art for Three Amigators Enclosure

…And Out Comes the Dookie.


...And Out Comes The Dookie

…And Out Comes The Dookie

It’s a new social media game.

Combine two albums you dig into one… just like some record executive or intern did once upon a time with Use Your Illusion I and Use Your Illusion II, combining the “best” tracks of each to make one pointless album.

I would suggest that you do two albums.  It can be different artists or the same.

If you want to be crazy try to keep the run time to a “real” album length.  I think Records hold 44 minutes of music and CD’s 74 or so?  About an hour would be good.

You can keep the artists separate like a split, or mix it all up.

Hell, you can combine 3 or more albums.  I am a fan of anarchy.  Just play.  Here in the comments, or online.  Use PicsArt or something similar to make an album cover if so inclined.

You can explain why you chose the tracks, or just let the mix speak for itself.

Just play.  Spread it.  Have fun.

We used to do stuff sort of like this on PittsburghBeat.com.

Here’s my fist offering; Rancid’s …And Out Come The Wolves mashed with Green Day’s Dookie;

01. Rancid “Maxwell Murder”
02. Green Day “Longview”
03. Rancid “Roots Radicals”
04. Green Day “Welcome to Paradise”
05. Rancid “Time Bomb”
06. Green Day “Pulling Teeth”
07. Rancid “Olympia WA.”
08. Green Day “Basket Case”
09. Rancid “Lock, Step & Gone”
10. Green Day “She”
11. Rancid “Ruby Soho”
12. Green Day “When I Come Around”
13. Rancid “Journey to the End of the East Bay”
14. Green Day “Emenius Sleepus”
15. Rancid “She’s Automatic”
16. Green Day “In the End”
17. Rancid “Old Friend”
18. Green Day “F.O.D.”
19. Rancid “As Wicked”
20. Green Day “All by Myself”

I sort of mixed up the tracks because why not? They do appear in album order.  The run time is just over 50 minutes. (Thanks Wikipedia & Google Sheets.)

Now, you do one.  Encourage others.  Show me what ya got.  I feel like I sort of did this once before already.

Easy Guitar Chord Tools?


So, every once in a while, these gadgets pop up on Facebook guitar discussion groups.  You get a lot of people poking fun, you get some support.  I had to break it all down.  It’s easy to hate, but some of these may ignite a spark and only be training wheels.  Some of these may enable people with physical or mental disabilities to play some music.  Who should be denied artistic creativity?

 

Chord Buddy, ChorDelia, E-Z Chord, Ez-Fret, WESOLO

Guitar Chord Assistance / Learning Systems

 

Check out all the stats I could find & compile on the Chord Buddy, E-Z Chord, Ez-Fret, & WESOLO Guitar Learning System.

Check out all the details, embedded below:

 

 

Or, check out the full sheet here.  I have websites, prices, lists of chords, and even videos where I could find them.

There is a wide variety of options.  If you can fill in any of the blanks, that would be killer.  If you know of any other similar systems, I could certainly add them.

This doesn’t even touch the Guitar Barre or Hammer Jammer.

 

♪♫♬ 🎸 ♪♫♬

 

On a personal blogging note or two;  I need to update my guitar wish list (and the older list).  The wife got me a BOHO for my birthday!  I have been drawing more mazes.  I may have more time to blog coming up.  I should post some of the mazes.  Someone named Hope recently posted a solution to an old maze in the comments! That makes me super happy.  I’m glad someone enjoys them!

I know I have been bad at blogging.  Life got crazy busy as it does.  I do hope to blog more, not sure if many people read it… but it is fun.  Hopefully if you feel the need, you can keep up with me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.

 

So, I set up a living room rig. 🎸


This morning I felt like playing the guitar. I didn’t feel like jamming in the basement by my work bench where all my stuff is set up. I didn’t bring up the Laney 2×12 or the Orange Micro Terror. I brought out the Fender Blues Jr. & a Yamaha MSR100 powered speaker so I could run my new DigiTech Trio into two different outputs.

The Trio was a birthday present from my wife. It was on backorder from Sweetwater for a while & we have been really busy so this was my first chance to try it out.  I set it up like this…

Living Room Rig Setup

It started out as a pile of stuff in the corner.  Then I remembered that I had an old RCA-Victor TV cabinet in the garage purchased from our house’s previous owner that I thought about turning into an amp someday.  The Blues Jr. fit where the TV went, and the Yamaha PA fit underneath where the speaker grille is.

Then I had a cabinet and I pile of pedals.  So, I cut up a milk crate and made a goofy pedal board with a Donner power supply & some zip ties.  The “board” fits inside the cabinet with the blues Jr. too.  It was a morning long project but it felt good to get it done & know I can jam a lot more easily.  It may be tricky if I just want to use the Trio & some headphones.

I do have a Dirt & Ernie pedal & an A/B/Y that I use to run the Jr. & Micro Terror at the same time.  Maybe a board extension will eventually be in order?  How cool would it be if the doors came off & were the pedalboard?

Oh well.  Enough monkeying.  Time to jam.

I will eventually have to give a serious(?) evaluation of the Trio.  I do already know I want a looper now.  Ha ha.  It was pretty intuitive & loads of right out of the box.  My 4 year old told me to turn it down right away, so it had to be cool.  Right?

 

Monkeying with the DigiTech Trio:

I apologize for the “living room while the wife and kids are home” volume, and the Crocs.

 

My little dude seemed to like the idea.  He has all the moves down.  Maybe some day he will want to play too!

Do you have a living room, bedroom, or other small setup rig?  Share some in the comments!  Any thoughts on any of this equipment?  Any tips for the Trio?  You can comment below here at the blog with WordPress, Facebook, Twitter, or a Gravatar login.

Guitars & Virtual Window Shopping 🎸


Is there a word for the internet version of window-shopping?  I certainly have enough guitars.  I really dig my oddball collection.  But, I’m always looking.  I made a wishlist before, so I thought I’d update it.  Of course, this list is subject to change by the minute, and like a rodent with shiny objects I can be easily distracted.

 

-🤘🎸🤘-

 

Traveler Guitar TravelcasterTraveler Guitar Travelcaster – It’s no secret that I dig weird guitars.  This is pretty neat.  I love the idea, even if ESP had it first.  Supposedly, the ESP ones were only made & sold in Japan.  The Traveler  Travelcasters look pretty snazzy, and Traveler makes some other really cool stuff.  I bet it really would be useful in a travel capacity, & provide some fun on stage.  I see these ads constantly.

BOHOBohemian Guitars Oil Can Guitar – Who doesn’t want one?  It’s like a cigar box guitar cranked up to 11.  They look like a ton of fun, and they’re not really all that expensive.  These Boho axes are real attention grabbers.  I also see these ads constantly.  The reviews appear to be fanrastic.

Millennium Falcon GuitarA Millennium Falcon Guitar – There have been various builders to create this to varying degrees of success.  I’d love to get my scruffy nerf-herding paws on one.  I even blogged about it before (check the comments).  You know I have an appreciation of weird guitars and of Star Wars, so this is a natural.  Bonus if it includes lights and sounds!

Peavey T-60Peavey T-60 – These Peaveys seem like a sort of underground or unspoken holy grail, especially if you get the amp in a case.  The T-30 and T-15 look cool to, but I dig humbuckers. so 60 may be the way to go.  Hell, a Peavey Mantis would kick some butt too.

Gibson Reverse Flying VGibson Reverse Flying V – I mean, I already have a Dewey Decibel FlipOut, so why not continue the trend?  This one will probably never happen unless I win the lottery.  I like my guitars cheap, and this one is not cheap.  Epiphone, how about a limited run here?  The hate for it online alone drives my want for it.

Archer Flying Cheese WedgeArcher Flying Cheese Wedge – This thing is absolutely ridiculous.  I love it.  If I ever found a cheap one, I would pounce.  I mean, CHEESE.  Who doesn’t like cheese (besides the lactose intolerant)?  I think it has something to do with Wisconsin sportsball.  I just like cheese.  A lot.

Hello Kitty Squier StratocasterHello Kitty Squier Stratocaster – This is another gem sought after by a bunch of weirdos. The quality is the stuff of legend if you can snag it for the right price.  They were cheap for a bit until someone let out the secret they they’re no joke.

Dean ML Acoustic, Kramer Imperial aXAcoustic ExplorerKramer made one, Dean sort of makes one.  They are so ridiculous.  I may settle for a Flying V one. Ha ha.  Even the little ukes may satisfy this yearning.

Esteban Midnight LegacyEsteban Midnight Legacy Electric Guitar – These were going for $75-ish online for a bit, then they jumped up.  Strat pickup configuration on a Les Paul shape?  All black?  “E” shaped headstock?  Sign me up!

Gianni Doubleneck SG/Telecaster HybridGianni SG/Tele-style doubleneck – As with Bigfoot, some people refuse to believe that these even exist.  The cries of “fake” and “photoshopped” abound with this type of axe online.  It is ridiculous.  Really, I don’t have a double-neck.  I need one, right?  I do have a 12 string… so a 6/12 would be boring.  I would love to get one of these and make one neck a baritone or Bass VI scale.  I mean, this is cool too if we’re getting really weird.

Wylde Audio Warhammer, Dean Split Tail, Gibson ZVOne of those goofy Zakk Wylde guitars – Any of the trifecta of insanity will do.  The Gibson ZV, the Dean Split Tail, and the Wylde Audio Warhammer are all sort of the same shape.  I don’t know the story behind the jumps from manufacturers, and I don’t really care.  They are so metal, it hurts.  I play so poorly for metal, it hurts.  So, it’s a natural fit of pain.  Right?  Right?  This may have trumped my old longing for a Transparent Green Lucite BC Rich.

Xaviere 550SCE_BKXaviere RTS_550SCE_BK Dreadnaught – This is all cosmetic.  I just really dig the look.  Plus, I really dig Guitar Fetish.  I might even sell the 12-string to get this.  Maybe?  Anyone heard anything about the quality?  I really like the look and sort of want to jump before they’re gone.  I mean, if I sell the 12-string… that opens up my double-neck options.  Right?

 

-🤘🎸🤘-

 

What’ on your list?  Gimme something awesome in the comments, bonus points for sub-$300-ish.  What haven’t I heard of yet?  What am I forgetting?  What need to I need to meet or gap do I need to fill?  What is your holy grail guitar?  Post some photo or links too!

 

Google Photos is awesome/creepy with these videos it made & sent to me automatically…


Fascinating.

So, Google Photos made two of these video clip compilations all by itself, then it let me know in the photos app. One was for Molly, and one was for Ian.

HOW DOES IT KNOW?

Are these algorithms? Facial Recognition? Time, date, & location stamps?  Did it use the videos from my phone, or the online backups?

This is so awesome, cute, and creepy.

These videos give me all the feels.

For those who noticed I didn’t blog very often for a while, all this was happening. It’s incredible to look back on it all.

I wish I could tweak some of the clips just a tiny bit to include some better little funny moments, but whatever made this did a pretty damn good job.

As amazing as this is, and how cool it is that it reminds me of the make-a-grown-man-cry Dear-Sophie Google Chrome commercial, it’s a bit weird.  Are we in the future?  How does it do what it does?

I may find a simple answer after a Google search.  Does Google let you learn all about Google?  Does anyone use Google+?

Google Photos

Your Friendly Binary Overlord

Seriously though, they do grow up so fast.  Thank you for the reminder, Google Photos.