So,what awesome cheap guitar moves have you pulled on stage? I’m a horrible guitar player, but I can wow a crowd with some flash, flair, and goofy-looking guitars. I’m guilty of the checked following…
☑ Playing behind the head.
☑ Playing while squatting with guitar in between knees, reaching arm through legs from behind.
☑ Playing while falling/laying down.
☑ Dropping-trou and continuing to play.
☑ Playing on knees bending back until head almost touches the ground.
☑ Sad 80’s dance move with shuffling feet while playing.
☑ Playing on chairs.
☑ Playing on tables.
☐ Playing on the bar.
☑ Walking outside & in another door if possible with a wireless.
☑ Sitting in a seat with a wireless.
☑ The Chuck Berry/Angus Young walk.
☑ Switching instruments mid song.
☐ Using a beer bottle as a slide.
☑ Using a mic stand as a slide.
☐ Blowing bubblegum bubbles. (Like Doyle.)
☑ Drinking mid song.
☑ Injuring a band mate by accident. (I chipped the lead-singer/bass player’s tooth.)
☐ Injuring a band mate on purpose.
☑ Improvising a mic stand out of duct tape, a hockey stick, & gatorade bottles. (Hey, we were playing at a dek-hockey rink.)
☐ Playing on someone’s shoulders.
☐ Playing while someone is on your shoulders.
☑ Playing from behind a wooden bear statue with the guitar on the front of the bear.
☐ Putting a lit cigarette under the strings in the headstock.
☐ The amp-hump. (Like Jimi.) ☑ The guitar-as-a-phallic-symbol air-hump. (Like Rex from the Lone Rangers in Airheads.)
☐ The guitar toss – Badass edition. (Like Prince – also, check out the falling into the crowd move!!!)
☐ The guitar toss – Oops edition. (Like Prince with the borrowed Epiphone or Krist Novoselic on MTV.)
☐ The guitar toss – Someone else catches & starts playing.
☐ Smoke-bombs. (Like Ace Frehley.)
☐ Set Fire to the guitar. (Like Jimi.)
☐ The windmill. (Like Pete.)
☑ The powerslide.
☑ The failed powerslide.
☐ Swinging from the rafters. (Hard to do while actually playing? This dude did it.)
☐ The “‘round the world” spin.
☐ The failed “round the world” spin.
☑ Yelling out a second story window mid-set for people to come into the bar.
☐ The “nyah-nyah you can’t see me” EVH turn-around.
☐ The flying karate kick.
☑ On the knees.
☐ On top of a piano. (Like Slash.) ☑ Dancing with the crowd.
☑ Duel of the Fates – using another musician’s fretboard as a slide. ☑ The salute – All in the air.
☑ The Poison-ish choreographed lean.
☑ Lean on a bandmate.
☑ Lean into a bandmate.
I know there are more. I know photos & videos exist of some of these with me. I know this post can get goofy. Please, I implore you to share your moves, including videos, animated gifs, and photos in the comments! This kind of stuff is hilariously entertaining to me.
What’s your favorite to do? What’s your favorite to watch? What have you copied? What have you invented? What did I miss on this list? Share your stories and images and favorite stuff from your favorite performers!
Now, for the self-indulgence:
Under the nuts.
Through the legs!
Three Axe Salute
Like a turtle
On yo’ knees.
Push n’ shove
The other choreographed lean
The campfire solo
Dance with the crowd!
Duel of the fates
Sweep the leg.
Wireless Table Dance
Behind the dome.
Lean on me
Attention, bear-f__ker, do you require assistance?
Message / Comment: Please take me off of your emailing list, i live in ohio amd everytime this lady makes a purchase at her kmart store in Georgia i get an email with her receipt information on it. This is very annoying and would appreciate it if you can fix this matter . Thank you
From: Waldo Lunar <email@example.com> Date: Sun, Aug 26, 2012 at 10:53 PM Subject: Re: Fw: W(aL)D Feedback To: firstname.lastname@example.org Cc: email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org, KmartGamerHelpMe@searshc.com, email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com
Good Day to you, Larry!
I laughed out loud when I saw your email. Thank you for making my day. Sadly, I am unable to assist you with your Kmart matter, as I am not Kmart, don’t work for Kmart, and do not represent Kmart.
Perhaps though, you can also appreciate the irony of emailing me (the wrong person) about emails that are going to you (also in error). It’s like an Alanis Morissette song, only actually ironic.
I’m guessing that in trying to email firstname.lastname@example.org, you actually searched for it, & found my blog. From there, you somehow found my contact form, erroneously thinking that the “contact” in question was Kmart… ignoring wholly my blog title, the url or the header photo featuring all of my guitars. Not even the question “How’d you find my blog?” in the contact form dissuaded you. Kudos for forging ahead, I commend you for your persistence.
I am rather frequently mistaken for McDonald’s. I have no idea why. I don’t think people realize that they’re searching for email addresses instead of emailing them. I have even been told that my blog’s url is printed on McDonald’s receipts. (It’s not.) Do you know the difference between a web browser and a mail client? How about the difference between a URL and an email address?
Should I write to all the people who have mistakenly contacted me and ask them for advice? They have hopefully moved on to correct their issues & seek the help that they were actually looking for. Maybe they will share their triumphs?
Mr. Holland, good luck in your quest to stop receiving emails gone awry, and hopefully I will also do well with mine. (Although, it is indeed humorous blog fodder.)
It’s absolutely nothing like rain on your wedding day,
Professional Customer Service Liaison, Esq. World (and Lunar) Domination
It’s happening again. Someone thinks I’m McDonald’s and that my website is printed on McDonald’s receipts. This is the message that was in my inbox on Friday night:
From: Jay Culp <email@example.com> To: firstname.lastname@example.org Sent: Friday, July 27, 2012 8:45 PM Subject: W(aL)D Feedback
Name: Jay Culp Email:email@example.com Website:http://google Message / Comment: I was up mcdonalds on walnut street in mckeesport bout 2 months ago they messed up my whole order i called up there took my name address was suppose to seed me coupons bout never got them order 2 big mac got big macs w tomatoes and order 4 mcchichens w kep only they had everything on them was just wondering how long i got to wait for my coupons. How’d you find my blog?: on recreipt
Sadly… I am not McDonald’s. Well, sadly for you & many others… not so sadly for me. Although, I would perhaps enjoy the salary of a sole McDonald’s executive let alone the company as a whole. Although, if you own Google like the website field suggests, you know what I mean, my friend. You could by and sell my economically-challenged ass.
I guess though, that you apparently used Google to find my website. Thisperplexes me though, and has on multiple occasions:
“How’d you find my blog?: on recreipt”
I’m pretty sure that no area McDonald’s locations print my website address on their receipts. If they do, they need to pay me for customer service services rendered. After all, I do reply until the situation is resolved (on my end anyway).
I’m guessing that a manager’s email address (not a website) was printed on your receipt. I’m guessing you Googled that email address and it brought you to my site because that address or a similar one appears on my blog.
As a general rule of thumb… if it contains the “@” symbol, it’s an email address. A lot of websites are preceded by “http://” or “www.” but not always. A website would end in “.com”, “.net”, .”org”, or something similar & would not contain any “@” symbols.
Entering either a website or an email address into Google will search for that website or email address. If you’d like to go directly to the website, enter that into the address bar of your favorite web browswer. If you’d like to email someone, enter their address in the “To:” filed of Outlook, other mail client, or in your webmail… however you choose to access email.
If you can reply to me with the exact text written on your receipt, I will be glad to write to McDonald’s on your behalf. I have experienced some success in dealing with fast food companies & getting coupons or other free stuff. We, the little people, must band together against such mega-corporations who want nothing more than to take our money and treat us like the cattle they serve.
Certainly two months is a reasonable time in which to receive coupons as an apology to poor service. Your order seems reasonable… although correct me if I’m wrong but McChicken sandwiches don’t normally have ketchup and Big Macs don’t normally have tomatoes. It’s an interesting flavor palette you bring forth. I may have to try it. Ever have a McChicken with the sweet & sour nugget sauce? That is fantastic. It’s even better at Wendy’s with their chicken sandwich & sweet & sour sauce. And, if you’re not swept up in the current Chick-fil-A controversy, I’d go for their sandwich with the honey mustard sauce. Some older crazy lady always tries to push the Chick-fil-A Sauce on me, but she’s nuts… the Honey Mustard is far superior. Also, I still miss the Arch Deluxe… especially when it had round bacon… not Canadian bacon, but round normal American bacon… with black pepper. That sandwich was the work of a genius.
I haven’t been to McKeesport in quite a while. I was at a recording studio there years ago and someone’s car got broken into while we were all inside rocking out. I had a drink or two at the Elbow Room that was across the street. Funny name… although inside it had a nautical theme… which didn’t seem to fit the name. I guess elbows everywhere would have been creepy.
I’m sorry, I seem to get off track easily. I’m guessing you didn’t take the tiem to read my blog when you landed there after your Google search. Instead, you went directly to the “Contact” page. I like that. I see you’re all business. The title World (and Lunar) Domination at the top didn’t even deter you.
You might want to check out these blog posts though…
I can’t really offer up anything else as proof that ⓐ I’m not Mcdonald’s and ⓑ My website isn’t on the receipt.
I seriously would like to help out though, if I can. If you could reply with a photo or scan of the receipt, or simply just type the address/phone/email address in the reply, I’ll write to them on your behalf… Cc:ing you and keeping you in the loop. I tried to help Jane, but never heard if that situation was resolved. Some people are just ungrateful for assistance, I guess.
I hope this message finds you well, and that you have a good day, my friend. I look forward to hearing from you.
Professional Customer Service Liaison, Esq. W(aL)D
P.S. – Ever want to “Crop-Dust” at a restaurant when people are being exceptionally rude?
A McDonald’s McChicken sandwich. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I wonder if I’ll get a reply? I’d love it if this guy actually wants my help and provides a valid email address to someone at the McKessport McDonald’s. How do you think they’d respond to a 3rd party? They never did thank me for helping to get that one fryer-cleaner company paid.
It’s happening again. I still say it’s a fail of smart phones & tablet PC‘s in their navigation of the internet. At least I hope that’s the problem. It could just be that some people are really not that bright. Maybe it’s a reading comprehension problem. They see a post about McDonald’s & complaints and they hit “contact” thinking they’re somehow contacting McDonald’s, blissfully unaware that the url in the address bar is https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/ and has nothing to do with McDonald’s. I’m guessing that this is thanks to Google sending everyone who searches “McDonald’s” & “email” or “complaint” to me. Maybe the magic words are “McDonald’s” & “Contact”?
Actually, my incredible WordPress site stats show me most of the search terms that people used to land on my blog today. The culprits are most likely…
firstname.lastname@example.org (3 searches)
email@example.com (1 search)
mcdonalds food tv advertisement (1 search)
mcdonalds hand washing procedures (2 searches)
As you’re reading this, can you say it with me? Seriously, out loud. Ignore the people around you as they look at you like you’re crazy. Take a deep breath. Say it with me:
Eric Carroll(a.k.a. ERiC AiXeLsyD, a.k.a. Waldo Lunar, a.k.a. Bronco Jalapeño)is not McDonald’s. He does not work for McDonald’s. Emails sent through the contact form at aixelsyd13.wordpress.comwill not reach McDonald’s. If I contact World (and Lunar) Domination inexplicably thinking that it is somehow related to McDonald’s (or Kmart), I will be publicly ridiculed on the internet.
I may have to put that on my contact page. I’m guessing you won’t read it anyway if you’re crazy enough to send me an email without really reading anything else on my page.
If the stuff was coming right to my email address, I could almost understand it. But, this is being typed into (or cut & pasted into) the contact form at my site… which looks like nothing related to anything on any McDonald’s website. This most recent one is different in that this McDonald’s is apparently delinquent on a payment to a company that cleaned out their most likely disgusting dirty fryer. This is much more serious than a simple screwed-up order or ignorant employee. I’ll share it with you…
From: Jane Farrell <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: █████████████@█████.com Sent: Wednesday, May 2, 2012 3:08 PM Subject: W(aL)D Feedback
Name: Jane Farrell Email:email@example.com Message / Comment: I sent you a message about Mcdonalds#14518 located at 1101 East Tremont Ave. in the Bronx, N.Y. We went there to repair their frymaster fryer and they refuse to pay us. You sent me a email on 4/4/12 Ref#8770056 that you would send my letter to the regional office in my area. I haven’t been paid as of yet. I would appreciate it, if you could let me know if the store was contacted. Thank You so much, I do appreciate any help in getting this paid.
Jane Farrell, Malachy Mechanical How’d you find my blog?:
Insanity. I had to write back, didn’t I? Yes. Yes, I did. I even decided to offer some help to Jane in perhaps contacting the right person or people on the matter.
From: Waldo Lunar <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com Cc: McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com; firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org Sent: Thursday, May 3, 2012 Subject: Re: W(aL)D Feedback [Sorry, I’m not McDonald’s.]
Unfortunately you’re mistaken, as you did not contact me earlier. I am not McDonald’s. I have simply blogged about McDonald’s & my interactions (or attempted interactions) with them. For some odd reason, people keep landing on my website and contacting me, thinking that I am McDonald’s. I assure you, I am not McDonald’s. I don’t work for McDonald’s. I don’t represent McDonald’s. I can’t speak for McDonald’s. I certainly can’t pay their bills. I do sympathize with you though, as McDonald’s apparent ineptitude knows no bounds. I am a blogger who makes light of their insanity with my own. If you would like to follow my journey, please see the following blog posts. They will help to prove & reinforce that I am not McDonald’s, and perhaps bring to light your own error in using my contact form instead of reaching out again to McDonald’s.
I AM NOT McDONALD’S– Like you, Harmony, Shirley, Amber, & Jeffrey mistook me for McDonald’s. This post also links to my earlier correspondence with McDonald’s in case you are interested, as well as valid alternatives to actually contact McDonald’s instead of me, because I am not McDonald’s.
I’m still not McDonald’s.– I inform Harmony, Shirley, and Amber that I’m not McDonald’s. Harmony remains unconvinced. I unintentionally angered local McManager, Scott Kausky.
OK, maybe I am McDonald’s? – Harmony’s husband steps in to assure me that I am indeed McDonald’s, even though though I am clearly not. Mr. Kausky calms down. I create some graphics proving that I am indeed not McDonald’s, & I share a McAdventure.
s,pןɐuopɔɯ ʇou ɯɐ ı– Really. I laid it all out one last time for Harmony & her McHusband. They never responded after this. Perhaps they finally got the message? I disclose more McDonald’s contact options, as I am not McDonald’s and contacting me does nothing but further amusement for myself & my readers.
McConsistency is Key. – Apparently despite all the other blog posts, I’m still the place to go to complain about McDonald’s.
I’m not Kmart. – While I’m not McDonald’s, I’m also not Kmart. Perhaps McDonald’s customers & Kmart shoppers are the same demographic?
Perhaps you’re not interested in my blogs, but in exchange for you taking the time to read them I am prepared to help you in your plight for payment. I have researched several ways for you to contact McDonald’s, none of which are the contact form located at my website. Let us go through them together:
Perhaps you should reply to the email Ref#8770056. I don’t know what the reply-to address is, because I am not McDonald’s. I didn’t have anything to do with receiving or generating anything in that email chain. Instead of replying to this email, you used my contact form.
http://www.mcnewyork.com/14518 Is their page, it has limited contact information, no contact form or email address. You can call them at (718) 824-4123 but I suppose that you have already tried that. You could use their Apply Online form to apply for a job & try to collect once you go in for an interview.
You could try the people I’ve dealt with, but it may anger them. I’ll let you dig their contact information out of my blog posts if that’s the route you’re going to take.
I hope that I have been able to provide some clarity, amusement, and even some actual help today (even though I am not McDonald’s). Good luck in your quest, this is most certainly more annoying than the usual lack of ketchup packets or pattyless burger! Have a nice day.
I walked into the house today and saw this rather large box on the couch where I normally sit. My wife had arrived home a little while earlier, and brought it inside. FedEx dropped it off on the front porch earlier in the day.
I saw my name, then the Arby’s logo, and I could hardly contain my excitement.
I mean, I thrive on the ridiculous, and this is most certainly ridiculous. This couldn’t be a box full of Bronco Berry Sauce, could it? Indeed, it could. Absolutely ridiculous. Personal supply? I mean, I like to eat but…
That is a whole lot of horses and berries! Well, it would be… if Bronco Berry Sauce actually contained any broncos or berries. The label on the box says that it’s 240 1.5 oz. containers of this decadently delightful dip. It also contained this lovely letter…
Hala Moddelmog, President of Arby's
A letter from the President of Arby’s?Hala Moddelmog rules. I mean, I don’t see the presidents of McDonald’s, Wendy’s, or Pizza Hut responding to a crazy person on the internet with such individually directed kindness & generosity.
I’m obviously going to need help finishing this case. It expires in June, so I highly doubt we can get through it all. Want some Bronco Berry Sauce? I’m willing to share what is now a rarity in our region.
I’m saddened by the news that Jalapeño Bites won’t be returning to Arby’s in Pittsburgh any time soon, but I do believe that my emails have actually been passed along. I will pass on the Occupy Arby’s sauce sit-in. But I still may write a song, even if no one helps me.
Perhaps the song will be the thing that puts our market managers and the marketing team over the edge. I’ll have to write to my new friend Ms. Moddlemog, and see exactly where to direct my comments.
I almost want to build something out of them. It looks like 1 or 2 popped (or was squeezed) open, but it’s an acceptable loss. I mean, it was free. We had some Bronco Berry Sauce tonight with a few Tyson chicken tenders for dinner in lieu of boring old bottle barbecue sauce.
Bronco Jalapeño’s appetite may be satisfied for now, but my quest is not over. Arby’s in Pittsburgh, are you listening? Bring back the Jalapeño bites! This potato bite shenanigans is just that, shenanigans.
To follow the story from the start, check out these posts: