I’m on a few super gear-nerdy and G.A.S.-educing groups on Facebook. To the Awesome Cheap Guitars group, I recently posed this question:
So,what awesome cheap guitar moves have you pulled on stage? I’m a horrible guitar player, but I can wow a crowd with some flash, flair, and goofy-looking guitars. I’m guilty of the checked following…
☑ Playing behind the head.
☑ Playing while squatting with guitar in between knees, reaching arm through legs from behind.
☑ Playing while falling/laying down.
☑ Dropping-trou and continuing to play.
☑ Playing on knees bending back until head almost touches the ground.
☑ Sad 80’s dance move with shuffling feet while playing.
☑ Playing on chairs.
☑ Playing on tables.
☐ Playing on the bar.
☑ Walking outside & in another door if possible with a wireless.
☑ Sitting in a seat with a wireless.
☑ The Chuck Berry/Angus Young walk.
☑ Switching instruments mid song.
☐ Using a beer bottle as a slide.
☑ Using a mic stand as a slide.
☐ Blowing bubblegum bubbles. (Like Doyle.)
☑ Drinking mid song.
☑ Injuring a band mate by accident. (I chipped the lead-singer/bass player’s tooth.)
☐ Injuring a band mate on purpose.
☑ Improvising a mic stand out of duct tape, a hockey stick, & gatorade bottles. (Hey, we were playing at a dek-hockey rink.)
☐ Playing on someone’s shoulders.
☐ Playing while someone is on your shoulders.
☑ Playing from behind a wooden bear statue with the guitar on the front of the bear.
☐ Putting a lit cigarette under the strings in the headstock.
☐ The amp-hump. (Like Jimi.)
☑ The guitar-as-a-phallic-symbol air-hump. (Like Rex from the Lone Rangers in Airheads.)
☐ The guitar toss – Badass edition. (Like Prince – also, check out the falling into the crowd move!!!)
☐ The guitar toss – Oops edition. (Like Prince with the borrowed Epiphone or Krist Novoselic on MTV.)
☐ The guitar toss – Someone else catches & starts playing.
☐ Smoke-bombs. (Like Ace Frehley.)
☐ Set Fire to the guitar. (Like Jimi.)
☐ The windmill. (Like Pete.)
☑ The powerslide.
☑ The failed powerslide.
☐ Swinging from the rafters. (Hard to do while actually playing? This dude did it.)
☐ The “‘round the world” spin.
☐ The failed “round the world” spin.
☑ Yelling out a second story window mid-set for people to come into the bar.
☐ The “nyah-nyah you can’t see me” EVH turn-around.
☐ The flying karate kick.
☑ On the knees.
☐ On top of a piano. (Like Slash.)
☑ Dancing with the crowd.
☑ Duel of the Fates – using another musician’s fretboard as a slide.
☑ The salute – All in the air.
☑ The Poison-ish choreographed lean.
☑ Lean on a bandmate.
☑ Lean into a bandmate.
I know there are more. I know photos & videos exist of some of these with me. I know this post can get goofy. Please, I implore you to share your moves, including videos, animated gifs, and photos in the comments! This kind of stuff is hilariously entertaining to me.
What’s your favorite to do? What’s your favorite to watch? What have you copied? What have you invented? What did I miss on this list? Share your stories and images and favorite stuff from your favorite performers!
Now, for the self-indulgence:
Attention, bear-f__ker, do you require assistance?
Lean on me
Sweep the leg.
Like a turtle
Listen to that sustain
Push n’ shove
On yo’ knees.
Duel of the fates
The Choreographed Lean
Lean back ’til you can’t no mo’
Behind the dome.
Under the nuts.
Three Axe Salute
Behind the Dome (Again)
The other choreographed lean
Wireless Table Dance
Through the legs!
Dance with the crowd!
The campfire solo
Posted in Disbanded Bands, Funny Stuff, Guitars, I Need Your Feedback, Life, Your Band, \m/
Tagged Ace Frehley, Airheads, AiXeLsyD, AiXeLsyD13, Angus Young, Awesome Cheap Guitars, ☘, Chuck Berry, comment, dancing, Degenerated, Doyle, Doyle Wolfgang von Frankenstein, 🎸, Eddie Van Halen, Epiphone, ERiC AiXeLsyD, Eric Clapton, Ernie and the Berts, EVH, facebook, feedback, G.A.S., Gasoline Dion, Gel Eyeliner, guitar, Guitar Acrobatics, Guitar Moves, Guitar Spin, Guitar Toss, guitarist, Guitarobatics, guitars, Guns N' Roses, Interaction, KISS, Lit Cigarette, Lone Rangers, Misfits, Pete Townshend, Poison, post, Prince, punk rock, Rex, ridiculous, ridiculousness, Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, share, shenanigans, show-off, showboating, showmanship, showoff, Slash, Stage Moves, staged moves, Steve Buscemi, Table Dance, The Eyeliners, The Lone Rangers, The Misfits, Ugly Guitars, Van Halen, wireless
Cover of Cloak & Dagger
OK, the last post was serious. This one can be goofy …ridiculous even. Help me out in the comments.
- I’m thankful for my Dewey Decibel FlipOut because it hurts people’s heads.
- I’m thankful that I can tell my wife to get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, and she laughs & knows I’m not sexist. It’s even better when I do something like this in the grocery store in front of elderly people.
- I’m thankful that I don’t live any closer to the ocean.
- I’m thankful that people read this blog, and pretend to find it entertaining.
- I’m thankful that I’ve never purchased a Clarks album.
- I’m thankful that I’m old enough to be like “back in my day” to you younglings.
- I’m thankful that Al Gore invented the internet.
- I’m thankful that I got to see Guns N’ Roses live before they imploded, and the Ramones before they quit & died.
- I’m glad that I can remember the cold war. Russians were much more fun than terrorists. Cloak & Dagger or The Experts anyone?
- I’m thankful that posting photos of food on Facebook is a ridiculously friend polarizing action.
- I’m thankful that Boston Market is funny.
- I’m thankful that I’m not these people or McDonald’s.
- I’m thankful for kitten calendars.
- I’m thankful that I’m not the person who bags giblets at the turkey factory, then shoves them in the turkey’s nether-regions. (My apologies to those who are that person.)
- I’m thankful for your eventual comments.
Posted in Life
Tagged Al Gore, back in my day, back in the day, Boston Market, calendars, Cold War, elderly, facebook, funny, Guns N' Roses, humor, internet, kittens, make me a sandwich, McDonald's, old, Ramones, Russians, sandwich, thanful, thanks, Thanksgiving, United States, Wife, younglings