Seriously; I’m not McDonald’s, but I will try to help.


It’s happening again.  Someone thinks I’m McDonald’s and that my website is printed on McDonald’s receipts.  This is the message that was in my inbox on Friday night:

From: Jay Culp <culp915@comcast.net>
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Friday, July 27, 2012 8:45 PM
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback

Name: Jay Culp
Email: culp915@comcast.net
Website: http://google
Message / Comment: I was up mcdonalds on walnut street in mckeesport bout 2 months ago they messed up my whole order i called up there took my name address was suppose to seed me coupons bout never got them order 2 big mac got big macs w tomatoes and order 4 mcchichens w kep only they had everything on them was just wondering how long i got to wait for my coupons.
How’d you find my blog?: on recreipt

Time: Friday July 27, 2012 at 8:45 pm
IP Address: ##.##.###.###
Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/
Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.

I wrote back with this:

From: Waldo Lunar world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Date: Mon, Jul 30, 2012
Subject: Re: W(aL)D Feedback
To: culp915@comcast.net

Hello Jay,

Sadly… I am not McDonald’s.  Well, sadly for you & many others… not so sadly for me.  Although, I would perhaps enjoy the salary of a sole McDonald’s executive let alone the company as a whole. Although, if you own Google like the website field suggests, you know what I mean, my friend.  You could by and sell my economically-challenged ass.

I guess though, that you apparently used Google to find my website.  Thisperplexes me though, and has on multiple occasions:

How’d you find my blog?: on recreipt”

I’m pretty sure that no area McDonald’s locations print my website address on their receipts.  If they do, they need to pay me for customer service services rendered.  After all, I do reply until the situation is resolved (on my end anyway).

I’m guessing that a manager’s email address (not a website) was printed on your receipt.  I’m guessing you Googled that email address and it brought you to my site because that address or a similar one appears on my blog.

As a general rule of thumb… if it contains the “@” symbol, it’s an email address.  A lot of websites are preceded by “http://&#8221; or “www.” but not always.  A website would end in “.com”, “.net”, .”org”, or something similar & would not contain any “@” symbols.

Entering either a website or an email address into Google will search for that website or email address.  If you’d like to go directly to the website, enter that into the address bar of your favorite web browswer.  If you’d like to email someone, enter their address in the “To:” filed of Outlook, other mail client, or in your webmail… however you choose to access email.

If you can reply to me with the exact text written on your receipt, I will be glad to write to McDonald’s on your behalf.  I have experienced some success in dealing with fast food companies & getting coupons or other free stuff.  We, the little people, must band together against such mega-corporations who want nothing more than to take our money and treat us like the cattle they serve.

Certainly two months is a reasonable time in which to receive coupons as an apology to poor service.  Your order seems reasonable… although correct me if I’m wrong but McChicken sandwiches don’t normally have ketchup and Big Macs don’t normally have tomatoes.  It’s an interesting flavor palette you bring forth.  I may have to try it.  Ever have a McChicken with the sweet & sour nugget sauce?  That is fantastic.  It’s even better at Wendy’s with their chicken sandwich & sweet & sour sauce.  And, if you’re not swept up in the current Chick-fil-A controversy, I’d go for their sandwich with the honey mustard sauce.  Some older crazy lady always tries to push the Chick-fil-A Sauce on me, but she’s nuts… the Honey Mustard is far superior.  Also, I still miss the Arch Deluxe… especially when it had round bacon… not Canadian bacon, but round normal American bacon… with black pepper.  That sandwich was the work of a genius.

I haven’t been to McKeesport in quite a while.  I was at a recording studio there years ago and someone’s car got broken into while we were all inside rocking out.  I had a drink or two at the Elbow Room that was across the street.  Funny name… although inside it had a nautical theme… which didn’t seem to fit the name.  I guess elbows everywhere would have been creepy.

I’m sorry, I seem to get off track easily.  I’m guessing you didn’t take the tiem to read my blog when you landed there after your Google search.  Instead, you went directly to the “Contact” page.  I like that.  I see you’re all business.  The title World (and Lunar) Domination at the top didn’t even deter you.

You might want to check out these blog posts though…

I can’t really offer up anything else as proof that ⓐ I’m not Mcdonald’s and ⓑ My website isn’t on the receipt.

I seriously would like to help out though, if I can.  If you could reply with a photo or scan of the receipt, or simply just type the address/phone/email address in the reply, I’ll write to them on your behalf… Cc:ing you and keeping you in the loop.  I tried to help Jane, but never heard if that situation was resolved.  Some people are just ungrateful for assistance, I guess.

I hope this message finds you well, and that you have a good day, my friend.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Excelsior!

Waldo Lunar
Professional Customer Service Liaison, Esq.
W(aL)D

P.S. – Ever want to “Crop-Dust” at a restaurant when people are being exceptionally rude?

A McDonald's McChicken sandwich.

A McDonald’s McChicken sandwich. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I wonder if I’ll get a reply?  I’d love it if this guy actually wants my help and provides a valid email address to someone at the McKessport McDonald’s.  How do you think they’d respond to a 3rd party?  They never did thank me for helping to get that one fryer-cleaner company paid.

Looks like you can actually contact the McKeesport McDonald’s via Webform: http://www.mcpennsylvania.com/2842/contact/manager/

But, how fun is that?  None at all, I say.

Really though, “I was up McDonald’s…” How Yinzer is that?  Fantastic.  Let’s hope that this isn’t another fake message, and that Mr. Culp writes back.

The Arch Deluxe composition from an advertisement

The Arch Deluxe composition from an advertisement (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I assure you, I am not McDonald’s.


McJokerIt’s happening again.  I still say it’s a fail of smart phones & tablet PC‘s in their navigation of the internet.  At least I hope that’s the problem.  It could just be that some people are really not that bright. Maybe it’s a reading comprehension problem.  They see a post about McDonald’s & complaints and they hit “contact” thinking they’re somehow contacting McDonald’s, blissfully unaware that the url in the address bar is https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/ and has nothing to do with McDonald’s.  I’m guessing that this is thanks to Google sending everyone who searches “McDonald’s” & “email” or “complaint” to me.  Maybe the magic words are “McDonald’s” & “Contact”?

Actually, my incredible WordPress site stats show me most of the search terms that people used to land on my blog today.  The culprits are most likely…

  • mcdonalds.customercare@us.mcd.com (3 searches)
  • ella.jones@us.mcd.com (1 search)
  • mcdonalds food tv advertisement (1 search)
  • mcdonalds hand washing procedures (2 searches)

As you’re reading this, can you say it with me?  Seriously, out loud.  Ignore the people around you as they look at you like you’re crazy.  Take a deep breath.  Say it with me:

Eric Carroll (a.k.a. ERiC AiXeLsyD, a.k.a. Waldo Lunar, a.k.a. Bronco Jalapeño) is not McDonald’s.  He does not work for McDonald’s.  Emails sent through the contact form at aixelsyd13.wordpress.com will not reach McDonald’s.  If I contact World (and Lunar) Domination inexplicably thinking that it is somehow related to McDonald’s (or Kmart), I will be publicly ridiculed on the internet.

I may have to put that on my contact page.  I’m guessing you won’t read it anyway if you’re crazy enough to send me an email without really reading anything else on my page.

If the stuff was coming right to my email address, I could almost understand it.  But, this is being typed into (or cut & pasted into) the contact form at my site… which looks like nothing related to anything on any McDonald’s website.  This most recent one is different in that this McDonald’s is apparently delinquent on a payment to a company that cleaned out their most likely disgusting dirty fryer.  This is much more serious than a simple screwed-up order or ignorant employee.  I’ll share it with you…

From: Jane Farrell <janef@malachymechanical.com>
To: █████████████@█████.com
Sent: Wednesday, May 2, 2012 3:08 PM
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback

Name: Jane Farrell
Email: janef@malachymechanical.com
Message / Comment: I sent you a message about Mcdonalds#14518 located at 1101 East Tremont Ave. in the Bronx, N.Y.  We went there to repair their frymaster fryer and they refuse to pay us. You sent me a email on 4/4/12 Ref#8770056 that you would send my letter to the regional office in my area. I haven’t been paid as of yet. I would appreciate it, if you could let me know if the store was contacted. Thank You so much, I do appreciate any help in getting this paid.

Jane Farrell, Malachy Mechanical
How’d you find my blog?:

Time: Wednesday May 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm
IP Address: ##.###.###.##
Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/
Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.

Insanity.  I had to write back, didn’t I?  Yes.  Yes, I did.  I even decided to offer some help to Jane in perhaps contacting the right person or people on the matter.

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
To: janef@malachymechanical.com
Cc: McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com; info@mcdonalds.com; ny.14518@us.stores.mcd.com; mcd.14518@us.stores.mcd.com
Sent: Thursday, May 3, 2012
Subject:
Re: W(aL)D Feedback [Sorry, I’m not McDonald’s.]

Hello Jane,

Unfortunately you’re mistaken, as you did not contact me earlier.  I am not McDonald’s.  I have simply blogged about McDonald’s & my interactions (or attempted interactions) with them.  For some odd reason, people keep landing on my website and contacting me, thinking that I am McDonald’s.  I assure you, I am not McDonald’s.  I don’t work for McDonald’s.  I don’t represent McDonald’s.  I can’t speak for McDonald’s.  I certainly can’t pay their bills.  I do sympathize with you though, as McDonald’s apparent ineptitude knows no bounds.  I am a blogger who makes light of their insanity with my own.  If you would like to follow my journey, please see the following blog posts.  They will help to prove & reinforce that I am not McDonald’s, and perhaps bring to light your own error in using my contact form instead of reaching out again to McDonald’s.

  • I AM NOT McDONALD’S – Like you, Harmony, Shirley, Amber, & Jeffrey mistook me for McDonald’s.  This post also links to my earlier correspondence with McDonald’s in case you are interested, as well as valid alternatives to actually contact McDonald’s instead of me, because I am not McDonald’s.
  • I’m still not McDonald’s. – I inform Harmony, Shirley, and Amber that I’m not McDonald’s.  Harmony remains unconvinced.  I unintentionally angered local McManager, Scott Kausky.
  • OK, maybe I am McDonald’s? – Harmony’s husband steps in to assure me that I am indeed McDonald’s, even though though I am clearly not.  Mr. Kausky calms down.  I create some graphics proving that I am indeed not McDonald’s, & I share a McAdventure.
  • s,pןɐuopɔɯ ʇou ɯɐ ı – Really.  I laid it all out one last time for Harmony & her McHusband.  They never responded after this.  Perhaps they finally got the message?  I disclose more McDonald’s contact options, as I am not McDonald’s and contacting me does nothing but further amusement for myself & my readers.
  • McConsistency is Key. – Apparently despite all the other blog posts, I’m still the place to go to complain about McDonald’s.

A bonus post, somewhat related:

A super-special extra bonus post:

  • I’m not Kmart. – While I’m not McDonald’s, I’m also not Kmart.  Perhaps McDonald’s customers & Kmart shoppers are the same demographic?

Perhaps you’re not interested in my blogs, but in exchange for you taking the time to read them I am prepared to help you in your plight for payment.  I have researched several ways for you to contact McDonald’s, none of which are the contact form located at my website.  Let us go through them together:

I hope that I have been able to provide some clarity, amusement, and even some actual help today (even though I am not McDonald’s).  Good luck in your quest, this is most certainly more annoying than the usual lack of ketchup packets or pattyless burger!  Have a nice day.

I am not McDonald’s,
-Eric Aixelsyd
World (and Lunar) Domination

Do you think she’ll write back?

Frymaster Fryer

Frymaster Fryer

McConsistency is Key.


Recently for lunch, I had a reconstituted-onion & cheese sandwich from McDonald’s with a little bit of beef on it.  It was extra special because it was pressed.  It was not like a panini press with grill lines, but more like someone sat on it.  There were also pickles stacked on top of each other, sticking out of the side.  Very artful & creative!

This wasn’t even from the West Liberty location.

I recently had a friend send one of his friends’ McTale-of-woe to me, because I have apparently become some sort of authority on all things wrong with McDonald’s customer service.

The reason I told of my recent adventure in lunch, is that it fits with the tale as told by someone who wishes to remain nameless, blameless, & shameless:

From: Pattyless Sandwich
Date: Wed, Sep 28, 2011 at 9:29 AM
Subject: The Day McDonald’s Shit All Over My Good Time
To: The Hamburglar

On Sept. 27, 2011 I went through the drive thru at McDonald’s on Mt. Lebanon Blvd. in Castle Shannon, PA. I ordered a number 4 (two cheeseburgers), and I asked for no onion. When I got back to my friends house and we started eating I noticed that the sandwich looked really thin but I just figured it was smashed down a little more THAN NECESSARY so I bit in anyway. As I was chewing, I realized something wasn’t right about what was being smashed around in my mouth. I set my sandwich down and removed the top part of the bun to see the following: slice of cheese on the bottom half of the bun, pickles, ketchup, and mustard. Yes, that is correct, there was no meat on the sandwich. Luckily I had another sandwich, that in fact had the patty, to eat, but they put onions on it. The only thing I asked them to void. Now I understand work is work and if you have a job to live then that is fantastic, but to be the person to put the burgers together at McDonald’s, I feel like you go through a training day to be shown how to assemble them. Bottom bun, slice of cheese (I’m guessing it is on the bottom so the burger melts it, let’s not get crazy this shit isn’t cooked together), HAMBURGER PATTY, and then your condiments. Who put mine together and thought “hm….this looks right. Nothing is missing, I am a brilliant fucking burger maker extraordinaire.”? It’s not a hamburger from a hamburger joint if there is no meat. To quote a smart fast food chain (rhymes with Shmendy’s), “Where’s the beef!?”

Sincerely,
Pattyless Sandwich

And, there’s even a Facebook photo:

Veggie Burger?

Veggie Burger?

Ridiculous.  At least this didn’t come through my contact form from someone thinking I was McDonald’s.

Friends, I seriously wish I could write to the McGiant on your behalf, but all of my insane yet legitimate complaints have fallen on deaf ears, blind eyes, or typical McCustomer-Service employees.

Check out my track record.  While I feel for you, maybe try their McPennsylvania site?  I can do nothing at this point but perhaps share in your misery, my freinds!

s,pןɐuopɔɯ ʇou ɯɐ ı


I wrote one last email to Harmony & her husband to try & clear things up.  I haven’t had a response yet, but I’m really doubting I’ll get one.  What do you think?

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Sep 9, 2011
Subject: Re: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: “krebs955@gmail.com” <krebs955@gmail.com>
Cc: shovelman11@yahoo.com, pastorskid_tiwtc4u@yahoo.com, pit.05834@us.stores.mcd.com, Ella.Jones@us.mcd.com, info@westliberty.mcdtoday.com, sandra.jaeger@gmail.com, rick.sapko@us.mcd.com

Hello Harmony & Harmony’s Husband,

I’m going to try this one more time…  I am ERiC AiXeLsyD.  I write a goofy blog.  You didn’t email me.  My email address is world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com (please see the “From” field of this email for reference).  It doesn’t say “world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com” on the top (or bottom) of a McDonald’s receipt.  You almost had me on this.  I actually had to go to this McDonald’s to check, because I really did believe that “The reason [you] posted on [my] blog is because it was on the bottom of our receipt” as stated in your last email.

Obtaining the receipt was actually quite a harrowing experience, but I survived.  Thank you for your concern.  Please, see the scanned images at the links below (also attached) if you don’t believe me:

As you can see, it also does not say https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com at the top (or bottom) of the receipt, which is my blog’s URL.  It also does not list my email address as noted above.

It does list Rick Sapko as a manager (not me), and give the email address ella.jones@us.mcd.com (also not me).  I’m just trying to let you know that if you were trying to contact ella.jones@us.mcd.com, you have unfortunately been unsuccessful in doing so.

You contacted me by using the form located at https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/ (also a url, not an email address).  I know this because WordPress is quite an ingenious blogging platform, and emails that come to me through that web form have the subject line “W(aL)D Feedback”.  You may also remember filling out fields that you don’t normally have in an email client, like “Message / Comment” and “How’d you find my blog?”

What I believe has happened is that you searched Google or Bing for “ella.jones@us.mcd.com” instead of entering it into an email client.  This landed you at my blog.  I’ve tried it with both.  A search for her email address does indeed point you to my blog.  From there, you somehow found your way to the contact page… and we know the rest.  I’m just trying to help.

I see you have a Gmail address.  Being that it’s an email address you were trying to use and the weird set of circumstances, I’m assuming you found my blog with your Android phone.  Put the phone down.  I’d suggest finding a computer, and going to http://mail.google.com, logging in, clicking the “Compose Mail” button, and pasting “ella.jones@us.mcd.com” into the “To:” field.  Then, you may type away in the big blank box, and click “Send” when you’re done.

That is how you email Ms. Jones (and not me) regarding the insanity that abounds at the West Liberty Avenue McDonald’s.  I have to warn you though, she doesn’t really reply to emails.  At least not my emails, anyway.  I hope this helps.  I’m just trying to facilitate the expression of dissatisfaction with this Bermuda Triangle of fast food service.

I do, however, encourage your comments on my blog… as long as they’re directed to me, and not at McDonald’s.  I don’t mind the ones aimed at McDonald’s, but they fall on deaf ears.  I don’t think anyone at McDonald’s reads or cares about my blog.  If you would like to complain about McDonald’s to other people that aren’t McDonald’s, check out McSucks.com and McDonaldsSucks.com some time.  I would also encourage a review on UrbanSpoon.

Harmony’s Husband… I speak this as a consumer.  Please, please, please…  take pride in your work, and convince others around you to do the same.  Encourage burgers built with pickles in the middle, an amount of reconstituted onions that does not resemble a White Castle burger, and ketchup only on the inside of the bun… not the outside.  Encourage the politeness of the people working the cash register.  Encourage those taking orders to not do things like this…

McEmpoyee:  May I take your order?  (In some areas closer to downtown, this greeting is reduced to a wordless look, implying “What?”)
Me:  Hi.  I’d like two Crispy BBQ snack wraps, a lar…
McEmployee:  [Interrupting] Crispy or Grilled?
Me:  Um…  Crispy.
McEmployee:  Do you want Ranch or Honey Mustard?
Me:  Uh..  BBQ?
McEmployee:  OK.  Your total is…
Me:  [My turn to interrupt…]  Can I also get a large fry and a Sweet Tea?
McEmployee:  [Usually rolls eyes and.or sighs about here…]  What size fries?
Me:  Large please.
McEmployee:  You want a drink?
Me:  Yes.  Large Sweet Tea?  (If I say a size, I’m usually told there is only one size.  If I don’t say a size, I’ll be asked what size.)
McEmployee:  For here or to go?
Me:  To go, please.
Mc Employee:  [Sets tray on counter.]  Slide your card.  (Maybe the total is read here.)
[Food comes, & McEmployee, McFry-Technician, or McManager sets it on tray.]
Me:  Sorry, can I get that to go?
McEmployee:  [Looks at receipt.  It’s a 50/50 on whether it notes dine in or to go.  Puts food in bag.]  Here.
Me:  Thanks!

This has happened to me on more than one occasion at more than one location.  I hope you work at a competent location, like the one in Canonsburg.

Good luck getting through to Ms. Jones.  I haven’t been very successful in that matter.  I have four email addresses associated with the west liberty McDonald’s location.  You may want to try each of them…

Good luck on your quest, I hope this has finally expressed my point in an understandable manner.  A quick recap: My email address & blog URL are indeed not on a McDonald’s receipt.  You didn’t email me, you used the contact form on my blog.  I am not McDonald’s.  You didn’t email the address listed at the top of a McDonald’s receipt.  You used the contact form on my blog.

Do you want the combo, or just the sandwich?
-ERiC AiXeLsyD
World (and Lunar) Domination

McReceipt 09/07/2011

I don't see my email address or blog url on here anywhere. Do you?

Trust me, I am not McDonald's.

Trust me, I am not McDonald's.

s,pןɐuopɔɯ ʇou ɯɐ ı | Just in case you’re lost…  This is the latest in this round of chaos that involved people contacting me, apparently thinking that I’m McDonald’s.  I think they’ll all pop up in the “related articles” section below.

I’m guessing the four McEmail addresses listed above have a block on my world.and.lunar.domination email address., and I’m guessing Harmony, her husband, Shirley, and Amber are done with this.  I am too, until the next person emails me thinking that I am indeed McDonald’s.

OK, maybe I am McDonald’s?


Just kidding.  But Harmony and her husband are convinced that I am indeed McDonald’s, and that Harmony is a certified technological genius.  More on that later.

I was convinced by my friends & followers online to write to Mr. Kausky after his suggestion of thanking a soldier for the freedom to choose fast food.  If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you need to read “I AM NOT McDONALD’S” and “I’m still not McDonald’s“.

McDonald's on UrbanspoonAt any rate, this is how I chose to respond to the good-natured manager of the Canonsburg McDonald’s:

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, Sep 7, 2011
Subject: Re: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: Scott Kausky
Cc: pit.05834@us.stores.mcd.com, info@westliberty.mcdtoday.com, sandra.jaeger@gmail.com, krebs955@gmail.com, shovelman11@yahoo.com, pastorskid_tiwtc4u@yahoo.com, Ella.Jones@us.mcd.com, McDonaldsCorporation@mcd.com, McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com, kathy.pieroni@us.mcd.com

Hello Mr. Kausky,

Pardon me if I’m misreading the tone of your email, but please calm down.  Have some dip.

My inclusion of you on the original email was because I’ve had pleasant dealings with you & your McDonald’s location in the past.  I’m convinced that you were instrumental in finally getting a response from Ms. Jones the last time I had an issue with the West Liberty Ave. McDonald’s location.  I read you as a man of action, with great pride in your company.

Perhaps you would be better off at a Chick-Fil-A?  They seem to treat their employees better, and you’d never work on Sundays.  You may not be so stressed & jumpy.  Ever notice they always say “My Pleasure” instead of “You’re Welcome” when you thank them?  I can’t decide if it’s awesome, or cult-like.  I’m pretty sure that no one at any McDonald’s ever has acted like it was their pleasure to give me a lopsided cheeseburger.  (Seriously, spot-check that stuff.  I haven’t done a formal study yet, but I’m guessing that 75% of the time, the pickles are stacked on one side of the burger, not placed side-by-side in the middle… and that 95% of the time, there is ketchup and/or mustard on the outside of the bun.)  Although, I have never seen an alarm clock with a subliminal cow penis at McDonald’s… even if you have poorly copied the Chick-fil-A sandwich.

I have four email addresses for people representing the West Liberty Ave. McDonald’s.  None of them have replied to my original email.  This shows lack of pride.  I’m sure you would be disappointed in their lack of response.  That’s…  pit.05834@us.stores.mcd.com, info@westliberty.mcdtoday.com, sandra.jaeger@gmail.com, & Ella.Jones@us.mcd.com.

I’m a concerned citizen, trying to help the confused yet adamant Harmony get in contact with the correct people.  Amber & Shirley need my help too.  Their complaints are valid, and think about this… out of the entire internet that exists out there… these people have managed to find my blog to submit complaints about what I can call possibly the most incompetent McDonald’s location ever.  It’s not their fault that they can’t tell that I am not McDonald’s.

Harmony has her own issues, as she can’t distinguish between an email address and a website… but that doesn’t change the fact that she was not offered a mango pineapple smoothie, and it took 15 minutes to get her additional sandwich and Rolo McFlurry while ¾ of the crew members where congregating by the drive-thru.  (Hopefully they weren’t conjugating… right?)  A mango pineapple smoothie sounds absolutely disgusting, but if Harmony wanted to be offered one that’s her right.

Speaking of rights, I’m not sure how I provoked the antagonistic patriotism and perceived lack of disrespect for our armed forces and freedom.  I apologize if I have offended you in any way.  Were you watching the History channel, election coverage, or perhaps drinking when you received my email?  (I’m not judging, I would imagine one would have to partake in the occasional sip of spirits in order to cope with the stress of running a McDonald’s on top of receiving emails from crazy people.)  

I am indeed glad that I have the freedom to rant about customer service issues and fast food quality on the internet.  You’re right though, I will indeed thank a soldier the next time I see them.  You’ll have to promise to instruct your fellow McDonald’s managers and employees to thank a soldier next time they see them too.  They need to thank them for the freedom to serve poorly constructed sandwiches, cold french fries, and for opportunities to congregate by the drive-thru while paying customers wait (im?)patiently.  While we’re at it, they should thank them for the freedom to dumb-down the populace by changing words like “through” to “thru” and “Night” to “Nite”.  I’m not positive, but I can only assume such offenses would not go unpunished in the former Soviet Union or current Communist blockades like China, one of the Koreas, or Cuba.  I can imagine one being caned in a Singapore McDonald’s for congregating by the drive-thru, or having ketchup fall on the outside of a bun.

At any rate, I would like to share with you my overall adventures in correspondence with McDonald’s.  I hope to amuse and amaze you in chronological order below:

Just so you don’t feel bad, check this one out:  Wendy’s in Dormont (Pittsburgh, PA) – W. LIBERTY #5

I hope you took the time to read all of the comments.  I am not McDonald’s, and I am not alone.  There are more (albeit less electronically vocal) of me out there.  We will not remain silent.  We will continue to consume your poorly assembled meals while grumbling under our breath.  We will contunite to have a mental block when it comes to actual time spent waiting for “fast food” to be prepared & served versus the perceived speed of choosing to dine at such establishments.  We will continue to craft poorly worded and misspelled messages and send them to the wrong people.  We will celebrate the fact that we have the freedom to do all of the above.

So, we have arrived to now.  What’s happening now, is happening now.  I hope you have enjoyed the ride.  Please keep all arms, legs, & other appendages inside the car until it comes to a complete stop.  Thanks for flying W(aL)D Airlines, may the force be with you.  (..and also with you, Amen.)

Your baffled consumer advocate,
-Eric AiXeLsyD
World (and Lunar) Domination

Heh.  I decided to go goofy at the end.  I got his reply, and have decided to leave this poor man alone.  Why?  He actually takes pride in his McDonald’s,  and seems to have a rare killer work ethic:

From: Scott Kausky <skausky33@verizon.net>
Date: Wed, Sep 7, 2011
Subject: Re: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>

Eric
I didn’t send the email you to upset you either.  I represent my McDonalds.  I was just stating the fact that our soldiers give us the freedom to complain.  I’m old fashioned perhaps, if I continued to have issues, I would simply not return.  Thats how I run my store.  We don’t want them to go else where so we do it right and fix the issues that arrive.  The stores that have issues generally might be due to the town they are in.  I appologize if no one responds to your emails.  All I know for sure is come visit in Canonsburg and I’ll make it right for you.  I enjoy my job and serving our customers.  Please dont use my email for any other reason.

With Respect

Scott Kausky

Respect is right.  Misguided patriotic rants aside, Scott Kausky is the man.  I encourage you to support this McDonald’s location.

We still have the little matter of harmony being convinced that I’m McDonald’s.  You can imagine my surprise as this came to my inbox slightly before Scott’s reply above:

From: krebs955@gmail.com <krebs955@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, Sep 7, 2011
Subject: Re: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>

I don’t have much to say about all this McDonald’s stuff, because I work at one currently and everybody else has said it. However, I will say that Harmony is my wife and she has no issues whatsoever. The reason we posted on your blog is because it was on the bottom of our receipt. She is not technologically challenged, and shame on you for assuming what other people’s problems and issues are.

Upon the arrival of this gem in my inbox, I was kind of speechless.  I was also paranoid.  Did they indeed pimp my blog’s address at the bottom of a McDonald’s receipt?  I would have declared this an absolute win for Ella Jones, Sandra Jaeger, and everyone else that doesn’t reply to emails at the West Libery Ave. McDonald’s.  I mean, really, how funny would that be?  Along those same lines… if this is a friend or reader yanking my proverbial crank; Kudos!  You totally got me.

If this is for real, then may God have mercy on your souls, …and mine for teasing you.  Can someone please help me explain this?  I thought I did that with my last blog post/email with the lines..

But, I must say that I’m confused.  You didn’t email anyone, you used the contact form at my website: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com

Is that what appears at the top of the receipt?

I’m guessing that more than likely it says “ella.jones@us.mcd.com” at the top of your receipt.  I’m not Ella Jones.  You didn’t email me.  You didn’t email Ella Jones.  You did a Google (or Bing) search for the email address, and landed on my page.

McReceipt 09/07/2011

I don't see my email address or blog url on here anywhere. Do you?

Can someone help me simplify that?  Should I even bother at this point?  I’m confused.  Just in case Harmony or her husband find their way back here, I did have to satisfy my curiosity.  I stopped & got two sweet teas tonight, just to get a receipt.  You can seethe full receipt to the left.

It thankfully (and I’ll admit… somewhat disappointingly) does not include my email address or my blog’s web address.

Which one of my theories do you think is the case here?  Do you think they found my blog, & were insulted?  I mean no disrespect.  I’m just trying to help here.  At this point, I’m assuming Shirley and Amber will remain clueless until the end of time.  I have yet to receive a reply from either of them, and doubt I will.  And, I doubt that I’ll ever hear from Ella Jones or Sandra Jaeger.

I also hope that Harmony’s husband doesn’t work at the West Liberty McDonald’s, and that her going online to complain (“complaine”?) about his corporate employer doesn’t cause some sort of marital rift.

Perhaps a visual aid will help demonstrate:

Trust me, I am not McDonald's.

Trust me, I am not McDonald's.

I don’t think I’ll ever convince them.  Think I can get a McDonald’s hat or something?  Maybe a name tag?  Something?  Perhaps I should just start writing back to people pretending that I am indeed McDonald’s.

McDonald's on Urbanspoon To compound & confound even more, this is what happened on my latest adventure into this McDonald’s on a mission to obtain a receipt & ultimately verify that I am not McDonald’s:

I pulled into the parking lot somewhere around 8:30pm and the lot was quite full.  Most of the cars in the lot were at the outer edge, toward the bottom of the lot, and most likely there for Malone’s Too or Señor Frog’s or whatever that bar is called this week… blatantly ignoring the signs to the effect of “McDonald’s Parking Only” or whatever.  I even saw a guy walk out of the bar into his car.  Oh well, that’s not really in their control… or is it?

The drive through lanes were both backed up pretty hard, and I’m sure people were cutting in front of each other unhindered as usual… so I opted to just pull into a parking spot & go inside.  Bad move?  Perhaps.

Once inside, I took my place in line behind a woman and her daughter at the one open/operating register, and a lone dude in front of me.  The woman & daughter were mid-order, and there was something going on about apple pies being dropped (in what I can hopefully assume was the fryer) and only one pie being avaiable.  They were told there would be an approximate 10 minute wait, but that “it goes fast”.  The woman slid to the side as her daughter went to fill their drinks, and I assume find a table.

While this was happening, I saw another McDonald’s employee come up to a register, glance annoyedly at me and the dude in front of me, hit some buttons, then walk away.  I’m sorry.  Do these employees know that to make money, McDonald’s sells what they pass off as food… and that in order to pay her salary they need to sell vast amounts of lopsided hamburgers with ketchup all over the outside of the bun?  I was surprised at how backed up things had become as the drive-through appeared quite frantic & another potential customer came in behind me during a completely non-meal-rush time of day.

Leaving the sole struggling fellow employee at the line register kind of seemed like what I would call a “dick move“.  Alas, the mother moved to the left, and slid her tray containing rapidly cooling french fries along with her.  Up next?  Dude in front of me.

Dude must have also ordered apple pies… as he was told they just dropped.  When he asked what that meant, he was told that it meant there would be a ten minute wait for apple pies.   Was the young lady at the register trying to use a Jedi mind trick to dissuade the man from ordering apple pies?  I’m guessing that she was simply telling a customer that they didn’t want what they ordered.  I honestly don’t know why anyone would want to order one of those nasty mucus-like hot-pockets that are supposed to resemble a pie… but if he was willing to shell out his hopefully hard-earned cash for them, I say give them to the man!  Order begrudgingly placed, and man moves to the left… overcrowding the woman with her lone order of increasingly algid fries.

I was up!  Finally.  I was asked what I wanted to order, I requested two sweet teas.  I was actually told “Oh, thank you for being an easy one” much to the dismay of the dude directly to my left.  He was visibly not amused.  I struggled to internally process what had caused such dismay in the poor girl behind the counter as I was handed my receipt… but I was (and still am) at a loss.

Mission complete.  I had a receipt in my hand.  My name, email address, and blog url are not on the receipt.  Success!  “Just give me my cups” I thought, as the girl walked away.  A kid was leaving his shift… she told him goodbye and proceeded to walk over and talk to the remaining employees about how popular the departing employee was this evening.  It somehow turned into a rant about thinking that someone was going to come through the drive-through window at her.  Perhaps some other unsatisfied customers earlier this evening?

Then one of the other employees told the girl who had taken my order that it was time for her break.  “Break?” she exclaimed, and started to leave.  The one with some semblance of sanity said “but first I need you to take care of all these orders.”

I tried to shift to my left, but apple pie guy was holding his ground as I blatantly invaded his personal space.  Perhaps his movement was hindered by the woman in front of him with ice fries.  The woman behind me was a champion.  She pushed ahead to the register like a metal fan in a mosh pit.  I think her purse touched my bum.  I just want some cups.  The girl who took my order looked at me quizzically.  Perhaps I looked befuddled.  I know where the drink station is.  I know how to get ice.  I know how to work the knob on the iced tea dispenser.  I just need two of those Styrofoam sweet tea cups.  At this point, any cups will do.

Steely in her resolve to go on break, or perhaps obliviously, she took the order of the woman behind me.  Snack wraps.  She broke the code.  No apple pies.  Smart move, purse push lady.  Smart move.  The order was punched in, and she started to yet again walk away.

“C… Can I just have some cups?”  The words were out of my mouth before my brain knew that I was forming them.  I don’t know if I was anxious, or this was my flight response in order to remove myself from the chaos all around me.  The girl who took my order paused, and looked at me.  I’m sure ice fries and pie guy looked at me too, wondering why I should get my hands on some sweet tea before they were handed their precious disgusting pies.  For a split second, I was almost scared.  Had I crossed a line?  Had I invoked the wrath of a McDonald’s employee mere moments late for her break?

Relief.  She grabbed two Styrofoam cups and filled them with ice, then went back to her conversation about the drive through window or something that seemed to annoy her fellow employees.

The girl who had looked at us with disdain earlier while tapping a few buttons on the register reappeared, and asked ice fries what she was waiting for.  Ice fries lady (who’s daughter probably had come to terms by now that she was surely abandoned) said something to the effect of… “I’m waiting for pies, but can I have my sandwiches now, & have someone bring out the pies?”  This was like a record skipping in a TV show.  Several employees stopped and looked at her.  I’m not sure if there was an answer… but I did hear that “the pies would be ten minutes.”  Surely three to five of those ten minutes had already passed, but who was I to argue?

“Hooolllly coooowww!”  I did it again.  The words escaped me before I could contain them.  Damn you, Ernie and the Berts practice, for amping me all up.  By this point, I was looking around for hidden cameras.  Was I on a TV show?  I think I heard pie guy say “I know” but perhaps he feared the wrath of a pie-less future as it was almost imperceptible.

I was handed my iced teas… I’m guessing the tea dispensers over by the pop machines aren’t filled at night?  Makes sense.  Even though there was one of me and I ordered two drinks…  I wasn’t offered a drink carrier.  I wasn’t handed straws or napkins.  I sure as heck wasn’t going to ask for any.

I hastily made my was over to the condiment & drink station, got some straws & napkins, then walked back past the counter to the exit, ice fries, pie guy, and snack wrap lady still there… probably envious of my escape to sweet freedom.

I couldn’t help it.  As I walked by, I muttered a sing-song like “♪♫ Good luuu-uuck… ♪♫” to my fellow McConsumers.  I hope they were amused.

Eu não sou McDonald’s. Ich bin nicht McDonald’s. Io non sono McDonald’s. Jag är inte McDonalds. Je ne suis pas McDonald’s. Jeg er ikke McDonalds. Mimi si McDonald ya. Nem vagyok McDonald’s. Nid wyf yn McDonald’s. Nie jestem McDonalda. Níl mé McDonald’s ar. Non est McDonald’s. Yo no soy McDonald. Δεν είμαι της McDonald’s. Я не Макдональдс. אני לא מקדונלד ‘ס. मैं मैकडॉनल्ड्स नहीं हूँ. 저는 맥도날드 아닙니다. 我不是麦当劳。 私はマクドナルドではない。

I’m still not McDonald’s.


The McDouble, a cheeseburger from McDonald's.

Image via Wikipedia

Have you heard that I’m not McDonald’s?  I decided to write to my new friends in McNeed, and I got a great response out of Harmony.  She is apparently convinced that I am McDonald’s.  I got a somewhat puzzling response from Scott, the manager of the Canonsburg store.  I’ll share what’s transpired.  This is me, trying to clear up the message…

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 1, 2011
Subject: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: krebs955@gmail.com, shovelman11@yahoo.com, pastorskid_tiwtc4u@yahoo.com
Cc: pit.05834@us.stores.mcd.com, Ella Jones <Ella.Jones@us.mcd.com>, info@westliberty.mcdtoday.com, sandra.jaeger@gmail.com, skausky33@verizon.net

Hello Harmony, Shirley, & Amber,

 Thank you for taking the time to write to me!  While I understand your frustrations with your McDonald’s visits, I have to say… I am not McDoanld’s.

 I’m not sure how you all arrived at using the contact form for my website whilst thinking the message was going to McDonald’s.  While I applaud your vigor, it is sadly misdirected.  I do however feel that it would be an injustice if I left the messages fall upon deaf ears (or blind eyes as it were).  So, I am copying this message to the known addresses of several people representing the McDonald’s location on West Liberty Avenue in Dormont.  Hopefully they will follow-up with you directly about your respective incidents; runny oatmeal, lack of napkins & ketchup, lackadaisical manager (Jeff), and all.  Chaos apparently still abounds at this location.  It’s been quite some time since I have been there.

If you’d like to know what I’m talking about, or where this email is from… I encourage you to check out my blog:  I AM NOT McDONALD’S.  It also contains other avenues to explore (namely Twitter) should this email prove to be no help.

Until then, since the nearby Wendy’s is under construction and possibly worse than this McDonald’s, I encourage you to try Dormont Dogs, SLICE on Broadway, or Tom’s Diner.

Good luck in your journey form consumer advocacy to customer satisfaction, may you be amused along the way, & find what you’re looking for eventually.  Consider me your GPS.

 Don’t argue with the Garmin,
-ERiC AiXeLsyD
World (and Lunar) Domination

Simple enough, right?  Harmony is not convinced:

From: krebs955@gmail.com <krebs955@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 1, 2011
Subject: Re: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>

That is interesting since your e-mail address is on the receipts there lol.

It was almost immediately followed by this:

From: krebs955@gmail.com <krebs955@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 1, 2011
Subject: Re: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>

Thanks for the helpful info though.

Can someone get me a receipt from that place, just so I can be sure?  I’m guessing that Harmony is using a phone, and thought she emailed Ella Jones… & didn’t realize she was using my contact form.

I’ve had positive interactions with Mr. Kausky before.  Apparently my repeated use of “I am not McDonald’s” pushed a button.

From: Scott Kausky <skausky33@verizon.net>
Date: Wed, Aug 31, 2011
Subject: Re: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>

Dear Sir,

I am also NOT MCDONALD’S.   I do however, represent the Canonsburg McDonald’s.  I can assist you with anything from that perspective.  I might suggest however, to take the time and thank a soldier that gives us the freedom to criticize in the land of the free and be thankful that we can peacefully drive down the street and stop by and pick up a quick meal if one so desires.

 Thank You.

Scott is apparently unamused by my insolence.  The reason I copied him is that he’s the only one who gave a response before, and seems to actually take pride in his store.  I believe it also helped get a response from Ms. Jones.

I don’t know where thanking a soldier came into play.  I never voiced any disrespect for the government or military.  Both of my grandfathers fought in WWII, my dad served in the army, and I have uncles that served in the Marines & Air Force… as well as many other friends & extended family members who have served in active duty much more recently.  I appreciate all of their service, and the fact that I’m here and able to whine about the quality of fast food service because of them.

If we’re invoking patriotism inappropriately here: Maybe the next time a McDonald’s employee is screwing up an order, they should thank a soldier that they have the freedom to screw up that order.

I haven’t written back to Mr. Kausky yet, but I did fire this off to Harmony & company:

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 1, 2011
Subject: Re: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: “krebs955@gmail.com” <krebs955@gmail.com>
Cc: shovelman11@yahoo.com, pastorskid_tiwtc4u@yahoo.com, pit.05834@us.stores.mcd.com, Ella Jones <Ella.Jones@us.mcd.com>, info@westliberty.mcdtoday.com, sandra.jaeger@gmail.com, skausky33@verizon.net

Hello again Harmony,

No problem for the contact info, good luck in your quest for customer satisfaction!

But, I must say that I’m confused.  You didn’t email anyone, you used the contact form at my website: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com

Is that what appears at the top of the receipt?

I’m guessing that more than likely it says “ella.jones@us.mcd.com” at the top of your receipt.  I’m not Ella Jones.  You didn’t email me.  You didn’t email Ella Jones.  You did a Google (or Bing) search for the email address, and landed on my page.

If it does say “https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com” at the top of a McDonald’s receipt, I’d love to see a photo of that.

Rock on!
-Eric

No response as of yet from Harmony, Shirley, or Amber (who all thought or still think that I was/am McDonald’s) …and of course as expected no response (to me anyway) from Ella Jones, Sandra Jaeger, Rick Sapko, or anyone representing the West Liberty Ave. McDonald’s.

Should I write back to Scott & try to clear things up?  Should I leave well enough alone?  I know that pressing Sandra, Ella, & Rick will get me nowhere.

I AM NOT McDONALD’S


I am not McDonald’s.  I’m just sayin’.  This isn’t the 1st time this has happened.  I got this message in my inbox today:

From: Harmony Krebs <krebs955@gmail.com>
To: me_at_my@email.addre.ss
Sent: Wednesday, August 31, 2011 6:59 PM
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback

Name: Harmony Krebs

Email: krebs955@gmail.com

Website:

Message / Comment: First, the oatmeal was filled to the top with water and extremely runny. The order taker didn’t offer a mango pineapple smoothie, and when I went back up to order an additional sandwich and small rolo mcflurry, it took 15 minutes to get them. There was only one guy taking orders, while 3/4 of the crew members were over by the drive through just talking and congregating.

How’d you find my blog?: It was on my receipt.

Time: Wednesday August 31, 2011 at 6:59 pm

IP Address: ##.###.##.###

Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/

Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.

Odd.  You may remember this gem:

From: shirley kelly
To: me_at_my@email.addre.ss
Sent: Tuesday, August 2, 2011 7:33 PM
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback

Name: shirley kelly

Email: shovelman11@yahoo.com

Website:

Message / Comment: went in Imperial store on Aug. i,2011, the service was horrible . They acted  as if they were doing us  a favor by waiting on us .There were no napkinks out , no containers for ketchup  both myself and  another had to ask for napkins,  when they gave them to us  it was like an effort to do so  The management at night is horrible

How’d you find my blog?:

Time: Tuesday August 2, 2011 at 7:33 pm

IP Address: ###.###.###.###

Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/

Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.

Really weird.  I AM NOT MCDOANLD’S.  I think I see what’s happening here, at least with the message up top.  See if you can follow along with me…

  1. Where I started my “WTF?” journey was the line “How’d you find my blog?: It was on my receipt.”  Um, I highly doubt that https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com was on your receipt.  So, we go to the next step…
  2. The WordPress stats page is awesome.  The only McDonald’s-related search term that landed someone on my blog today was “ella.jones@us.mcd.com“.  Avid readers know that Ms. Jones’ email address does indeed appear at the top of a receipt.
  3. What we’ve learned is that Ms. Krebs above has typed “ella.jones@us.mcd.com” into Google, and discovered my blog.  Luckily for Ms. Jones, the 1st for things that pop up (today anyway) send people to my blog.
  4. Here is where we have to make some educated guesses.
    1. Ms. Krebs thought that all my ramblings about McDonald’s were some sort an official complaint form.
    2. Ms. Krebs is unable to distinguish a web browser from a mail client (or webmail, as it is a Gmail address), or an email address from a URL, which could break down (even further) to…
      1. She thought ella.jones@us.mcd.com was a url, and the contact form on my site was to contact McDonald’s.
      2. She thought that by typing the email address “ella.jones@us.mcd.com” into the Google or Bing search bar, she was indeed sending an email.
    3. Ms. Krebs thought she was commenting on my blog, & instead of using the “Leave a Reply” box at the bottom, she hit the contact link at the top.
    4. Ms. Krebs has a Smartphone, and no idea how to use it.

That was fun, wasn’t it?  Do you think I’m close?  I may have to change to look of my comment page to let people know who I am, and that I am not McDoanld’s.

I do love the interaction.  As a blogger I feed off of comments, replies, and feedback.  I do appreciate & empathize that you were so wronged by McDonald’s that you feel the need to express your frustrations via written electronic communication.  I totally get that.

If you have had a bad experience, and want to vent… please, I encourage you to share the experience (hopefully with a humorous bent) here with me & all the other people who’s McDonald’s-related Google and Bing searches have led them to my humble corner of the internet.

That being said, there are a plethora of comments on my blog: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave. – Brookline/Beechview/Dormont)

A lot of those comments seem to be directed at McDonald’s.  I am not McDonald’s.  I try to reply to each commenter to let them know where to direct their anger… but they must not have checked the “Notify me of follow-up comments via email” box while they commented or ever check back, because they never seem to get my reply.

Wow.  As, I’m typing this blog… I got something in my inbox that is so amusing I’m going to pee my pants:

From: Amber Ross <pastorskid_tiwtc4u@yahoo.com>
To: me_at_my@email.addre.ss
Sent: Wednesday, August 31, 2011 10:01 PM
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback

Name: Amber Ross

Email: pastorskid_tiwtc4u@yahoo.com

Website:
Message / Comment: Hello, i would like to inform you that i have visited your store twice today and both times the service has been extremely slow and very disappointing.  Both times i have waited twenty minutes in line and both times it was for something small. The line had at least eight people in it, that were not helped and the manager (Jeff) was at the drive thru window drinking a pop and not caring that people were waiting. i also would like to inform you that i will not be returning to your store along with my entire family. Thank You.

How’d you find my blog?:

Time: Wednesday August 31, 2011 at 10:01 pm

IP Address: ##.###.##.###

Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/

Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.

Seriously?  Is someone playing a joke on me, or is my website really at the top of McDonald’s receipts?  Ha ha.

I hope your disgruntled McSearch leads you here, because, I’d like to let you know that (say it with me)

I am not McDonald’s.

If you would like to read my McDonald’s-related ramblings, may I suggest the following?

If you’d like to contact McDonald’s, there’s a myriad of ways you can do so, although I cannot guarantee you a satisfying reply (or a reply at all):

McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.):

McDonald’s #4856 (Canonsburg):

The McDonald’s Twitter Team plus a few more:

Here are even more contacts, gathered from my Comments:

Oh man, I forgot about this genius:

jeffrey s miller jr | December 17, 2010 at 12:51 am | Reply | Edit

I was very unhappy with my visit from store 10848 delmont 6526 route 22 pa the servise was the worrise that i ever had and i had only had three things two frys and a fish sandwitch and i had a pice of chees on mu fish and the frys where cold and when i asked for ketchup they said i had to pay for it pleas email me back or i will call and complaine

Jeffrey; I am not McDonald’s.  While we’re at it… “sandwitch” & “complaine“?  …and “worrise“?  You clearly have issues to address, my friend.  Best of luck with that.

Wow.

Please, share your experience below (but, note… again, that I am not McDonald’s)!

I’d also love any theories on how/why peopel are using my contact form and comments sections… thinking I’m McDonalds.  (Which I’m clearly not.)

The McSaga Continues (…A reply from Ms. Jones!)


Perhaps this is the end more than a continuation.

I wrote back to Mr. Kausky & received another reply.  I pushed again with Kty_McD and received an actual reply from Ella Jones at Mc5834.  Perversely, I hope when I read in the seething anger between the lines that I’m not wrong.

I’ll try to lay it out in Chronological order…

from ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
to Scott Kausky skausky33@verizon.net
date Mon, Jul 26, 2010
subject Re: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)
mailed-by gmail.com

Hello Scott,

I would like to first thank you for your replies.  I can tell by the look of your location and the attitude of the employees that great pride is taken in the operation of your McDonald’s.  Your emails have confirmed it!  I’m generally amazed at how quickly I can get in & out of the Canonsburg location at lunch time when it is usually quite packed.  Quality/taste of the food aside, generally one goes to McDonald’s with convenience and speed being at the top of the priority list.

I was hoping to write back to you to tell you that I had been contacted by Ella Jones or someone else at the West Liberty Avenue location… but I cannot.  I didn’t want to wait too long in replying to you to say thanks.  Thanks for proving that all McDonald’s managers/owners/operators/customer service reps are not apathetic, and thanks for your involvement in perusing this customer service issue which is mostly unrelated to you!

I have also followed up via the contact form at the McDonald’s website, and with a Katy (@Kty_McD) via the McDonald’s Twitter Team.  Both to no avail thus far.  They must really have issues other than the obvious over in Beechview if they’re not even responding from other franchise owners or from a corporate push.  I can tell you that they have received my last dollar, no matter what the outcome.

I hope that no offense is taken when I say that you seem to operate more like a Chick-fil-A manager than a McDonald’s manager.  I hate to stereotype, but they generally have a more pleasant disposition as a fast food chain.  They also respond quickly and positively to customer service related emails.  They usually have quite the hands-on approach in special promotions every night of the week and the way things are run.

Your drive-thru traffic direction cones/poles are a great idea… I don’t know why they’re not standard issue in all split drive-thru locations.  It’s amazing that people would cut up and around.  Are they totally blind to the lines on the ground?  I’m always amazed at how some people think that they’re better than the rest of us, or the rules don’t apply to them.

I hope that you’re able to push the inside queue line issue with success in the future.  I certainly don’t see anything wrong with it.  It works for amusement parks, the bank, Wendy’s, & Burger King.  With the multiple entrances in your store, and with people standing back waiting for their orders to be filled, it can be quite confusing to know who’s next.

I will keep you posted on a resolution with store #5834 (if there ever is one), thank you for your time & effort!

-Eric

And then..

from Scott Kausky skausky33@verizon.net
to ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Mon, Jul 26, 2010
subject Re: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)
mailed-by verizon.net

Eric,

Thanks again.  It amazes me because they would be all over us, (the operator) community if any complaints are not closed out.  I have placed a follow up email to  our business consultant.  One day, when I work my way up to president, I’ll have a direct line to my office.  I understand that everyone is busy, but at the end of the day, its the customers like you who put the pay in payday.  If I can ever assist you in the future, please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely,
Scott Kausky
General Manager

Scott is all over that!  I seriously wish him luck in is race to become McPresident, and I hope he gets those queue lines installed.  It keeps one grounded to know that your pay is ultimately coming from customer satisfaction.

Here’s the reply that we’ve all been waiting for (apparently it was emailed to my alternate email address on Thursday… still over 2 weeks after my original message):

From: Jones Ella <ella.jones@us.mcd.com>
To: World(andLunar)Domination <worldandlunardomination@yahoo.com>
Cc: “West Liberty (pit.05834@us.stores.mcd.com)” <pit.05834@us.stores.mcd.com>
Sent: Thu, July 22, 2010
Subject: RE: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)

Hi Eric,

Thank you for taking the time to communicate about the West Liberty McDonald’s.    Something will be done about the Jiffy Lube.  We are waiting on a new tenant.  The building interior choice was made based on what some customers like.  I understand not all customers like it and your feedback will help McDonald’s as they plan to design other locations.  Thank you for the feedback.

We are working on the speed issues, the food quality issues, and the customer service issues at this location.  We have support coming in to help us become the “well oiled”  operation that we need to be.  Thank you for taking your time to point out our issues—this certainly helps us get better.

Sincerely,
Ella Jones

If you need a refresher, click here to read my original email to Ms. Jones(And note in the comments that others have had similar experiences there!)

I feel like Ms. Jones didn’t read past the Brady Bunch comment… although we did get a “well-oiled”  quote from the last paragraph.  I’d love to meet the focus group that liked the new McDonald’s layout/design.  Did they know it was for a McDoanld’s or did they think it was for a fruit stand in a 70’s movie?

  • There was no mention of the incorrect breakfast sandwich or explanation of how that happened.
  • There was no mention of the crazy double-drive-thru traffic patterns.
  • No mention of the Canonsburg store used as a good example.
  • No mention of the spongy rubbery egg-like substance.
  • No mention of the race for the “sloth” title with Wendy’s.
  • No mention of the ridiculous wait time or stress-induced customer telepathy.
  • No mention of the cardboard-like McNuggets.
  • No mention of what the nuggets contained before they were “all white meat”.
  • No mention of my admitting that I was wrong.

Are my emails too long-winded?  I guess I know the answer to that..  But still… if we’re getting into percentage of questions asked vs. questions answered (not even assigning a quality to the answer), we’re not even getting a passing grade here!

Id love to know just how many “you need to answer this email” emails that Ms. Jones received.  I encourage you to also write if you’ve had a bad experience there. It would be even better if you share it with us.  I’d love to post other letters of dissatisfaction.

I’m guessing that my pressing the issue further really isn’t going to get me anywhere.  She doesn’t seem like the type to comment on the spongy rubbery egg stuff or mystery meat McNuggets.  It will be interesting to see if orange cones appear in the drive-thru down there.

Perhaps one day they will actually get their act together.  I bet not, but perhaps.

McTweeting


So, I have another avenue for contacting (or nagging) the apathetic McFoodChain down the street.  Not only can I email them directly (albeit to no avail so far), submit a tattle-tale on a corporate level (also to no avail so far), & email their fellow managers.  I can tweet them.  McDonald’s has a Twitter Team.

Still not hearing from the local MdDud of a management and/or customer service team in Beechview, I reached out again in a more attention-grabbing manner:

@McDonaldsFans Any thoughts on these #Pittsburgh area #McDonald‘s locations? http://wp.me/pwqzc-in

@kim_mcd @George_McD @McCafeYourDay @McDonalds Any thought on how this McDonadl’s should be handled, #McDonaldsFans? http://wp.me/pwqzc-in

@Nick_McD How would you handle the drive-thru & queue situation(s) here? http://wp.me/pwqzc-in

Hello, @AboutMcDonalds! Do these company policies sound correct? http://wp.me/pwqzc-in

@yilovemcdonalds This is a reason to love http://wp.me/pwqzc-in this is a reason to hate http://wp.me/pwqzc-hX They need to get it together!

And, then I got a DM from @AboutMcDonalds:

AboutMcDonalds Hi – yes, our customer sat team should respond to you w/in 24 hrs. Thx for checking. ^LM

Yes.  They should, but they didn’t.  Apparently AboutMcDonalds is missing the point.  But, they’re not following me, so I couln’t DM them back. Another public tweet:

@AboutMcDonalds Got your DM, couldn’t send one back. What happens if they don’t respond? What about the greater issue?

No answer on that one. So, a few more…

#icantstop laughing at #mcdonalds http://wp.me/pwqzc-in & http://wp.me/pwqzc-hX — They need to get it together! @CocaCola

@McDonalds Is this a good representation of the average McDonald’s? http://wp.me/pwqzc-hX Or is this more like it? http://wp.me/pwqzc-in

@George_McD Is this a good representation of the average McDonald’s? http://wp.me/pwqzc-hX Or is this more like it? http://wp.me/pwqzc-in

#icantstop laughing at #mcdonalds http://wp.me/pwqzc-in & http://wp.me/pwqzc-hX – They need to get it together over at @McDonalds in @15216!

RT @NathanFillion Dear McDonalds, U are poisoning the world with yr food & thx 4 a delicious breakfast. I hate you. http://wp.me/pwqzc-hX

While a lot of my tweets directly to the McTwitter Team went unanswered, someone that I didn’t even message directly seemed to have caught a theme to my tewwets. Katie (Kty_McD) did seem to pickup on my frustration.

Kty_McD @W_a_L_D Hey, I saw the blog/tweets can you follow me so that I am able to DM you? Thanks, Katie from McD’s

You read my blog?  Score!  Ha ha ha.  Again with the DM’s…

Kty_McD Great! Ill do everything I can to help, I read the blogs, but to be sure store #05834 is the one you haven’t heard from correct?

W_a_L_D Correct! The one on West Liberty Ave. in Beechview (Pittsburgh, PA 15216) Thanks in advance!

Kty_McD Thanks for that info, I have the case number pulled, email still the best way to reach you?

W_a_L_D Yes please, thanks! world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com – You rock!!!

Kty_McD Thanks so much for tweeting out to me, I reached out to that store, please let me know if you don’t get a response. Have a great weekend : )

W_a_L_D I appreciate the response from you, but I’m not holding my breath for their reaction!

…and thus ends the twitversation so far, bringing us all up to date.  Still no response from Ms. Ella Jones (or anyone else from) McDonald’s #5834.  I do feel like I need to write back to Mr. Kausky though.  He deserves to know that he has my utmost respect, and that I still have yet to hear from the McDud in my neighborhood.

I’d like to send a big sarcastic “good job” to @AboutMcDonalds for dropping the subject like a hot potato (unless it was passed on via you or you’re the same person as @Kty_McD and that’s how her attention was brought to me), and especially to @McDonalds, @McDonaldsFans, @kim_mcd, @George_McD, @McCafeYourDay, @Nick_McD, & @yilovemcdonalds for not even responding to my direct tweets.

McSatisfaction


So, have you read my “day in the life of McDonald’s #5834” blog yet?  If not, read that one first, or this will make absolutely no sense.  Not that there was much sense to start with.

In that email, I mentioned the McDonald’s in Canonsburg with a similar drive-thru setup as an example of how things ought to be run.  Apparently you can’t always assume that people are going to do the right thing when waiting in line or following lines painted on the ground are concerned.  Heh, that is so ridiculous, I need to copy & paste it for effect.

Apparently you can’t always assume that people are going to do the right thing when waiting in line or following lines painted on the ground are concerned.

McDonald's on Urbanspoon Done laughing?  OK, let’s move on.  There is someone who works for McDonald’s that gives a damn.  He is the manager of the McDonald’s that also serves as a memorial to Perry Como, Bobby Vinton, and the Four Coins.  Mr. Scott Kausky not only took the time to write back to me once, but twice… and get this… both replies came in the same day of my email to him!

This man is to be applauded for his efforts.  I’m waiting.  Please.  Clap.

OK, first, my note to him…

From: ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Date: Wed, 21 Jul 2010
To: skausky33@verizon.net
Subject: Fwd: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)

Hello Mr. Kausky,

I would like to thank you for the inclusion of your email address at the top of your McDonald’s receipts.  It is a policy that your brothers-in-franchise at the McDonald’s in Beechview on West Liberty Avenue have recently adopted.  Sadly, though, for them it is useless.  I have written to them over a week ago, to no avail.  I believe that they’re beyond reach via email… or that they just really don’t care about customer satisfaction.  I hope that’s not the case with you!

The reason I’m writing to you is that I mentioned your restaurant in my email to them as an example of how to operate… and wanted to hear your thoughts on the issue.  Pehaps you can review the email below and come up with a few ideas.

Do you have any contact with the managers at that location?  Perhaps you can be the Jedi Master to their Padawan.

Thank you in advance for your time, I can’t wait to hear from you!

-Eric

…which was of course followed by the original email.

His 1st reply…

from Scott Kausky skausky33@verizon.net
reply-to skausky33@verizon.net
to ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Wed, Jul 21, 2010
subject Re: Fwd: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)
mailed-by srs.bis.na.blackberry.com

Eric

Its unfortunately the store I operate is privately owned. I have pride in the store that I run and this is why I provide my email address. The email get sent directly to my blackberry that I pay for. This is not something that is provided by my operator or McDonald. I care about my customers as they are the ones who pay my check and when I have unsatisfied guests it affects my bottom line as well as my crew.

Mcdonalds.com will also have a guest satisfaction email as well as a 800 number which should get you to someone that is involved with that particular location. Once a complaint or praise is posted it is then emailed to the operator or supervisor of that location and they should respond within 24 hours. This is the policy mcdonalds enforces on the private owner stores. I also copied your email to the owner of my store to see if he can get you in contact with the appropriate person.

I apologize that your having these problems and will assist you to try to fix it.

Thanks for being a loyal mcdonalds customer.

Scott Kausky

His 2nd reply…

from Scott Kausky skausky33@verizon.net
to ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Wed, Jul 21, 2010
subject Re: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.)
mailed-by verizon.net

Eric,

I have to apologize again, when reading your email, my blackberry only showed half of your email  I’m at home now and read the full thing.  I have also copied Linda Cumer, who is my business consultant.  She is paid by McDonald’s Corporation.  She will have better contact then anyone to work on resolving these issues.  In reference to the traffic cones, I appreciate the fact that you like the ideas.  I had a customer a month ago give me an hour lecture on why I should eliminate them.  I made the decision to have them in place to keep the cars lined up.  I would also install a q line like you see at an amusement park to keep the same thing happening on the inside with guests who try to cut lines, but was told I wasn’t allowed.  I hope I have assisted you and us to get these problems corrected.  Please let me know either way if someone does or doesn’t contact you because I want the Arches to shine even if I do only have a small role in it.

Thanks Again,

Scott Kausky
General Manager

Genius.

Mr. Kausky is obviously intelligent, thoughtful, and full of great ideas.  He ought to be working for Chick-fil-A!  I can excuse the somewhat confusing email via Blackberry, and hs ignoring my Star Wars reference.

Why shouldn’t there be lines like in the bank (or Burger King or Wendy’s) so that the actual next person is next, not the a-hole who cut in front of them?

I really can’t express my drive-thru complaints successfully unless you’ve ever been to that type of drive through.  I really need to work on some illustrations to convey the full extent of my frustration.  The customer that wanted the cones removed is an assclown.  The only reason he  (or she) would want them removed is so he (or she) could cut in front of others in line.  What makes him (or her) so special?  Does he (or she) also park in handicapped spaces?  I bet he (or she) does.  I would like to hear just one rational reason for their removal.  I bet it can’t be found.

Of course, these only touch on the host of problems at the West Liberty Avenue McDonald’s.

This guy wants it resolved though, as a true honest-to-goodness hard worker with a correctly aligned set of values where it comes to running a business and how to treat people.  I started this off on a goofy note, but hate to mess with this guy… he really wants an issue resolved.  And now, dammit, so do I.  He explained his point of view, his situation, and told me that he was forwarding the message to two separate individuals to try and see if he can get something resolved that doesn’t affect him in any way whatsoever.  Scott Kausky is a champion among men, I tell you.

Honestly, up until this point I saw it going nowhere.  I mean, did you see the comments on my other post?  No one gets good service there, ever has, or most likely ever will.

We have, however, learned some invaluable and interesting corporate mantras from the big McD.  Did anyone else find these statements to stand out?

  • “Once a complaint or praise is posted it is then emailed to the operator or supervisor of that location and they should respond within 24 hours. This is the policy mcdonalds enforces on the private owner stores.” –  O, RLY? Hmm.  They definitely didn’t meet that.  We’re going on 336 hours pretty soon here.  So that McDonald’s is poorly run on a whole bunch of different levels.
  • “I would also install a q line like you see at an amusement park to keep the same thing happening on the inside with guests who try to cut lines, but was told I wasn’t allowed.” Wasn’t allowed? Ridiculous.  The general manager doesn’t have the power to create order out of chaos in his own restaurant?  McNazis, I tell you.  I’ve been there at lunch time.  This would improve the line situation immensely… especially with multiple entrances.  McCorporate McChaos.  Shame on you, McDonald’s, for keeping this man down.  To me, this says McDonald’s doesn’t care if people cut in line, if you’re aggrivated, or cheated.  You don’t matter.  Just your money does.

So, today we have learned some things.  We already knew that the West Liberty Avenue McDonald’s hates you.  We learned that McDonald’s is overbearing and into micro-management as a general attitude.  We know now that certain stores have a blind eye turned on them, as any semblance of corporate monitoring would have them completely overhauled and/or shut down.

Most importantly, we learned that there is at least one last good man working for the McDonald’s corporation who has a strong identity with the cherished Golden Arches, and wants you to respect that identity.

Now, I really can’t wait to see where this goes form here.