Fight Fire With Fire


This is how I have been responding to spam lately.

The original:

From: Onain onainreddy@aol.com
Date: 2/5/21 7:27 AM (GMT-05:00)
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Subject: Why Not Host your Web Site With Us!

Hi world,

“You can get a premium look on your website with a minimum effort.”

If you are looking for the new website design, then please share your requirements or a reference website if possible so that we could discuss your requirements further.

Looking forward to hearing your valuable response.

Thanks!

Onain

My Reply:

From: “world.and.lunar.domination” world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Date: 2/5/21 4:09 PM (GMT-05:00)
To: Onain onainreddy@aol.com
Subject: RE: Why Not Host your Web Site With Us!

Hello Onain!

Do you like coffee or tea? You definitely need an A-Maze Mug! It really goes well with any warm beverage like hot chocolate or apple cider.

https://ci3apparel.bigcartel.com/product/a-maze-mug

Please, buy one or two today!

Cheers,

– @AiXeLsyD13

PS – My phone tried to autocorrect you to Onion and Orion. Onain the Orion Onion would make a great children’s book. Perhaps being an author would be more profitable that writing spam emails?

Would you like to buy an A-Maze Mug?

Saturday December 17th – A punk rock party at the Fallout Shelter!


Reposted from ErnieAndTheBerts.com – A punk rock show to melt your face:

Insanity. Chaos. Deafening yet hooky melodies. Beer.  If these all seem like good things to you, you need to be at this show.  Add this to your Google calendar, Yahoo! Calendar, Facebook Events, or whatever you do with Google+ or AOL or MSN or Compuserve or Outlook or whatever you’re using.  Tweet about it.  Get a car full of idiots and find a non-idiot DD.

Ernie would like to remind you to drink responsibly, tip your bartender, buy some of the various bands’ merchandise, and to wash your hands before returning to work or play.

Get the flyer below tattooed on someone’s ass that you see frequently, so you don’t forget.

The Bands:

The Place:

The Details:

Ernie's twin brother

Chat.


No, I don’t want to chat.

Google’s Chat or G-talk is integrated into the mail inbox, over to the left.  It’s in about the same spot with Google+.

Yahoo‘s chat/messenger is integrated into their mail service &the only chat/add requests I ever get are super spammy.  (They’re also annoyingly getting rid of the “Updates” tab/pages which I’m sure not many will miss… but it was a way for me to read Facebook & Twitter at the same time.)

The latest Facebook outlet puts the chat right on up there.  I have my chat status set to away or always off or whatever it is… but it’s easily fat-fingered back into “hey chat with me” mode.

When I set up Ubuntu on a laptop, I setup something that acts like an instant messenger with tweets that are “@” me, and I think I can Tweet or Update Facebook from it.  It was cool for about 5 minutes.

I don’t want to chat.

We can talk back & forth via our Facebook pages, email, Twitter, or even a text message if urgency is required… but we don’t need to chat or IM each other.

I don’t have the need to instant message anyone.

If I’m at Yahoo or Google, I’m checking my email.  I’m trying to read something, I don’t need my focus pulled away.  I already have a miniscule attention span.

I’m not tryin’ to hate.  I’m just sayin’.  I mean, my wife picked me up using AIM. She was all up on me like “lol“,  “🙂“,  “send n00dz“.  OK, maybe not that last one.  But she did make plans with me to go to Ritter’s.

Instant messaging is fine, I just have no interest in it while I’m doing other things.  There are plenty of viable ways to say hello to me, or ask me questions.  I can’t think of any purposed served by instant messaging at this point in life.

Why is it forced upon me by every email carrier, social network, & rogue open-source operating system?  (OK, the last one is my own fault.)

Even some websites have built-in creepers now.  “Hello, I can see you’re looking at several different widgets on our site.  Our knowledgeable associate Peter Parker is available to help, type your question below to chat now.”

NO!  Let me browse.  (I do the same thing anytime a salesperson approaches IRL.)

Quit it.  I already have enough browser windows open at once.  I don’t need a chat going on.  I realize that I’ve reached the point of being obsolete.  I didn’t think I’d ever be the type of person that rails against change.  I don’t know if I’m railing against it here, or just not rolling with it.

So, please don’t take offense if this one time fan of Trillian doesn’t want to IM any more.  Maybe we can Skype some time.  Or not.

Emergency "Twitter was down so I wrote my...

OMG!

Qwikster is quite possibly the dumbest idea ever.


Image representing Reed Hastings as depicted i...

Reed Hastings is Absolutely Insane

Not only is it a dumb name, but separating the two services is ridiculous.  It had to be the answer to the question “What’s the worst possible thing we could do for business right now?”

Sorry.  I’m getting ahead of myself.  We all heard about Netflix recently separating their streaming and DVD services into two categories.  I thought I was in the minority, & while slightly tweaked at the price hike… kept with the two now individual plans.  I mean, I like access to the latest movies which are only available on DVD/Blu-ray.  I also like being able to go watch some older films in an instant without any planning whatsoever, and the cool TV shows available like the BBC’s Robin Hood that I would have normally never seen.

I’m sure there are people out there who think the streaming plan is useless, have no idea what Blu-ray is, and just want their DVD’s.  I’m sure there are people who want streaming movies… and probably can’t fathom why anyone would want physical media mailed to them.

I’m guessing that the same people who need a shelf full of 30 different kinds of peanut butter or an entire aisle full of bread varieties at the grocery store like to have options.  We also like things that help us get organized.

Having an online queue of movies that I’d like to watch is pretty cool.  Knowing that the same movie is available for streaming is also pretty cool.  The lack of this will be the opposite of cool, and I don’t understand how Netflix doesn’t see this.

This is also one of the strangest emails ever…

From: “Reed Hastings, Co-Founder and CEO of Netflix” <info@netflix.com>
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Monday, September 19, 2011 3:25 AM
Subject: An Explanation and Some Reflections

Dear Eric,

I messed up. I owe you an explanation.

It is clear from the feedback over the past two months that many members felt we lacked respect and humility in the way we announced the separation of DVD and streaming and the price changes. That was certainly not our intent, and I offer my sincere apology. Let me explain what we are doing.

For the past five years, my greatest fear at Netflix has been that we wouldn’t make the leap from success in DVDs to success in streaming. Most companies that are great at something – like AOL dialup or Borders bookstores – do not become great at new things people want (streaming for us). So we moved quickly into streaming, but I should have personally given you a full explanation of why we are splitting the services and thereby increasing prices. It wouldn’t have changed the price increase, but it would have been the right thing to do.

So here is what we are doing and why.

Many members love our DVD service, as I do, because nearly every movie ever made is published on DVD. DVD is a great option for those who want the huge and comprehensive selection of movies.

I also love our streaming service because it is integrated into my TV, and I can watch anytime I want. The benefits of our streaming service are really quite different from the benefits of DVD by mail. We need to focus on rapid improvement as streaming technology and the market evolves, without maintaining compatibility with our DVD by mail service.

So we realized that streaming and DVD by mail are really becoming two different businesses, with very different cost structures, that need to be marketed differently, and we need to let each grow and operate independently.

It’s hard to write this after over 10 years of mailing DVDs with pride, but we think it is necessary: In a few weeks, we will rename our DVD by mail service to “Qwikster”. We chose the name Qwikster because it refers to quick delivery. We will keep the name “Netflix” for streaming.

Qwikster will be the same website and DVD service that everyone is used to. It is just a new name, and DVD members will go to qwikster.com to access their DVD queues and choose movies. One improvement we will make at launch is to add a video games upgrade option, similar to our upgrade option for Blu-ray, for those who want to rent Wii, PS3 and Xbox 360 games. Members have been asking for video games for many years, but now that DVD by mail has its own team, we are finally getting it done. Other improvements will follow. A negative of the renaming and separation is that the Qwikster.com and Netflix.com websites will not be integrated.

There are no pricing changes (we’re done with that!). If you subscribe to both services you will have two entries on your credit card statement, one for Qwikster and one for Netflix. The total will be the same as your current charges. We will let you know in a few weeks when the Qwikster.com website is up and ready.

For me the Netflix red envelope has always been a source of joy. The new envelope is still that lovely red, but now it will have a Qwikster logo. I know that logo will grow on me over time, but still, it is hard. I imagine it will be similar for many of you.

I want to acknowledge and thank you for sticking with us, and to apologize again to those members, both current and former, who felt we treated them thoughtlessly.

Both the Qwikster and Netflix teams will work hard to regain your trust. We know it will not be overnight. Actions speak louder than words. But words help people to understand actions.

Respectfully yours,

-Reed Hastings, Co-Founder and CEO, Netflix

p.s. I have a slightly longer explanation along with a video posted on our blog, where you can also post comments.

This message was mailed to [me] by Netflix.
SRC: 1578.0.US.en-US
Use of the Netflix service and website constitutes acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
(c) 2011 Netflix, Inc. 100 Winchester Circle, Los Gatos, CA 95032, U.S.A.

This is Charlie Sheen level insanity here.  This may be even Gary Busey level crazy.  (By the way, why is he in those creepy local Kia commercials?) 

This long-form is even crazier: An Explanation and Some Reflections …along with this.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that none of your customers think this is a good idea.  Let me break it down for you:

  • The price increase for the base plan was dumb.  You realize that now.  Why not fix that?
  • A streaming-only service would be awesome… IF THERE WAS MORE CONTENT.
    • Streaming newer movies would obviously be the biggest draw.  Work out that licensing.  I know it’s not simple.  Figure it out.
    • Streaming more content & more current movies would make me buy new hardware.  Currently we stream Netflix through the Wii.  If I could get more new movies… I’d upgrade to a Bluray player that does streaming at a better quality or something like the Roku 2 player.
    • Old movies that are part of a series… only some are available.  You can stream The Wrath of Kahn but not the entire Star Trek series?  Dumb.
    • Special episodes/bonus content of DVD’s not available for streaming.  A minor annoyance, but still… Dumb.
  • I don’t want two distinct services where there was once one all-encompassing service.
    • One site to manage two queues is quite convenient.
    • I don’t want 2 separate charges for 2 separate services where there once was one.  I’m guessing no one else does either.
    • I don’t want to figure out for myself what’s available for streaming & what’s available on DVD.  Especially if I’m paying twice the price for the service.

Imagine going to your local pizza shop and they decide that they’re only going to do pizza because they do dough, sauce, & cheese really well.   If you want any toppings, subs, bread-sticks, drinks, or a salad… you need to go across the street and buy them.  Oh, now the place across the street sells wings too!  They have separate menus… but it’s just across the street, so no big deal, right?  Does this sound like a great idea, Reed Hastings?

Ridiculous.

[Woah – The Oatmeal read my mind!]