Heh. Tweeted the other night during some shenanigans in GetGo.
Heh. They both responded.
I also got a DM from GetGo, but no real response yet after I provided my advantage card number. I’m not looking for any freebies, but those poor employees clearly had their hands full.
Sheetz wins the humor in social media award. I do wish there was one here in Bridgeville near I-79.
I am glad that there’s competition here. Let’s just keep Wawa out.
I just found this amusing:
(Photo credit: eric_aixelsyd)
Wendy’s cares! Ha ha. Has anyone else ever run into this problem with impenetrable croutons? I’m not exactly sure what they’ll be able to do about it. Tougher forks? Softer croutons? Maybe I’ll get a free Frosty? Will they start handing out sporks? What about a metal Wendy’s fork that I can carry with me at all times? I guess the possibilities are endless.
On a weird side-note… Zemanta picked up my photo as a suggested image from Flickr. How crazy is that?
Insanity.
http://twitter.com/#!/W_a_L_D/status/136910586947715072
That’s right. Boston Market not only reached out via my contact form thanks to Facebook, but also had the cojones to do this…
Boston Market RT!
I still haven’t received a reply to my email to Mr. Wakabayashi, but what now Panera Bread? What now? Clearly, this will pan out to be a bigger rivalry than Neil Young vs. Skynrd, or East Coast Rap vs. West Coast Rap. Maybe even bigger than me vs. the people that think I’m McDonald’s. (At Least Mr. Wakabayashi used my contact form correctly!)
http://twitter.com/#!/W_a_L_D/status/137169033266077696
http://twitter.com/#!/bostonmarket/status/137212008138424321
If you have no idea what’s going on, or if you work for Panera Bread. You can catch up here…
In other news, did you know that they both cater? I wish someone would have told me.
I actually stopped at the local Panera the other night because the wife was sick and wanted some of that cheese-broccoli soup. I went in to get some to go, and got myself a half of a turkey sandwich and a cup of the chicken noodle.
The employee (a young girl, of course) at the counter was quite friendly, asked if I wanted lettuce tomato or onion on the sandwich, and even asked if I wanted mustard and/or mayo. Clearly, someone went over new procedures. Sadly, I asked for lettuce & tomato… and got neither, but I did get mustard and mayo. I applaud the effort, and shame on me for not checking before I left the store.
I have to say, after my initial complaint, they have totally stepped it up service-wise. I still call shenanigans on the new soup. They ought to let sales do the talking… OFFER BOTH. It’s certainly a popular item. Let the consumers decide if they want a great-tasting soup… or the crappy flat-noodled healthy soup. Clearly, as a leader in the Fast Casual industry, you can afford to test the proverbial waters? I think more changes have been made, but it’s still not the old soup. Shenanigans.
Also, I counted 3 signs within a span of about 8 feet on the counter where you wait for your order advertising the catering… and the pop machine still does it too. I think the receipt may have even said something about it.
I spend far too much time contemplating fast food & fast casual dining. If only I could save time buy purchasing already prepared meals. Does anyone out there do that?
I’m just sayin’.
Panera Bread - vs. - Boston Market
From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Nov 4, 2011
Subject: New Catering Advertisement Opportunities!
To: & Cc: A bunch of Panera & Boston Market EmployeesHello friends at Boston Market & Panera Bread,
I assume that the lack of response to my last email about an all-out catering battle at my house was ill-received. I didn’t get any interest from either camp, or even any kind of acknowledgement of my email. Not even a coupon. Isn’t that the typical response? “Throw ’em a coupon!” Color me disappointed.
No reply is rather rude, don’t you think? Batman movie night has come & gone. We dutifully provided a favorable dining experience to our guests thanks to an incredible local pizza shop. Roasted red peppers as a pizza topping? A hit all around, I tell you! Subs with a homemade feel cut in to bite-size appetizers were also quite delicious.
I’m not sure why neither Panera Bread or Boston Market was willing to enter my catering battle royale. It would have been an exciting opportunity for both of you. I realize now… that you need help with forward thinking. You missed this opportunity to advertise your catering and fight for my dollar.
I believe that I may have come around to your way of thinking. Perhaps I need to fight for your dollar. I previously saw advertisements on the pop machine and all over the windows as borderline obscene… but why stop at the border, friends? Let’s trample the border, deface it on our way through, and not look back! I have some ideas that you may find attractive. I really look forward to your feedback. (Don’t give me any shenanigans about unsolicited ideas and what-not, we’re all friends here.)
- Advertising on the napkins. You already do it on the receipts, walls, & windows. Subway uses their napkins for nutrition information. Show them up, advertise! Think of all that clean wasted ad space ripe for the slinging of your delicious wares. Were one ambitious, this could extend to the “to go” sandwich wrappings, the fancy new plates that you’re both using, and even the trays. Hell, why not the drink cups?
- Guerrilla advertising. You could have employees go into your parking lot at regular intervals, and put flyers under the windshield wipers of cars. If you really wanna get crazy, try bumper stickers! People would love decorations on their autos.
- Me. Send me a T-shirt that advertises your catering services. I play in a band. I’ll wear it to shows. The throngs of bar patrons who rock out with me on a regular basis will be sure to flock to the nearest Panera Bread or Boston Market location. I might be able to convince my band-mates to do the same. If we’d like to get really crazy, may I offer to sell my forehead as a billboard?
- Paystubs. Your employees get paid right? Get that money back! Advertise your catering services on their pay-stubs, and any communications that you need to send. There’s room on that W2 envelope for a 10% off catering coupon.
- Right on the food itself. This is the one that excites me the most! You’ve seen the toasters that produce an image of Darth Vader, and the irons that brand your initials on to a steak, right? There are also printers that print right on things like rice paper & cakes. Why not take advantage of this technology? Think about it. Full color printing on wraps? Toasty images on buns, bread, & bagels? Delicious meat branded with confidence, demanding that you pick up a catering menu. It’s never been done. It’s opulent. It’s genius. (If I do say so myself.)
So, what do you think? Can I help in this new advertising adventure? These are the next steps in the evolution of promulgation. Let’s move onward and upward, into uncharted catering promotional territory. It will be an onslaught to the senses, and an influx in revenue for all involved. I’m excited for this venture, and especially excited to get some feedback from everyone involved.
Excelsoir!
-Waldo Lunar
[ -YOUR AD COULD BE HERE- ]
incessant emails / incessant advertising
Further Reading:
Recently for lunch, I had a reconstituted-onion & cheese sandwich from McDonald’s with a little bit of beef on it. It was extra special because it was pressed. It was not like a panini press with grill lines, but more like someone sat on it. There were also pickles stacked on top of each other, sticking out of the side. Very artful & creative!
This wasn’t even from the West Liberty location.
I recently had a friend send one of his friends’ McTale-of-woe to me, because I have apparently become some sort of authority on all things wrong with McDonald’s customer service.
The reason I told of my recent adventure in lunch, is that it fits with the tale as told by someone who wishes to remain nameless, blameless, & shameless:
From: Pattyless Sandwich
Date: Wed, Sep 28, 2011 at 9:29 AM
Subject: The Day McDonald’s Shit All Over My Good Time
To: The HamburglarOn Sept. 27, 2011 I went through the drive thru at McDonald’s on Mt. Lebanon Blvd. in Castle Shannon, PA. I ordered a number 4 (two cheeseburgers), and I asked for no onion. When I got back to my friends house and we started eating I noticed that the sandwich looked really thin but I just figured it was smashed down a little more THAN NECESSARY so I bit in anyway. As I was chewing, I realized something wasn’t right about what was being smashed around in my mouth. I set my sandwich down and removed the top part of the bun to see the following: slice of cheese on the bottom half of the bun, pickles, ketchup, and mustard. Yes, that is correct, there was no meat on the sandwich. Luckily I had another sandwich, that in fact had the patty, to eat, but they put onions on it. The only thing I asked them to void. Now I understand work is work and if you have a job to live then that is fantastic, but to be the person to put the burgers together at McDonald’s, I feel like you go through a training day to be shown how to assemble them. Bottom bun, slice of cheese (I’m guessing it is on the bottom so the burger melts it, let’s not get crazy this shit isn’t cooked together), HAMBURGER PATTY, and then your condiments. Who put mine together and thought “hm….this looks right. Nothing is missing, I am a brilliant fucking burger maker extraordinaire.”? It’s not a hamburger from a hamburger joint if there is no meat. To quote a smart fast food chain (rhymes with Shmendy’s), “Where’s the beef!?”
Sincerely,
Pattyless Sandwich
And, there’s even a Facebook photo:
Veggie Burger?
Ridiculous. At least this didn’t come through my contact form from someone thinking I was McDonald’s.
Friends, I seriously wish I could write to the McGiant on your behalf, but all of my insane yet legitimate complaints have fallen on deaf ears, blind eyes, or typical McCustomer-Service employees.
Check out my track record. While I feel for you, maybe try their McPennsylvania site? I can do nothing at this point but perhaps share in your misery, my freinds!
Just kidding. But Harmony and her husband are convinced that I am indeed McDonald’s, and that Harmony is a certified technological genius. More on that later.
I was convinced by my friends & followers online to write to Mr. Kausky after his suggestion of thanking a soldier for the freedom to choose fast food. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you need to read “I AM NOT McDONALD’S” and “I’m still not McDonald’s“.
At any rate, this is how I chose to respond to the good-natured manager of the Canonsburg McDonald’s:
From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, Sep 7, 2011
Subject: Re: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: Scott Kausky
Cc: pit.05834@us.stores.mcd.com, info@westliberty.mcdtoday.com, sandra.jaeger@gmail.com, krebs955@gmail.com, shovelman11@yahoo.com, pastorskid_tiwtc4u@yahoo.com, Ella.Jones@us.mcd.com, McDonaldsCorporation@mcd.com, McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com, kathy.pieroni@us.mcd.comHello Mr. Kausky,
Pardon me if I’m misreading the tone of your email, but please calm down. Have some dip.
My inclusion of you on the original email was because I’ve had pleasant dealings with you & your McDonald’s location in the past. I’m convinced that you were instrumental in finally getting a response from Ms. Jones the last time I had an issue with the West Liberty Ave. McDonald’s location. I read you as a man of action, with great pride in your company.
Perhaps you would be better off at a Chick-Fil-A? They seem to treat their employees better, and you’d never work on Sundays. You may not be so stressed & jumpy. Ever notice they always say “My Pleasure” instead of “You’re Welcome” when you thank them? I can’t decide if it’s awesome, or cult-like. I’m pretty sure that no one at any McDonald’s ever has acted like it was their pleasure to give me a lopsided cheeseburger. (Seriously, spot-check that stuff. I haven’t done a formal study yet, but I’m guessing that 75% of the time, the pickles are stacked on one side of the burger, not placed side-by-side in the middle… and that 95% of the time, there is ketchup and/or mustard on the outside of the bun.) Although, I have never seen an alarm clock with a subliminal cow penis at McDonald’s… even if you have poorly copied the Chick-fil-A sandwich.
I have four email addresses for people representing the West Liberty Ave. McDonald’s. None of them have replied to my original email. This shows lack of pride. I’m sure you would be disappointed in their lack of response. That’s… pit.05834@us.stores.mcd.com, info@westliberty.mcdtoday.com, sandra.jaeger@gmail.com, & Ella.Jones@us.mcd.com.
I’m a concerned citizen, trying to help the confused yet adamant Harmony get in contact with the correct people. Amber & Shirley need my help too. Their complaints are valid, and think about this… out of the entire internet that exists out there… these people have managed to find my blog to submit complaints about what I can call possibly the most incompetent McDonald’s location ever. It’s not their fault that they can’t tell that I am not McDonald’s.
Harmony has her own issues, as she can’t distinguish between an email address and a website… but that doesn’t change the fact that she was not offered a mango pineapple smoothie, and it took 15 minutes to get her additional sandwich and Rolo McFlurry while ¾ of the crew members where congregating by the drive-thru. (Hopefully they weren’t conjugating… right?) A mango pineapple smoothie sounds absolutely disgusting, but if Harmony wanted to be offered one that’s her right.
Speaking of rights, I’m not sure how I provoked the antagonistic patriotism and perceived lack of disrespect for our armed forces and freedom. I apologize if I have offended you in any way. Were you watching the History channel, election coverage, or perhaps drinking when you received my email? (I’m not judging, I would imagine one would have to partake in the occasional sip of spirits in order to cope with the stress of running a McDonald’s on top of receiving emails from crazy people.)
I am indeed glad that I have the freedom to rant about customer service issues and fast food quality on the internet. You’re right though, I will indeed thank a soldier the next time I see them. You’ll have to promise to instruct your fellow McDonald’s managers and employees to thank a soldier next time they see them too. They need to thank them for the freedom to serve poorly constructed sandwiches, cold french fries, and for opportunities to congregate by the drive-thru while paying customers wait (im?)patiently. While we’re at it, they should thank them for the freedom to dumb-down the populace by changing words like “through” to “thru” and “Night” to “Nite”. I’m not positive, but I can only assume such offenses would not go unpunished in the former Soviet Union or current Communist blockades like China, one of the Koreas, or Cuba. I can imagine one being caned in a Singapore McDonald’s for congregating by the drive-thru, or having ketchup fall on the outside of a bun.
At any rate, I would like to share with you my overall adventures in correspondence with McDonald’s. I hope to amuse and amaze you in chronological order below:
- pre-W(aL)D WordPress blog: McDonald’s is gross…
- pre-W(aL)D WordPress blog: W(aL)D: McFilth at McDonald’s® & Heads-up to Heinz®!
- pre-W(aL)D WordPress blog: W(aL)D: Response from Heinz!
- pre-W(aL)D WordPress blog: You can always count on McDonald’s
- Message from McDonald’s USA [ref#:6502666]
- (Another) Message from McDonald’s USA [ref#:6502666 & ref#:6521333]
- The Mythical Magical McGangbang
- McReadverspamtismentply
- O’Ffended
- Under the Golden Arches?
- A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave. – Brookline/Beechview/Dormont) (30 Comments!)
- McSatisfaction
- McTweeting
- The McSaga Continues (…A reply from Ms. Jones!)
- McObservation
- I AM NOT McDONALD’S
- I’m still not McDonald’s.
Just so you don’t feel bad, check this one out: Wendy’s in Dormont (Pittsburgh, PA) – W. LIBERTY #5
I hope you took the time to read all of the comments. I am not McDonald’s, and I am not alone. There are more (albeit less electronically vocal) of me out there. We will not remain silent. We will continue to consume your poorly assembled meals while grumbling under our breath. We will contunite to have a mental block when it comes to actual time spent waiting for “fast food” to be prepared & served versus the perceived speed of choosing to dine at such establishments. We will continue to craft poorly worded and misspelled messages and send them to the wrong people. We will celebrate the fact that we have the freedom to do all of the above.
So, we have arrived to now. What’s happening now, is happening now. I hope you have enjoyed the ride. Please keep all arms, legs, & other appendages inside the car until it comes to a complete stop. Thanks for flying W(aL)D Airlines, may the force be with you. (..and also with you, Amen.)
Your baffled consumer advocate,
-Eric AiXeLsyD
World (and Lunar) Domination
Heh. I decided to go goofy at the end. I got his reply, and have decided to leave this poor man alone. Why? He actually takes pride in his McDonald’s, and seems to have a rare killer work ethic:
From: Scott Kausky <skausky33@verizon.net>
Date: Wed, Sep 7, 2011
Subject: Re: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>Eric
I didn’t send the email you to upset you either. I represent my McDonalds. I was just stating the fact that our soldiers give us the freedom to complain. I’m old fashioned perhaps, if I continued to have issues, I would simply not return. Thats how I run my store. We don’t want them to go else where so we do it right and fix the issues that arrive. The stores that have issues generally might be due to the town they are in. I appologize if no one responds to your emails. All I know for sure is come visit in Canonsburg and I’ll make it right for you. I enjoy my job and serving our customers. Please dont use my email for any other reason.With Respect
Scott Kausky
Respect is right. Misguided patriotic rants aside, Scott Kausky is the man. I encourage you to support this McDonald’s location.
We still have the little matter of harmony being convinced that I’m McDonald’s. You can imagine my surprise as this came to my inbox slightly before Scott’s reply above:
From: krebs955@gmail.com <krebs955@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, Sep 7, 2011
Subject: Re: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>I don’t have much to say about all this McDonald’s stuff, because I work at one currently and everybody else has said it. However, I will say that Harmony is my wife and she has no issues whatsoever. The reason we posted on your blog is because it was on the bottom of our receipt. She is not technologically challenged, and shame on you for assuming what other people’s problems and issues are.
Upon the arrival of this gem in my inbox, I was kind of speechless. I was also paranoid. Did they indeed pimp my blog’s address at the bottom of a McDonald’s receipt? I would have declared this an absolute win for Ella Jones, Sandra Jaeger, and everyone else that doesn’t reply to emails at the West Libery Ave. McDonald’s. I mean, really, how funny would that be? Along those same lines… if this is a friend or reader yanking my proverbial crank; Kudos! You totally got me.
If this is for real, then may God have mercy on your souls, …and mine for teasing you. Can someone please help me explain this? I thought I did that with my last blog post/email with the lines..
But, I must say that I’m confused. You didn’t email anyone, you used the contact form at my website: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com
Is that what appears at the top of the receipt?
I’m guessing that more than likely it says “ella.jones@us.mcd.com” at the top of your receipt. I’m not Ella Jones. You didn’t email me. You didn’t email Ella Jones. You did a Google (or Bing) search for the email address, and landed on my page.
I don't see my email address or blog url on here anywhere. Do you?
Can someone help me simplify that? Should I even bother at this point? I’m confused. Just in case Harmony or her husband find their way back here, I did have to satisfy my curiosity. I stopped & got two sweet teas tonight, just to get a receipt. You can seethe full receipt to the left.
It thankfully (and I’ll admit… somewhat disappointingly) does not include my email address or my blog’s web address.
Which one of my theories do you think is the case here? Do you think they found my blog, & were insulted? I mean no disrespect. I’m just trying to help here. At this point, I’m assuming Shirley and Amber will remain clueless until the end of time. I have yet to receive a reply from either of them, and doubt I will. And, I doubt that I’ll ever hear from Ella Jones or Sandra Jaeger.
I also hope that Harmony’s husband doesn’t work at the West Liberty McDonald’s, and that her going online to complain (“complaine”?) about his corporate employer doesn’t cause some sort of marital rift.
Perhaps a visual aid will help demonstrate:
Trust me, I am not McDonald's.
I don’t think I’ll ever convince them. Think I can get a McDonald’s hat or something? Maybe a name tag? Something? Perhaps I should just start writing back to people pretending that I am indeed McDonald’s.
To compound & confound even more, this is what happened on my latest adventure into this McDonald’s on a mission to obtain a receipt & ultimately verify that I am not McDonald’s:
I pulled into the parking lot somewhere around 8:30pm and the lot was quite full. Most of the cars in the lot were at the outer edge, toward the bottom of the lot, and most likely there for Malone’s Too or Señor Frog’s or whatever that bar is called this week… blatantly ignoring the signs to the effect of “McDonald’s Parking Only” or whatever. I even saw a guy walk out of the bar into his car. Oh well, that’s not really in their control… or is it?
The drive through lanes were both backed up pretty hard, and I’m sure people were cutting in front of each other unhindered as usual… so I opted to just pull into a parking spot & go inside. Bad move? Perhaps.
Once inside, I took my place in line behind a woman and her daughter at the one open/operating register, and a lone dude in front of me. The woman & daughter were mid-order, and there was something going on about apple pies being dropped (in what I can hopefully assume was the fryer) and only one pie being avaiable. They were told there would be an approximate 10 minute wait, but that “it goes fast”. The woman slid to the side as her daughter went to fill their drinks, and I assume find a table.
While this was happening, I saw another McDonald’s employee come up to a register, glance annoyedly at me and the dude in front of me, hit some buttons, then walk away. I’m sorry. Do these employees know that to make money, McDonald’s sells what they pass off as food… and that in order to pay her salary they need to sell vast amounts of lopsided hamburgers with ketchup all over the outside of the bun? I was surprised at how backed up things had become as the drive-through appeared quite frantic & another potential customer came in behind me during a completely non-meal-rush time of day.
Leaving the sole struggling fellow employee at the line register kind of seemed like what I would call a “dick move“. Alas, the mother moved to the left, and slid her tray containing rapidly cooling french fries along with her. Up next? Dude in front of me.
Dude must have also ordered apple pies… as he was told they just dropped. When he asked what that meant, he was told that it meant there would be a ten minute wait for apple pies. Was the young lady at the register trying to use a Jedi mind trick to dissuade the man from ordering apple pies? I’m guessing that she was simply telling a customer that they didn’t want what they ordered. I honestly don’t know why anyone would want to order one of those nasty mucus-like hot-pockets that are supposed to resemble a pie… but if he was willing to shell out his hopefully hard-earned cash for them, I say give them to the man! Order begrudgingly placed, and man moves to the left… overcrowding the woman with her lone order of increasingly algid fries.
I was up! Finally. I was asked what I wanted to order, I requested two sweet teas. I was actually told “Oh, thank you for being an easy one” much to the dismay of the dude directly to my left. He was visibly not amused. I struggled to internally process what had caused such dismay in the poor girl behind the counter as I was handed my receipt… but I was (and still am) at a loss.
Mission complete. I had a receipt in my hand. My name, email address, and blog url are not on the receipt. Success! “Just give me my cups” I thought, as the girl walked away. A kid was leaving his shift… she told him goodbye and proceeded to walk over and talk to the remaining employees about how popular the departing employee was this evening. It somehow turned into a rant about thinking that someone was going to come through the drive-through window at her. Perhaps some other unsatisfied customers earlier this evening?
Then one of the other employees told the girl who had taken my order that it was time for her break. “Break?” she exclaimed, and started to leave. The one with some semblance of sanity said “but first I need you to take care of all these orders.”
I tried to shift to my left, but apple pie guy was holding his ground as I blatantly invaded his personal space. Perhaps his movement was hindered by the woman in front of him with ice fries. The woman behind me was a champion. She pushed ahead to the register like a metal fan in a mosh pit. I think her purse touched my bum. I just want some cups. The girl who took my order looked at me quizzically. Perhaps I looked befuddled. I know where the drink station is. I know how to get ice. I know how to work the knob on the iced tea dispenser. I just need two of those Styrofoam sweet tea cups. At this point, any cups will do.
Steely in her resolve to go on break, or perhaps obliviously, she took the order of the woman behind me. Snack wraps. She broke the code. No apple pies. Smart move, purse push lady. Smart move. The order was punched in, and she started to yet again walk away.
“C… Can I just have some cups?” The words were out of my mouth before my brain knew that I was forming them. I don’t know if I was anxious, or this was my flight response in order to remove myself from the chaos all around me. The girl who took my order paused, and looked at me. I’m sure ice fries and pie guy looked at me too, wondering why I should get my hands on some sweet tea before they were handed their precious disgusting pies. For a split second, I was almost scared. Had I crossed a line? Had I invoked the wrath of a McDonald’s employee mere moments late for her break?
Relief. She grabbed two Styrofoam cups and filled them with ice, then went back to her conversation about the drive through window or something that seemed to annoy her fellow employees.
The girl who had looked at us with disdain earlier while tapping a few buttons on the register reappeared, and asked ice fries what she was waiting for. Ice fries lady (who’s daughter probably had come to terms by now that she was surely abandoned) said something to the effect of… “I’m waiting for pies, but can I have my sandwiches now, & have someone bring out the pies?” This was like a record skipping in a TV show. Several employees stopped and looked at her. I’m not sure if there was an answer… but I did hear that “the pies would be ten minutes.” Surely three to five of those ten minutes had already passed, but who was I to argue?
“Hooolllly coooowww!” I did it again. The words escaped me before I could contain them. Damn you, Ernie and the Berts practice, for amping me all up. By this point, I was looking around for hidden cameras. Was I on a TV show? I think I heard pie guy say “I know” but perhaps he feared the wrath of a pie-less future as it was almost imperceptible.
I was handed my iced teas… I’m guessing the tea dispensers over by the pop machines aren’t filled at night? Makes sense. Even though there was one of me and I ordered two drinks… I wasn’t offered a drink carrier. I wasn’t handed straws or napkins. I sure as heck wasn’t going to ask for any.
I hastily made my was over to the condiment & drink station, got some straws & napkins, then walked back past the counter to the exit, ice fries, pie guy, and snack wrap lady still there… probably envious of my escape to sweet freedom.
I couldn’t help it. As I walked by, I muttered a sing-song like “♪♫ Good luuu-uuck… ♪♫” to my fellow McConsumers. I hope they were amused.
Eu não sou McDonald’s. Ich bin nicht McDonald’s. Io non sono McDonald’s. Jag är inte McDonalds. Je ne suis pas McDonald’s. Jeg er ikke McDonalds. Mimi si McDonald ya. Nem vagyok McDonald’s. Nid wyf yn McDonald’s. Nie jestem McDonalda. Níl mé McDonald’s ar. Non est McDonald’s. Yo no soy McDonald. Δεν είμαι της McDonald’s. Я не Макдональдс. אני לא מקדונלד ‘ס. मैं मैकडॉनल्ड्स नहीं हूँ. 저는 맥도날드 아닙니다. 我不是麦当劳。 私はマクドナルドではない。
Image via Wikipedia
Have you heard that I’m not McDonald’s? I decided to write to my new friends in McNeed, and I got a great response out of Harmony. She is apparently convinced that I am McDonald’s. I got a somewhat puzzling response from Scott, the manager of the Canonsburg store. I’ll share what’s transpired. This is me, trying to clear up the message…
From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 1, 2011
Subject: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: krebs955@gmail.com, shovelman11@yahoo.com, pastorskid_tiwtc4u@yahoo.com
Cc: pit.05834@us.stores.mcd.com, Ella Jones <Ella.Jones@us.mcd.com>, info@westliberty.mcdtoday.com, sandra.jaeger@gmail.com, skausky33@verizon.netHello Harmony, Shirley, & Amber,
Thank you for taking the time to write to me! While I understand your frustrations with your McDonald’s visits, I have to say… I am not McDoanld’s.
I’m not sure how you all arrived at using the contact form for my website whilst thinking the message was going to McDonald’s. While I applaud your vigor, it is sadly misdirected. I do however feel that it would be an injustice if I left the messages fall upon deaf ears (or blind eyes as it were). So, I am copying this message to the known addresses of several people representing the McDonald’s location on West Liberty Avenue in Dormont. Hopefully they will follow-up with you directly about your respective incidents; runny oatmeal, lack of napkins & ketchup, lackadaisical manager (Jeff), and all. Chaos apparently still abounds at this location. It’s been quite some time since I have been there.
If you’d like to know what I’m talking about, or where this email is from… I encourage you to check out my blog: I AM NOT McDONALD’S. It also contains other avenues to explore (namely Twitter) should this email prove to be no help.
Until then, since the nearby Wendy’s is under construction and possibly worse than this McDonald’s, I encourage you to try Dormont Dogs, SLICE on Broadway, or Tom’s Diner.
Good luck in your journey form consumer advocacy to customer satisfaction, may you be amused along the way, & find what you’re looking for eventually. Consider me your GPS.
Don’t argue with the Garmin,
-ERiC AiXeLsyD
World (and Lunar) Domination
Simple enough, right? Harmony is not convinced:
From: krebs955@gmail.com <krebs955@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 1, 2011
Subject: Re: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>That is interesting since your e-mail address is on the receipts there lol.
It was almost immediately followed by this:
From: krebs955@gmail.com <krebs955@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 1, 2011
Subject: Re: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>Thanks for the helpful info though.
Can someone get me a receipt from that place, just so I can be sure? I’m guessing that Harmony is using a phone, and thought she emailed Ella Jones… & didn’t realize she was using my contact form.
I’ve had positive interactions with Mr. Kausky before. Apparently my repeated use of “I am not McDonald’s” pushed a button.
From: Scott Kausky <skausky33@verizon.net>
Date: Wed, Aug 31, 2011
Subject: Re: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>Dear Sir,
I am also NOT MCDONALD’S. I do however, represent the Canonsburg McDonald’s. I can assist you with anything from that perspective. I might suggest however, to take the time and thank a soldier that gives us the freedom to criticize in the land of the free and be thankful that we can peacefully drive down the street and stop by and pick up a quick meal if one so desires.
Thank You.
Scott is apparently unamused by my insolence. The reason I copied him is that he’s the only one who gave a response before, and seems to actually take pride in his store. I believe it also helped get a response from Ms. Jones.
I don’t know where thanking a soldier came into play. I never voiced any disrespect for the government or military. Both of my grandfathers fought in WWII, my dad served in the army, and I have uncles that served in the Marines & Air Force… as well as many other friends & extended family members who have served in active duty much more recently. I appreciate all of their service, and the fact that I’m here and able to whine about the quality of fast food service because of them.
If we’re invoking patriotism inappropriately here: Maybe the next time a McDonald’s employee is screwing up an order, they should thank a soldier that they have the freedom to screw up that order.
I haven’t written back to Mr. Kausky yet, but I did fire this off to Harmony & company:
From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 1, 2011
Subject: Re: AiXeLsyD13 / W(aL)D – I’m not McDonald’s
To: “krebs955@gmail.com” <krebs955@gmail.com>
Cc: shovelman11@yahoo.com, pastorskid_tiwtc4u@yahoo.com, pit.05834@us.stores.mcd.com, Ella Jones <Ella.Jones@us.mcd.com>, info@westliberty.mcdtoday.com, sandra.jaeger@gmail.com, skausky33@verizon.netHello again Harmony,
No problem for the contact info, good luck in your quest for customer satisfaction!
But, I must say that I’m confused. You didn’t email anyone, you used the contact form at my website: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com
Is that what appears at the top of the receipt?
I’m guessing that more than likely it says “ella.jones@us.mcd.com” at the top of your receipt. I’m not Ella Jones. You didn’t email me. You didn’t email Ella Jones. You did a Google (or Bing) search for the email address, and landed on my page.
If it does say “https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com” at the top of a McDonald’s receipt, I’d love to see a photo of that.
Rock on!
-Eric
No response as of yet from Harmony, Shirley, or Amber (who all thought or still think that I was/am McDonald’s) …and of course as expected no response (to me anyway) from Ella Jones, Sandra Jaeger, Rick Sapko, or anyone representing the West Liberty Ave. McDonald’s.
Should I write back to Scott & try to clear things up? Should I leave well enough alone? I know that pressing Sandra, Ella, & Rick will get me nowhere.
I am not McDonald’s. I’m just sayin’. This isn’t the 1st time this has happened. I got this message in my inbox today:
From: Harmony Krebs <krebs955@gmail.com>
To: me_at_my@email.addre.ss
Sent: Wednesday, August 31, 2011 6:59 PM
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback
Name: Harmony KrebsEmail: krebs955@gmail.com
Website:
Message / Comment: First, the oatmeal was filled to the top with water and extremely runny. The order taker didn’t offer a mango pineapple smoothie, and when I went back up to order an additional sandwich and small rolo mcflurry, it took 15 minutes to get them. There was only one guy taking orders, while 3/4 of the crew members were over by the drive through just talking and congregating.
How’d you find my blog?: It was on my receipt.
Time: Wednesday August 31, 2011 at 6:59 pm
IP Address: ##.###.##.###
Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/
Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.
Odd. You may remember this gem:
From: shirley kelly
To: me_at_my@email.addre.ss
Sent: Tuesday, August 2, 2011 7:33 PM
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback
Name: shirley kellyEmail: shovelman11@yahoo.com
Website:
Message / Comment: went in Imperial store on Aug. i,2011, the service was horrible . They acted as if they were doing us a favor by waiting on us .There were no napkinks out , no containers for ketchup both myself and another had to ask for napkins, when they gave them to us it was like an effort to do so The management at night is horrible
How’d you find my blog?:
Time: Tuesday August 2, 2011 at 7:33 pm
IP Address: ###.###.###.###
Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/
Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.
Really weird. I AM NOT MCDOANLD’S. I think I see what’s happening here, at least with the message up top. See if you can follow along with me…
That was fun, wasn’t it? Do you think I’m close? I may have to change to look of my comment page to let people know who I am, and that I am not McDoanld’s.
I do love the interaction. As a blogger I feed off of comments, replies, and feedback. I do appreciate & empathize that you were so wronged by McDonald’s that you feel the need to express your frustrations via written electronic communication. I totally get that.
If you have had a bad experience, and want to vent… please, I encourage you to share the experience (hopefully with a humorous bent) here with me & all the other people who’s McDonald’s-related Google and Bing searches have led them to my humble corner of the internet.
That being said, there are a plethora of comments on my blog: A day in the life of McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave. – Brookline/Beechview/Dormont)
A lot of those comments seem to be directed at McDonald’s. I am not McDonald’s. I try to reply to each commenter to let them know where to direct their anger… but they must not have checked the “Notify me of follow-up comments via email” box while they commented or ever check back, because they never seem to get my reply.
Wow. As, I’m typing this blog… I got something in my inbox that is so amusing I’m going to pee my pants:
From: Amber Ross <pastorskid_tiwtc4u@yahoo.com>
To: me_at_my@email.addre.ss
Sent: Wednesday, August 31, 2011 10:01 PM
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback
Name: Amber RossEmail: pastorskid_tiwtc4u@yahoo.com
Website:
Message / Comment: Hello, i would like to inform you that i have visited your store twice today and both times the service has been extremely slow and very disappointing. Both times i have waited twenty minutes in line and both times it was for something small. The line had at least eight people in it, that were not helped and the manager (Jeff) was at the drive thru window drinking a pop and not caring that people were waiting. i also would like to inform you that i will not be returning to your store along with my entire family. Thank You.How’d you find my blog?:
Time: Wednesday August 31, 2011 at 10:01 pm
IP Address: ##.###.##.###
Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/
Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.
Seriously? Is someone playing a joke on me, or is my website really at the top of McDonald’s receipts? Ha ha.
I hope your disgruntled McSearch leads you here, because, I’d like to let you know that (say it with me)…
If you would like to read my McDonald’s-related ramblings, may I suggest the following?
If you’d like to contact McDonald’s, there’s a myriad of ways you can do so, although I cannot guarantee you a satisfying reply (or a reply at all):
McDonald’s #5834 (West Liberty Ave.):
McDonald’s #4856 (Canonsburg):
The McDonald’s Twitter Team plus a few more:
Here are even more contacts, gathered from my Comments:
Oh man, I forgot about this genius:
jeffrey s miller jr | December 17, 2010 at 12:51 am | Reply | Edit
I was very unhappy with my visit from store 10848 delmont 6526 route 22 pa the servise was the worrise that i ever had and i had only had three things two frys and a fish sandwitch and i had a pice of chees on mu fish and the frys where cold and when i asked for ketchup they said i had to pay for it pleas email me back or i will call and complaine
Jeffrey; I am not McDonald’s. While we’re at it… “sandwitch” & “complaine“? …and “worrise“? You clearly have issues to address, my friend. Best of luck with that.
Wow.
Please, share your experience below (but, note… again, that I am not McDonald’s)!
I’d also love any theories on how/why peopel are using my contact form and comments sections… thinking I’m McDonalds. (Which I’m clearly not.)
I recently had some correspondence with Panera Bread (The Great Panera Bread Swindle & Panera responds to my insanity, so I write back…), and I still have no reply to my last email. I assume they think I’m an idiot and will not continue any further correspondence. The experience reminded me of being bombarded with catering advertisements when I’m already at a restaurant. I called out a few other places, but Boston Market does the same thing with the catering barrage. I have a long history with them & letters, pre-dating my WordPress blogging days even.
At any rate, it struck me that they both seem to be fighting (or at least nagging) for catering business. If we’re already in the store, and signed up for your mailing lists… we probably know that you will cater if needed. How about focusing the catering advertising on local businesses around each location?
Or, I have a more interesting solution…
From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, Aug 10, 2011
Subject: So, do you guys cater?
To: RCordova1@bost.com, isabella.contactus@panerabread.comCiao Colossal Catering Czars!
I can’t help but feel overwhelmed lately when I visit any of your fine establishments. I just go there to get a meal, but you have mercilessly force-fed your catering services to me and throngs of other customers in the form of signage on the wall, window-clings, pamphlets, menus, table signage, place-mats, tweets, & emails. I get it. I feel like I’m in a giant commercial every time I walk into one of your previously welcoming establishments. (Bob Evans is highly annoying with the take-out mantra too, but they’re not quite as relentless in their efforts.) I applaud your tenacity, Panera Bread and Boston Market. Despite your valiant and exasperating efforts, I have not yet used either of you to fill my catering needs. In fact, I don’t have any catering needs. I’m able to make a sandwich spread, some soup, a salad, & even prepare a holiday meal… all for less money than what you can offer, and it has the added bonus of being homemade.
Your incessant plugging of your catering service smacks of so much desperation, that it struck me with an idea. You’re both figuratively fighting for my dollar, why not an actual fight for my dollar? I’m not suggesting fisticuffs, although your frequency of mentioning catering services suggest that you may indeed jump right in. I’m suggesting you each prepare a meal for a party, and I will only pay the not-quite-fast-food chain that makes the best meal. Fight for my dollar! Sorry, I can’t really contain my excitement at the prospect of such a tournament. I bet we could get a reality TV show in on this. If not, I could certainly get someone with a digital camera, and we could post the contest & the results on YouTube. I’m sure it would go viral. Can you imagine the bragging rights?
The judges would be those in attendance to my party. You can certainly do your own background checks and interviews to ensure no partiality or preconceived bias. I can even leave myself out of the proceedings, as I find you both equally annoying with the catering propaganda. I could write up a review/summary at the end of the experience. The only thing you would have to lose is the cost of catering a small party… but the potential to gain respect and more advertising for your catering services. I’m enabling you, my friends. I can feel the hunger dwelling deep within you.
I can assure you of my impartiality, as I have hosted several Chili Cook-off events at my home, and have photos to prove it. I can provide you with copies of our ballots to show our proficiency in scoring food vs. food on several points. We would of course have to devise a system to compare the proverbial Boston Market apples to Panera Bread oranges, but you can trust my ingenuity on the matter, and can employ a crack team of analysts.
This would be epic, my friends. Imagine being a pioneer in this type of event! What would be next? Qdoba vs. the Honey Baked Ham Co.? The KFC bucket vs. your local grocery store’s prepared foods? If you don’t like my idea, I may sign you up for my mailing list under the guise of getting coupons for my awesome letter-writing and ingenious idea services… only to solicit and re-solicit this very idea ad nasueam. Using your own logic, you will have no choice but to comply!
Or, you could just have your CEO’s arrange a fist-fight in some parking lot, and I’ll literally give the winner a dollar.
Thank you for your time, I really hope that you give my idea serious consideration. I will be ready when you say yes to the event. We can work out the event and the details quite easily. I actually have a “Batman movie night” coming up, and it would be great to cater that. (Although, my wife may be making some Batman logo cookies… but we’ll make sure no one can vote for her catering services, she would most likely win hands-down with Batman cookies at a Batman movie party.)
May the best chain win!
-ERiC AiXeLsyD
Vaunted food contest professional.
Panera wrote back first…
Date: Wed, Aug 10, 2011
Subject: RE: Contact Us [Something not on this list] — MESSAGEID(288118)
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.comDear Waldo,
Thank you for taking the time to contact Panera Bread. We are sorry to hear about your disappointment with our catering advertising. The current promotion is simply one way to let our catering customers know that the option is available. We always strive to provide a wonderful meal, great service and a welcoming environment for our all our customers and hope that you will continue to enjoy Panera Bread. I will let our Marketing decision makers know how you feel, so that your opinion will be considered.
Thanks again for contacting us. We appreciate your business and value your comments.
Sincerely,
Isabella
Customer Comment Coordinator
Oh yeah, Waldo? With Google+ getting all crazy & stuff, I didn’t want to merge my “regular” Gmail address with the fake one, so I change the W(aL)D email name to Waldo Lunar. So, my email comes as Waldo Lunar, but I still signed it “Eric AiXeLsyD”.
From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Aug 11, 2011
Subject: Re: Contact Us [Something not on this list] — MESSAGEID(288118)
To: Isabella <isabella.contactus@panerabread.com>Thanks Isabella,
I’m glad that you understand my frustration at being pummeled with advertising, and that you’re willing to pass the sentiment along to the appropriate parties. I applaud you for your efforts, and the swiftness with which you replied! I’m on the fence with Panera bread due to this whole “holding the dressing” thing, and the “healthy” chicken noodle soup debacle. I mean, those homemade-looking noodles were awesome. The little square things lying sparsely in the greasy broth are sad little stabs into my heart. Perhaps I must move on to the broccoli soup.
Has anyone else written to you in regards to the barrage of advertising? More importantly — Is Panera interested in the catering “battle royale” that I proposed? If we can get Boston Market on board, I think this will be a stellar time. You were much more expeditious with your reply. I trust that you believe in your brand/product enough to put it to the test? I can try to get some TV people on board once I get confirmation from the principal parties. I’m sure you can see from my first email that I’ve already put much thought into the logistics. The prospect of it all has me quite excited.
Thank you once again for your time and diligent response. Have a great day, and I hope to hear from you again soon!
Hungry,
-ERiC AiXeLsyD
Vaunted food contest professional.
I sort of got a response from Boston Market…
From: <sbrooks1@bost.com>
Date: Thu, Aug 11, 2011
Subject: Boston Market suggestion response
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.comGood Afternoon
Thank you for submitting your suggestion to our catering department. We certainly appreciate the time you took to write and do value all customer feedback. Upon receipt of this information, I will create a report and forward your comments to the Market Leader for your region and our Marketing Department for consideration.
Again thank you for your feedback
Syrenia Brooks
Guest Contact Center Specialist
Huh? I smell a standard “please don’t bother us” email here. I still think my idea has merit, and I want a catering throw-down. Think I can push it any further? I’ll certainly try.
We clip coupons. Why not, right? If I’m going to get something cheaper for a minimal effort, why not? It makes sense.
What doesn’t make sense, is the supposed value that coupons represent. They seem more like advertisements to me… to get you to buy a product, or to get you into the food joint & make you buy more stuff than you need since you’re getting something for free anyway. So, I guess from that end, they do make sense to the coupon presenter.
To me, they fall in two categories, restaurant coupons and grocery coupons…. and there are several sub-categories thereafter.
Any more, they seem to be useless unless it’s something straight-up for free with no catches… or a straight dollar (or cents) amount off of one item. I don’t want or need to buy two packs of hot dogs to save a dollar. I don’t ever need two quarter-pounders or big roast-beef sandwiches.
Brand-name coupons usually don’t seem to bring the price down enough to compete with the off-brand, or the store brand. On some things, like Heinz Ketchup, the difference is important… but on others like laundry soap… I really don’t see the difference between Tide or All or Cheer or Purex the plethora of other ones out there.
Fast food coupons seem to be the most frustrating… now that everyone has value meals or value combos or combo meals, why are they still giving out “free fries” or “free side” coupons? You always need to purchase a sandwich and a drink to get the free side… which puts you at the price of the combo meal anyway… possibly more if you were going to “up-size” at all.
The breakfast ones are the best deals… most likely because no one is coming in for breakfast. We know this is just to get us in the door.
Perhaps I’m pessemistic. I’d like to put some research into seeing how much these kinds of coupons actually save you. I know… fast food is an evil that I ought to just avoid anyway according to my friend Dave. I know he’s right, but I seem to fall into the trap anyway.
Do you find coupons to ever be useful? Are they ever for something you were going to get anyway, or are you settling for something other than what you would order otherwise? Have you ever gone somewhere with a coupon, then pocketed it because there was a better deal existing already, or the savings really weren’t worth not getting exactly what you wanted?
World (and Lunar) Domination 