What’s it like to be a parent? (a.k.a. The Great Christmas Tree Shenanigans of 2019) 🎄


If you want to know what it’s like to be a parent, let me give you some insight.

Tonight we were putting up the Christmas tree. It is old & the top 3rd didn’t all completely light up last year. I did sort of attempt to fix the problem to no avail. Again this year with a replacement bulb to no avail.

Because the kids were excited, we continued to decorate. About 95% done, I remarked aloud (my mistake?) that we should get a new tree. So, everyone got out of their PJ’s into regular clothes and we ended up going to Home Depot. Excitement was off the charts.

At Home Depot, there were a bunch of great trees for all kinds of price ranges. All four of us finally settled on a tree that we liked. (It’s really cool… pre-lit, and can be all white or different colors!)

Looking for the tree on the shelf, of course they didn’t have one. Neither did any of the other local stores. We bought the floor model for a slight discount but the caveat was that there was no box.

The kids managed to bounce around the store with Christmas Spirit like Will Ferrell in Elf while sort of processing that this was the only tree if we wanted that tree.

Us purchasing the tree from the floor was apparently the most exciting thing we have ever done and we (well, half of us) danced to the checkout with 3 shopping carts in tow… the useless race car one because we can never not get it, and two regular orange carts, one with 2/3 of a tree and one with the remaining 1/3 & stand.

I had wanted to get a rubbermaid tote for it, but the ants in our pants had grown great in their numbers and were humming the chorus to “Ode to Joy.” We checked out and came home with the plan that we could continue the tree decoration process tomorrow.

So of course, once in the house, we promptly assembled & started to decorate the new tree while un-decorating the old tree. Oh the excitement was uncontainable!

Being that garbage collection was pushed back a day due to Thanksgiving, I wanted to put the old tree on the curb.

I told the kids to say goodbye to the old tree and Ian looked like I just told him we were going to skin and eat Butterscotch (our cat) after roasting her over an open flame. Once the crocodile tear rolled down his cheek, it set Molly into big sister sympathy tears mode.

We had talked before about getting a second tree for the dining room because it looks nice in that window from outside.

Guess who is going to try harder to fix that Christmas tree because he is a sucker for recently overjoyed and now crying children?

I’m glad they’re sensitive and sentimental, but wow.

…And Out Comes the Dookie.


...And Out Comes The Dookie

…And Out Comes The Dookie

It’s a new social media game.

Combine two albums you dig into one… just like some record executive or intern did once upon a time with Use Your Illusion I and Use Your Illusion II, combining the “best” tracks of each to make one pointless album.

I would suggest that you do two albums.  It can be different artists or the same.

If you want to be crazy try to keep the run time to a “real” album length.  I think Records hold 44 minutes of music and CD’s 74 or so?  About an hour would be good.

You can keep the artists separate like a split, or mix it all up.

Hell, you can combine 3 or more albums.  I am a fan of anarchy.  Just play.  Here in the comments, or online.  Use PicsArt or something similar to make an album cover if so inclined.

You can explain why you chose the tracks, or just let the mix speak for itself.

Just play.  Spread it.  Have fun.

We used to do stuff sort of like this on PittsburghBeat.com.

Here’s my fist offering; Rancid’s …And Out Come The Wolves mashed with Green Day’s Dookie;

01. Rancid “Maxwell Murder”
02. Green Day “Longview”
03. Rancid “Roots Radicals”
04. Green Day “Welcome to Paradise”
05. Rancid “Time Bomb”
06. Green Day “Pulling Teeth”
07. Rancid “Olympia WA.”
08. Green Day “Basket Case”
09. Rancid “Lock, Step & Gone”
10. Green Day “She”
11. Rancid “Ruby Soho”
12. Green Day “When I Come Around”
13. Rancid “Journey to the End of the East Bay”
14. Green Day “Emenius Sleepus”
15. Rancid “She’s Automatic”
16. Green Day “In the End”
17. Rancid “Old Friend”
18. Green Day “F.O.D.”
19. Rancid “As Wicked”
20. Green Day “All by Myself”

I sort of mixed up the tracks because why not? They do appear in album order.  The run time is just over 50 minutes. (Thanks Wikipedia & Google Sheets.)

Now, you do one.  Encourage others.  Show me what ya got.  I feel like I sort of did this once before already.

✠ Dear Mr. Iommi, ✠


You’ve no doubt heard that Black Sabbath just announced that they were going to record an album of new material & tour with the original lineup…

You’ve probably also heard the news about Tony Iommi being recently diagnosed with lymphoma.  The band told us not long ago via their website that you could send get well wishes to Tony via email at getwelltony@black-sabbath.com.

I did that.

From: me@myemail.addre.ss
To: “getwelltony@black-sabbath.com” <getwelltony@black-sabbath.com>
Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012
Subject: – ✠ \m/ ✠ –

Dear Mr. Iommi,

I’m sure you have a grasp of your influence in the musical world, and on guitar players everywhere.  We look to you for not only inspiration as far as the most devastating guitar riffs on the planet, but also as a musician who’s resolve soldiered his band triumphantly through many decades.  I have read countless stories of your humility & friendliness.  I have several members of my family & great friends who have triumphed over the odds with various forms of cancer.  I have no doubt that the prayers, thoughts, and general good vibes of millions of fans, friends, family, and your brothers from Black Sabbath will only serve to strengthen your own personal iron will to defeat this disease and come out a stronger man.

Your music helped me learn to play the guitar, and whenever any people get together to jam for the first time, inevitably someone starts playing a Sabbath song, then another, then another…  I owe you a great many good times, sir.  I will pray for your health, pray for strength for your family & friends, & pray for guidance to the medical team entrusted with your care so that you may continue to have many more good times yourself.

Sincerely,
-Eric
.seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI

This is the auto reply:

From: Tony Iommi
To: me@myemail.addre.ss
Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012
Subject: Thanks for the Get Well Email! Re: – ✠ \m/ ✠ –

A short automated note to let you know that your email for Tony Iommi has been received.

Due to the overwheming crush of outpouring for Tony since his announcement on Jan 9th, please note that your email cannot be individually replied to.

It will however be read, and both Tony, and those who represent him are grateful for your prayers and thoughts at this time.

— Joe Siegler
www.black-sabbath.com

Rock on, Mr. Iommi.  Rock on.

English: Tony Iommi of Heaven and Hell perform...

IRON MAN

Giant Eagle Market District | Educating Yinz Guys N’at


At the new Market District in Robinson, I laugh every time we go in the side door by the cafe & I see this sign:

PRETTY PLEASE! (with a cherry on top) USE MAIN ENTRANCE ←with a cart― NOT THE ROTATING DOOR

sign for the special sort of Yinzer...

In case you can’t read it (or see the photo), it says this:

PRETTY
PLEASE!
(with a cherry on top)
USE MAIN
ENTRANCE

withacart
NOT THE ROTATING
DOOR

Yeah.  Apparently people need to be told things like this.  It makes me want to try to squeeze a cart through the rotating door and see if anyone reprimands me.  They certainly don’t when you have more than the accepted quantity of items in the express line.  How far will they go to keep the customer happy?

I need a whole new level of participation.


OK, so in a recent McBlog, I made a call out to the readers to be creative and active, and make a chart depicting the levels of snacking as  mentioned in my SPAMvertisement from McDonald’s.

So far, Troy is the only one to reply.  While Troy’s submission is a valiant effort, I’d like to see more.

This is my second request, in which I will simultaneously be more stern in my request, and shamelessly plead for your participation. I know you’re out there reading.  I hear things.  I see traffic.  I get notes/comments on other sites.  I get comments here.  Let’s pull it all together here, shall we?

This is what I need: I’d like a chart, graph, illustration, photos of a diorama, cartoon, audio recording, video, whatever you want to create… depicting the “whole new level” of snacking noted in this letter.  Is it a top level?  A side level?  A hidden level?  A secret level?  A low level?  You can even use some of my past McDonald’s-related posts for inspiration.  Is the McGangBang on the map?  Does snack level have a correlation with restroom cleanliness?  Is the ketchup station a mess?  Does Heinz’s opinion count?

Be Our GuestHere’s what you get: Bragging rights.  Well, that, and one of my “Be Our Guest” Cards that entitles you to a free Mac Snack Wrap.  Why only one?  Well, because I already used one… and really, do you need more than one Mac Snack Wrap?  Plus, the letter suggested that I share one… so I am.  Also, it gives me a twisted sense of satisfaction knowing that McDonald’s is (albeit indirectly) sponsoring their own ridicule.

How do we decide who wins? Well, again, this depends on you… the readers.  I believe that I have the option to put up a poll… so once all submissions are in, the voting will go on for a week or so.

How it will go down: Let’s give it to Friday, Feb. 5th, 2010 to get submissions in to me.  We’ll vote the following week, closing & announcing a winner on Friday, Feb. 12th.  You’ll have your free Mac Snack Wrap just in time for Valentine’s Day… so you can show someone you love how cheap you are.  You can get submissions to me by leaving them in the comments here (if you’re ‘net-savvy) or you can email them to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com.

So, we’re all clear on this, right?