Tyson Foods, Inc. & Willie Barber FTW.


Yesterday, I got two surprises in our mailbox… One being that half of it was our neighbor’s mail, and the other being the promised letter & coupons from Mrs. Barber at Tyson  Foods!  OK, the mail mix-up wasn’t that big of a surprise… that happens at least 4 times a week.  It’s always good to get mail that’s not bills or junk mail though, and this made my day…

Tyson Foods - LetterSeems a little stiff compared to my earlier exchanges, but form letters are a necessary evil with a company as large as Tyson I guess.

Also enclosed were five  coupons for free Tyson Foods items!  Two coupons for one free bag of Tyson Frozen Breaded Product or Any’tizers Product, one for any one package of Tyson Individually Frozen Chicken Product, one for any one package of Tyson Wright Brand, and one for any one package of Wright Brand Product… which makes some awesome bacon.

Tyson coupons

This is much much more than I expected, or could have hoped for!  Really, it all started out as goofing around, not a complaint by any means.  It’s certainly better than the paltry pile of coupons that I received from Pillsbury when asking about funding further “how many pizza rolls can really fit in the microwave at once” research.  I let the ball drop on that one… perhaps I better write to them and ask again, using Tyson and Taco Bell as references of good coupon giving.

I’ll have to write back to Willie to say thanks.  This really was quite generous, and will certainly help in stretching the food budget in the coming weeks!

It’s a Southern thing, just ask Willie.


Tyson Foods | Ask Willie

Tyson Foods | Ask Willie

So, my apologies to Mrs. Barber, apparently Willie is also a girl’s name down south.  Ha ha.  You guys need to read my letter to Tyson about the soggy not smelly tiger-tender, and you’ll know what this is all about.  Here’s some follow-up…

from    ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
to    “Barber, Willie” <Willie.Barber@tyson.com>
date    Sat, Oct 2, 2010
subject    Re: Tyson Honey Battered Breast Tenders
mailed-by    gmail.com

Buenos Dias Mr. Barber!

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my missive.  I’m glad that it entertained and proved interesting!  The information from your Food Safety & Quality Assurance Manager is enlightening.  I guess if I had thought about it, I may have arrived to the same conclusion… as my wife did.  Perhaps she should look into Quality Assurance as a career?

Sadly there was no golden ticket type prize for the tiger-tender, but certainly some complimentary coupons would brighten my day.  Your thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated!  My address is:

ERiC AiXelsyD
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Pittsburgh, PA  XXXXX

I still need to look into sending Duquesne Light a bill for my prematurely perished perishables, perhaps cluing them in to your generosity will tip the scales in my favor?  Maybe I should send them the tiger-tender and see if they like soggy formerly-frozen foodstuffs in their freezers.

I’m flattered that you had previously read my ramblings on the web, and honored that you remembered my name!  Now I’m curious as to how I came to be on your radar.  I tend to be goofy at times, and serious at others.  Life’s all about balance… why not enjoy the balance when it swings to the absurd?  Your kind of reply is my favorite.  You may not be surprised ad how many of these types of emails fail in providing a response.  Some people are apparently just too uptight!

I enjoy many of your fine products, and now will even more… and I’ll recommend more to my friends & family!

A good day to you sir,
-ERiC AiXeLsyD

PS – Think there’s any headway at all to be made with Arby’s & the distribution of their Bronco Berry Sauce?

And, she wrote back…

from    Barber, Willie <Willie.Barber@tyson.com>
to    ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
date    Mon, Oct 4, 2010
subject    RE: Tyson Honey Battered Breast Tenders
mailed-by    tyson.com

Happy Monday Morning!

As I recall, I chanced upon your name/blog while researching one of our customers—maybe McDonald’s, Burger King, or Subway?   Thanks for the address–the coupons will be mailed tomorrow.

By the way, I am a Mrs. not a Mr.  It’s a Southern thing!  AskWillie

Willie Barber

So, she’s read one of my various diatribes on Subway or my disdain for a nearby McDonald’s.  Quite amusing!  I don’t think I’ve messed with Buger King for a long time.

It is sad that she hasn’t addressed the Bronco Berry sauce issue, but I’m sure she can’t or won’t for corporate reasons.

I wrote back once more:

from    ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
to    “Barber, Willie” <Willie.Barber@tyson.com>
date    Mon, Oct 4, 2010
subject    Re: Tyson Honey Battered Breast Tenders
mailed-by    gmail.com

My Apologies, Mrs. Barber(!),

I guess I should have done my own research!  Ha ha.

I have certainly blogged extensively about a local McDonald’s who is as slovenly as they are slothful, and another who is run exceptionally well and always seems to be clean, efficient, and orderly.  Plus, McDonald’s is just so fun to poke.

I also have an ongoing thing with Subway about their seafood subs and cross-contamination.  I have a severe shellfish allergy, and find them quite irresponsible as far as posting warnings, using the same knife to cut all their subs, and in replying to their customers.  Perhaps you ought to go over there and teach them how to run things!  They never did answer my question about having an in-house subway instead of a cafeteria or kitchen in their corporate offices.  No sense of humor or customer satisfaction, there!

Thanks again for the coupons, my wife & I both appreciate the gesture!

Tyson’s Newest #1 Fan,
-ERiC

…and no reply as of yet, not that I really need one in this instance.  This was just some shameless plugging.  I’m just waiting for my awesome coupons.

Also… if you follow the Ask Willie link, is that the coolest job description, or what?

Chip Wars: Snyder of Berlin


Wow.  I’ve had some duds before, but this Chip Wars thing that I tried to spark really was a colossal dud.

No one got out of line with their replies, they divulged as little information as possible.  No dirt.  No funny.  No aggravation even.  I have to say I’m disappointed in myself as much as the responses.  Apparently I didn’t push the right buttons.  It certainly took long enouhg for them to write back, but I finally got a response from Snyder of Berlin:

from Yanke, Terry tyanke@birdseyefoods.com
to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
cc “Yanke, Terry” tyanke@birdseyefoods.com
date Mon, Jul 26, 2010
subject Snyder vs Snyder
mailed-by birdseyefoods.com

Dear Eric,

Thank you for your many questions about the Snyder of Berlin history and products .  We are always pleased to hear from customers such as your self.

First – Regarding the statement “is not associated with”.   This statement is a legal phrase that must be used from the sale of the family to Curtice Burn.

Second – We do not give tours of the manufacturing plant.

Thank you for being a loyal Snyder of Berlin customer.

Terry Yanke
Order Desk / Customer Service Representative
Snyder of Berlin / Husman Snack Foods
Ph # 814-267-4641 ext. 238
800-374-7949 ext. 238
Fax # 888-367-6142
tyanke@birdseyefoods.com

P Think Green. Please don’t print this message unless it’s really necessary. Thank you.

Well.  I wonder what they think when they read my emails?  Do they think I’m eccentric, a little kid, or “special”?  They may even think I’m a “special” eccentric little kid.  I think it’s funny that they acknowledge the fact that I asked several questions, but only answered two of them.

I sent them the same exact message that I sent to Snyder’s of Hanover.  Their answer was boring and ignored most of my questions too.  These companies are much more similar than they’d like to admit.

Perhaps too much snacking curbs your sense of humor?

No tours?  Wow.  Everyone else does tours.  Free ones at that.  Way to go on that one, PR people.

Should I reply and ask them to answer more of my questions… or should I just let this one drop like the proverbial hot potato that it is?

Also… I felt the urge to print 317 copies of this email.

Chip Wars: Utz


Well, in the ongoing Chip Wars saga that isn’t ruffling as many feathers as I’d like (yet), we have a letter to & response from Utz:

From: ERiC AiXeLsyD world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Sent: Saturday, July 03, 2010
To: info; Nutrition; tours
Subject: Crab flavored chips? Ah! (&) A tour sounds nice…

Hello Friends!

I’m writing to you today to tell you how much I enjoy Utz snacks… or rather, how much I hope to continue enjoying them!  I generally seem to buy Utz chips when we’re at Sheetz.  Sheetz is a damn fine establishment, don’t you think?  Although, I must confess, I have a love for Snyder of Berlin Honey Bar-B-Q chips and Herr’s Ketchup flavored chips that I sometimes have to fulfill at Sheetz.  I have yet to try your Grandma’s Handcooked Chips, but look forward to purchasing a bag in the near future.  Well, hopefully.  I’m sure this is cryptic to you by now, so I’ll try to do my best to explain.

There was an article the other day on Yahoo! mentioning the “best” chips, and they didn’t happen to mention any of my favorite brands.  The article was a sham, I tell you.  So, I started researching my own favorite chip brands… to compile my own (much more accurate) list.  In looking at your site, I discovered that you have “crab” flavored chips, and my heart nearly stopped.  You see, my friends, I have a severe allergy to shellfish.  I can become violently ill and go into anaphylactic shock just by eating some food that simply came into contact witht he same cooking surface or prep area as things like shrimp, crab, oysters, lobster, crayfish, clams, mussels, or calamari.

Are all of your flavors of chips processed on the same line?  Do you use just the crab juice to flavor your chips, or is it ground up pieces of crab meat?  Who on earth would want to eat crab flavored chips?  I ask because as I’m sure you’re aware, there are new regulations regarding disclosing the top allergens on food packaging, and I don’t recall any warning on your product packaging indicating that “THIS PRODUCT WAS MANUFACTURED IN A FACILITY THAT ALSO PROCESSES WHEAT, SOY, PEANUT, AND SHELLFISH INGREDIENTS” or anything of that sort.

I would like to continue enjoying your fine snacks, but you must understand that I cannot take the risk if there are crabs lurking around!  Do you have them in tanks there at the factory?  Oh, I shudder at the imagery!  You must imagine that for me, seeing a lobster tank at the grocery store is like anyone else walking into a mine field!

My wife and I enjoy factory tours…  I see form your website that you started about the same time as Snyder’s of Hanover, and you’re located in the same town.  Do you guys have a friendly rivalry, or is it bitter like Coca~Cola & Pepsi?  Do you order pizzas to each others’ office buildings leaving the other stuck with the tab?  For some reason, they seem to passively-aggressively hate on Snyder of Berlin on their product packaging.  I bet you’re glad the don’t say “SNYDER’S OF HANOVER IS IN NO WAY ASSOCIATED WITH SNYDER OF BERLIN OR UTZ, ALSO OF HANOVER.”  I wonder what the deal with that is?  It’s crazy.  At any rate, if we’re ever in the area, I’d very much like to tour both facilities!  One of our goals is to get to the Yuengling Brewery tour in Pottsville.  Perhaps we can stop in Hanover on our way over from Pittsburgh and make a weekend out of it!  It’s only about 2 hours form your location, right?  Maybe we can take in some Pennsylvania Dutch culture out that way too.

Oh well, I’d like to find out more about your fine chips, crab flavoring, and product labeling.  I look forward to hearing from you, hopefully this email finds you well after a great holiday weekend!

Inquisitively,
-Eric Aixelsyd

P.S. – Is it “Uhtz” or “Ootz”?  I’ve been saying the former, but wondering if it’s the latter.
P.P.S – Who is the girl on the bag?

Similar to my other messages, only slightly different.  Their response:

from Pam Berwager pjberwager@utzsnacks.com
to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Tue, Jul 13, 2010
subject FW: Crab flavored chips? Ah! (&) A tour sounds nice…
mailed-by utzsnacks.com

Dear Mr. Aixelsyd:

Thank you for your email regarding our Crab Chips.  First, let me say that we do not have any shellfish in our plant, nor is there shellfish in our Crab Chips.  It is strictly seasoning.  Did you ever have Bay Seasoning?  Marylanders us this all the time.  They are quite popular, and we receive many compliments on them.  The ingredients are listed on the bag and all the nutrition information is listed on our website at www.utzsnacks.com.  Just click on the nutrition bag at the top.  Our bags are listed with allergy information and most state they are gluten free.  The ingredients are potatoes, cottonseed oil, salt, spices, dextrose, paprika, maltodextrin, sugar, onion powder, honey powder (maltodextrin, honey), disodium inosinate and disodium guanylate, citric acid.  The maltodextrin is derived from corn.  Contains no hydrogenated fats.  This is a gluten free food.

We also invite you to visit our free, self-guided tour of our potato chip making facility.

Sincerely,
Pam

Pamela J. Berwager
Utz Quality Foods, Inc.
Customer Care Representative
800-367-7629, ext. 263

“Check out our Facebook page under ‘Little Utz Girl’ and our blog at utzsnackcentral.com to find out what’s happening at Utz.”

No correction of my pronunciation?  No acknowledgment of Snyder vs. Snyder’s?  No telling me about the creepy girl on the bag?  At least I got assurance of what I already knew… that there are no crab guts on the chips.  The crab on the packaging still gives me the heebie-jeebies.  No comments on Sheetz?  I hope she’s not a Wawa loyalist.

I also like how she explains that maltodextrin is from corn and doesn’t explain disodium inosinate or disodium guanylate.  I don’t know if it’s just fancy names for salt, or something I’d rather not know about anyway.

I believe that this needs further pressing.

Chip Wars: Snyder’s of Hanover


Well another response rolled in, and sadly they seem unamused.  This one’s from Snyder’s of Hanover, and I asked them about their (admittedly exaggerated) rift with Snyder of Berlin.  There’s no name attached, so the company itself wrote back to me.  Spooky!

My ramblings submitted via webform:

Hello Snyder Clan!

I’m mainly writing to tell you that I enjoy many of your fine products.  From the ridiculously delicious Snyder of Berlin Honey Bar-B-Q Potato Chips and incredibly savory Kettle-Cooked Sea Salt & Cracked Peppercorn Potato Chips to the tenaciously tangy Snyder’s of Hanover Honey Mustard & Onion Pretzel Pieces and decadent Peanut Butter Pretzel Sandwich Dips.  There are just too many good products to name!

I would like to know why each of your products has a statement on the outside of the packaging that vehemently denies association with the other company.  While reading the company history on each website, it’s clear that they started out of the same company… but it does seem to be a grey area.  What happened?  Why the split?  Why the clear almost stern warning that Snyder’s of Hanover “is not associated with” Snyder of Berlin and vice-versa?

The Snyder of Berlin story seems to start in Hanover during the Civil War, and the Snyder’s of Hanover story seems to start in the 1920’s… but it appears that Snyder’s of Hanover is the older business, and that Snyder of Berlin was the offshoot?  Then the stories jump to the 1940’s, and it seems form the Snyder’s of Hanover site that the Berlin company was sold in the 1950’s… but the Snyder of Berlin page seems to not mention the sale.  Color me confused!

So clearly, there is an association… and someone form each side needs to sit down to discuss & write a common history.  Perhaps some family counseling is order?  I’m sure that if you was around, your friends could recommend you to a great therapist or clergyman who would be able to help resolve the issues of animosity between the companies where they feel the need to lash out passive-aggressive notes on product packaging trying to invalidate the others’ existence.

In the immortal words of the beaten but not broken Rodney King; “People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along? Can we stop making it, making it horrible for the older people and the kids?…It’s just not right. It’s not right. It’s not, it’s not going to change anything. We’ll, we’ll get our justice….Please, we can get along here. We all can get along. I mean, we’re all stuck here for a while. Let’s try to work it out. Let’s try to beat it. Let’s try to beat it. Let’s try to work it out.”

While we’re on the subject, do you feel any animosity towards Utz, Herr’s, Wise, or Shearer’s?  Perhaps the Snyder of Berlin and Snyder’s of Hanover ought to align themselves together in the battle against all other regional snack chains?

My wife and I really enjoy factory tours… We mostly go to breweries, but I’m sure we would enjoy a tour if we’re ever in your area!  I hope to hear form you, and hope that this familial rift is resolved (or on its way to being resolved) in the meantime.  I really look forward to hearing your thoughts on the subject.  Good luck to your in your healing journey!

Shalom,

-Eric Aixelsyd

(Actually, I submitted the same exact message to both companies.) And, then their answer:

from Consumer Affairs consumeraffairs@snyders-han.com
to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
date Thu, Jul 8, 2010
subject RE: Contact Us form has been submitted
mailed-by snyders-han.com

Eric,

It’s really basically to try and make consumers out in the market place
aware that there are 2 separate Snyder companies.

Years ago, yes we were under the same company, but there is no family
relations and Snyder’s of Berlin decided to break away and try their own
family business.

Sincerely,
Snyder’s of Hanover, Inc.

[Yawn.]

So, clearly, Snyder of Berlin is the no-good upstart… according to Snyder’s of Hanover.  Apparently they did more than “try”.  I’d say they succeeded.

I can’t believe all my crazy comments and questions went unacknowledged  I brought out the Civil War and Rodney King.  Who references Rodney King anymore?