I’m not a catering service.


Well, I haven’t done one of these in a while.  One day, a phishing spam caught my eye and I had to torment them a bit.  I have no idea where they get my email address.  Must be bots or I’m on a list I guess.  Also, I have no idea why they think I’m a catering service.

From: jones sandra <jonessandy101@gmail.com>
Date: 2016/08/04
To:
Subject: Catering Service

Hello, My name is Sandra Jones i would like to know if you will be available to cater for my Mums Birthday on the 25th of august,I await your response,hope you accept credit cards for payment?.

Simple enough. Why not be polite and write back?

W(aL)D <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com> wrote:

Hello Ms. Jones,

I would be happy to cater your event. May I ask how you found me? I like to give discounts for referrals.

What kind of menu would you like? We specialize in Mexican-Asian fusion with an Ethiopian twist. Our signature entree is a teriyaki beef & brocoli burrito served over a bed of spanish rice and chick peas.

Unfortunately I do not accept credit cards. I can only except cash, in unmarked bills, in a breifcase, left at a drop point to be agreed upon. I also accept labor in trade if you would like to wash any dishes or help cook for other customers.

Your friend,
Juan Chang

“U CAN GET MORE DAN ONE TANG WITH JUAN CHANG!”

I bet that style exists. Somewhere.

From: jones sandra <jonessandy101@gmail.com>
Date: 2016/08/05
To: “W(aL)D” <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: Catering Service

Good,am hearing impaired and i can only communicate via text and Email……Menu is ribs chicken brisket and potato salad for about 70 guests,i want the food dropped off by 1pm.where exactly are you located to know if you are close to Mum before we proceed please.,i just want to make the arrangement a big suprise for mum,its her 70th Birthday..I await for your response asap.

It gets interesting right away.

W(aL)D <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com> wrote:

Awesome.

I still need to know how you found me for referral kickback purposes. I can deliver via drone like Amazon, so just give me the address. I am located everywhere.

We can also drop balloons and confetti for an extra few dollars.

We have some Chicken Fried Spanish Rice, spicy pork burrito, and Korean BBQ rib quesadillas… os that OK? Perhaps we can work up a potato side like Taco Bell’s spicy potatoes with some Mexican or Ethiopian flair.

Will you be paying in Pesos or Yen?

Aloha!
-Juan Chang

Everyone likes balloons. Right?

From: jones sandra <jonessandy101@gmail.com>
Date: 2016/08/06
To: “W(aL)D” <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: Catering Service

Ok i want to know the brief estimate now so that we can make the payment arrangement , For everything to be in order and i will like to know if you have a Chase,Wellsfargo or BoA Bank…If you have any of these three Banks you can call them and they will set you up for a merchant for free…I await for your response asap..

That’s not shady at all.

W(aL)D <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com> wrote:

I thought we agreed on cash only at a drop-point? Will you be paying in Yen or Pesos? I don’t trust banks. They are the tool of El Diablo.

We should be able to do 70 people for about $700 including a meal, appetizer, drink, and dessert.

Would you like to hire our Manchurian Mariachi band? They compliment the food perfectly.

-Juan

A Manchurian Mariachi band may also exist. OK.  I Googled it.  This is damn close, and so is this.  And this:

Manchurian Mariachi

I can’t believe the things that come up when you Google crazy stuff.

From: jones sandra <jonessandy101@gmail.com>
Date: 2016/08/06
To: “W(aL)D” <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: Catering Service

I can only make payment via credit card..Kindly let me know if it can work out for good..Thanks and hope to hear from you soon..

Pushy.

W(aL)D <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com> wrote:

Sandra,

I thought we had a great party being planned here. I can’t do credit cards. The credit card company fees are way too high. If I can’t pay the credit card fees, they figuratively come over and make me “drop trou” for a solid rogering.

Surely you can get your hands on some Yen or Pesos?

How do you feel about my proposed menu and the musical entertainment?

-Juan (& Only) Chang

And “she” won’t answer my highly important questions regarding cuisine or entertainment.

From: jones sandra <jonessandy101@gmail.com>
Date: 2016/08/09
To: “W(aL)D” <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: Catering Service

Thanks for your response, i can only make the payment via my credit card only and regarding the charges fee to accept the credit card add the bills to the total estimate of your own service charges and i will give you my card info to charge everything on my card..Thanks and hope to hear from you asap..

At least she was polite. I guess we don’t have a deal. I’m not sure how this scam is supposed to work anyway.

W(aL)D <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com> wrote:

I guess we don’t have a deal then. You may want to try a local Boston Market or Panera Bread. I hear they may cater. They probably also deal in credit cards.

Good luck with your Grandma!

Your Friend,
-Juan

I thought I had planned one hell of a party. Anyone want to go into business?

When I tip, you tip, we tip. [#Tipping?]


So, I’ve written about tipping at length before.  I won’t get into all of it again, but I have heard the subject come up lately, and I just want to know where I fall.  This is all about discussion.  I want feedback.  How do you tip?  Some questions I’d like answered…

  • Do you tip 20% when out to eat, or are you still at the 80s 15% standard?  (Please don’t say it’s 10%.)
  • Do you round to the nearest dollar or leave exact change?
  • If you only get a slice of pie and a cup of coffee (or less), do you throw percentage out the window and go for a minimum amount?
  • Is it cool to leave the tip on a receipt if paying with a credit card, or does the waiter/waitress think you stiffed them?
  • Do you tip if there’s an automatic 18% gratuity for a large party?
  • Do you tip better (or worse) based on service, or should it be automatic?
  • How much do you tip a pizza guy/girl?
  • Does the pizza tip change if you have more than pizza or a ridiculously large order?
  • Do you adjust tipping a delivery person in inclement weather, on or near a holiday, or on a day like thanksgiving or New Year’s Day when everyone else is ordering out?
  • Is your delivery tipping based on a percentage of the total, or on a flat per-trip fee?
  • Is it cool to leave the tip on a receipt if paying with a credit card, or does the delivery driver think you stiffed them?
  • Do you tip on take-out when you pick it up?
  • Do you tip at Starbucks or a mom n’ pop coffee place?  Is there a difference?
  • If so, is it change, or paper?
  • Do you tip per beer/drink at the bar, or per round?
  • How much do you tip for a $15 or $18 men’s haircut?  How much more for a beard trim or a shave?
  • Who else do you tip that may not be so obvious?  The garbage man?  The mailman?

I try to tip well as with my food allergy I have a small circle of places where we dine out or get delivery with a high level of comfort.  I want to make sure I’m in the right place.

Please, discuss!

As a reminder, you can comment here without a WordPress account if you’re already logged into Facebook or Twitter, just go to town!
Moo.

Moo.

💵 💸 💳 💰

Tipping is not a city in China


Tipping is not a city in China

Has anyone checked? Maybe it really is.

“Tipping is not a city in China” always struck me as amusing since the first time I saw it written in sharpie on a piece of paper and taped to the tip jar residing at the Misfits merchandise table in the late 90s or early 2000s.

I have seen the subject of tipping come up repeatedly lately on Facebook , in the news, and other sources (like actual conversations face-to-face with real live people).  I’ve probably even talked about it here before. Check out this snarky yet brutally honest article by a blogger (& waiter?) that I Re-Tweeted +1’d pinned shared on Facebook a few weeks ago.

Who sets the standards?  The people being tipped (tipees?)?  Their bosses?  The tippers?  Society at large?

The whole process has always confused and bewildered me (& will most likely always continue to).  I was raised thinking that for a waiter/waitress that 15% is a good tip.  For the past several years, through the magic of the internet, I have been told that 20% is a good tip.  So, 20% is the new 15%.  I’m not sure if this varies per area, or if this is all over the US.  I’m not sure if everyone agrees with this, or just your server.  I know some people that still think 10% is acceptable, and it puckers my butt-cheeks.

Things I know:

  • It’s crazy to get out the tip calculator & lave a tip to the penny.
  • In fact, don’t leave change.
  • Waitresses sometimes have to tip busboys, bartenders, and other employees.
  • A tip is expected, even for bad service… just a little one.

Things I don’t know:

  • Say I’m at Bob Evans and I don’t have any cash on me… I tip with the card.  Does my waitress think I stiffed her?
  • When will they just pay waitresses & waiters what they deserve?
  • Is “keep the change” acceptable if it’s an adequate tip, or is that just a pain to figure out?

I always try to leave decent tips, simply because I don’t have a large circle of places to go where I feel comfortable.  (You know about the deathfish, right?)  I’m sure I’ll be back if I find a place that I like.  Why not tip well?  Hopefully I’ll be treated well the next time, & the next time, & the next time..

Here’s where it gets weird…

One waitress at a Diner could come across all of these issues:

Breakfast

Cup of Coffee

Lunch Special

Casual Dinner

Meal Total

$17.95

$1.95

$6.50

$28.40

# of People

2

1

1

2

Table Trips

6

6

3

3

Refills

2

5

0

1

Hours There

1

½

1

20% Tip

$3.59

39₵

$1.30

$5.68

So, in all of these situations, is 20% rule appropriate?  Is it the “no less than $5” rule?  Is there a “no less than $5” rule? Do you get $6 for dinner because of the price of the meal, despite less trips than say a breakfast where you get tons of cheap sides?  What do you tip when you drank a butt-load of coffee?

I used to work night shift on an assembly line at Sony & a bunch of us would hang out at Eat ‘n Park in New Stanton with the late-night UPS employees.  I know I’d always get free stuff… bowls of soup, drinks, grilled stickies…  But I always tipped to include for the amount for that item.  We were hanging out for endless hours, and tables weren’t turning over, so it was only appropriate.

What about a trip to Sonic?

  The Carhop

The Drive Thru

Takes your order:

☒ No

☑ Yes

Reads It back:

? Sometimes

☑ Yes

Takes Your money:

? Sometimes

☑ Yes

Walks (or skates) out of the building:

☑ Yes

☒ No

Hands it to you:

☑ Yes

☑ Yes

You tip the carhop, but probably don’t tip at the drive through… the only real thing that they do differently is exit the building.  For that they get a tip?  (OK, rollerskating carhops deserve a mad tip.)  Why doesn’t the drive-through person get a tip?

How & what do you generally tip?  Do you have any personal guidelines?  What were you taught?  Percentage or straight dollar amount?  Always?  Never?  On Holidays?  Who taught you?

  • The pizza guy (or girl) (…or other food delivery.)
  • Haircut / Wash
  • Car-wash (Magic ash type drying people, and/or fundraiser.)
  • Six Pack Shop / Beer Distributor
  • Doorman
  • Cab / Limo driver
  • Person who takes your bags at the airport
  • Bellhop
  • Furniture delivery
  • Mailman / UPS / FedEx
  • Movers
  • Garbage man
  • Coffee shop or ice cream parlor with a tip jar
  • Touring band’s merchandise table
  • Any sandwich shop, deli, or pizza place where you “eat in” that has a tip jar.
  • Gas station attendant?
  • A masseuse?
  • Anyone I forgot?

If there’s a jar asking for tips…

  • Are you more or less likely to tip?
  • What if it’s funny?
  • What if it’s begging?
  • What if it’s “whiny” or demanding?

I just really find the subject interesting & I’d like to get a discussion going in the comments here.  GO!

(I fully expect my friend Laurel to rant here in the comments, please don’t let her do it alone!  Let’s engage in intelligent discussion.)

TIP JAR