Axl ‘Leaks’ Possible New GN’R Tunes


Recent reports have surfaced that Guns N’ Roses’ sole founding member and self-proclaimed demigod Axl Rose may have literally leaked tunes to the upcoming GN’R “reunion” album. TMZ has posted but since redacted an audio clip of Axl Rose passing gas taken via iPhone by a fan in an adjacent restroom stall at a roadside rest stop in Tennessee. Lucky listeners may note that the flatulence has a powerful sound that when transcribed as musical notes or tablature would make an incredible guitar riff hearkening back to the Appetite era, and sounds light years heavier anything on Chinese Democracy.

Axl squeezing one out on stage.

Axl squeezing one out on stage.

The fan asked Rose to autograph a sanitary toilet seat cover, but Rose declined stating that his new boss, Angus, wouldn’t allow it. Further investigation showed that someone had ripped the dispenser off the wall and urinated all over it anyway.

When Ultimate-Guitar.com reached out to Dave Mustaine for comment, Dave enlightened the all of rock and metal fandom…

“Axl and I had the same voice coach right around the time that I was kicked out of Metallica for writing better riffs than Jaymz and being a bigger douche than Lars. I’m great friends with Slash since we used to do heroin together, but I have to say that Axl’s farts make better riffs than the too-low-in-the-mix guitars the last Velvet Revolver album, whatever it was called.”

Dave went on to tell everyone that he wrote all of the essential building blocks for Metallica’s albums up until the black one, and that he could play all of the Metallica Metallica riffs and solos in his sleep with his balls on a Hello Kitty ukulele.

Izzy Stradlin recently came out of his hole, saw his shadow, and asked Blabbermouth.net to get off of his lawn.

Sebastian Bach tweeted about the news, adding that Axl’s farts not only sound great, but that they smell like fresh roses and have since 1997. He wishes he could maximize his own lower orifice potential and maybe that would finally convince the other guys in Skid Row to take him back.

Slash and Duff McKagan could not be reached for comment. Dizzy Reed and Gilby Clarke tried to comment, but no one would listen. Steven Alder has an upcoming exclusive interview with the every-other-week best-sale-ever flyer from Guitar Center, keep reading with us for updates when we steal that story before doing any fact-checking.

Matt Sorum still wants to punch Axl in the face, but would take the gig with Axl/DC if the current drummer tries to kill anyone.  He has been asking Rush if he can join their band.

Axl has also been rumored to be singing for Queen (to be billed as Rocket Queen), and for Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, & Jason Bonham in a project billed as Red Zeppelin since Robert Plant won’t return any of their calls.  Rose’s trash collector’s brother denies rumors of Axl fronting a Dio-era Black Sabbath/Heaven & Hell tribute tour which may or may not include Bill Ward.

In related news, a special episode of ABC’s Celebrity Wife Swap will have Joe Perry and Slash trade places for a week to see how the other guy deals with each other’s wives & bands for two weeks on tour.

Very Specific Taste?


So, I blog occasionally about the search terms that land people here… but this is a special kind of awesome:

Search Terms

porn yinz maze

This person searched & clicked twice… or two kindred spirits out there really need to meet.

Spock ''Fascinating.''

Seriously.

What does one get when you search “porn yinz maze“?  Apparently something here at this blog.  I get the maze, I get the yinz, …but porn?  Maybe I need to draw a maze with boobies and put the word Yinz in it to satisfy this potential reader.

If you’re out there & you’ve managed to find your way back… what exactly were you looking for?  A maze of Pittsburgh?  A maze of porn?  Did your iPhone auto-correct “maize” to “maze” and “corn” to “porn”?

Fascinating.

Should I make a maze book?


If I published a book of my mazes, would you buy it?  Know anyone who would?  Think there’s a market for it?  I’ve recently been talking to another dude online that drew mazes in the past that are mazes similar to mine (in addition to some other very cool stuff), and who’s going for it through Amazon.  The rationale is even if he only sells one or two a month, it’s still income he didn’t have.  There’s always Kickstarter or Lulu, too.

I know there are some other maze creators out there… and there are maze books.  Is it a big genre?  Are people willing to pay for that kind of stuff any more?

I’d love it if someone could make an app where you can complete one of my mazes with your finger or a stylus on an Android, iPhone, tablet PC, or E-reader.  I don’t know to what end… but it would be fun.  Any interested developers out there?

I’d have to scan, sort, arrange, and of course draw some more… maybe even figure out the solutions… but I think I could get it all put together.

What do you think?

Peculiarly Perplexing Path [Maze]

Peculiarly Perplexing Path

Cellular Menaces (via 3kalb)


Here I’ll link you to a great post by 3kalb.  I hate cell phones in public places.  It’s annoying, it’s rude, it’s ridiculous.

Do you not realize that the others around you are annoyed by hearing half of your conversation?  Do you not care that you’re holding up the line?  Do you not care that you’re broadcasting intimate details of grandpa’s prostate operation to everyone?  Do you not care that you’re talking at 3x your normal volume level?

Of course not.

By the title, I hope that– *ring ring ring* Oh I’m sorry, I forgot I was talking, my phone went off and I just had to take it. Let me finish my opening statement. I hope that it is obvious where I am going with this pet peeve. Simply put, cell phones are a major nuisance and addiction that cannot be stopped! Where do I see cell phones? In schools. In offices. In cars. In malls. In fastfood establishments. In restaurants. On the streets. On the b … Read More

via 3kalb

PUT. IT. DOWN.

PUT. IT. DOWN.

New AllergyEats App


So, I’ve blogged about Allergy Eats many times before.  You know I think it’s an awesome resource, but can only be useful if users rate restaurants.  Now, it’s easier than ever to do… with new iPhone and Android apps!

AllergyEats Apps!

AllergyEats Apps!

AllergyEats T-shirt

AllergyEats.com

You can read the word from Allergy Eats about the release here or get the app you need here.

Paul from AllergyEats is good people, he recently donated to FAAN for my Food Allergy Walk in Pittsburgh!

I encourage you to spread the word to anyone that you know with food allergies, so we can all take advantage of the awesome ever-expanding database now available anywhere that you can get cell phone service!

http://twitter.com/#!/AllergyEats/status/108896162949496832

http://twitter.com/#!/allergicgirl/status/108895739429658624