From: Waldo Lunar <email@example.com>
Date: Mon, Nov 14, 2011
Subject: Re: W(aL)D Feedback
I see that more companies are hiring people in your position to figure out the best ways to use social media to their advantage. What a great thing! I have had some excellent interaction with Nate Riggs of Bob Evans. I have even had great dealings in the past with Lori Smelt at Boston Market.
I have a goofy email sending online persona, now named Waldo Lunar… that keeps clashing with the real me. It’s ever more impossible to separate the real from the absurd. Ha ha.
I have asked for the T-shirt sized of the other dudes in my band, but I’m not sure if their ideals would support such blatant corporate sponsorship. We are, after all, a punk rock band at heart. Then again, what’s more punk rock than doing the exact opposite of what a good punk rock band should do? Also, I’m just a Bert, so I must clear things with Ernie.
I’m not sure that the band, Ernie and the Berts, is family friendly. Despite this perhaps somewhat misleading name… we’re prone to spew forth occasional potty humor, sexual innuendo, and movie-Tourette’s-like bouts of profanity. Also, don’t ever eat Ernie’s soup. This has not stopped the interest of other yet-to-be-named possible corporate sponsors.
For your review and entertainment, I do however submit the following videos:
I trust that you’ll laugh, cry, and share with friends.
I’m glad that they have someone with some wit and intelligence monitoring Facebook for Boston Market. In 2011 (soon to be 2012), I feel that it’s extremely important for a company to use social media for important feedback regarding the perception of their brand & service.
I’m quite glad that you’re interested in the catering battle-royale! Unfortunately, I haven’t had any takers from the Panera Bread camp. In fact, I believe their policy is to ignore my emails from now on, or that I have been perhaps stifled by their in-house spam filtering system. I haven’t received so much as a “thanks for your interest” or even a “please stop emailing us.” They haven’t used Facebook to the advantage that you now have. Although, they did reply (uninterestingly) to a tweet. Do you perhaps have any professional colleagues at Panera that you could cajole into action? Since Batman Movie night has come & gone, my wife & I have discussed the possibility of a Back to the Future or Indiana Jones movie night.
(I assume that your interest is in a catering battle, and not the literal scuffle for a single dollar?)
Perhaps, with the lack of interest from Panera Bread, we could involve Bob Evans? Surely, your meal offerings are more in line with them, rather than some paltry soup and sandwiches? How would you feel about your chances against them? Maybe Panera needs to lie low in the media, in light of recent events that happened nearby.
You can send a goodwill token of appreciation for my new adventurous advertising ideas, if you end up using any of them. A commission check would be nice also. I excel in the ridiculous, but am unsure how to make a profit from such ridiculousness. Following the model put forth by advertising within the walls of where one is currently doing business, I figured it would be OK to ask in this email.
How do you feel personally about unabashed advertising for catering service while you’re currently in the place, already spending your hard-earned dollar? Let’s face it, at the brisket meal hovering around $10, I can go to a local diner for less and not be slapped with advertising while I sup. I go to Boston Market for the tasty meals, (perceived) speed of service, and glittering hope of consistency.
Imagine picking up a bottle of Coca~Cola at a convenience store, and on the label, it tells you to go buy a 24 pack of cans, 2-liter, and/or six-pack of bottles. At the moment, you’re interested in quenching your thirst… not stocking your ‘fridge or obtaining a caffeine high. Not a perfectly parallel predicament, but food for thought nonetheless.
I would like to thank you for your interest and the response to my insanity. I can’t wait to see how this plays out. Can you think of any other catering battle participants? Perhaps we can put together a rock n’ roll show rather than just a small movie night…
I’ll let you process all of this, and get back to me on your own time with your thoughts.
-ERiC AiXeLsyD (a.k.a. Waldo Lunar)
Now, how to get Panera Bread to bite? This isn’t rhetorical. I’m actually looking for your advice.