I can’t wait to make stuffing again. It’s ridiculously tasty. I love the carb overload. Maybe I will get those goggles, and I need to pick up some Yuengling. A week from tonight, I should be in the process of creating this awesomeness.
I’ll show you my stuffing recipe if you show me yours.
How do you do it?
Maybe this year, I’ll try to make some Potato Filling too. There are a bunch of recipes for it out there. Maybe stuffing balls would be good… Now I’m hungry.
Posted in Food, Life, Recipes
Tagged 'fridge, Beer, Bethany, black pepper, bowl, bread, bread loaves, butt, butter, celery, chop, chopped, chopping board, coarse ground black pepper, coffee table, Cook, Cooking, cube, cubed, D.G. Yuengling & Son, dinner, dressing, Dutch, eat, egg, Eggs, electric roaster, electric skillet, extra virgin olie oil, Food, fresh parsley, giblets, gravy, gross, Holidays, Home, K.I.S.S., Keep it simple stupid, KISS, kitchen, knife, knived, large crock pot, Lawry's, left-overs, leftovers, loaves of bread, magc bullet, Magic Bullet®, McCormick, Morton, neck, onions, oven, oven crock pot, parsley, Pennsylvania, pepper, photo, photograph, picture, Pittsburgh, plate, Potato Filling, poultry, poultry seasoning, Recipe, recipies, refridgerator, roaster, roaster pan, roasting pan, sage, salt, Season All, seasoned salt, Spanish onions, spices, stale, stale bread, Stuffing, stuffing balls, stuffing/dressing, Stuffings and Dressings, sweet onions, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving dinner, turkey, turkey broth, turkey giblets, turkey neck, United States, vegetabe broth, vegetable broth, wash your hands, Water, Yuengling
Image by StartTheDay via Flickr
Well, I’m sure everyone does to a certain extent. I hate them for the obvious reasons of comfort/germs/privacy just like (I’d imagine) everyone else. I mean, everyone would rather do business on their own throne & all alone, am I right?
I hate public facilities for other reasons that are somehow more annoying than the obvious…
- They’re never stocked properly. Okay, I guess this one’s obvious. Sorry. Perhaps I should also say “rarely” instead of “never”, but I’m ranting here. If something’s not out completely, the dispenser is jammed which is worse because it’s there but you can’t get to it. Soap? Toilet paper? Hand towels? Who needs ’em, right?
- TP Quality. If I can see through it and have to go bad enough that I’m actually pooping in a public bathroom, you can guarantee that I’m going to wad it so much that you should have just bought the better stuff anyway.
- The “hey we cleaned it 10 min. ago” sign-in sheets. Yeah, “cleaned”.
- Sink design. There seem to be a lot of sink designers out there that have never actually washed their hands. When the faucet hangs about 2 inches over a sink basin with a large slope… my knuckles are hitting porcelain and my palms remain dry until I pull some contortionist-like moves that should probably get me into the Olympics. Did no one think about that when the bathrooms were being built or remodeled? No one has tried the sink out, regardless of the inevitable “Employees Must Wash Hands” sign? Perhaps I am doing it wrong. Is there a secret? If there is a better way, I am but your humble student.
- Water. It’s never quite right, is it? Scalding, freezing… a minor inconvenience I guess. Most public sinks that I encounter have the all-on-splash-my-shirt setting and the just-above-a-drip setting with not much in between. I’ll also mention the “oh no I leaned on the counter and it looks like I peed my pants” moment here. The auto-sinks at Walmart stores feel like there’s a tiny elf with an eyedropper in there just waiting to wash your hands.
- Foam soap is just terrible. Quit it already. I’m over it, and you should be too. It dissipates so quickly & leaves my hands feeling either not clean at all at best or almost sticky at worst. The watered-down liquid soap that was used regularly well into the late 90’s and early 00’s is just fine.
- Technology isn’t your friend. I’m the last person to run a tirade against technology. But sometimes, the more there is to it, the more there is to go wrong.
- The auto-flush toilet was probably the first to appear. While noble, I have perfected my boot-flush and elbow-flush techniques… so I don’t need it, even if it does work. Everyone’s heard the tale of someone who was auto-flushed upon amid doing business on the john. No one wants to be the victim there, right? Especially of the ones that look like a mini hurricane in a bowl.
- The Hand Dryer. I believe the correct ratio is 1 out of every 3 hand dryers (hot or cool) actually functions. I haven’t done any studies, and I’m not sure if this is the factory QC acceptance level, but it seems about right. I’m saying 1 out of 5 for the no-button auto kind. You can quote me on this.
- The hands-free paper towel dispenser. Jammed, not working, empty, gives a 3″ square or enough to dry 1 finger… then takes 10 minutes to give you enough for the next finger. So much here to go wrong.
- The hands-free soap dispenser. There’s no soap in it, because it’s all on the floor. Or, if it’s an in-sink unit, there’s always a bottle of Softsoap or Dial there because the in sink unit is always empty or broken.
- The hands-free sink. See my previous comment about elves & eye droppers. It also helps if the elf isn’t sleeping.
- Pfft. The auto your-ass-stinks dispensers make it smell like poop and flowers. That helps.
- What’s next? Someday there will be butt-wiping robots or poo-burning laser beams. I’d like to go on record now as voting against this.
- The pee trough. These are rare nowadays, thank goodness.
- The Surprise. Unfortunately you know what I’m talking about. Stop it, people.
- The trash can. Full or overflowing? Yes. The in-sink or in-wall ones are a joke.
- The multi-tasker. I don’t want to hear you on your phone while you’re pooping. The person on the other end doesn’t want to talk to you while you’re pooping. I don’t want to talk to you while I’m pooping. Phones and pooping do not mix.
- The dweller. What’s with people that just hang out in restrooms? What are you doing besides making me nervous? If you’re not using the facilities or freshening up… get out.
What did I miss? I’m sure something in public restrooms annoys you too. What is it? Am I wrong with any of the above statements? Have any horror stories? Hit me with comments…
Posted in Consumer Advocacy, Funny Stuff, Life, Rants in my pants
Tagged ass, auto-flush, automatic, barthroom, basin, bathroom, bowl, bum, bunghole, business, butt, butt-wiping, commode, Construction and Maintenance, crapper, deficate, Design, Dial, elf, eye, eye dropper, facilities, faucet, feces, flush, Flush toilet, garbage, garbage can, hand dryer, hand towel, hand-washing, hands-free, Handsfree, John, knob, Laser, laser-beams, latrine, paper towel, Paper towel dispenser, pee, pee trough, peed, peeing, piss-trough, Poop, pooped, pooping, Public, Public toilet, QC, quality control, restroom, robot, sensor, shitter, shopping, Sink, sink basin, sinks, soap, Soap dispenser, Softsoap, spigot, teepee, toilet, toilet bowl, toilet paper, towel, TP, trach can, trahs, United States, urinate, urine, Walmart, Washington, water closet, WC
Stuffing has got to be my favorite Thanksgiving food. I remember Thanksgivings past where my dad & I would fight over the stuffing bowl like it was filled with gold, diamonds, and (for me) guitars. The stuff is perfect. Alone, with turkey, with gravy… the decadent amount of carbs is ridiculously awesome.
Last year was my first ever attempt at making stuffing… and my grandma told me that it tasted just like hers. Is there a compliment better than that? I had used as a guide an old recipe that my grandfather & grandmother had both used when making holiday meals. My mom lent me the old cook book with my grandfather’s notes last year, I collected some others, and I made scans for myself.
I say “guide” because it’s not always an exact science when doubling/tripling recipes… and there really aren’t any cooking directions… it’s just a guide to make the stuff. Also, I tend to do a lot of “oh, that looks about right” and a little bit of “hey, let’s add a little of this” in the kitchen, as most people comfortable there usually do.
A lot of times I see stuffing recipes online, on TV, or in the little books by the cash register at the grocery store… and they include sausage, apples, raisins, (yuck!) nuts, or even peppers, carrots, or mushrooms (all of the latter of which I’ like to try some time). The philosophy behind this recipe seems to be a K.I.S.S. one. I like that. It’s a very simple accompaniment, and the taste that my mind goes to every time I think “stuffing”.
This year, it was definitely a two person effort. I don’t know how I would have done it without Bethany and all four of our hands. We made a lot of stuffing. Sadly, I didn’t think to chronicle the thing with photos like I sometimes do with new recipes… but I did want to make a guide with my own notes, so when I do this next year, I remember what I did differently this year. I know I altered things slightly last year, but the details were a little fuzzy. I figured that if I’m going to do it for myself, I might as well share, right? Plus, we got compliments from two moms, two grandmas, and an aunt… all excellent in the kitchen themselves!
I did take a photo today, because really, what’s a food blog post without a photo? Perhaps I’ll see if my mom got any with her camera and amend the post later.
This year's effort was delicious, if I do say so myself.
This is my first time really writing out a recipe… so pardon me if it’s a little convoluted or long winded. I don’t want to miss anything, and I hope to get it all in the right order as well as make it an entertaining read.
Here’s what you’ll need to do it the same way I did…
- 5 loaves of bread (equaled 56 cups once cubed)
- 1 bundle of celery (3 cups, chopped – the rest can cook w/ the turkey or be a snack)
- 2 Spanish or Sweet onions
- The giblets & neck out of your turkey.
- 1 can (14½ oz.) vegetable broth
- 1 tablespoons of salt
- ½ tablesppon Season All Seasoned Salt
- 1 heaping teaspoon coarse ground black pepper
- 1 heaping teaspoon sage
- 1 heaping teaspoon poultry seasoning
- 10 eggs
- 4 sticks (2 cups) butter
- some water
- 1 cup fresh parsley
- 1 bottle of Yuengling
- 2 cookie sheets
- cutting boards
- small pot
- electric skillet
- Magic Bullet®
- electric roaster
- large crock pot
- a few large bowls
- several large spoons
- paper towels
OK, on to the directions…
- Monday night, get your loaves of bread, open the bags, and put the loaves on cookie sheets before dinner. Leave ’em out on a table or counter while you do your thing.
- Right before your favorite prime time TV shows come on, set up a station on the coffee table in front of the couch with the cookie trays of bread, some cutting boards with knives, and the pans out of your electric roaster. Cube the bread and fill the roasting pan. When I say fill it, I mean fill it. It will be ridiculously full.
- Cover it with paper towels, and set it on the kitchen table that you only use when company comes over anyway. Over the next few days, stir it a few times a day, whenever you think of it. This will get it nicely & slightly stale. If you’re going to be doing anything that smells, like using cleaning chemicals, put it in the oven… but don’t turn it on. It’s nice & warm & dry & not stinky in there. The bread will absorb that stuff and the stuffing will taste like Mr. Clean made it.
- Wednesday night, get out your turkey… and pull the disgusting papery bag of giblets out of the neck cavity, and the neck out of its butt. (Why exactly do they put the neck in the butt, anyway? Who’s idea was that?) Boil the giblets in your can of vegetable broth, or just use plain water… or even turkey or chicken broth. I thought the vegetable broth would add a nice flavor. I boiled them for a nice long time, and let it cook down quite a bunch.
- Finely chop up your celery & onions… or use the Magic Bullet, like I did. I’m not real big on chunks of slimy or crunchy stuff in bread-like consistency foods. I probably had half of each chopped finely, the other half rendered to near-paste by the genius little piece of equipment that list the Magic Bullet. I’m sure any food processor would work.. but this one is easy to pot pout of storage, use, and clean when you’re done.
- Then I popped out the electric skillet to sauteé the onion & celery mixture… probably in some Country Crock & a bit of extra virgin olive oil… adding some of the spices mentioned above, and maybe even some paprika… although, they don’t come the totals listed above. These are the aforementioned “oh, that looks about right” and “hey, let’s add a little of this”. You’ve sauteed stuff, you know how it works. I love this step because it turns the onions from gross into awesome… especially the Spanish onions. The sweet onions are oddly enough not as sweet to me when cooked.
- Next time, I’m totally getting a pair of swimming goggles or those glasses that I’ve seen at Bed, Bath & Beyond for when I chop & pulverize the onions. I was crying like a little girl who just watched a car run over a kitten.
- I popped the onions and celery into separate containers for the ‘fridge to save for Thursday morning.
- Next, I pulled out the giblets and chopped them into tiny pieces, & put them with the reduced broth from cooking into a 3rd refrigerator bound container to be used on Thursday morning.
- Go to bed. You have to get up early.
- Thursday get up about an hour before your turkey needs to go in the roaster oven, and start to mix all this crap together.
- Add the dry spice ingredients to the now stale-ish cubed bread. Good luck not getting any on the floor.
- Chop the fresh parsley.
- Nuke your butter in a microwave safe bowl, add it to a large mixing bowl, crack open the 10 eggs, and whisk away.
- Add the fresh parsley to the buttery gooey egg mixture.
- Add 2-3 cups of the broth from the giblets, and the finely chopped giblets to the now even gooier butterier egg mixture.
- This is where I got the bright idea to dump in some Yuengling. It wasn’t a whole bottle… but I had it out & only needed about ½ cup for my butter/garlic/beer turkey injection/baste, so I dumped some into the gooey buttery gibletey mixture, and drank the rest… all before 8:00 am.
- Dump the celery & onion concoction on to the bread, mix around, and then dump on the gooey buttery gibletey Yuenglingey mixture. This is where it was imperative that there were two of us. Bethany opted to use her hands to mix while I poured. The mixing gets easier when it’s wet, as it goes down a little. You should probably wash your hands before you do this. Not that I think you’re stupid or anything… but there are signs out there all over the place… so someone somewhere must need reminded. Use soap, and hot water.
- Now, this needs to come out of the roaster so the turkey can go into it… and you should be doing this around the same time as turkey prep… so stuff what you can into the turkey carcass’ various cavities, and put the rest in the crock pot. I had Bethany scoop it into a bowl small amounts at a time as I stuffed it into the bird, so I wasn’t touching raw poultry and the stuffing that wasn’t going into the bird. She made it clear that she wasn’t touching the raw dead bird, or sticking her hands into it.
- I sewed up the turkey and popped it into the roaster to cook, and then put the stuffing in the crock pot on low to cook for the same amount of time.
- Everyone told me last year that stuffing + crock pot = bad idea. This is where I say that you could not be more wrong. It was perfectly moist and heated well throughout. I did break the cardinal cock pot rule by removing the lid every hour or so and stirring a little so it didn’t stick to the sides or burn. This worked well, except that I didn’t get the bottom well enough. You could add more liquid throughout if t looked necessary… or not stir if you like the crusty part as much as the other part. If you use the crock pot enough, you get to know what works for yours. Pop it on to warm or off a while before you eat.
- When the turkey’s ready, the stuffing’s ready. Stuff yourself silly, send people home with leftovers, and eat for breakfast, lunch, & dinner the next day.
Well, I hope you enjoyed the process, and I’m sorry for jumping tenses. I think I did anyway. All over the place. Maybe Dave and Kristin can give me some pointers on that.
I’d love to know what you think of this recipe, and how you do your stuffing. I’m always up for trying things new ways… and I’m always up for eating stuffing. In fact, even better — make some, and invite me over for dinner!
Posted in Food, Recipes
Tagged 'fridge, Beer, Bethany, black pepper, bowl, bread, bread loaves, butt, butter, celery, chop, chopped, chopping board, coarse ground black pepper, coffee table, Cooking, cube, cubed, dinner, dressing, eat, egg, Eggs, electric roaster, electric skillet, extra virgin olie oil, Food, fresh parsley, giblets, gravy, gross, K.I.S.S., Keep it simple stupid, KISS, kitchen, knife, knived, large crock pot, Lawry's, left-overs, leftovers, loaves of bread, magc bullet, Magic Bullet®, McCormick, Morton, neck, onions, oven, oven crock pot, parsley, pepper, photo, photograph, picture, plate, poultry, poultry seasoning, Recipe, recipies, refridgerator, roaster, roaster pan, roasting pan, sage, salt, Season All, seasoned salt, Spanish onions, spices, stale, stale bread, Stuffing, stuffing/dressing, sweet onions, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving dinner, turkey, turkey broth, turkey giblets, turkey neck, vegetabe broth, vegetable broth, wash your hands, Water, Yuengling