OK, so TLC never got back to me about Missionaries Impossible (where Mormons & Jehovah’s Witnesses try to convert each other), but I will not let complete and total failure or lack of any interest in actually following up on these sorts of things keep me from writing a blog about my newest idea.
It’s called: You Drive Like an Ass!
(Hey, Shit My Dad Says made it to TV.)
All I’d need would be a car with cameras all over it. I could drive it around for a week and have enough footage for an entire season of shows. All I would have to do is drive the speed limit, and obey all traffic laws… then watch everyone around be driven completely insane by that type of apparently abnormal behavior.
I see things several times a day where people are breaking traffic laws that we all read in the book from driver’s ed, things that are unsafe, or just plain aggravating; Like flags on cars, or even worse… eyelashes-on-healights aggravating. Don’t even get me started on bicycles.
Get some people to edit it, you have a super low-cost hit. You wouldn’t even need a narrator. Just get some clips of Samuel L. Jackson swearing & we can edit them all in.
If we were in the movie Idiocracy (and don’t think we aren’t …really.), this would rival Ow My Balls!
Someone get on this, and send me the car and a royalty check.
The sign outside of Sheffield Lanes/The Fallout Shelter in Aliquippa, PA this weekend.
I’ve noticeably slowed down with blogging. Perhaps I was blogging too much before. Real life has been happening lately. The band played twice this weekend, my real job has been taxing, etc. Perhaps I’ll find inspiration more often in the days to come.
Groupon has successfully shown me what I believe to be the absolute dumbest product ever:
Car Lashes …Wait, car-freaking-lashes?
I could rant about it, but do I really need to? There would a a Herbie/Love Bug joke, pointing out that putting them on a BMW decreases the value/classiness of the car, maybe a joke about truck nuts & just maybe a reference to the movie Cars even though I’ve never seen it. Maybe even a joke about the dude I saw on My Strange Addiction who makes love to his car for the crowd who likes it blue. Maybe even an Optimus Prime humping your car joke. I have finally found something more annoying than flags on cars & more decorative than the mysterious stickermobile. If you’re going to glue stupid stuff to your car, go all the way.
If there are any people out there with money to waste on stupid things, I’m taking donations so I can buy a Flycaster.