My wife got a great shot of our cat Butterscotch in the Christmas tree. I know some amusing people. Let’s have a caption contest in the comments!
Caption this in the comments!
I got some funny ones too, but Bethany‘s shot takes the cake:
The other day, this Facebook status fell on deaf ears.
So, I ask again:
Party Light
Ever see those colored light bulbs in the store labeled “Party Lights”? I must have been invited to the wrong parties all these years. I have never been to a party with party lights. Please, if you’ve been to (or thrown) one of these zany-lighting parties… tell me what it’s like!
G.E.® Party Light Bulbs in Various Colors – 6 Pack – Standard Incandescent Bulbs
<shameless plug>
Check out this interview with Ernie and the Berts from AZ Productions!
</shameless plug>
Did you read the email that I sent to them?
I see this email reply as an (incredibly boring) invitation to go in to your local Best Buy & monkey around with everything. Especially the alarm clocks. Does Best Buy even sell alarm clocks any more? If they do, do set them all to go off at weird intervals after hours… or even 10 or 15 minutes before they close. If they’re clock radios, put them on the classical station or talk radio. Do it on the demo cell phones if you can too.
This was their only [yawn] reply:
From: online.communities <online.communities@bestbuy.com>
Date: Fri, Jun 8, 2012 at 12:05 PM
Subject: RE: A Formal Apology
To: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>Hello,
We always encourage you, our customer, to come in and look around or even test out our products, so you know what you like or don’t like about them. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us and I’ll be sure to pass this along to our Leadership Team.
Respectfully,
Justin|Community Connector
Corporate Campus
Online.Communities@BestBuy.com
I guess they didn’t “get” it, or find it amusing. Of course setting all the alarm clocks is an innocuous thing to do at best, but I was acting like it was a big deal. That’s why (I thought) it was funny. Wow. Best Buy popped my funny balloon.
What a boring dud.
English: Vintage clock radio (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
<shameless plug> Oh yeah, while you’re at it… set all the browsers to http://www.ErnieAndTheBerts.com, too. </shameless plug>
Well, I sent what I thought were going to be two rather fun emails, but they have both gone unanswered. Wow. What a giant dud. As my wife constantly reminds me, I certainly find myself amusing. So, in that spirit I thought I’d share these emails anyway. Perhaps you’ll chuckle too.
The first was to Best Buy via their form online and to the Twelpforce email address:
From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, May 31, 2012
Subject: A Formal Apology
To: twelpforce@bestbuy.comGreetings Best Buy Associates,
I write to you today to offer a formal apology. I have lived with guilt for many years, and I would like to be able to clear my conscience. Sadly, you literally asked for what you got, but you certainly didn’t deserve it my friends. I beg you in advance to not unleash the wrath of the Twelpforce or Geek Squad upon my humble self.
Do you remember the commercials from about ten or so years ago that begged one to come in & play with all of the electronics in the store? Well, I said you asked for it. You did. I simply complied.
I went into one of your stores, and tried my best to restrain my maniacal laughter as I set all of the alarm clocks & clock radios to go off at different intervals after the store closed. Some were 5 minutes, some where 10 or even 20. It was incredibly hard to stifle my giggles and pretend like I was incredibly interested in these timepieces. I don’t know how no one noticed. Now I can’t get 10 feet into a Best Buy door without a blue-shirted hawk swooping in to ask if I need help, and I’ll get asked every 3 feet after that if I turn it down. Perhaps shenanigans like mine are why?
At one time, I wished that I could have been around to see the chaos. Okay, maybe I still do. Perhaps a master switch would have cut the power to all of them after the first one went off. I won’t pretend to know the internal machinations of such a colossal retail empire. Perhaps I made a memory for that team and brought them together through adversity in the name of silencing alarm clocks. Perhaps it is a good story to tell trainees, or it may have even been forgotten over time. I was much younger & more brash then. I thought I knew everything. I thought the world was my playground. To be blunt, I was an arrogant young miscreant. I don’t remember if it was planned, or spur of the moment.
I’m sure that when the internet was still “new”, I set more than a few of your browsers to my old band’s web page & walked away. I did this in every store though, not just Best Buy. I won’t apologize for that. A pimp’s got to pimp, right?
I would like to offer an apology to Best Buy as a corporation, the Best Buy employees startled and/or annoyed that day (and their families), and to all of the Best Buy associates that have joined the team since that day (somewhere between 2000 and 2002). I believe this was at the Greensburg PA location across from Westmoreland Mall. Please pass this along to them, if there are any left that may have been working that day. I have seen the err of my ways, and I can live with the guilt no longer!
Thank you for your time, I hope you find it within you to pass along forgiveness for this egregious behavior.
Regretfully,
-Waldo Lunar
The next one was to Bed Bath & Beyond via their webform:
Do you remember those Best Buy commercials from 10 or so years ago where they asked you to come in & try the stuff out?
I did. I went in one night & set all of their alarm clocks to go off about 5, 10, 15, or 20 minutes after closing. I bet it was hilarious. I only wish I had been there to see it. I bet that happened often.
I noticed that you have a lot of kitchen timers and egg timers. What time do you close?
Thanks,
-Waldo
I thought it was funny. Apparently Best Buy and Bed Bath & Beyond did not. I did get the standard “we got your message, someone will write back with in 3 days” replies, over a week ago. I really thought Best Buy would come out with a witty intelligent retort. You’d think an electronics company would be helmed by geeks who found humor in such ridiculousness. Bed Bath & Beyond apparently do not go too far into the beyond part. Oh well.
Best Buy (Photo credit: Ron Dauphin)
Bed Bath and Beyond (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
As a blogger, I guess I should heed some of these rules? I found this where Ramy dropped it.
How to Write Good
This reminds me of one of the best movies ever.
It’s happening again. I still say it’s a fail of smart phones & tablet PC‘s in their navigation of the internet. At least I hope that’s the problem. It could just be that some people are really not that bright. Maybe it’s a reading comprehension problem. They see a post about McDonald’s & complaints and they hit “contact” thinking they’re somehow contacting McDonald’s, blissfully unaware that the url in the address bar is https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/ and has nothing to do with McDonald’s. I’m guessing that this is thanks to Google sending everyone who searches “McDonald’s” & “email” or “complaint” to me. Maybe the magic words are “McDonald’s” & “Contact”?
Actually, my incredible WordPress site stats show me most of the search terms that people used to land on my blog today. The culprits are most likely…
As you’re reading this, can you say it with me? Seriously, out loud. Ignore the people around you as they look at you like you’re crazy. Take a deep breath. Say it with me:
Eric Carroll (a.k.a. ERiC AiXeLsyD, a.k.a. Waldo Lunar, a.k.a. Bronco Jalapeño) is not McDonald’s. He does not work for McDonald’s. Emails sent through the contact form at aixelsyd13.wordpress.com will not reach McDonald’s. If I contact World (and Lunar) Domination inexplicably thinking that it is somehow related to McDonald’s (or Kmart), I will be publicly ridiculed on the internet.
I may have to put that on my contact page. I’m guessing you won’t read it anyway if you’re crazy enough to send me an email without really reading anything else on my page.
If the stuff was coming right to my email address, I could almost understand it. But, this is being typed into (or cut & pasted into) the contact form at my site… which looks like nothing related to anything on any McDonald’s website. This most recent one is different in that this McDonald’s is apparently delinquent on a payment to a company that cleaned out their most likely disgusting dirty fryer. This is much more serious than a simple screwed-up order or ignorant employee. I’ll share it with you…
From: Jane Farrell <janef@malachymechanical.com>
To: █████████████@█████.com
Sent: Wednesday, May 2, 2012 3:08 PM
Subject: W(aL)D FeedbackName: Jane Farrell
Email: janef@malachymechanical.com
Message / Comment: I sent you a message about Mcdonalds#14518 located at 1101 East Tremont Ave. in the Bronx, N.Y. We went there to repair their frymaster fryer and they refuse to pay us. You sent me a email on 4/4/12 Ref#8770056 that you would send my letter to the regional office in my area. I haven’t been paid as of yet. I would appreciate it, if you could let me know if the store was contacted. Thank You so much, I do appreciate any help in getting this paid.Jane Farrell, Malachy Mechanical
How’d you find my blog?:Time: Wednesday May 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm
IP Address: ##.###.###.##
Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/
Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.
Insanity. I had to write back, didn’t I? Yes. Yes, I did. I even decided to offer some help to Jane in perhaps contacting the right person or people on the matter.
From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
To: janef@malachymechanical.com
Cc: McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com; info@mcdonalds.com; ny.14518@us.stores.mcd.com; mcd.14518@us.stores.mcd.com
Sent: Thursday, May 3, 2012
Subject: Re: W(aL)D Feedback [Sorry, I’m not McDonald’s.]
Hello Jane,
Unfortunately you’re mistaken, as you did not contact me earlier. I am not McDonald’s. I have simply blogged about McDonald’s & my interactions (or attempted interactions) with them. For some odd reason, people keep landing on my website and contacting me, thinking that I am McDonald’s. I assure you, I am not McDonald’s. I don’t work for McDonald’s. I don’t represent McDonald’s. I can’t speak for McDonald’s. I certainly can’t pay their bills. I do sympathize with you though, as McDonald’s apparent ineptitude knows no bounds. I am a blogger who makes light of their insanity with my own. If you would like to follow my journey, please see the following blog posts. They will help to prove & reinforce that I am not McDonald’s, and perhaps bring to light your own error in using my contact form instead of reaching out again to McDonald’s.
- I AM NOT McDONALD’S – Like you, Harmony, Shirley, Amber, & Jeffrey mistook me for McDonald’s. This post also links to my earlier correspondence with McDonald’s in case you are interested, as well as valid alternatives to actually contact McDonald’s instead of me, because I am not McDonald’s.
- I’m still not McDonald’s. – I inform Harmony, Shirley, and Amber that I’m not McDonald’s. Harmony remains unconvinced. I unintentionally angered local McManager, Scott Kausky.
- OK, maybe I am McDonald’s? – Harmony’s husband steps in to assure me that I am indeed McDonald’s, even though though I am clearly not. Mr. Kausky calms down. I create some graphics proving that I am indeed not McDonald’s, & I share a McAdventure.
- s,pןɐuopɔɯ ʇou ɯɐ ı – Really. I laid it all out one last time for Harmony & her McHusband. They never responded after this. Perhaps they finally got the message? I disclose more McDonald’s contact options, as I am not McDonald’s and contacting me does nothing but further amusement for myself & my readers.
- McConsistency is Key. – Apparently despite all the other blog posts, I’m still the place to go to complain about McDonald’s.
A bonus post, somewhat related:
- My guest post on Ya Jagoff!!! | Who Designed The Fast Food Drive Thru? Here I point out the insanity of their request to have my order ready before I can even see a menu.
A super-special extra bonus post:
- I’m not Kmart. – While I’m not McDonald’s, I’m also not Kmart. Perhaps McDonald’s customers & Kmart shoppers are the same demographic?
Perhaps you’re not interested in my blogs, but in exchange for you taking the time to read them I am prepared to help you in your plight for payment. I have researched several ways for you to contact McDonald’s, none of which are the contact form located at my website. Let us go through them together:
- Perhaps you should reply to the email Ref#8770056. I don’t know what the reply-to address is, because I am not McDonald’s. I didn’t have anything to do with receiving or generating anything in that email chain. Instead of replying to this email, you used my contact form.
- You could try to Tweet at the McDoanld’s Twitter Team.
- http://www.mcnewyork.com/14518 Is their page, it has limited contact information, no contact form or email address. You can call them at (718) 824-4123 but I suppose that you have already tried that. You could use their Apply Online form to apply for a job & try to collect once you go in for an interview.
- I see from your email address that you work at Malachy Mechanical, perhaps you have some rather large intimidating men that work for you? You could send them over with large wrenches to look intimidating & collect payment. The address is 1101 East Tremont Avenue, Bronx, NY 10460 and they have terrible reviews on Google.
- Try the McDonald’s Facebook page.
- The McDonald’s website has a Restaurant Feedback form that you might try, instead of my contact form.
- You could try McSucks.com and McDonaldsSucks.com to voice your concerns?
- You could try to email McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com or info@mcdonalds.com, neither of which are me.
- I believe (630) 623-3000 & (800) 244-6227 are the phone numbers for corporate, and not me.
- Looking at the syntax of other emails, ny.14518@us.stores.mcd.com or mcd.14518@us.stores.mcd.com may be valid email addresses.
- A Google search of “@us.stores.mcd.com” & “New York” has also brought up these possible helpful McEmployees, none of which are me: Erin.kendrick@us.stores.mcd.com, heather.weidenbruch@us.stores.mcd.com, aaron.smith@us.stores.mcd.com, roger.curtis@us.stores.mcd.com, JOANNE.GIRARDI@US.STORES.MCD.COM, HUBLER@US.STORES.MCD.COM, james.beary@us.stores.mcd.com, tina.millette@us.stores.mcd.com
- You could try the people I’ve dealt with, but it may anger them. I’ll let you dig their contact information out of my blog posts if that’s the route you’re going to take.
I hope that I have been able to provide some clarity, amusement, and even some actual help today (even though I am not McDonald’s). Good luck in your quest, this is most certainly more annoying than the usual lack of ketchup packets or pattyless burger! Have a nice day.
I am not McDonald’s,
-Eric Aixelsyd
World (and Lunar) Domination
Do you think she’ll write back?
Frymaster Fryer
You must read this blog by Omawarisan, he swears that this is the only photo he’s ever taken in a public restroom:
Employees Must Wash Hands « Blurt.
I propose a revolution where these signs are strictly adhered to.
We all know my feelings on public restrooms, hand-washing signs, bathroom attendants, and stupid signs in general. Omiwarisan takes it to the next level. I applaud his ingenuity and regularly enjoy his blog. You should check it out.
Check out this sweet post (& the rest of the blog) from Guitar WTF?: I Miss My Corner Guitar Store « Guitar WTF.
A sample:
…At first I was mad, but then I though it would be more fun to get even. Yeah, I know, its immature.
How To Be Annoying At The Guitar Store
- When a sales person is talking to another customer listen in. After everything they say you say, “that’s what you think”.
- Ask the sales person for a pick, immediately put it in your pocket and leave the store.
