Seriously; I’m not McDonald’s, but I will try to help.


It’s happening again.  Someone thinks I’m McDonald’s and that my website is printed on McDonald’s receipts.  This is the message that was in my inbox on Friday night:

From: Jay Culp <culp915@comcast.net>
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Friday, July 27, 2012 8:45 PM
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback

Name: Jay Culp
Email: culp915@comcast.net
Website: http://google
Message / Comment: I was up mcdonalds on walnut street in mckeesport bout 2 months ago they messed up my whole order i called up there took my name address was suppose to seed me coupons bout never got them order 2 big mac got big macs w tomatoes and order 4 mcchichens w kep only they had everything on them was just wondering how long i got to wait for my coupons.
How’d you find my blog?: on recreipt

Time: Friday July 27, 2012 at 8:45 pm
IP Address: ##.##.###.###
Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/
Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.

I wrote back with this:

From: Waldo Lunar world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Date: Mon, Jul 30, 2012
Subject: Re: W(aL)D Feedback
To: culp915@comcast.net

Hello Jay,

Sadly… I am not McDonald’s.  Well, sadly for you & many others… not so sadly for me.  Although, I would perhaps enjoy the salary of a sole McDonald’s executive let alone the company as a whole. Although, if you own Google like the website field suggests, you know what I mean, my friend.  You could by and sell my economically-challenged ass.

I guess though, that you apparently used Google to find my website.  Thisperplexes me though, and has on multiple occasions:

How’d you find my blog?: on recreipt”

I’m pretty sure that no area McDonald’s locations print my website address on their receipts.  If they do, they need to pay me for customer service services rendered.  After all, I do reply until the situation is resolved (on my end anyway).

I’m guessing that a manager’s email address (not a website) was printed on your receipt.  I’m guessing you Googled that email address and it brought you to my site because that address or a similar one appears on my blog.

As a general rule of thumb… if it contains the “@” symbol, it’s an email address.  A lot of websites are preceded by “http://&#8221; or “www.” but not always.  A website would end in “.com”, “.net”, .”org”, or something similar & would not contain any “@” symbols.

Entering either a website or an email address into Google will search for that website or email address.  If you’d like to go directly to the website, enter that into the address bar of your favorite web browswer.  If you’d like to email someone, enter their address in the “To:” filed of Outlook, other mail client, or in your webmail… however you choose to access email.

If you can reply to me with the exact text written on your receipt, I will be glad to write to McDonald’s on your behalf.  I have experienced some success in dealing with fast food companies & getting coupons or other free stuff.  We, the little people, must band together against such mega-corporations who want nothing more than to take our money and treat us like the cattle they serve.

Certainly two months is a reasonable time in which to receive coupons as an apology to poor service.  Your order seems reasonable… although correct me if I’m wrong but McChicken sandwiches don’t normally have ketchup and Big Macs don’t normally have tomatoes.  It’s an interesting flavor palette you bring forth.  I may have to try it.  Ever have a McChicken with the sweet & sour nugget sauce?  That is fantastic.  It’s even better at Wendy’s with their chicken sandwich & sweet & sour sauce.  And, if you’re not swept up in the current Chick-fil-A controversy, I’d go for their sandwich with the honey mustard sauce.  Some older crazy lady always tries to push the Chick-fil-A Sauce on me, but she’s nuts… the Honey Mustard is far superior.  Also, I still miss the Arch Deluxe… especially when it had round bacon… not Canadian bacon, but round normal American bacon… with black pepper.  That sandwich was the work of a genius.

I haven’t been to McKeesport in quite a while.  I was at a recording studio there years ago and someone’s car got broken into while we were all inside rocking out.  I had a drink or two at the Elbow Room that was across the street.  Funny name… although inside it had a nautical theme… which didn’t seem to fit the name.  I guess elbows everywhere would have been creepy.

I’m sorry, I seem to get off track easily.  I’m guessing you didn’t take the tiem to read my blog when you landed there after your Google search.  Instead, you went directly to the “Contact” page.  I like that.  I see you’re all business.  The title World (and Lunar) Domination at the top didn’t even deter you.

You might want to check out these blog posts though…

I can’t really offer up anything else as proof that ⓐ I’m not Mcdonald’s and ⓑ My website isn’t on the receipt.

I seriously would like to help out though, if I can.  If you could reply with a photo or scan of the receipt, or simply just type the address/phone/email address in the reply, I’ll write to them on your behalf… Cc:ing you and keeping you in the loop.  I tried to help Jane, but never heard if that situation was resolved.  Some people are just ungrateful for assistance, I guess.

I hope this message finds you well, and that you have a good day, my friend.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Excelsior!

Waldo Lunar
Professional Customer Service Liaison, Esq.
W(aL)D

P.S. – Ever want to “Crop-Dust” at a restaurant when people are being exceptionally rude?

A McDonald's McChicken sandwich.

A McDonald’s McChicken sandwich. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I wonder if I’ll get a reply?  I’d love it if this guy actually wants my help and provides a valid email address to someone at the McKessport McDonald’s.  How do you think they’d respond to a 3rd party?  They never did thank me for helping to get that one fryer-cleaner company paid.

Looks like you can actually contact the McKeesport McDonald’s via Webform: http://www.mcpennsylvania.com/2842/contact/manager/

But, how fun is that?  None at all, I say.

Really though, “I was up McDonald’s…” How Yinzer is that?  Fantastic.  Let’s hope that this isn’t another fake message, and that Mr. Culp writes back.

The Arch Deluxe composition from an advertisement

The Arch Deluxe composition from an advertisement (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dynamite Dud


Original DuPont gunpowder wagon at Hagley Muse...

Free cart with purchase over $25?

Well, if you were afraid that anyone was going to break the stereotype of large corporations soullessly replying to emails with automated responses, or the stereotype about librarians not having a sense of humor… you may rest easy tonight, my friends.

Some of you (thankfully) found the Farming with Dynamite booklet as humorous as I did.  Some of you even enjoyed my webform submission to DuPont.  Apparently DuPont did not find my email the slightest bit amusing.  I didn’t get so much as the digital equivalent of a chuckle from the historical library where they referred me.  Neither of them seemed disturbed but it, either.

From: DuPont Inquiry Management Center <find.info@usa.dupont.com>
Date: Fri, Oct 28, 2011
Subject: DuPont Reply: Hagley Museum & Library
To: “world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com” <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>

In response to your inquiry: Hello,

I recently found your “Farming With Dynamite: A Few Hints to Farmers” handbook online, and found the concept quite interesting.  I hate shovels, and most power tools.  I’d like to plant some tomatoes and maybe a squash vine in the back yard next year… and think that this dynamite could come in handy!

For reference: http://www.fourmilab.ch/etexts/www/dupont/FarmingWithDynamite/Mimage01.html

Page 11 of your booklet said to write for the “Handbook of Explosives for Farmers, Planters, & Ranchers”.  I believe the book predates the used of zip codes, and wasn’t sure if snail mail would get to you at the provided “address”.  So, I decided to search online.  Plus.  I’m lazy.  I didn’t want to buy stamps, and get a cramp while writing a letter with a pen.  See where this dynamite thing may come in handy when planting a garden?

Do you have a hand book of explosives for the casual gardener?  I can try scale down the big stuff if need be.  I’m sure my neighbors would appreciate some restraint.

What are your thoughts on using explosives to get rid of garden pests like rabbits, groundhogs, deer, and even (here in the city) rats?

At 56¢ average for stump removal in my area, I’m confident I can save time and money planting vegetables next year!  Maybe I can do some carrots and bell peppers too?

I see that “Farming With Dynamite” was printed in 1910, have  explosive farming techniques progressed much since then?  I would like some literature on the latest blasting technology.

Does the “Red Cross” dynamite mentioned in your book have anything to do with the Relief/Aid organization, or is it just an unfortunate similarity?  I hear 99¢ of each dollar donated goes to line the pockets of their CEO.  Ridiculous.

I look forward to your thoughts and advice, I appreciate that you have offered this information at no cost.  It shows that you are a company that cares about the common man!

Thanks for writing. The Hagley Museum & Library is home to all historical information related to the DuPont Company. For assistance, please contact the musuem directly:

Hagley Museum & Library
Eleutherian Mills – Hagley Foundation
Post Office Box 3630
Greenville, DE 19807
Phone: (302)658-2400
Website: http://www.hagley.lib.de.us/
Contact Info: http://www.hagley.lib.de.us/contact.html

We hope this will be of some assistance.

Regards,
DuPont Inquiry Management Center
Wilmington, Delaware USA
http://www.dupont.com/
800-441-7515
302-774-1000

So, I sent this on top of the forwarded response form Dupont.

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Oct 31, 2011
Subject: Fwd: DuPont Reply: Hagley Museum & Library
To: info@hagley.org

Hello Esteemed Keepers of Information,

I recently wrote to DuPont inquiring about a booklet on Farming with Dynamite, and they have directed me to you.  Can you help out with the request below, my friends?

Excelsior!
-Waldo Lunar

———- Forwarded message ———-

I got this from the library:

From: Linda Gross <lgross@hagley.org>
Date: Mon, Oct 31, 2011
Subject: FW: DuPont Reply: Hagley Museum & Library
To: “world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com” <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>

Mr. Lunar-
You will find that our library contains historical information about dynamite in our collection.  We have no information on current farming techniques.  You are welcome to search through our holdings in our online catalog at www.hagley.org/library.  If you are interested in the history of the black powder production at DuPont, you might find our online exhibit of DuPont Company on the Brandywine to be a good source.  http://www.hagley.org/library/exhibits/brandywine/
Linda P. Gross
Imprints Reference Librarian
Hagley Museum and Library
P.O. Box 3630
Wilmington, DE  19807
—–
Begin forwarded message:

DuPont either employs the most sophisticated A.I. email responders I have ever seen, or no one there or at the Hagley seems to have a sense of humor or a sense of cautioning someone looking to do some backyard gardening with dynamite.

Working powder mills on Brandywine Creek, abou...

These blow up occasionally?