If I owned a department store chain…


Every time I go to a Walmart, Target, Kmart, etc. I’m driven slightly mad. Sure, part of it is because of the stores themselves or the employees who seem to be rather uninterested in working… But most of the problem is the other shoppers. I was going to put a percentage on it, but I’m not sure I can. I think is a small percentage of idiots with a largely negative impact. Well, idiot just implies that they’re stupid. I think it’s more inconsiderate than stupid. I’m talking about people who are generally unaware of the needs, thoughts, and feelings of everyone around them. The best word that I can think of (even though I generally try to avoid being vulgar in print) is asshole. We all know what kind of person that describes. If I owned/ran a department store, I would try to prevent the behavior that goes with this type of personality.

Parking Lot

Parking Lot

Curbing unacceptable behavior would start in the parking lot (pun intended). One of my favorite blogs calls these people “Peter Parkers.”  They’re where the problem begins.  If your jackass behavior can’t make it through the parking lot, we’ll hope you don’t even bother to come in to the store.  Whether we’re talking about people driving & parking the wrong way in one way lanes, people who park over the lines, people who don’t slow down/stop at cross-walks, or people who park in handicapped spaces or on the line-covered spaces near the handicapped spaces.  That’s just the drivers…  Don’t forget that people need to learn how to walk to their car in a parking lot too.

Crossing Guard

Crossing Guard

To curtail all of this inconsiderate conduct we’d have meter maids, crossing guards, and cameras.  I guess the meter maids wouldn’t have meters to read, they’d just be parking enforcers.  Cars parked over painted lines, at curbs, or in handicapped spaces without proper tags will be towed.  Immediately.  I’m saying we’d go after them mere seconds after it happens, perhaps as their door is being shut.  The parking enforcers wouldn’t be like the people on that TV show where they argue.  They’d just do their job.  I’d have a tow truck or two on site at all times.  I have no tolerance for people who think that rules somehow don’t apply to themselves.  (I’m talking about inconsequential rules here like how to conduct yourself in society.  I think it’s always good to question authority & what not… but that doesn’t apply here where you’re just being a self-indulgent dolt.) 

People entering & exiting the store wouldn’t have the free reign to walk out into oncoming traffic.  Somehow (here in PA at least) people have taken “pedestrians have the right of way” to the extreme, where the actual law is that they have the right of way in crosswalks.  Everywhere else, you’re fair game.  A crossing-guard would facilitate safe passage and at the same prevent a traffic jam like you get in the front of every Walmart or Giant Eagle when an endless stream of lackadaisical shoppers lumber slowly in front of you without glancing in your direction as you sit in your auto waiting for a break in the action.  If the people who like to park wherever they please or run into oncoming traffic with faith in an imaginary no-fault law somehow don’t feel welcome in my department store, then good.  We’ve successfully weeded out the first wave of assholes.  If they have learned to conduct themselves in a respectful manner while spending time in my controlled outdoor environment, then let ’em in!

Amish parking, Cashton, 29 June 2012

Amish parking

(Oh yeah, bicycles would have their own parking lot… they’d share it with buggies & horses in Amish country, and buses would roll to the edge of the parking lot, not right to the front door causing endless amounts of chaos.)

Inside the store, we’d have checkout lines like the bank, Wendy’s, or Best Buy.  People can be incredibly ignorant when it comes to getting in line.  It’s certainly not everyone, but there are a select few who ruin it for everyone else.  See any McDonalds or Sheetz without the rope at lunch time.  It’s absolute chaos.

Queue Area

Queue Area

I know they’re not department stores… but it’s easier to see the same behavior there as it’s more concentrated.  It would eliminate getting into line behind the people who want to put things back, use expired coupons, write checks, talk on their phones, shop for everything in the impulse-buy section, or search for their method of payment long after everything is rung up.

In fact, no checks.  All it does is slow things down.  It’s 2012.  It’s almost 2013.  If you have a bank account, you have a debt card or credit card, some of them are even called check cards now.  Use it.  Don’t use that antiquated paper log-book that does nothing but slow things down for everyone.

No Checks Accepted

In my store, there would be no greeter that avoids eye contact completely or looks at you like you’re the grim reaper come to take them to hell.  Maybe there would be a robot there to say hello.  At least a robot could fake sincerity more efficiently.

Even though it doesn’t have to do with behavior exactly, the restrooms would have faucets in the sinks (with hot water) that you can fit your hands under, paper towels that are actually stocked regularly, hand dryers that actually dry your hands, and soap.  No foam soap, no hand sanitizer, no bathroom attendants to do it for you.  It might put people in a better mood if they can be comfortable.

I’m sure there are many other things I’d have to put in place, and many other bad customer behavior… but these are the ones I can think of now.

What would you do to make a trip to a department store more tolerable?  Would you enjoy it if stores weeded out the a-holes?  Are you one of the people who behaves like an a-hole by parking in the wrong spots, jumping to lines in front of people, and walking like an idiot in the parking lot?  Please, share your thoughts in the comments section below!

last minute shoppers.

last minute shoppers. (Photo credit: the idealist)

Leaving Early


I’ve noticed a trend of people leaving early at punk rock shows and at hockey games.  I’m sure it’s happening other places too. It’s glaringly obvious that as a society our attention spans are shortening while our focus hones in on our own satisfaction.  I guess I’ll have to give into the trend.

Here’s my list of more suggested places to leave early…

  1. When Dining Out – Order something you don’t like for dessert, then leave before it gets there because you don’t want it anyway.  Brave diners can also skip paying the bill.
  2. The Doctor’s Office – No clocks in the waiting room?  Making you routinely wait for an hour later than your scheduled appointment time, yet whining if you’re 10 minutes late?  Leave before the doctor gets there, you probably don’t want to hear the results anyway.
  3. The Movies – They’re all remakes any more anyway.  Haven’t you already seen this?  You know how it’s going to end.  Chances are you’re texting or even talking on your phone the whole time anyway.
  4. Church – Just getting in the door counts, right?  Leave before all that pesky sermon about morals and other nonsense… and get to the local diner/brunch buffet before everyone else!
  5. WorkEight hours?  That’s just crazy.

Have any more suggestions?

Dine & Dash!

What the hell is this?

Maze Solution! Peculiarly Perplexing Path


We have another maze solution!  This one is from Jennifer B, she said her son worked through the Peculiarly Perplexing Path in a half hour.  I hope the family is able to roll through some more of my mazes, and glad you’re having fun with this one!

From: Jennifer B.
Date: Sat, Mar 3, 2012 at 9:06 PM
Subject: I DID IT! The Peculiarly Perplexing Path – Maze Solution
To: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

Hey there,

I couldn’t resist sharing your latest maze with my kids. They love a challenge! Here is my 11 year old’s solution.
JenniferB

Check it out…

Cool!  Jennifer’s kid rocks! Thanks for taking the time to solve it & for taking the time to send it in!

As always, if you try any of my mazes, send a scan or photo of the solution to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com!

Peculiarly Perplexing Path [Maze]


Have no fear!  I’ve only slowed down with the mazes, I haven’t stopped.  I’m waiting for some of you to catch up with me. That’s right, I need more solutions!

I used smaller paper with this one, so I don’t think it’s as large/complicated as the last few.

If you’ve attempted & completed a solution, send a photo or scan to me at world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com, or post a link to it in the comments here.

Peculiarly Perplexing Path [Maze]

Peculiarly Perplexing Path (Maze)

Are you spamminators? Are you real? Have you clicked “like” or followed my blog?


Well, I’ve been blogging for a while now, and I enjoy the “stats” quite a bit.  (I love the search terms that lead people here.)  Lately I’ve been seeing the number of reads, likes, and followers go up… but the comments are staying about the same.  I also wonder if the people following & clicking the “★ Like” button actually like my posts, or if they’re just web-bots, or looking for links back to their own blog.

English: The logo of the blogging software Wor...

WordPress

I do a lot of my following with Google Reader, not on WordPressGoogle seems to do a better job of handling non-WordPress blogs in with the WordPress blogs.  The only problem is that my +1‘s or ‘s or probably don’t get back to WordPress authors (or other blog authors) as likes.

Image representing Google Reader as depicted i...

Google Reader

Have you recently followed me?

Have you recently “liked” one of my posts?

Leave a comment and let me know why you liked the post or why you followed my blog.  How did you find me?  Tell me something about yourself.  I’d really appreciate the feedback!  Not that I don’t already appreciate the likes & the follows… but it may even help me post more content that people actually enjoy.

Approach Arc Alter [Maze]


BIC® 4-Color™ Retractable Ballpoint Pen

I did this one with a ball point pen.  Well, not just any ball point pen… I used one of those cool Bic 4 color pens.  I don’t think I’ll be drawing any more mazes with that pen.  I’ll stick with the fine Sharpie pen that I was using for the other mazes, or some other higher-quality non-smearing fast-drying consistent pen.

This one’s called Approach Arc Alter because it seems like an A sort of day.  So why not use a few?  Some solutions have come in.  Do you have what it takes to finish this one?  If you do, post a link to your solution here in the comments, or email me a photo or scan: world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com

Approach Arc Alter

Good luck!

Bewildering Byway [Maze]


Welcome to the Bewildering Byway.  Care to try to solve this one (or any of my other mazes)A few have stepped up to the plate.  Are you up to the task?  If you are, I urge you to post a solution in the comments below.  You can link to a photo or a scan.  If you’re unsure how to do that, you can email the solution to me at world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com.

Bewildering Byway [Maze]

Bewildering Byway

Twist and Shout [Maze]


I call this one “Twist and Shout” for no apparent reason.  I’m hoping I don’t run out of creative names, as I don’t feel that I’m running out of mazes any time soon.  Are you one of the brave & the bold that have tried a solution?  If not, I suggest you try.  I hear it’s fun & relaxing.

Once you’ve solved it, send me a photo or scan, or post a link to one in the comments.  How do you send me a solution, you ask?  It’s simple.  You send it via email at world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com.

Twist and Shout [Maze]

Twist and Shout

The End is the Beginning is the End [Maze]


This one starts & stops in the same place.  None of my other mazes (so far) have done that.  I decided to call it “The End is the Beginning is the End”.  That’s a Smashing Pumpkins song from Batman & Robin.

As usual, if you’re adventurous enough to print & solve the maze, please post a link to your solution in the comments, or email it to me at world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com and I can do the posting for you.  I’ve had solutions come in from two different challengers so far, perhaps they’ll try again or there are others out there willing to join their ranks.

Click the pic for the larger resolution one…

The End is the Beginning is the End [Maze]

The End is the Beginning is the End

Maybe you can listen to this while you solve the maze…

It might take a few repeats.  You could try this one too…

Furcate Estate [Maze]


Have you seen the other mazes?  I’ve drawn a few before.  No one has sent a solution to any of them yet, although I have some claims that some have been solved.  If you dare, print it, solve it, and send me the solution.  You can leave it (or a link to it) in the comments section.  If you’re lost on how to accomplish that… simply email a photo, cell phone photo, or a scan of it to me at world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com and I’ll take care of posting it for you.  I may have to issue some sort of challenge or think of some kind of prize(s).  What kind of reward would you suggest?

Furcate Estate [Maze]

Furcate Estate