Seriously; I’m not McDonald’s, but I will try to help.


It’s happening again.  Someone thinks I’m McDonald’s and that my website is printed on McDonald’s receipts.  This is the message that was in my inbox on Friday night:

From: Jay Culp <culp915@comcast.net>
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Friday, July 27, 2012 8:45 PM
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback

Name: Jay Culp
Email: culp915@comcast.net
Website: http://google
Message / Comment: I was up mcdonalds on walnut street in mckeesport bout 2 months ago they messed up my whole order i called up there took my name address was suppose to seed me coupons bout never got them order 2 big mac got big macs w tomatoes and order 4 mcchichens w kep only they had everything on them was just wondering how long i got to wait for my coupons.
How’d you find my blog?: on recreipt

Time: Friday July 27, 2012 at 8:45 pm
IP Address: ##.##.###.###
Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/
Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.

I wrote back with this:

From: Waldo Lunar world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Date: Mon, Jul 30, 2012
Subject: Re: W(aL)D Feedback
To: culp915@comcast.net

Hello Jay,

Sadly… I am not McDonald’s.  Well, sadly for you & many others… not so sadly for me.  Although, I would perhaps enjoy the salary of a sole McDonald’s executive let alone the company as a whole. Although, if you own Google like the website field suggests, you know what I mean, my friend.  You could by and sell my economically-challenged ass.

I guess though, that you apparently used Google to find my website.  Thisperplexes me though, and has on multiple occasions:

How’d you find my blog?: on recreipt”

I’m pretty sure that no area McDonald’s locations print my website address on their receipts.  If they do, they need to pay me for customer service services rendered.  After all, I do reply until the situation is resolved (on my end anyway).

I’m guessing that a manager’s email address (not a website) was printed on your receipt.  I’m guessing you Googled that email address and it brought you to my site because that address or a similar one appears on my blog.

As a general rule of thumb… if it contains the “@” symbol, it’s an email address.  A lot of websites are preceded by “http://&#8221; or “www.” but not always.  A website would end in “.com”, “.net”, .”org”, or something similar & would not contain any “@” symbols.

Entering either a website or an email address into Google will search for that website or email address.  If you’d like to go directly to the website, enter that into the address bar of your favorite web browswer.  If you’d like to email someone, enter their address in the “To:” filed of Outlook, other mail client, or in your webmail… however you choose to access email.

If you can reply to me with the exact text written on your receipt, I will be glad to write to McDonald’s on your behalf.  I have experienced some success in dealing with fast food companies & getting coupons or other free stuff.  We, the little people, must band together against such mega-corporations who want nothing more than to take our money and treat us like the cattle they serve.

Certainly two months is a reasonable time in which to receive coupons as an apology to poor service.  Your order seems reasonable… although correct me if I’m wrong but McChicken sandwiches don’t normally have ketchup and Big Macs don’t normally have tomatoes.  It’s an interesting flavor palette you bring forth.  I may have to try it.  Ever have a McChicken with the sweet & sour nugget sauce?  That is fantastic.  It’s even better at Wendy’s with their chicken sandwich & sweet & sour sauce.  And, if you’re not swept up in the current Chick-fil-A controversy, I’d go for their sandwich with the honey mustard sauce.  Some older crazy lady always tries to push the Chick-fil-A Sauce on me, but she’s nuts… the Honey Mustard is far superior.  Also, I still miss the Arch Deluxe… especially when it had round bacon… not Canadian bacon, but round normal American bacon… with black pepper.  That sandwich was the work of a genius.

I haven’t been to McKeesport in quite a while.  I was at a recording studio there years ago and someone’s car got broken into while we were all inside rocking out.  I had a drink or two at the Elbow Room that was across the street.  Funny name… although inside it had a nautical theme… which didn’t seem to fit the name.  I guess elbows everywhere would have been creepy.

I’m sorry, I seem to get off track easily.  I’m guessing you didn’t take the tiem to read my blog when you landed there after your Google search.  Instead, you went directly to the “Contact” page.  I like that.  I see you’re all business.  The title World (and Lunar) Domination at the top didn’t even deter you.

You might want to check out these blog posts though…

I can’t really offer up anything else as proof that ⓐ I’m not Mcdonald’s and ⓑ My website isn’t on the receipt.

I seriously would like to help out though, if I can.  If you could reply with a photo or scan of the receipt, or simply just type the address/phone/email address in the reply, I’ll write to them on your behalf… Cc:ing you and keeping you in the loop.  I tried to help Jane, but never heard if that situation was resolved.  Some people are just ungrateful for assistance, I guess.

I hope this message finds you well, and that you have a good day, my friend.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Excelsior!

Waldo Lunar
Professional Customer Service Liaison, Esq.
W(aL)D

P.S. – Ever want to “Crop-Dust” at a restaurant when people are being exceptionally rude?

A McDonald's McChicken sandwich.

A McDonald’s McChicken sandwich. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I wonder if I’ll get a reply?  I’d love it if this guy actually wants my help and provides a valid email address to someone at the McKessport McDonald’s.  How do you think they’d respond to a 3rd party?  They never did thank me for helping to get that one fryer-cleaner company paid.

Looks like you can actually contact the McKeesport McDonald’s via Webform: http://www.mcpennsylvania.com/2842/contact/manager/

But, how fun is that?  None at all, I say.

Really though, “I was up McDonald’s…” How Yinzer is that?  Fantastic.  Let’s hope that this isn’t another fake message, and that Mr. Culp writes back.

The Arch Deluxe composition from an advertisement

The Arch Deluxe composition from an advertisement (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Under the Golden Arches?


Wow, I think I got a reply from this faster than I was in line the last time I went through the McDonald’s drive-through.  You can read the original message with yesterday’s “O’Ffended“, or see the full text below included in their reply.

from McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com
to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 5:24 AM
subject Message from McDonald’s USA

Hello Eric:

Thank you for taking the time to contact McDonald’s.

We appreciate your comments.  I apologize for your dissatisfaction with our company.  Please know that I have immediately forwarded this information to the appropriate personnel for further review.

Again, thank you for contacting McDonald’s. We hope to have the opportunity of serving you again soon under the Golden Arches.

Jessica
McDonald’s Customer Response Center

ref#:6711209

————————————————————————————————————–

Please do not “reply” to this email response. No “replies” can be received through this mailbox. If you wish to contact McDonald’s Customer Response Center again, please visit our website at http://www.mcdonalds.com

————————————————————————————————————–

McDonald’s now has FREE WiFi at over 11,000 U.S. locations! Find out more at http://www.mcdwireless.com.

You wrote:

Hello friends, You may not know that “Mick/Mic/Mc” is listed in the Racial Slur Database as “Irish | Many Irish surnames begin with ‘Mc’ or ‘Mac.’ Many Irish are also named after the famed Michael Collins, making Michael (Mick) a very common name. Not as derogatory as Paddy.”  I was wondering, in an ever-increasingly politically correct society, why you would continue to use the “Mc” prefix on your items and promotions?

As an American of Irish and Scottish descent, I can’t hep but wonder if I should feel celebrated, or offended?

I mean, the Shamrock Shake is indeed awesome.  Who can get angry about those?  (Except maybe Grimace, who’s no longer around to promote them?)

I realize that the original brothers were named “McDonald”, but why the “Mc” or “Mac” in “McNuggets”, “McCaf??”, “Mayor McCheese”, “Big Mac” or any other McWord? ie – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McWords

Do you feel any responsibility for the Mc-inization of the USA?

Thank you for your time, I can’t wait to hear from you!

-Eric

I wonder who the appropriate parties are… and what do they mean by “under the Golden Arches”?  Is that where Jimmy Hoffa is buried?

O’Ffended


Heh.  You can blame this one on my cousin Melynda.  She encouraged me to write to McDonald’s to try & get free shamrock shake coupons.  I have no idea if this will do the trick or not, but it sure was fun.

Submitted via webform, some links added for your convenience…

from McDonald’s <DoNotReply@mcdonalds.com>
reply-to McDonald’s <DoNotReply@mcdonalds.com>
to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Mon, Mar 8, 2010 at 12:33 PM
subject McDonald’s Web Site Comment or Question

Thank you for visiting McDonald’s website. Below is your email which has been submitted to McDonald’s Customer Response Center. While replies to this e-mail cannot be received, should you need to contact us again, please feel free to contact us through mcdonalds.com. Thank you.

Title: Mr.
First Name: Eric
Last Name: Aixelsyd
Mailing Address:
City: Pittsburgh
State: PA
Zip:
Day Phone: 412-555-1212
Evening Phone: 724-555-1212
Contact Time: email only please
Your E-mail Address: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

Comment: Hello friends, You may not know that “Mick/Mic/Mc” is listed in the Racial Slur Database as “Irish | Many Irish surnames begin with ‘Mc’ or ‘Mac.’ Many Irish are also named after the famed Michael Collins, making Michael (Mick) a very common name. Not as derogatory as Paddy.” I was wondering, in an ever-increasingly politically correct society, why you would continue to use the “Mc” prefix on your items and promotions?

As an American of Irish and Scottish descent, I can’t hep but wonder if I should feel celebrated, or offended?

I mean, the Shamrock Shake is indeed awesome.  Who can get angry about those?  (Except maybe Grimace, who’s no longer around to promote them?)

I realize that the original brothers were named “McDonald”, but why the “Mc” or “Mac” in “McNuggets”, “McCafé”, “Mayor McCheese”, “Big Mac” or any other McWord? ie – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McWords

Do you feel any responsibility for the Mc-inization of the USA?

Thank you for your time, I can’t wait to hear from you!

-Eric

Also… just to clarify to everyone out there who asks why I get so upset at  various companies, or why I do this…  most all of the posts in the W(aL)D category are just facetious in nature, or at least they start out that way.  I don’t know why I need to explain this, or if I even should… it may be funnier if you think it’s real.  Ha ha ha.

Man, I can’t believe I forgot to mention Uncle O’Grimacey!

McReadverspamtismentply


You may remember, a while ago I wrote to McDonald’s about the sandwich-which-can-not-be-named.  I got an envelope in the mail the other day from my McFriends, and I thought “Sweet! A reply about the McGang-Bang!  A real letter!”

Well, I was wrong.  It was some sort of reply/advertisement/spam all rolled into one.  I was very disappointed.  Then, I noticed that the letter wasn’t to Mr. AiXeLsyD, it was to Mr. Carroll… it must have been about the McDonald’s on West Liberty Avenue’s disgusting restroom?  They never did follow up on a local level like they said they would.  Instead, I get this advertisement for the Mac Snack Wrap and the breakfast dollar menu?  Seriously?

At least now I have a contact name.  I’m going to have to resort to snail mail to get a response for a real live person, I believe… anything other than the stupid “we can’t take unsolicited ideas” form letter would be awesome.

Oh well, the advertisement letter & a scan of the two coupons is below… I popped a “void” on them in hopes that Photobucket doesn’t delete the damn things.  They’ve removed old coupons on me before… I usually always blur out any numbers or barcodes that might make them usable.

McDonald's Letter from Salena M. Scardina

McDonald's - Mac Snack Wrap Coupons

Wow, I’m so honored to be contacted with such an auspicious reply!  I’m glad that my contact in 2009 gave them an opportunity to better understand my needs and expectations!  …that were never properly addressed.  I’ve already seen the Mac Snack Wrap commercials and billboards, so I’m now sure how this letter makes me among the first to know… perhaps there are some people in Appalachia and in Alaska that aren’t familiar with the concept of snacking on “a whole new level”.  I’d like to see some sort of chart on the levels of snacking.  Are they the opposite of Dante’s levels of hell?  Or, perhaps… one in the same?  [Insert your own joke about gluttony here.]  I”ll perhaps have to address this in future missives.

In the mean time, I’m making a call to all of my readers… if you can make me a chart of the levels of snacking, it would be greatly appreciated! I’d love to share it with everyone.

Maybe next time, I’ll go with the angle that I find the proliferation of “Mc” to be disturbing to those of us with Celtic heritage…

The Mythical Magical McGangbang


You’ve heard of the McGangBang, right?  For the uninitiated, there’s a world out there of fast food items not listed on the menu that are available for your dining pleasure (and most likely for your digestive displeasure) if you’re in the know, and if the employees are in the know.  This list from McDonald’s alone is pretty impressive.  There are many others out there.  My friend Andy used to apparently get a “Volcano” from Taco Bell, which was described to me as a burrito with everything in it.  Now that they have volcano tacos & burritos that are something else entirely, that might be an ordering issue.  If you’ve got time to kill or your interest is piqued, it’s definitely worth Googling.

At any rate, while I have raised a legitimate issue with McDonald’s, and I have gotten one response so far… I decided to use my W(aL)D email address to address a ridiculous issue with them.  So, off to the McWebform I went!  Sadly, you’re forced to pick a category… none of which exactly fits my query.   I think I posted to “McDonald’s U.S. Marketing, Promotions, and Advertising“, but it seems like my answer was brought about by the “Unsolicited Idea Policy“.  Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself.  On to the emails…

My original submission (via McWebform):

Hello Friends,

I was wondering if you are aware of the mythical magical McGang-Bang, and if at any time in the future, you man be adding it officially to your menu?

I believe it to be a McChicken sandwich stuffed inside a Double Cheeseburger, the new 99¢ McDouble, or even a Big Mac.  The exact specifics are a subject of hot debate, as this is a rare creature, like Bigfoot, el Chupacabra, or the Unicorn.  There is also debate on whether to discard an extra bun or down it whole.

If you do plan to offer this in the future, what would the proper spelling be?  McGangBang, McGangbang, McGang-Bang, or McGang-bang?  I could see how all options would be acceptable?

I’m not sure where the name comes from, but it sure is catchy.  (Much better than “Arch Deluxe”, no?)

I’d like to be able to go into a McDonald’s and order a McGang-Bang without being looked at like I’m crazy when it’s common knowledge among certain circles.

Thanks for your time, I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on the matter!

-E.

Their “we got it, we’ll get back to you” reply:

From: McDonald’s DoNotReply@mcdonalds.com
Date: Thu, Dec 10, 2009 at 10:38 AM
Subject: McDonald’s Web Site Comment or Question
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

Thank you for visiting McDonald’s website. Below is your email which has been submitted to McDonald’s Customer Response Center. While replies to this e-mail cannot be received, should you need to contact us again, please feel free to contact us through mcdonalds.com. Thank you.

Title: Mr.
First Name: ERiC
Last Name: AiXeLsyD
Mailing Address: ____ _______ _____ ____ __
City: Pittsburgh
State: PA
Zip: _____-____
Day Phone: 412-555-1212
Evening Phone: 412-555-1212
Contact Time: None.  Email please.
Your E-mail Address: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Comment: [What you just read above…]

Their “real” reply:

From: McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com
Date: Fri, Dec 11, 2009 at 5:08 AM
Subject: Message from McDonald’s USA
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

Hello ERiC:

Thank you for contacting McDonald’s recently with your idea for a product or service that you believe would be of interest to us. We appreciate your interest in McDonald’s, but it is our company’s policy not to consider unsolicited ideas from outside the McDonald’s system. We have retained an electronic copy of your submission solely for our records.

It’s not that great ideas cannot come from people outside of McDonald’s. Each year, however, McDonald’s receives thousands of unsolicited ideas and proposals for products and services from individuals as well as companies. Because of the volume of unsolicited ideas and the difficulty of sorting out what is truly a “new” idea as opposed to a concept that has already been considered or developed by McDonald’s, we must adhere to a strict policy of not reviewing any unsolicited ideas that come from outside the McDonald’s family of employees, franchisees and approved suppliers. We realize that we may be missing out on a few good ideas, but we have had to adopt this policy for legal and business reasons.

As a result, we must decline your invitation to review your submission and hope you understand the reasons for this decision.

Again, thank you for thinking of McDonald’s.

Jessica
McDonald’s Customer Response Center

ref#:6525973

————————————————————————————————————–

Please do not “reply” to this email response. No “replies” can be received through this mailbox. If you wish to contact McDonald’s Customer Response Center again, please visit our website at www.mcdonalds.com

————————————————————————————————————–

Are you finished with your holiday shopping? Even the person with everything gets hungry. An Arch Card makes a great holiday gift. For more information visit your local McDonald’s restaurant or our website at http://www.mcdonalds.com/archcard.

You wrote:
[You just read it above…]

Well, apparently my idea went to the wrong department, or someone that’s absolutely no fun.  I didn’t submit an idea!  I asked about a secret menu item…  Hopefully, as we’ve learned with most other web-forms, we submit again, and we get a different person responding.  Although, this looks curiously like a form letter.  Perhaps I should try again in a different category?  Should I ask for the email address of a real live person?  Perhaps I need to Google some names of high-up important McPeople and try to figure out the syntax of the company email addresses.  This worked with great success for me in the past with Boston Market.  Ha ha ha.

Also, I wondered on the Beat if putting a “Mc” in front of everything could be construed as racist?  As an American of Irish and Scottish descent, perhaps I should be taken aback by the flippant use of “Mc” in front of everything?  (By McDoanld’s, and even my own shockingly casual use.) It is after all, listed in the Racial Slur Database and in Wikipedia’s list of ethnic slurs.  Perhaps this is an idea to addressed in the future.  Dave was quick to point out though, that nothing is more racist than 365Black.  Wow.  Just…  Wow.  (…or McWow?) Also… What about leap day?  Is that a day off?

Find any of this amusing?  What’s the next step?