Tag Archives: McDonald’s

If I owned a department store chain…


Every time I go to a Walmart, Target, Kmart, etc. I’m driven slightly mad. Sure, part of it is because of the stores themselves or the employees who seem to be rather uninterested in working… But most of the problem is the other shoppers. I was going to put a percentage on it, but I’m not sure I can. I think is a small percentage of idiots with a largely negative impact. Well, idiot just implies that they’re stupid. I think it’s more inconsiderate than stupid. I’m talking about people who are generally unaware of the needs, thoughts, and feelings of everyone around them. The best word that I can think of (even though I generally try to avoid being vulgar in print) is asshole. We all know what kind of person that describes. If I owned/ran a department store, I would try to prevent the behavior that goes with this type of personality.

Parking Lot

Parking Lot

Curbing unacceptable behavior would start in the parking lot (pun intended). One of my favorite blogs calls these people “Peter Parkers.”  They’re where the problem begins.  If your jackass behavior can’t make it through the parking lot, we’ll hope you don’t even bother to come in to the store.  Whether we’re talking about people driving & parking the wrong way in one way lanes, people who park over the lines, people who don’t slow down/stop at cross-walks, or people who park in handicapped spaces or on the line-covered spaces near the handicapped spaces.  That’s just the drivers…  Don’t forget that people need to learn how to walk to their car in a parking lot too.

Crossing Guard

Crossing Guard

To curtail all of this inconsiderate conduct we’d have meter maids, crossing guards, and cameras.  I guess the meter maids wouldn’t have meters to read, they’d just be parking enforcers.  Cars parked over painted lines, at curbs, or in handicapped spaces without proper tags will be towed.  Immediately.  I’m saying we’d go after them mere seconds after it happens, perhaps as their door is being shut.  The parking enforcers wouldn’t be like the people on that TV show where they argue.  They’d just do their job.  I’d have a tow truck or two on site at all times.  I have no tolerance for people who think that rules somehow don’t apply to themselves.  (I’m talking about inconsequential rules here like how to conduct yourself in society.  I think it’s always good to question authority & what not… but that doesn’t apply here where you’re just being a self-indulgent dolt.) 

People entering & exiting the store wouldn’t have the free reign to walk out into oncoming traffic.  Somehow (here in PA at least) people have taken “pedestrians have the right of way” to the extreme, where the actual law is that they have the right of way in crosswalks.  Everywhere else, you’re fair game.  A crossing-guard would facilitate safe passage and at the same prevent a traffic jam like you get in the front of every Walmart or Giant Eagle when an endless stream of lackadaisical shoppers lumber slowly in front of you without glancing in your direction as you sit in your auto waiting for a break in the action.  If the people who like to park wherever they please or run into oncoming traffic with faith in an imaginary no-fault law somehow don’t feel welcome in my department store, then good.  We’ve successfully weeded out the first wave of assholes.  If they have learned to conduct themselves in a respectful manner while spending time in my controlled outdoor environment, then let ’em in!

Amish parking, Cashton, 29 June 2012

Amish parking

(Oh yeah, bicycles would have their own parking lot… they’d share it with buggies & horses in Amish country, and buses would roll to the edge of the parking lot, not right to the front door causing endless amounts of chaos.)

Inside the store, we’d have checkout lines like the bank, Wendy’s, or Best Buy.  People can be incredibly ignorant when it comes to getting in line.  It’s certainly not everyone, but there are a select few who ruin it for everyone else.  See any McDonalds or Sheetz without the rope at lunch time.  It’s absolute chaos.

Queue Area

Queue Area

I know they’re not department stores… but it’s easier to see the same behavior there as it’s more concentrated.  It would eliminate getting into line behind the people who want to put things back, use expired coupons, write checks, talk on their phones, shop for everything in the impulse-buy section, or search for their method of payment long after everything is rung up.

In fact, no checks.  All it does is slow things down.  It’s 2012.  It’s almost 2013.  If you have a bank account, you have a debt card or credit card, some of them are even called check cards now.  Use it.  Don’t use that antiquated paper log-book that does nothing but slow things down for everyone.

No Checks Accepted

In my store, there would be no greeter that avoids eye contact completely or looks at you like you’re the grim reaper come to take them to hell.  Maybe there would be a robot there to say hello.  At least a robot could fake sincerity more efficiently.

Even though it doesn’t have to do with behavior exactly, the restrooms would have faucets in the sinks (with hot water) that you can fit your hands under, paper towels that are actually stocked regularly, hand dryers that actually dry your hands, and soap.  No foam soap, no hand sanitizer, no bathroom attendants to do it for you.  It might put people in a better mood if they can be comfortable.

I’m sure there are many other things I’d have to put in place, and many other bad customer behavior… but these are the ones I can think of now.

What would you do to make a trip to a department store more tolerable?  Would you enjoy it if stores weeded out the a-holes?  Are you one of the people who behaves like an a-hole by parking in the wrong spots, jumping to lines in front of people, and walking like an idiot in the parking lot?  Please, share your thoughts in the comments section below!

last minute shoppers.

last minute shoppers. (Photo credit: the idealist)

Ketchup Packets & Dip & Squeeze…


I recently got this message via my contact form:

From: V Preboski <vpreboski@aol.com>
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback

Name: V Preboski

Email: vpreboski@aol.com

Message / Comment: Just wanted  to address this  issue I have with all fast food chains….Why can you make dipping containers for dipping sauces  bit not for ketchup  ????

How’d you find my blog?: Snooping around

Time: Tuesday August 28, 2012

IP Address: ##.##.##.##

Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/

Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.

It’s a familiar subject to me.  I have ranted on the same subject in the past, long before the Heinz dip & squeeze packets came out.  Check out my old rant:

Ketchup / Catchup / Catsup / Katsup / Ketsup

Current mood:contemplative

 

KETCHUP PACKETS ARE SO 1900'S!

KETCHUP PACKETS ARE SO 1900’S!

Yup.  You know what I’m talking about.  I like it.  However you spell it.  I like Heinz Ketchup.  I would like to know wht fast food places like McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Chick-Fil-A, and Burger King don’t serve ketchup in the same little cups that they use to serve the dipping sauces for chicken nuggets.  WTF, fast food conglomorates?  Your packets do not help me eat french fries or waffle fries.  I usually have to make a mess on a napkin or tray paper to enjoy dipping my fries in sweet tomato and vinegar flavored heaven.  Why should I have to do this?  Get with the times!  Stop using antiquated ketchup packet technology!  It’s 2006, damnit!

I want to dip my fried salty potato product without making a mess!

Yes, I realize we still need packets for use on burgers and chicken sandwiches and what-not…  but why not design a new container that can be used to dip in… or used to squeeze the ketchup out?  Imagine if you were the fast food giant to jump on that first…  you could patent the product and dominate the ketchup distribution industry.  Other restaurants would have to bow to you once it caught on, and pay you for the right to use this space-age individual serving size ketchup containment and distribution system!

Okay.  I might seem a little extreme in my verbalization of the idea here.  But, imagine the possibilities.

How I would love to dip fries in ketchup that I did now have to squeeze out of a tube on to a piece of paper.  I mean, really?  Are you supposed to squeeze a drop out on to each fry individually, or what?

Wherever cheese is available for fries, it always comes in little dip-friendly containers.  Can you imagine cheese in packets?  The idea is just ridiculous you say?  I agree!  And, I submit to you the thought that ketchup in packets is just as ridiculous my friends.  Inside your restaurants, you even serve it out of pumps into those little paper cups.  What good do those cups do to a man on the go, or in the food court?  No, good I say.  No good indeed.

Think, my friends.  Think of ketchup.  Think of science.  Think of dining pleasure.  Think… of the future!

Here are some responses that I got from various sources

The light bulb has been turned on…

Current mood:pleased

Remember my earlier blog/rant about ketchup packets?  Well, I e-mailed it to some fast food restaurants, and I have received some responses.  I thought I’d share:

From: Gayle Goshorn
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Date: Feb 28, 2006 4:45 AM
Subject: TCF: Ketchup Container
TO:    Eric Aixelsyd
FROM:  Gayle Goshorn

Thank you for taking the time to write to us. I will pass your concerns on to our MTO Sales Manager about looking into ketchup containers.  Thank you and we do appreciate hearing from our customers.

Best Regards,
Gayle Goshorn


From: McDonaldsCorporation@mcd.com
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Date: Mar 3, 2006 2:04 AM
Subject: Message from McDonald’s USA

Hello Eric:

Thank you for contacting McDonald’s and sharing your comments with us. We greatly appreciate this opportunity to address your concerns.

I’m sorry you were disappointed with our ketchup packets. At every McDonald’s we strive to deliver 100-percent Total Customer Satisfaction. With every customer, we’re committed to serving the highest quality products possible.

Because you are a valued customer, I have shared your comments with our Quality Assurance team. They work closely with our suppliers to ensure that all of our products are of the highest quality possible. Your complete satisfaction is our top priority.

Again, thank you for bringing this matter to our attention. We hope to have the opportunity of serving you again.

Tim
McDonald’s Customer Response Center

ref#:3441932


From: Chick-fil-A Cares

>Mailed-By: na.ko.com
Reply-To: Chick-fil-A Cares
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Date: 6 Mar 2006 10:05:21 -0500
Subject: RE: Chick-fil-A Web Form Message

Dear Mr. Aixelsyd:

Thank you for taking the time to contact Chick-fil-A CARES.  Our customers are very important to us, and we appreciate their comments, questions, and suggestions.

Regarding your suggestion about offering ketchup containers, I hope you’ll find the following information helpful.

Every year we receive literally hundreds of ideas from customers regarding items they would like to see on our menu or offered at our restaurants.

We especially appreciate customers who take the time to share their thoughts and ideas with us.  Thank you for the product suggestion.  We will keep the idea of adding ketchup containers in our future product discussions.

We thank you again for your time and interest and look forward to seeing you in one of our local Chick-fil-A restaurants soon.  As a token of appreciation for your time and effort, I’ll be sending you one “Chick-fil-A CARES” guest card which should arrive at your provided address in 7 to 10 business days.  Don’t hesitate to let us at Chick-fil-A CARES know should you need our assistance again.  Have a nice day!

Sincerely,
Kim W.
Chick-fil-A CARES
Chick-fil-A…We Didn’t Invent The Chicken, Just The Chicken Sandwich.
On the Web at www.chick-fil-a.com

P.S.  Please retain your Thread ID in the message body.  This will help us locate your information should you need us again.

[THREAD ID:1-EP8FBH]

Heinz's 'Dip & Squeeze,' introduced in 2011 as a 'true packaging breakthrough.' The top portion can be torn off to apply ketchup; the bottom can be peeled back for dipping.

Heinz’s ‘Dip & Squeeze,’ introduced in 2011 as a ‘true packaging breakthrough.’ The top portion can be torn off to apply ketchup; the bottom can be peeled back for dipping.

Basically, I had the idea… as did many others, but they didn’t want to pay any of us for it.  At first, only Chick-fil-A had the new dip & squeeze packets around the ‘Burgh, but I believe the McDonald’s in Bridgeville just started using them, not sure about others.

So Mr./Ms. Pebroski, I can say the time has come… a new ketchup packet has arrived.  More people just need to start using it.

I’m not sure if I have helped, how I could possibly help, or why you wrote to me, but I’m glad you did!  I hope this answers your question(s).

Seems like I even contacted Heinz, but I can’t find the first message:

From: <Heinzconsumeraffairs@us.hjheinz.com>
Date: Tue, Feb 16, 2010 at 2:58 PM
Subject: Re: In Response to your Website Comments – Ref # 003141412A HEINZ/JNEEL
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

February 16, 2010

Dear Eric,

Thank you for your comments about our Heinz Dip & Squeeze ketchup!

We understand your excitement – we can hardly wait for this breakthrough packaging to find Heinz Ketchup lovers, like yourself, so you can enjoy it even more on-the-go.

Heinz Dip & Squeeze is an exciting evolution of the ketchup packet which was introduced 42 years ago –-and a new, fun way for Americans to enjoy the ketchup they’ve loved for over a century.

Heinz Dip & Squeeze is just beginning to roll out into the marketplace with plans to have it nationwide by the end of 2010.   It is currently available at select quick service restaurants in the Midwest and Southeast, with additional markets and partners planned for the coming months.

Thanks so much for sharing your comments – we’ll certainly make sure they are passed on to our Packaging and Marketing staff.

Heinz Consumer Resource Center
Heinzconsumeraffairs@us.hjheinz.com

When contacting us, please refer to the following reference number: 003141412A

HEINZ/JNEEL

I must have submitted that via webform, so I wrote back:

From: ERiC AiXeLsyD <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, Feb 17, 2010 at 10:11 AM
Subject: Re: In Response to your Website Comments – Ref # 003141412A HEINZ/JNEEL
To: Heinzconsumeraffairs@us.hjheinz.com

Dear Heinz Consumer Resource Center,

Well, thank you for the response.  I can’t help but wonder why the product wasn’t rolled out here in Pittsburgh?  I mean, Pittsburgh certainly appreciates all things, Heinz… no?  I mean, the the name brand is almost synonymous with the region.  I love the animated neon sign now visible on my way from destinations north of the city toward my home in Dormont through the Liberty Tubes.  I can’t count the times I’ve been to Heinz field for varying events.  I have ketchup bottle & pickle pins somewhere at home.  I even have a tiny Heinz ketchup bottle (“liberated” from a hotel in Knoxville, TN) in with my antique beer/pop bottle collection.

I’ve ranted at the turnpike plazas along the highway in Ohio on my way to Cleveland, because they have the audacity to serve some kind of generic “Fancy Ketchup” and not Heinz so close to the ‘Burgh.  You can hardly buy Hunt’s ketchup if you tried in local stores… and really who in their right mind would try?

Why weren’t the yinzers given first access to this new ketchup delivery technology? Heinz and ‘Yinz‘ even end in the same 3 letters!  Pittsburghers know ketchup, my friends.  Why wasn’t this rolled out on the home turf for a test run or to show some Yinzer pride and appreciation?

Thank you for your time, I look forward to your reply!

Thanks,
-Eric

Of course they wrote back again…

From: <Heinzconsumeraffairs@us.hjheinz.com>
Date: Wed, Mar 3, 2010 at 2:06 PM
Subject: Re: In Response to your Website Comments – Ref # 003141412B HEINZ/JNEEL
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

March 3, 2010

Dear Eric,

Thank you for your additional comments about the new Heinz Dip n Squeeze cups.

Unfortunately we have no time table for when the product is rolling out here in Pittsburgh. We are as eager as you are to find these in our favorite restaurants. Keep watching, they should make their debut by the end of the year.

You may like to know that there is a Heinz Ketchup facebook page. There are lots of interesting facts to be found there as well as comments by Heinz Ketchup fans from all over the world.

Thanks again for contacting us.  We appreciate your interest.

Heinz Consumer Resource Center
Heinzconsumeraffairs@us.hjheinz.com

When contacting us, please refer to the following reference number: 003141412B

HEINZ/cl

From: <Heinzconsumeraffairs@hjheinz.com>
Date: Thu, Mar 4, 2010 at 10:50 AM
Subject: Re: In Response to your Website Comments – Ref # 003141412C KWHITE/JNEEL
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

March 4, 2010

Dear Eric,

Thank you for your email to our Communications Team.  They have asked Consumer Affairs to respond.

While not currently available in Pittsburgh, yinz should know that Heinz did test the product very first with some of our loyal consumers here at home during the Fall of 2009.  People gave Dip & Squeeze a big thumbs up!  It was a big hit.

Hopefully this makes you feel better because we do appreciate the hometown crowd.

Like you, those of us in Pittsburgh are waiting with bated breath to have the chance to get Dip & Squeeze and use it while we’re on the go.  Stay tuned and thanks for being one of our loyal consumers.  Have you friended us on Facebook?  If not, please join in the fun.

Karen
Heinz Consumer Resource Center
When contacting us, please refer to the following reference number: 003141412C

KWHITE/cl

Crazy.

Really, I haven’t forgotten.


Haven’t been blogging much lately, but I have a new job, am trying to get mazes done when I can, and I’ve been researching several potential purchases to help with said job online.  I will no doubt get back to blogging once things level out.

Any advice on which Epipen leg pouch I should get?  The OmaxCare™ LegBuddy™, the Allergy Essentials Epissentials™ Epipen Holder, or something else?

OxmaCare™ LegBuddy™

OxmaCare™ LegBuddy™

Epissentials™ Epipen Case

Epissentials™ Epipen Case

Medipouch Leg Wrap

Medipouch Leg Wrap

I finally got my prescription renewed, & got a double-pack. Thankfully I’ve never had to jab myself with one.  I did try the practice one a few times.  So, what do you do with your expired ones?  Does anyone take donations or recycle them?

Help Me Reach My Goal!

Help Me Reach My Goal!

Don’t forget, I’ll be doing the FAAN Walk For Food Allergy on Sept. 16th in Pittsburgh, and I could certainly always use more donations!  I’m only about a third of the way to my goal this year, so I can certainly use some help.

I’m also always trying to figure out how to come up with cash to buy more goofy guitars, and Ernie and the Berts is writing more stuff & hoping to record ASAP.  I try to catch other local & national shows when I can.

Of course, I’m also spending time with the wife, as we have some fun stuff coming up… like weddings, hopefully the Renaissance Fair soon, the Food Allergy Walk, a camp service for church, and more.

I’m still not Kmart or McDonald’s, but I do have some blog feedback that I need to address.

I might have some more stuff asking opinions in the next few days.

Oh, the irony.


So, a guy sending an email to the wrong person to complain about receiving emails in error is indeed irony, correct?  (If so, someone should tell Alanis Morissette or her song writers.)

Kmart - Jefferson City, MO

Kmart – Jefferson City, MO (Photo credit: robertstinnett)

This time, I’m not mistaken for McDonald’s, but I am mistaken for Kmart once again.  I’m guessing he searched for “help@customerservice.kmart.com” because I see it in my site stats, and when I searched it myself I came up 3rd in Google’s results.  Do people still not know the difference between a browser and an email client or a url and an email address?

Odd:

From: Larry Holland <holland_04@yahoo.com>
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Sunday, August 26, 2012 9:05 PM
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback

Name: Larry Holland

Email: holland_04@yahoo.com

Message / Comment: Please take me off of your emailing list, i live in ohio amd everytime this lady makes a purchase at her kmart store in Georgia i get an email with her receipt information on it. This is very annoying  and would appreciate it if you can fix this matter . Thank you

How’d you find my blog?:

Time: Sunday August 26, 2012 at 9:05 pm
IP Address: ##.###.##.###
Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/
Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.

Kmart Greenville, NC

Kmart Greenville, NC (Photo credit: daysofthundr46)

So, I decided to reply:

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, Aug 26, 2012 at 10:53 PM
Subject: Re: Fw: W(aL)D Feedback
To: holland_04@yahoo.com
Cc: help@customerservice.kmart.com, info@kmart.com, kmart@ietf.org, customer.satisfaction@kmart.com.au, KmartGamerHelpMe@searshc.com, onlineshop@kmart.com.au, kmart@value.kmart.com, sm3616@searshc.com

Good Day to you, Larry!

I laughed out loud when I saw your email.  Thank you for making my day.  Sadly, I am unable to assist you with your Kmart matter, as I am not Kmart, don’t work for Kmart, and do not represent Kmart.

Perhaps though, you can also appreciate the irony of emailing me (the wrong person) about emails that are going to you (also in error).  It’s like an Alanis Morissette song, only actually ironic.

I’m guessing that in trying to email help@customerservice.kmart.com, you actually searched for it, & found my blog.  From there, you somehow found my contact form, erroneously thinking that the “contact” in question was Kmart… ignoring wholly my blog title, the url or the header photo featuring all of my guitars.  Not even the question “How’d you find my blog?” in the contact form dissuaded you.  Kudos for forging ahead, I commend you for your persistence.

Did you use your phone to do all of this?  I’m guessing smartphones are leading to dumb mistakes.  No one ever replies when this happens.  They’re either too embarrassed to write back or insistent & argumentative(Kmart may respond to this.)

I am rather frequently mistaken for McDonald’s.  I have no idea why.  I don’t think people realize that they’re searching for email addresses instead of emailing them.  I have even been told that my blog’s url is printed on McDonald’s receipts.  (It’s not.)  Do you know the difference between a web browser and a mail client?  How about the difference between a URL and an email address?

I’m guessing the woman in Georgia gave the wrong address, or perhaps the Kmart employee wrote it down wrong…  I would suggest trying to actually email help@customerservice.kmart.com, although I have Cc’ed them on this email in hopes that they will help out.  Alternatively, you can try their customer service website: http://www.kmart.com/cskmtemail/nb-100000000441003?adCell=W3

Should I write to all the people who have mistakenly contacted me and ask them for advice?  They have hopefully moved on to correct their issues & seek the help that they were actually looking for.  Maybe they will share their triumphs?

Mr. Holland, good luck in your quest to stop receiving emails gone awry, and hopefully I will also do well with mine.  (Although, it is indeed humorous blog fodder.)

It’s absolutely nothing like rain on your wedding day,
-Waldo Lunar
Professional Customer Service Liaison, Esq.
World (and Lunar) Domination

Hope that clears things up.

Seriously; I’m not McDonald’s, but I will try to help.


It’s happening again.  Someone thinks I’m McDonald’s and that my website is printed on McDonald’s receipts.  This is the message that was in my inbox on Friday night:

From: Jay Culp <culp915@comcast.net>
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Friday, July 27, 2012 8:45 PM
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback

Name: Jay Culp
Email: culp915@comcast.net
Website: http://google
Message / Comment: I was up mcdonalds on walnut street in mckeesport bout 2 months ago they messed up my whole order i called up there took my name address was suppose to seed me coupons bout never got them order 2 big mac got big macs w tomatoes and order 4 mcchichens w kep only they had everything on them was just wondering how long i got to wait for my coupons.
How’d you find my blog?: on recreipt

Time: Friday July 27, 2012 at 8:45 pm
IP Address: ##.##.###.###
Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/
Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.

I wrote back with this:

From: Waldo Lunar world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Date: Mon, Jul 30, 2012
Subject: Re: W(aL)D Feedback
To: culp915@comcast.net

Hello Jay,

Sadly… I am not McDonald’s.  Well, sadly for you & many others… not so sadly for me.  Although, I would perhaps enjoy the salary of a sole McDonald’s executive let alone the company as a whole. Although, if you own Google like the website field suggests, you know what I mean, my friend.  You could by and sell my economically-challenged ass.

I guess though, that you apparently used Google to find my website.  Thisperplexes me though, and has on multiple occasions:

How’d you find my blog?: on recreipt”

I’m pretty sure that no area McDonald’s locations print my website address on their receipts.  If they do, they need to pay me for customer service services rendered.  After all, I do reply until the situation is resolved (on my end anyway).

I’m guessing that a manager’s email address (not a website) was printed on your receipt.  I’m guessing you Googled that email address and it brought you to my site because that address or a similar one appears on my blog.

As a general rule of thumb… if it contains the “@” symbol, it’s an email address.  A lot of websites are preceded by “http://&#8221; or “www.” but not always.  A website would end in “.com”, “.net”, .”org”, or something similar & would not contain any “@” symbols.

Entering either a website or an email address into Google will search for that website or email address.  If you’d like to go directly to the website, enter that into the address bar of your favorite web browswer.  If you’d like to email someone, enter their address in the “To:” filed of Outlook, other mail client, or in your webmail… however you choose to access email.

If you can reply to me with the exact text written on your receipt, I will be glad to write to McDonald’s on your behalf.  I have experienced some success in dealing with fast food companies & getting coupons or other free stuff.  We, the little people, must band together against such mega-corporations who want nothing more than to take our money and treat us like the cattle they serve.

Certainly two months is a reasonable time in which to receive coupons as an apology to poor service.  Your order seems reasonable… although correct me if I’m wrong but McChicken sandwiches don’t normally have ketchup and Big Macs don’t normally have tomatoes.  It’s an interesting flavor palette you bring forth.  I may have to try it.  Ever have a McChicken with the sweet & sour nugget sauce?  That is fantastic.  It’s even better at Wendy’s with their chicken sandwich & sweet & sour sauce.  And, if you’re not swept up in the current Chick-fil-A controversy, I’d go for their sandwich with the honey mustard sauce.  Some older crazy lady always tries to push the Chick-fil-A Sauce on me, but she’s nuts… the Honey Mustard is far superior.  Also, I still miss the Arch Deluxe… especially when it had round bacon… not Canadian bacon, but round normal American bacon… with black pepper.  That sandwich was the work of a genius.

I haven’t been to McKeesport in quite a while.  I was at a recording studio there years ago and someone’s car got broken into while we were all inside rocking out.  I had a drink or two at the Elbow Room that was across the street.  Funny name… although inside it had a nautical theme… which didn’t seem to fit the name.  I guess elbows everywhere would have been creepy.

I’m sorry, I seem to get off track easily.  I’m guessing you didn’t take the tiem to read my blog when you landed there after your Google search.  Instead, you went directly to the “Contact” page.  I like that.  I see you’re all business.  The title World (and Lunar) Domination at the top didn’t even deter you.

You might want to check out these blog posts though…

I can’t really offer up anything else as proof that ⓐ I’m not Mcdonald’s and ⓑ My website isn’t on the receipt.

I seriously would like to help out though, if I can.  If you could reply with a photo or scan of the receipt, or simply just type the address/phone/email address in the reply, I’ll write to them on your behalf… Cc:ing you and keeping you in the loop.  I tried to help Jane, but never heard if that situation was resolved.  Some people are just ungrateful for assistance, I guess.

I hope this message finds you well, and that you have a good day, my friend.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Excelsior!

Waldo Lunar
Professional Customer Service Liaison, Esq.
W(aL)D

P.S. – Ever want to “Crop-Dust” at a restaurant when people are being exceptionally rude?

A McDonald's McChicken sandwich.

A McDonald’s McChicken sandwich. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I wonder if I’ll get a reply?  I’d love it if this guy actually wants my help and provides a valid email address to someone at the McKessport McDonald’s.  How do you think they’d respond to a 3rd party?  They never did thank me for helping to get that one fryer-cleaner company paid.

Looks like you can actually contact the McKeesport McDonald’s via Webform: http://www.mcpennsylvania.com/2842/contact/manager/

But, how fun is that?  None at all, I say.

Really though, “I was up McDonald’s…” How Yinzer is that?  Fantastic.  Let’s hope that this isn’t another fake message, and that Mr. Culp writes back.

The Arch Deluxe composition from an advertisement

The Arch Deluxe composition from an advertisement (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Mac Frosty & Ruben Tug


I’ve been struck by a prankster, but I know who you are.  One message came via the webform, one came via email:

Webform:

From: Mac Frosty <kb3ugw@gmail.com>
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Monday, June 25, 2012 12:21 AM
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback

Name: Mac Frosty

Email: kb3ugw@gmail.com

Message / Comment: I went to you store on west liberty ace to get a smoothie. But my smoothie tasted like chocolate mint. You need to clean your fryers better so this want happen again. I also think all of the black people in ads H for slice are racist. Take them off the air , or I’m calling Obama.

Sincerely
Mac

How’d you find my blog?: It was in my reciept

Time: Monday June 25, 2012 at 12:21 am
IP Address: ##.##.###.##
Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/
Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.

Email:

From: KB3UGW <kb3ugw@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Jun 25, 2012 at 12:27 AM
Subject: Webforms Suck, so I’m emailing you directly!
To:world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com” <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>

It’s like boom it’s like slam I swear that I’m telling you the facts, that’s how I beat.

Ac supafresh

Chocolate mulk cycad define the juice. Don’t be a pussy , eat it. Your fries are too greasy and 44 cent for BBQ save.   You crazy like randy randy  save Mcdonald rib pork patty I need roo feed

And bring back the pizza.

Ruben tug

I see that we have an avid reader, here, calling out that I hate webforms & all.  It did take me a second to realize that it was not actually someone thinking I’m McDonald’s (again).  I mean, you’ve seen the emails right?

At any rate, Google outed you Mac (or Ruben).  Pull up your pants, there are ladies present.

Goofy Search Terms


Lots of people looking, no one commenting.

Amusing Search Terms
Search Views
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Not sure if I have that here… Try their website?
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dey mylan epipen commercial 1
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Boy did that ad get everyone’s panties in a bunch!
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Check out Food Allergy Fun for the best food allergy cartoons!
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graphs and tables on food intolerance 1
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You like stats, don’t you?  I doubt my graph was much help.  Are you using this for a report for your schoolwork?
“rep. matt smith” and food allergy 1
emergency epi pen act 1
the emergency epipen bill 1
I’d like a consumer push, but legislation is nice too.
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are scallops a sea bug (Yes.) 1
blog allergic reaction to shellfish 1
coworkers friends and family don’t understand my shellfish allergy (Preach on! & Read this & this & this.)
2
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joe’s crab shack allergy 1
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pill bug allergy (They are creepy & they’re crustaceans.) 1
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Where are you people Leave some comments!
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I hope whoever wanted to “promote” anaphylaxis was just typing wrong.
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Is Sonic hiding something? Why are so many searching for this & landing here?
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Is someone at Kennywood saying they’re allergic to stupid people, or complaining about “stupid” paying customers with allergies?
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Amish on Amish crime? Way to smash those non-violence stereotypes.
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Congratulations!  You took the first step to not having a stupid band name, or one that already exists.  What did you eventually settle on?
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Me either.  They’re creepy.
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Uncle John’s, hands (pants?) down.  They’re better written, better quality, and more informative & entertaining in general.
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Did you find some good ones?
don’t forget to wash your hands 3
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Hand washing is serious business. Glad to see so many are interested.  Make sure your instructions are possible… and that the employees aren’t mandated to wash your hands.
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I have no idea what these would have linked to…
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This could be the costumes, the movie batmen, the comics, the logo… be more specific?Batman Evolution
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91 of you searched for the Batman guitar in some way.  Why did only 1 of you take the time to comment?  Tell me about yours!  (Check the Facebook page out too!)  Know anything about the manufacturer or where they’re purchased?
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Batman Rules.
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Looking for this?

Batman - Mic Check

Batman – Mic Check

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why does my urine smell like cheerios 4
Apparently this is a rampant problem that no one will comment on.  Perhaps I need to explore it further?
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The more I think about it, Century Cleaners can eat a bag of dicks.  I’m just sayin’.
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Why did these land here?
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Bronco Jalapeño demands justice They have tried to silence me with free Bronco Berry Sauce.  I will share it with the people.
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What is an Arby’s Finger?  The glove guy, or something that should be in the Urban Dictionary?  (Oh crap, it’s a news story…)
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deli tip jar 2
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krispy kreme downfall 1
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panera employee view pau stubs 1
where does panera get their meat (Most likely from dead animals.) 1
pizza poop (Happen to you, too?) 2
supplier of pizza hut sauce (I bet they won’t tell you!) 1
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I asked, they didn’t seem to find it amusing in their answer.
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Try Sheetz.com?
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weed taco pic 3
where is there not a taco bell for 900 miles (Excellent question! But, I think it was qualified by Taco Bell test markets serving the Doritos Locos thing.) 1
Maybe Taco Bell wanted to reply to my email, but were so high they just forgot?
dispute vincent’s pizza 1
vincents of green tree affiliated with vincents pizza park? (No.) 1
I heard Vincent’s in Forest Hills just closed.
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hilarious wendy’s review 1
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I didn’t even write it.  Well, I did for the West Liberty one.
glenn danzig chick on his lap 3
eric “chupacabra” arce 2
jerry only 2
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mythfits shirt mythbusters

The Mythfits

The Mythfits

2
saturday night misfits 2
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what is wrong with dr. chud 1
where eagles dare misfits 3
the undead punk band 5
What is wrong with Dr. Chud?
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7 lbs chipped ham in crock pot 2
barbecue sauce using ketchup and cola with chipped ham 2
gif bbq 1
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where to find yuengling barbecue sauce 1
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drink buttermilk with 1
how to drink buttermilk 2
old fashioned buttermilk drink 1
right time to drink buttermilk 1
turners charlies buttermilk 2
when to drink buttermilk 1
To all you haters: Buttermilk rules!
chili gi distress (Pepto’s Got U Covered!) 2
boyscout handbook electric hot dog cooker 1
do you need a cdl to drive the oscar weiner mobile (I doubt it, but it’s nice that you have a dream.  Good luck!) 1
hot dogs in toaster oven 1
how do resturants cook hot dogs (Many ways, no doubt.) 1
how to steam hot dog buns at home 1
redneck hot dog poke 2
caffiene gallikers tea 2
caffeine in turners iced tea with lemon 1
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does sweet tea have citric acid 1
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Turner’s is the best.  There’s only 1 tea in Pittsburgh, dig?
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funny graph about pizza (How about a maze?) 1
is snyder of hanover and snyder’s of berlin the same company? (No.) 1
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how do u make a food graph (Very carefully.) 1
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Now I’m hungry.
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What?
fender mini mt-10 4
fender mini twin mt-10 1
mini twin reverb 5
modifying fender mini twin 2
smokey amp 4
amplifier demonation (Is “demonation” turning it into a demon, or it’s possessed by a demon?) 1
I need to finish my mini-twin mod.
bacchus serials guitar 2
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c 302 cimar guitar 3
cimar electric guitars 2
cort starfire guitar 2
elger guitar serial number 2
falcon guitars 3
copystratocaster performer 2
fender ‘g ii e’ 3
fender g-iie 3
fender strato japan 3
fender stratocaster american sender 2
fender stratocaster ukulele 2
long sleeve fender shirt 1
lunar fender 1
flipout guitar 5
flipout, lit cigarrete 2
If you have a FlipOut, let me know!  Share yours. Leave comments!
hagstrom deluxe f d2f 1
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ibanez 627 2
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I’m the last guy you wanna learn from.
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what kinda wood is a new york pro guitar made of 3
Do you have a New York Pro too?  Know anything about them? Leave comments!
odd guitar 3
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record guitar 2
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vinyl record guitar (Mr. Bingham is an artist.) 2
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I like the weird ones.
loog guitars 2
orpheum guitars new york 1
prince guitar shapes 1
guitar shapes 3
guitar shelves 2
homemade multiple guitar stands 2
multiple guitar stand 4
ukulele stand 2
stereo types of guitarists 2
all guitars and ukulele (Looking for this?)

All of my guitars & the wife's ukulele

Guitar problem? What problem?

2
guitar wiring 4
schematic diagram of soldering gun 1
seymour duncan sh-6 2
stratocaster pickup 7
acoustic guitar pick guard decors 2
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guitar wood recycling 2
headstock shape by brand 3
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survival paint guitar 2
vote alabama’s best guitarist 1
funny math equation 1
funny maths equations 1
funny smartass comments (I’d hope there are lots here.) 2
funny waitress comic 2
little billy writes serial killers 1
mustafi donotevenreply 1
we’d like to thank bobby for coming out tonight television 1
the hard maze and the answer 3
pizza maze 9
pizza maze for kids 1
pizza mazes 2
pizza mazes for kids 2
hard maze solutions 2
yinz maze 3
a maze 2
big mazes and more 1
blow fish maze as a body 1
crazy maze 4
curvilinear maze 1
food mazes 2
fun mazes 2
hard mazes for kids to do 2
how to draw a maze 1
insane maze 1
knot maze 2
maze 20
maze “darth vader” pdf 1
maze pdf 2
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mazes customer service 2
mazes for kids 5
sidewinder maze 1
start to finish games drawing 3
this.make maze begin end 2
Send me your solutions! world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
8 mile jimmy jacket 3
airheads football helmet filled (…with cottage cheese.) 1
airheads prs guitar 1
baby secret of the lost legend 3
baby the secret of the lost legend 2
mokèlé-mbèmbé 11
back to the future 1.21 gigawatts 2
back to the future movie screenshots 4
back to the future movie screenshots 4
cinemark rain check 2
crocodile dundee shaving 1
detroit rock city trip 2
flight of the navigator slash 1
goonies monster 1
gremlins scenes 1
grindhouse poster 1
harry and the hendersons movie 2
x never ever marks the spot 2
funny monster squad 1
neverending story cartoon 1
neverending story rock monster 2
police academy icon 2
police academy logo 5
predator animated gif 2
predator laserdisc 3
shaun of the dead meme 2
khna and kirk space seed 1
spock’s domination (…of who/what?) 2
star trek logo hd gif 1
wrath of khan 2
joshua war games 3
phreaking 4
willow of good 3
zorro the complete first son 2
brooksfilms limited products 1
hacking movies 2
movies from my childhood 2
best rock and roll movies 4
best rock n roll films 1
best rock n roll movies 5
best rock roll movies 1
good movies about rock n roll 1
rock n roll movies 2012 1
top rock n roll movies 1
I dig me some movies.
3po music icon 3
ackbar it’s a mouse trap tee shirt 3
ackbar snackbar 2
admiral ackbar jump to lightspeed scene 1
bob fett cartoon blu 1
boba fett cartoon poster 2
boba fett riding dragon 1
boba fett star wars blu ray art 2
cartoon on star wars blu ray 1
dark lord of the 5th day 2
darth vader light saber room light 2
darth vader vs bane 2
death star cheese ball 3
ewok meme 2
family guy star wars chronological order 1
family guy star wars movies in order 1
funny anakin pictures 1
george lucas animated musical 1
han solo saying dont get your panties in a knot 1
origami ewok 2
phantom menace robot factory 1
star wars blu ray easter eggs 1
star wars cheese ball 2
star wars christmas special easter egg 2
star wars meme 2
star wars movie night 2
star wars movie order 7
star wars seat covers 2
star wars themed r2 alcoholic drinks 2
warwick davis star wars phantom menace 4
warwick davis yoda 2
where are the droids takei 3
Do I blog about Star Wars a lot?
ann beretta“+”blogspot.com” 2
“ann beretta”+”blogspot.com”+”fallen” 1
lesbian militants stereotype 1
rock concert funny 2
devil makes three 2
the devil makes three setlist pittsburgh 1
flogging molly may 10 2012 set list pittsburg pa 1
flogging molly setlist stage ae 2
Did you read my Flogging Molly / Devil Makes Three / Brothers of Brazil show review?
axl rose in concert 1
goddamn gallows nazi? (I hope not.) 2
go-go-rays “go go rays” 1
rancid boston 2012 1
the real mckenzies (Soon!) 2
best bass guitar intro song 1
best guitar intros 2
best guitar intros of all time 1
best guitar rock intro 1
best rock guitar intros 3
best rock intros of all time 5
great rock intros 1
greatest guitar intros 3
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greatest rock intros all time 2
list top guitar intros of all time 1
rock song with sweet guitar intro 1
songs with great guitar intros 1
top 10 songs 2012 guitar intro 1
who came up with crazy train riff 1
headbangin 2
Why not tell me what you think of my list?
snuff blah zsa mc bong bing 1
snuff lee erinmez 1
spinal tap cover 1
functionless art is simply tolerated vandalism 3
functionless-art tolerated-vandalism 1
i can’t believe katrina i was looking for my hate lyrics type o negative 1
josh silver 2
peter steel 1
peter steele 4
peter steele recent 5
type o negative? 1
wat tyler f__k pump mp3 1
1-800-553-2324 1
705 256 2357 johnny cash 1
You gonna call those numbers?
lyrics clarks toyota commercial 1
the clarks toyota commercial 3
You forgot “sucks”
dethlehem circle of death 1
beechview police blotter 2
dormont police blotter april 18 1
super moon party dormont 2
ernie tattoos 1
pittsburgh post gazette and ernie and the berts 2
Were we in the paper?
hollywood theaters 1
size of hollywood theatre screen dormont 2
kdka compares giant eagle and walmart 1
kuhns banksville 2
kuhns banksville rd customer accident 2
kuhns banksville road customer dies 1
kuhns grocers union 1
kuhn’s market banksville accident 1
kuhns mcknight 3
Did someone die in an accident at Kunh’s?
“parkway center mall” 1
Is built on top of a garbage dump, & pretty much still is one.
mark madden sally wiggin 1
sally sarah wiggin pittsburgh 1
Sally Wiggin rules.
stage ae pittsburgh not allow 1
Not allow what?  Not allow who?
green man’s tunnel guy 2
the tunnel monster 3
tunnel monster 2
It exists.
senator wayne fontana (Reads his mail.) 2
pgh photos zappa 1
pittsburgh pirates logo history 2
driving horn 2
green arrow traffic 3
linkin park hybrid theory vector 1
me first and the gimme gimmes guitars 2
angus young meme 2
@shqiptar.eu 1
dr. peter ahmed 2
chicken caesar salad scam 1
salade chicken caesar mcdo 2
google giveaway team 3
google giveaway team 13th anniversary 2
lori sandra baker 5
lori sandra scam 2
Lori Sandra is still trying to scam people?
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what is wrong if free sprint 9999 doesnt work 1
when i try to text cha cha it says unable to send due to invalid short code 1
Sprint hates you (and me).
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help@customerservice.kmart.com 9
help@customerservice.kmart.com . 1
help@customerservice.kmart.com. 1
http://www.help@customerservice.kmart.com 1
http://www.kmartfeedback.com 3
larry 2510 @gmail.com 2
ella.jones@us.mcd.com 12
mcdonalds.customercare@us.mcd.com 3
mcnews@ch.mcd.com 2
pit.03423@us.stores.mcd.com 2
aliciak@pizzamarketplace.com 1
hlpdesk@my quiznos.com 2
http://www.helpdesk@quiznos.com 1
googlegiveawayteam.asia@shqiptar.eu 2
gomez_p@subway.com 1
davidicus 39@gmail.com 2
jerry lunar lunar@yahoo.co.id 1
wwwjohn maherpa 2
Here is the root of the problem as to why people contact me thinking I’m McDonald’s or Kmart or anyone else.  They don’t know the difference between url and an email or an address bar & a search engine apparently.
babysitter dominationkid 1
english dominatrix wanker teaser 1
japanese sex and domination 1
knickers domination 1
man woman going to bathroom 4
orgasm torture in satan`s rape clinic 2004 bluray 1
poop taco 2
porn yinz maze 2
shirtless man in a kilt 2
spanish mistress domination 1
troubled teenagers teens living in 6556 clover valley road (You are a creeper of the highest order.) 1
vomiting domination 1
young chubby boy 1
fart math 8
What the hell is wrong with you people?  How in the hell did any of these land you here?
stuffed squirrel for sale 3
stuffed squirrel pictures 3
taxidermied squirrel 1
You need to visit Hoke·E·Geez!

Stuffed Squirrel on display (& for sale!) at Hoke·E·Geez (Bedford, PA)

“Help! I’m not dead! Some redneck just stapled my nuts to this driftwood!”

babysitter monster in bathroom 2
boots a clous skin hard 1
dine and ditch 2
dingleberry 2
fart canal 2
fart in math 2
gary busey tranny 2
girl liking wheelchair ride 1
kids monster bathroom wash 1
panty dropper sticker 2
proud rider of the short bus 2
reindeer playing ukulele 2
aixelsyd13 mcdonald’s 1
waldo lunar 9
world lunar domination 2
Someone’s looking for me! Did you find me? Where did you hear of me?
“joel pavuk” (Try asking The Bloody Seamen or The Botched.) 3
catherine paddock 1
cherelle flowers 2
chris thornborrow 2
frank l. visco 1
leroy mcdowell iv 2
linda cumer pittsburgh 2
michelle crouch 1
scott kausky mcdonald 1
travis stevens 2
So, are you looking for yourselves… or is someone looking for you?
13 levels of hell 1
4 colour pen 1
c64 logo 1
cartoon vhs tumblr 1
celtic cross scottish 1
cobra hood dragon fantasy 1
covelli enterprises wiki 1
crazy scientist electric 1
django’s bloodhound 1966 1
do you call it beanie or beanie hat 1
four colour pen 1
foxtrot comic strips andy cold 2
funny battle gear 1
ghetto blaster goofy t-shirt 1
giant bbq grate 2
girl riding short bus 1
graph of excedrin 3
graph of responses 1
graphs of food in civil war 1
happy birthday toy accordion 1
happy rock radio caroline 259 playlist 1
hare krishna vs moonies 1
how to play happy birthday on toy accordion 2
i just really want to kiss you right now (What?) 2
icecreamhucklebucks (I know the Legendary Hucklebucks…) 1
if you’re going through hell keep going poster 1
i’m sorry i annoyed you with my friendship 1
incessant 6
invincible meme 3
irish celtic cross back patch 1
irish cross 2
jelly carrier 1
letter of advertisement 2
lunar 2
lunar estate (Looking to buy? I’ll sell you some…) 2
mad scientist electrical 2
mad scientist electricity 1
modal video of paltry farms 2
moose logos 1
no entry sign vector 2
panira ng mood quotes tumblr 1
pick up after your dog sign vector 3
pro bendig wii 3
randi accessoires artikel 2833 artikel 2834 1
reunion phreaker 2
rocky road lift yj 2
shalom in 5 s wabash 2
sharpie market share graphs 2
short story a dog evolved and used man to throw sticks for him 2
stocking cap from moon 1
stupid employees 2
thank you for your time and clarifying on my queries 1
the draw-well ghost 2
the people upstairs (are noisy.) 3
this is crazy meme 1
title13, u.s.code, sections 141 and 193 1
vector graphics tv commercial for a gym 2
ya hand sign 2
Unknown search terms 257

See what I mean?

I assure you, I am not McDonald’s.


McJokerIt’s happening again.  I still say it’s a fail of smart phones & tablet PC‘s in their navigation of the internet.  At least I hope that’s the problem.  It could just be that some people are really not that bright. Maybe it’s a reading comprehension problem.  They see a post about McDonald’s & complaints and they hit “contact” thinking they’re somehow contacting McDonald’s, blissfully unaware that the url in the address bar is https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/ and has nothing to do with McDonald’s.  I’m guessing that this is thanks to Google sending everyone who searches “McDonald’s” & “email” or “complaint” to me.  Maybe the magic words are “McDonald’s” & “Contact”?

Actually, my incredible WordPress site stats show me most of the search terms that people used to land on my blog today.  The culprits are most likely…

  • mcdonalds.customercare@us.mcd.com (3 searches)
  • ella.jones@us.mcd.com (1 search)
  • mcdonalds food tv advertisement (1 search)
  • mcdonalds hand washing procedures (2 searches)

As you’re reading this, can you say it with me?  Seriously, out loud.  Ignore the people around you as they look at you like you’re crazy.  Take a deep breath.  Say it with me:

Eric Carroll (a.k.a. ERiC AiXeLsyD, a.k.a. Waldo Lunar, a.k.a. Bronco Jalapeño) is not McDonald’s.  He does not work for McDonald’s.  Emails sent through the contact form at aixelsyd13.wordpress.com will not reach McDonald’s.  If I contact World (and Lunar) Domination inexplicably thinking that it is somehow related to McDonald’s (or Kmart), I will be publicly ridiculed on the internet.

I may have to put that on my contact page.  I’m guessing you won’t read it anyway if you’re crazy enough to send me an email without really reading anything else on my page.

If the stuff was coming right to my email address, I could almost understand it.  But, this is being typed into (or cut & pasted into) the contact form at my site… which looks like nothing related to anything on any McDonald’s website.  This most recent one is different in that this McDonald’s is apparently delinquent on a payment to a company that cleaned out their most likely disgusting dirty fryer.  This is much more serious than a simple screwed-up order or ignorant employee.  I’ll share it with you…

From: Jane Farrell <janef@malachymechanical.com>
To: █████████████@█████.com
Sent: Wednesday, May 2, 2012 3:08 PM
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback

Name: Jane Farrell
Email: janef@malachymechanical.com
Message / Comment: I sent you a message about Mcdonalds#14518 located at 1101 East Tremont Ave. in the Bronx, N.Y.  We went there to repair their frymaster fryer and they refuse to pay us. You sent me a email on 4/4/12 Ref#8770056 that you would send my letter to the regional office in my area. I haven’t been paid as of yet. I would appreciate it, if you could let me know if the store was contacted. Thank You so much, I do appreciate any help in getting this paid.

Jane Farrell, Malachy Mechanical
How’d you find my blog?:

Time: Wednesday May 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm
IP Address: ##.###.###.##
Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/
Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.

Insanity.  I had to write back, didn’t I?  Yes.  Yes, I did.  I even decided to offer some help to Jane in perhaps contacting the right person or people on the matter.

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
To: janef@malachymechanical.com
Cc: McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com; info@mcdonalds.com; ny.14518@us.stores.mcd.com; mcd.14518@us.stores.mcd.com
Sent: Thursday, May 3, 2012
Subject:
Re: W(aL)D Feedback [Sorry, I’m not McDonald’s.]

Hello Jane,

Unfortunately you’re mistaken, as you did not contact me earlier.  I am not McDonald’s.  I have simply blogged about McDonald’s & my interactions (or attempted interactions) with them.  For some odd reason, people keep landing on my website and contacting me, thinking that I am McDonald’s.  I assure you, I am not McDonald’s.  I don’t work for McDonald’s.  I don’t represent McDonald’s.  I can’t speak for McDonald’s.  I certainly can’t pay their bills.  I do sympathize with you though, as McDonald’s apparent ineptitude knows no bounds.  I am a blogger who makes light of their insanity with my own.  If you would like to follow my journey, please see the following blog posts.  They will help to prove & reinforce that I am not McDonald’s, and perhaps bring to light your own error in using my contact form instead of reaching out again to McDonald’s.

  • I AM NOT McDONALD’S – Like you, Harmony, Shirley, Amber, & Jeffrey mistook me for McDonald’s.  This post also links to my earlier correspondence with McDonald’s in case you are interested, as well as valid alternatives to actually contact McDonald’s instead of me, because I am not McDonald’s.
  • I’m still not McDonald’s. – I inform Harmony, Shirley, and Amber that I’m not McDonald’s.  Harmony remains unconvinced.  I unintentionally angered local McManager, Scott Kausky.
  • OK, maybe I am McDonald’s? – Harmony’s husband steps in to assure me that I am indeed McDonald’s, even though though I am clearly not.  Mr. Kausky calms down.  I create some graphics proving that I am indeed not McDonald’s, & I share a McAdventure.
  • s,pןɐuopɔɯ ʇou ɯɐ ı – Really.  I laid it all out one last time for Harmony & her McHusband.  They never responded after this.  Perhaps they finally got the message?  I disclose more McDonald’s contact options, as I am not McDonald’s and contacting me does nothing but further amusement for myself & my readers.
  • McConsistency is Key. – Apparently despite all the other blog posts, I’m still the place to go to complain about McDonald’s.

A bonus post, somewhat related:

A super-special extra bonus post:

  • I’m not Kmart. – While I’m not McDonald’s, I’m also not Kmart.  Perhaps McDonald’s customers & Kmart shoppers are the same demographic?

Perhaps you’re not interested in my blogs, but in exchange for you taking the time to read them I am prepared to help you in your plight for payment.  I have researched several ways for you to contact McDonald’s, none of which are the contact form located at my website.  Let us go through them together:

I hope that I have been able to provide some clarity, amusement, and even some actual help today (even though I am not McDonald’s).  Good luck in your quest, this is most certainly more annoying than the usual lack of ketchup packets or pattyless burger!  Have a nice day.

I am not McDonald’s,
-Eric Aixelsyd
World (and Lunar) Domination

Do you think she’ll write back?

Frymaster Fryer

Frymaster Fryer

Bronco Scores Again!


Well, I didn’t get Jalapeño Bites back at Arby’s yet, but I did answer a tweet from Radio Shack… and it got me a free T-shirt and some moral support for the cause!  Messing around on Twitter & insanity are well rewarded these days, I guess.

I DM’ed them and told them of me real name and my cause.  I think more companies are engaging people personally & directly with Twitter like this, and it’s a great thing.  Who doesn’t like free stuff?

Today the mailman delivered some goodies…

Bronco Jalapeño wins a Radio Shack T-shirt!

Free stuff!

The card s pretty cool too!

Eric, While this shirt can't replace Arby's jalapeño poppers, we hope it comforts you through your withdrawal. Thanks for tweeting at us and for being a fan. Tweet us a pic of your new duds when your shirt gets there. Thanks again! - Billy

@Bronco_Jalapeno #ThanksRadioShack...? Yes, yes he does.

Hilarious.  How fun is that?  I do need some soldering stuff, I guess it’s off to Radio Shack for the stuff next time I need it!  (I might get a couple of capacitors to mess around with.)

So, thanks to Radio Shack for being cool, for the laugh, & for the T-shirt!

Bronco Jalapeño Rides Again!


So my friends, Arby’s is true to their word.  They said they’d send me some Bronco Berry Sauce, and they sure did.  (By the way, Bronco Jalapeño is my thinly veiled alter ego in case you haven’t been following along.)

I walked into the house today and saw this rather large box on the couch where I normally sit.  My wife had arrived home a little while earlier, and brought it inside.  FedEx dropped it off on the front porch earlier in the day.

I saw my name, then the Arby’s logo, and I could hardly contain my excitement.

A case of Arby's Bronco Berry Sauce

...For me?

I mean, I thrive on the ridiculous, and this is most certainly ridiculous.  This couldn’t be a box full of Bronco Berry Sauce, could it?  Indeed, it could.  Absolutely ridiculous.  Personal supply?  I mean, I like to eat but…

240 Packs of Bronco Berry Sauce!

Yee-haw!

That is a whole lot of horses and berries!  Well, it would be… if Bronco Berry Sauce actually contained any broncos or berries.  The label on the box says that it’s 240 1.5 oz. containers of this decadently delightful dip.  It also contained this lovely letter…

Dear Mr. Carroll,   Your voice has been heard!  Believe me; no one takes sauces more seriously than Arby's. And, we know how a craving for our succulent Bronco Berry Sauce can send a person over the edge when they can't get their fix.   So, never fear. Arby's Bronco Berry Calvary has personally secured a box of the top-secret sauce just for you. Think of it as your own personal stash to satisfy that craving whenever and wherever it hits you.   Now, we know that your demands also included bringing back Jalapeno Bites to the Pittsburgh area. And, as you uncovered, restaurants in each market determine whether to serve the fiery goodness of Jalapeno Bites or the equally as delicious Loaded Potato Bites. While we cannot reverse the "Bites" decision at this time, we have shared your passion for the pungent peppers with the Marketing Team.   We hope that our small gesture has eased your pain and that you will reconsider your sauce sit-in.    Sincerely,  Hala Moddelmog President

Hala Moddelmog

Hala Moddelmog, President of Arby's

A letter from the President of Arby’s?  Hala Moddelmog rules.  I mean, I don’t see the presidents of McDonald’s, Wendy’s, or Pizza Hut responding to a crazy person on the internet with such individually directed kindness & generosity.

I’m obviously going to need help finishing this case.  It expires in June, so I highly doubt we can get through it all.  Want some Bronco Berry Sauce?  I’m willing to share what is now a rarity in our region.

I’m saddened by the news that Jalapeño Bites won’t be returning to Arby’s in Pittsburgh any time soon, but I do believe that my emails have actually been passed along.  I will pass on the Occupy Arby’s sauce sit-in.  But I still may write a song, even if no one helps me.

Perhaps the song will be the thing that puts our market managers and the marketing team over the edge.  I’ll have to write to my new friend Ms. Moddlemog, and see exactly where to direct my comments.

I almost want to build something out of them.  It looks like 1 or 2 popped (or was squeezed) open, but it’s an acceptable loss.  I mean, it was free.  We had some Bronco Berry Sauce tonight with a few Tyson chicken tenders for dinner in lieu of boring old bottle barbecue sauce.

Bronco Jalapeño’s appetite may be satisfied for now, but my quest is not over.  Arby’s in Pittsburgh, are you listening?  Bring back the Jalapeño bites!  This potato bite shenanigans is just that, shenanigans.

To follow the story from the start, check out these posts:

  1. Arby’s :: Bronco Berry Sauce®
  2. OCCUPY ARBY’S
  3. You may call me… “Bronco Jalapeño”
  4. Conflicting Information from Arby’s… (Help Bronco Jalapeño write a song!)