A food order for the 22th of December, eh?


Well.  Mr. Simson & Ms. Baker have some competition in the grifter circuit.  Seems all these scam artists really like chicken Caesar products.  I’d still like to know how they got my email & why it’s associated with ordering food.  Mr. Smith would like to throw his hat into the ring:

From: paul jason
Date: Fri, Dec 9, 2011
Subject: mr paul smith food order
To:

Hello how are you doing today my name is paul smith My Mom birthday is coming up on the 22th of december and i will like to place an order for 150 grilled chicken salad in individual pack for the 150 guest, it will be pick up by 3pm on the given date and i will like to inform you that am ready to make the full payment with my credit card today so can i know the total cost for the order plus tax…..get back to me with this following information below.

Restaurant address:
Personal cell number:
Total cost for my order plus tax:
Type of the credit card you accept

Regards
paul

Ah, the 22th of December is indeed a fine day.

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Dec 12, 2011
Subject: Re: mr paul smith food order
To: paul jason

Hello Paul,

What a wonderful son you are!  It’s so nice of you to plan a party for your mom on the 22th.  Which of our locations would you want to pickup from?  Generally, I like to personally deliver to ensure the quality of the food upon delivery.  In fact, I can give 1 free grilled chicken salad in individual pack if I can deliver & hang out at the party.  I can ensure quick delivery too, my van made the Kessel run in under 5 parsecs.

Does the party have a theme?  Have you thought about a Star Wars theme?  I can make excellent TIE-fighter shaped chicken caesar wraps, that I display in front of a giant cheese-ball Death Star.  It really is quite breathtaking.  I have some friends in the 501st Legion that can come out too.  They work for a charitable donation made in their name, we’ll just have to feed them.

The price would be $10 per person, so if you have 150 people, and 5 from the 501st Legion, we’re looking at $1550 total, and $1658.50 with tax.

Have you thought about drinks?  If you’re going with the Star Wars theme, you might want to consider Imperial Stout Trooper or Dark Helmet Imperial Schwarzbier.  I can recommend a good supplier if you don’t have one.

I really hope your mom is a Star Wars fan.  Does she need a date to the party?  These are the grilled chicken caesar TIE-fighter wraps you are looking for.

Regards,
-Waldo Lunar
Owner, Operator, Emperor
OMGWTFBBQ, Inc.

I thought it was time for a departure from the Hawaiian Toga Party theme.  In hindsight, now I really do want a Death Star cheese ball.  Can someone get on that?

Death Star Cheese Ball

No one took the time to make TIE-Fighter crackers?

From: paul Smith <paulsmith5485@yahoo.com>
Date: Mon, Dec 12, 2011
Subject: Re: mr paul smith food order
To: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>

Thanks for your email,I am very happy to hear from you with the cost of the order plus tax of my order which is $1658.50 for my order and its okay by me and i want the chicken salad so I will prefer them packed in to-go boxes. Mean while i would like you to add an additional $1275 plus the total price of the order so that you can have all that charged on my credit card now. The funds will be wire to the private carrier who will be coming for the pick up of the food in your place in cash via western union money transfer. i would like you to add it all together plus extra $100 Western union charges for wiring the $1275 to the private carrier and let me have the grand total price inclusive of the tax fee and the 3% credit card company charge fee for the transaction all together,so that I can give you my credit card to charge for the total. I will also like to know what type of credit card you accept for payment. i just want to let you know that i am just back from the hospital i was down with a diagnosis of cancer of the lungs as such i had to spend some time in the intensive care. so i cannot go to western union money transfer for now and pay the driver that is why i want you to help me pay them and you will charge my credit card for the total estimation for the food and the Carrier charges,Hope to hear back from you soon with the grand total so i can forward my credit card information and the carrier’s information to wire the cash via western union transfer to them asap.

Final Break Down:
Foods Order :$1658.50
Carrier’s fee: $1275
Western union fee: $100
3% CC company fee: ?

Unfazed, he was all about putting together a price, but not sure to what end… he wanted to give me a total?  Where do I get scammed here?  Does the “oh I’m paying the courier and he’ll pay you” come next?  I really don’t want to take any credit card information, in case the action in itself is illegal.

Gross Death Star Cheese Ball

This one does not look appetizing at all.

I wrote back offering to be more helpful…

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Dec 12, 2011
Subject: Fwd: mr paul smith food order
To: paulsmith5485@yahoo.com

Hello Again Mr. Smith,

May I call you Paul?  I hope your mother is well, have you talked with her about the Star Wars theme?  I hope that your lung cancer treatment has gone well, Paul!  I’m sorry to hear that you were down with the sickness.  Ooh ah ah ah.  (Sorry, I have a form of Tourette’s that only comes out when I type.  It prevents me from using the Backspace or Delete key too.)  Perhaps you can wear a suit like Darth Vader to improve your breathing?  His lungs weren’t cancerous, but burned quite badly.  I believe all of life’s problems can be solved using Star Wars as a guide.

Why don’t you let me make this easy for you, and I’ll deliver to your location, free of charge!  That way, you don’t need to pay a courier, and I can take your card info. upon delivery, it will save you $1300… or give you a higher beer budget!  A true Jedi would carry out the mission himself.  I’ll even knock a dollar of of each head & provide the Death Star cheese ball free of charge.  Do you know if anyone attending has food allergies?  The cheese ball comes two ways – boy (with nuts) or girl (no nuts).

Does your mom like to drink?  I’m a fan of blue milk & several alcoholic beverages.  Sometimes at night when I’m all snuggled up in my Tauntaun sleeping bag, my R2-D2 trash can is my only friend.  Sometimes I sleep with leftover chicken caesar salad in the bag, because Tauntauns apparently smell bad on the inside.  I imagine rotting chicken, mayo, & raw eggs would simulate that smell pretty well.  I’m drinking blue milk now, mixed with some bourbon.  Actually, the blue milk is eggnog with food coloring.  Aldi doesn’t carry blue milk, and they look at me like I’m crazy every time I request it, so I have to make my own.

Can I come to your party?  I really need this.  In fact, I’ve never made a chicken caesar salad in my life.  But, I found a few good recipes on COOKS.com and I’m willing to try.  OMGWTFBBQ is mainly barbecue as the name suggests.  I cook my chicken breasts in a modified Darth Vader toaster so they come out looking awesome.  Our ribs are delicious, they’re Mustafarian style, blackened with smoky seasoning.

Can I ask where you found my email address?  This all has me very excited.  I think I’m really drunk, so I should end this email before I become incoherent.  I really need your business.  Can you send some photos of your mom?  Does she need a date to the party?

May the force be with you, from OMGWTFBBQ to you, happy birthday mom!

-Waldo Lunar
Owner, Operator, Emperor
OMGWTFBBQ, Inc.

No more correspondence.  Apparently Mr. Smith has no patience, or just is the same person as “John” & “Lori” from the last 2 times and was exasperated at the onset.

It's a (mouse)trap!

I Googled "Death Star Cheese Ball" & this came up. |-o-|

Why do these people prey upon us here in the United States?  From the email, I hope English is their second (or 3th) language.  Are we seen as easy targets?  Are we more Gullible?  There’s more of us?  Is there general hatred towards our country?  Do any of these emails ever work?

So, who’s going to start a catering business with me called OMGWTFBBQ?

OMG.WTF?BBQ!

OMG.WTF?BBQ!

More scams abound: Tried scamming me twice this week. (page 2)

Seriously, about the cheese ball…  Someone tell my wife.  My birthday’s coming up.  Let’s go Death Star cheese ball instead of a cake.  I want some TIE-fighter shaped crackers too.  I don’t think she reads thins unless I call her attention to it directly.  Something about “I listen to your insanity all the time in person, you expect me to read it too?” is her (valid) argument on her blog reading stance.

The worst scammers ever try again…


You read the Chicken Caesar Wrap Scam post, right? This familiar assault came at my inbox again.  I wonder if Mr. Simson and Ms. Baker know each other, went to the same poorly taught “how to be an internet scammer” class, or are indeed the same person.  If they’re not the same person, at the very least they bought the same email list or scan bot program.

From: ray baker [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]
Date: On Mon, Dec 5, 2011
Subject: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: [blank?]

Hello

My name is Lori Sandra Baker and I would like to order individual grilled chicken Caesar salad in your restaurant,for 150 people on 13th of December and pick up time is 3 pm and it’s for my Dad’s Birthday Party and it will be picked up by Carrier Agent and I am ready to pay the full payment with my credit card so can you make the order for me on that date while you get me the grand total of the foods inclusive of the tax fee,get back to me with the total cost,you can also get back to me.

Regard

I wrote back with a similar response to last time (some parts blatantly cut & pasted – is it plagiarizing if you steal from yourself?):

From: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: lorisandra72@yahoo.com

Hello Ray & Lori,

Sounds like a great time! Would you like the salads in plain old salad form, or in Chicken Cæsar Salad wrap form? The wraps have been quite a hot item lately. May I ask where you found our humble establishment, and how you heard of our incredible Chicken Cæsar Salad? If you have a courier agent, I must assume you are quite fancy. Quite fancy indeed. I’m glad to have been noticed.

Would you like a full menu? We have quite a few price levels and advertising options to help keep the cost low. I also offer party planning, and discounts if I’m invited. (I don’t get out much, I’m always making Cæsar dressing and grilling chicken!) I could deliver, and we could do cash on delivery if that’s OK.

As far as pricing… Would you like to stamp your father’s name along with a happy birthday message on the outside of the wrap(s)? Advertising with printing directly on the wraps is standard for us, so it’s no big deal & not much of an extra charge for us to add a custom message. We feel that we must seize every opportunity to advertise.You heard of us somehow, right?

Currently we’re working on exciting “edible” advertisements that will pass through your system and remind you of our catering services upon their exit. They always come out (well, usually always), but they’re not always readable. We need to work on a smooth non-stick or oily surface that always floats. We hope to be the world leader in defecation-marketing!

I have a party theme idea for you too… Toga Luau. It’s going to be a thing, I tell you. It will be huge. Your dad can say “I had that party before it was cool.” I mean, brilliantly flowered togas? Let it simmer.

About the price… I like the show Pawn Stars. You ever watch? How about you give me a number that’s ridiculously low, and I’ll come back with an equally ridiculous high number, and we’ll negotiate.

Looking forward to your business!
-Waldo Lunar

From here on out there’s no mention of Ray, the name from the original email.  I hope Ray is OK, and not tied up in his basement.  At any rate, they continue:

From: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]

Hello

Thanks for the email Before you go Ahead i will like to Know if you accept Credit Card for Payment

Hope to hear from you asap

Regard

Regard, indeed.

From: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]

Hello Lori,

I can accept a credit card, I guess. I’m not sure if I like accepting credit card info. via email. Perhaps I should set up a PayPal account? From which of our locations would you like to pickup? I hear there are some shady people out there looking to grab cc info from emails.

Have you thought about the wraps, the advertising, the Toga Luau, and my invitation yet?

Also, come at me with a price!

OMGWTFBBQ,
-Waldo

Seriously, if I ever own a BBQ joint, that’s what I’m gonna call it. OMGWTFBBQ! Maybe OMG.WTF?BBQ! or something close. I bet there’s already one out there.

OMGWTFBBQ

OMGWTFBBQ

Unfazed, it goes on…

From: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]

i have Credit Card Not paypal ok

Getting testy?

From: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]

Hello Lori,

I believe that you can use credit cards via PayPal. OMGWTFBBQ, Inc. is concerned about your privacy & personal information. Credit card will be fine.

What price would you like for the order? What about advertising, & the toga luau?

Cialoha (get it Ciao + Aloha…?),
-Waldo

Heh. At least I find myself amusing.

From: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]

not interested

D’oh! I try to redeem myself, while trying to slightly up the ridiculousness. To what end, I have no idea.

From: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]

Hello Lori,

May I ask why you’re all of a sudden not interested? You seemed quite eager to give me your credit card information. I’m not sure why. Shouldn’t we discuss details of the order before we discuss payment?

You’ll be sorry for passing up my Hawaiian toga party. It’s going to be all the rage next year. My on-wrap & defecation advertising promised DEEP discounts, and you still can’t see that we’re a perfect match?

I’m sorry for lashing out. Can I still come to the party?

“Welcome to Costco, I love you,”
-Waldo

Who loves Idiocracy? Everyone does (or should). Maybe “Lori” is a fan.  Maybe she thinks I’m dumb enough to fall for this crazy scam.

From: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]

Okay

OK?  OK!

From: Waldo Lunar [world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com]
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2011
Subject: Re: Order for my Dad Birthday….
To: Lori Sandra [lorisandra72@yahoo.com]

Dear Lori,

OK I can come to the party? Sweet! Where is it? I already know the time and date.

Want me to bring a giant Chicken Cæsar Salad, or some individual wraps? Would you like any sides?

Toga! Toga! Toga!
-Waldo

…and no further reply. Heh. Apparently the projected profit has now outweighed the effort.

I did, however, recently gain some insight on the objective.  A member at The BBQ Brethren Forum, colonel00, posted a link to my Chicken Cæsar Wrap scam blog post, and apparently Mr. Simson & Ms. Baker get around… under a few different aliases.  Poster chachahut provided some insight on the type of scam:

This is a form of a Courier Grift.

The grifter – in this case the emailer or in some cases a person calling via TTD – wants a large order of food. Rather than having the joint deliver – they will be sending a courier. As the courier requires cash payment, they will ask you to charge the credit card an additional amount – usually a few hundred to $1000 – and wire the money to the courier service. Why do you have to wire it? Well, the grifter is in the hospital & cannot take it or wire it to them & the courier does not accept credit cards (yeah right).

Of course – there is no courier service. It’s nothing more than a receiving address for any one foolish enough to send the wire. Additionally – the credit card used it certainly stolen & will ultimately get rejected or the charges will be reversed.

The whole thread can be seen here: Tried scamming me twice this week.

Interesting.  Convoluted, but interesting.  Google didn’t turn up much for “Courier Grift”, but I did find these interesting/enlightening sites after altering my search terms slightly:

Crazy.  Hard to believe that anyone can be lulled into this one.  I mean there really are a lot of steps, and it’s got to be hard to gain confidence via email.  It must work if there’s still people out there trying it.

I wonder what the BBQ aficionado guys would think of my local BBQ joint reviews or chipped ham BBQ?

I won the lottery? “Giveaway Team® Asia” seems legit.


I WON THE LOTTERY!  Well, according to this email, anyway.  I mean, seems legit, right?  It’s pretty awesome, because I didn’t even enter any lotteries.

From: Giveaway Team® Asia <googlegiveawayteam.asia@shqiptar.eu>
Date: Tue, Nov 1, 2011
Subject: Google Asia alert: Your information has reached us today, kindly provided the required info.
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

The Google Malaysia Office:
Level 40, Tower 2 Petronas Twin Towers
Kuala Lumpur City Centre 50088 Kuala Lumpur
Malaysia. 
Tel : +60-103202061


Office Open 7 Days, 8am-6pm.
Date: 01 November, 2011.


Dear Winner (Googler),
You are welcome to the Google Giveaway Southeast AsiaDisbursement center here in Malaysia, I am DR. PETER AHMED, the Google Asia (Malaysia) Regional coordinator and processing officer for this year Google UK  Anniversary Giveaway Sweepstakes which was held in UK to commemorate our 13 years of existence , thank you for responding promptly to the notification mail you received from our UK Company promo announcer.Your winning details and email has reached us from our UK Office today as one of our 10 lucky beneficiaries whose claim fall within our disbursement booklet as indicated in your play coupon. Your e-mail address attached to Ticket #: 899-633/UK-11-001 with CGP # AS/MY/0010/011 drew L u c k y #: 9012-2449-4041(17) that was randomly selected by our Central Computer System under category A. This Promotion is organized by Google Organization (Australia,North America, South America, Europe, Asia and Africa) to commemorate our 13th Anniversary and also to say “Thank you” to all our regular Web Users Worldwide (who uses our Online Search Engine, our e-mail service and other online ancillary services) for joining us in expanding  the use of internet worldwide especially in ASIA and AFRICA  and also for making “Google Search Engine” & GMail the #1 Online Search Engine/Web-base Email Provider worldwide.

Please note that “No tickets were sold out” for this promotion but all email addresses were assigned to different t i c k e t numbers for representation and privacy. All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from exclusive list of 200,000 extracted email addresses of individual and corporate bodies from 45 Email providers companies from Australia, North America, South America, Europe, Asia and Africa as part of International Promotions  Program, which is conducted annually.

As indicated in your play coupon, your name have therefore been short-listed to claim a total sum of £850,000.00 GBP (Eight Hundred and Fifty Thousand Great British Pounds Sterling) from a total cash prize of £40,000.000 GBP shared amongst the first forty five (45) lucky beneficiaries in world-wide. Therefore, your prize payout is £850, 000 GBP which is approximately $1,390,913 US Dollars. Your claim shall be processed from this zone and your prize (Cheque) presentation shall be done at our office here in Malaysia or through our  affiliated Bank.
This giveaway sweepstakes promotion is approved by the British Gaming Board and also licensed by the International Association of Gaming Regulators (IAGR). To begin the verification process of your prize, you are   required to read through the options of claim and fill and provide the required information below:

Payment Option/Preferred Mode Of Payment

1 – Personal Prize Pickup:

All beneficiaries under the Asia claim zone are required to come down in person to personally pickup his/her Prize Cheque at any of our disbursement locations (cash pickup centers) here in Malaysia.
Requirements documents to come with for personal prize pickup are:
(a) An International Passport
(b) A tax clearance certification.
(c) Birth Certificate or Affidavit of age Declaration
(d) Police report attesting your patriotism and crime free citizen of your Country
Note: beneficiary(s) making use of this option must send the scan copies of the above documents along with the verification required information below. Beneficiary(s) who required invitation letter for Visa application (as  the case maybe) are required to forward the above mentioned documents scan copies via email to us to enable us process an Invitation Letter which would enable him/her obtain Visa in his/her country. claim deadline for this option is exactly 30 working days from today.
Inability for beneficiary(s) to meet up with this stipulated date either due to tight schedule, Official duties/engagement etc. may result to claim disqualification as funds will be re-used for other subsequent sweepstakes. This option is recommended to all our beneficiaries to clear doubts and unnecessary thinking as regard this Promo. This is because we have had series of complaints from individuals that people are using our company name for various forms of indecent acts. Thus, as a result of this we are advising our lucky beneficiaries to come over to our disbursement office here in Malaysia for personal prize pickup at no  cost.
2 – Bank to Bank Transfer:
Beneficiaries who can’t come down for personal Prize (Cheque) Pickup and wishes to have his/her prize via Bank transfer shall be referred to our affiliated Bank in-charge of international fund transfer . This option is an  alternative mode of payment basically arranged by the entire southeast Asia giveaway team for international beneficiaries who may not be able to travel down to Malaysia maybe due to tight schedule, Official duties/engagement, none availability of travel documents etc. which may result result to claim disqualification as previously mentioned above.
Note that the Give-Away Team Malaysia exempts itself from all related expenses when making use of this option, Our duty under this option is to deposit your prize Cheque (after issuance has been made in your favour) along with all claim backup documents (to be processed by this office) with our affiliated Bank for clearance and remittance to be carried out to your nominated bank account. This option is liable, affordable and basically designs for international beneficiaries who cannot visit us for person prize pickup.
====VERIFICATION REQUIREMENT====
***Complete the form below and send it back to us immediately via email***
First Name :…………………………………………………………………………………
Middle Name :………………………………………………………………………………
Last Name : ………………………………………………………………………………..
Date of Birth(YYY-MM-DD) :………………………………………………………….
Sex/Occupation :………………………………………………………………………….
Marital Status :……………………………………………………………………………
ADDRESS :…………………………………………………………………………………..
City/State/Province :…………………………………………………………………..
Country of Resident/Nationality:……………………………………………………
Telephone Number(s): ………………………………………………………………….
Mobile Number(s):………………………………………………………………………..
Fax Number(s):…………………………………………………………………………….
Winning E-mail: ……………………………………………………………………………
Alternate E-mail:………………………………………………………………………….
Date of Notification:……………………………………………………………………..
Ticket/ Lucky Number:………………………………………………………………….
Payment Option/Preferred Mode Of Payment.
Option 1: Personal Prize Pickup  {Yes/No} :………………
Option 2: Bank to Bank transfer  {Yes/No}  :……………….
We advice you on at this point to keep this information confidential until your prize is completely redeemed by you ,This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and impersonation by an unauthorized persons or companies which may automatically disqualify you from your prize claim.
For any question please call us on +60-10-320-2061
Once again accept our sincere congratulations!!
Sincerely,


DR. PETER AHMED.
Regional coordinator/Processing Officer,
Google Southeast Asia Disbursement Center

Metrodate is your local singles dating resource online

So, I tweeted..

http://twitter.com/#!/W_a_L_D/status/131355483993944064

Then wrote back…

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Nov 1, 2011
Subject: Re: Google Asia alert: Your information has reached us today, kindly provided the required info.
To: Giveaway Team® Asia <googlegiveawayteam.asia@shqiptar.eu>

Hello Dr. Ahmed!

I was unaware that I had entered any lottery.  What an exciting proposition!  Unfortunately, I am no longer a citizen of any formally recognized nation, and a personal pickup may be an issue.  I have currently used most of my life savings to fly myself to the lunar surface, and need what little I have left to have supplies ferried back & forth while I continue my quest for world (and lunar) domination.  This financial windfall comes at the perfect time, and assures me that whatever deity in which you believe is on my side.

I understand that it is not your duty to pay for getting the money to me, but perhaps we can make some financial arrangement where you agree to be paid out of a portion of my winnings.  I trust that you will find this arrangement satisfactory, as I will eventually be the Emperor of the Earth (and Moon) and you probably want to stay on my good side.  I may let you continue to run state lottery operations on the moon.

Of course, once I’m in control, 70% of the money gained from the lottery will go directly to me, 30% to the winner, and of that 15% will be paid back to us in taxes.

Here is your verification form:

====VERIFICATION REQUIREMENT====
***Complete the form below and send it back to us immediately via email***
First Name : Waldo
Middle Name :
L-ia (pronounced “Leh-dash-ee-ah”)
Last Name : Lunar
Date of Birth(YYY-MM-DD) : 10/31/1980
Sex/Occupation : Yes/Your Future Emperor
Marital Status : 13 wives & counting.
ADDRESS : 1313 Mockingbird Lane
City/State/Province : Sea of Tranquility, Waldominia
Country of Resident/Nationality : The Lunar Empire
Telephone Number(s): I abhor the telephone.
Mobile Number(s): Ditto.
Fax Number(s): None.  It is 2011.
Winning E-mail: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Alternate E-mail: worldandlunardomination@yahoo.com
Date of Notification: 11/01/2011
Ticket/ Lucky Number:
Ticket #: 899-633/UK-11-001 with CGP # AS/MY/0010/011 drew L u c k y #: 9012-2449-4041(17)
 

Payment Option/Preferred Mode Of Payment.

Option 1: Personal Prize Pickup  {Yes/No} : No.

Option 2: Bank to Bank transfer  {Yes/No}  : No.

Option 3: Personal Delivery by Lottery Officials  {Yes/No}  : Yes!

I can’t wait to go tweet about my Google lottery winnings!  My minions will be ecstatic.  We were deciding who will be eaten first were we to run out of money and supplies.  If we need to eat someone before the prize is claimed, perhaps we’ll have our own lottery!  I’m not sure if it will be as exciting as our current Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock tournament, but general Zod will be relieved as he’s currently at the bottom!

Thank you for your congratulations & your cooperation!

Respectfully,
Your Imperial Majesty Waldo Lunar
Future Emperor of the Earth (and Moon)
World (and Lunar) Domination

They were apparently unamused, as I have received no further replies.  They will not be allowed on the moon.

ComputerHotline - Lune--06-08-3 (by)

W(aL)D