Are You Serving #Cookies or #Dookies? Click to not break your guests’ hearts.


Nothing kills holiday cheer faster than when someone offers you Christmas cookies; you gleefully accept and are presented with a tray covered in little jelly-filled things, lemon bars, and crap with nuts or coconuts all over it.

“Cookies” implies deliciousness, like chocolate chip, Hershey’s Kiss or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup cookies, peanut butter cookies (fork-pressed cross-hatches with no chunks of nuts), Rice Krispies treats (in any iteration including chocolate and peanut butter shenanigans), Christmas wreaths, or even lady-locks or lady-fingers (or whatever you call them).  I’ll even give you buckeyes.

“Cookies” does not include anything with jelly in the middle, anything with nuts on or in it, lemon squares, Fig Newtons, anything with coconut shavings or flavoring.  These are (in a term coined by my friend Saurav I believe) in fact “Dookies.”

Cookies vs. Dookies

Sugar cookies and shortbread are barely passable as cookies. (Sorry, Eat n’ Park.)

Pizelles can be tricky.  Some of them are delicious, and some taste like what I imagine licking the inside of a dumpster in August would be like.  If you use a spice called annis that sounds almost like anus, you get what you deserve.

Chocolate covered pretzels, Oreos, peanut butter crackers, etc. are acceptable.

Red licorice is OK, black licorice is not.

Thumbprints can be tricky too.  If they have chocolate icing, usually only the icing is edible.  The rest is tasteless powder formed into a cup of lies.

Do we need someone to make a flow chart?  Are you getting this?  Don’t ruin someone’s Christmas by offering cookies when you’re presenting dookies.

Please, sort it out in the comments.

Subway still sucks, so does IHOP, take your allergy-sniffing dog there with you…


Some good food allergy articles popping up lately, if you’re paying attention:

  • Allergies in the classroom: What’s OK to send in for snack time?  –  Some good tips.  Not sure if I’m 100% on-board with banning stuff in schools & classrooms.  I’d just promote safety a little more.
  • Subway expanding gluten-free test – Subway is still clueless.  They’re pushing the gluten free fad as far as they can with as little effort as possible, all while making a big deal about it & ignoring that other allergens exist.  (Read the comments.)
  • IHOP flops – IHOP owed by the same company that owns Crapplebees, also could not give a crap about your food allergies.  Try the new effortless lemon-zest dairy-free salad today! (Read the comments.)
  • $20,000 allergy-sniffing dog is a real lifesaver – Such a great idea!  Too bad it’s a $20K price tag.  I’d love to have a deathfish-detecting pooch.  I’d also train him to poop right outside of Subway restaurants.
  • Managing your food allergies in dining halls and dorm rooms – It’s back to school time.  Solid advice from a real expert.  I’m all about the buddy system.  Friends that look out for your best interest as far as not dying are friends for life.

So yeah, stuff’s happening.  I’m really just posting this to say… we’re out there.