P is for Potato. 🥔


This is mainly a re-post/revision of a Facebook status.  I’m still in awe, even a few days later.

You probably read about it, saw it, or heard it in WTAE, WPXI, or KDKA.  You may have even seen it somewhere else.  This woman (in a feat worthy of “Florida Man”) walked into a Walmart to relieve herself.  The problem with that is that she did it not only in the produce section, but on some producePotatoes.  I personally like my potatoes mashed, not micturated.

I have so many thoughts about this.

The BEST part is that Walmart had to release a statement assuring that they threw out the produce and disinfected the area. I mean, silly of me to assume that would be the case.

I have seen some Walmart bathrooms, and I may have supported this choice in this instance. They also close for “cleaning” often.

She doesn’t remember doing it? How did she find out? Did she see herself on Facebook? Did someone call and tell her? There needs to be a TV show that reenacts such shenanigans.  (Sounds like she saw herself on TV.  Imagine going to get a haircut, then calling the lawyer, then going to the police.  Or maybe the lawyer prompted the haircut?)

How do you overcome “stagefright?” I like to pee alone, not in public.

I want a T-shirt with her picture in the middle of the Walmart star logo with the caption “I put the P in potato!”

We put the P in potato!

Grace Under (Bladder) Pressure

I hope she didn’t drive to or from the Walmart.

I have been drunk, but never blackout drunk.  I’m in awe.  I wonder if in 2019 she can turn this into becoming a social media celebrity?

I hope she gets whatever ind of help she needs, and I hope no one bought the pee-tatoes unknowingly.  Although, they may grow in poop… So, there is that.  I would definitely advise her to have a trusted friend or handler with her at all times while drinking.  I can’t imagine having to deal with the aftermath.

I remember posting a video on the now-defunct PittsburghBeat.com one time about this naked dude who while high on PCP after running from a stripper’s house ran across the divided highway on Banksville Road and ended up being tasered (again, while naked) by police and taken to the extremely cold ground in the snow.  Months or years later, the guy sent an email asking for it to be taken down so he could move on with life.  It mentioned but didn’t really threaten legal action.  After all, it was a news story I dunno how you  could “scrub” it.  But, I can see the whole thing not boding well if a prospective employer were to Google you before hiring.

She may be a queen on People of Walmart.

This reminded me of an R. Kelly meme, and a song:

Walmart✻ saving Potatoes from Grace Brown

The only other song I remember about pee is an AiXeLsyD one, and I can’t shamelessly self promote something that is probably less embarrassing that peeing on potatoes in Walmart, can they?

Here are potatoes from my garden this year, no one has peed on them:

In parting, I call for your comments.  Please share your favorite potato recipes (like this or this), your favorite drinking stories, or your favorite pee/Grace Brown/Walmart/Potatoes jokes.

…And Out Comes the Dookie.


...And Out Comes The Dookie

…And Out Comes The Dookie

It’s a new social media game.

Combine two albums you dig into one… just like some record executive or intern did once upon a time with Use Your Illusion I and Use Your Illusion II, combining the “best” tracks of each to make one pointless album.

I would suggest that you do two albums.  It can be different artists or the same.

If you want to be crazy try to keep the run time to a “real” album length.  I think Records hold 44 minutes of music and CD’s 74 or so?  About an hour would be good.

You can keep the artists separate like a split, or mix it all up.

Hell, you can combine 3 or more albums.  I am a fan of anarchy.  Just play.  Here in the comments, or online.  Use PicsArt or something similar to make an album cover if so inclined.

You can explain why you chose the tracks, or just let the mix speak for itself.

Just play.  Spread it.  Have fun.

We used to do stuff sort of like this on PittsburghBeat.com.

Here’s my fist offering; Rancid’s …And Out Come The Wolves mashed with Green Day’s Dookie;

01. Rancid “Maxwell Murder”
02. Green Day “Longview”
03. Rancid “Roots Radicals”
04. Green Day “Welcome to Paradise”
05. Rancid “Time Bomb”
06. Green Day “Pulling Teeth”
07. Rancid “Olympia WA.”
08. Green Day “Basket Case”
09. Rancid “Lock, Step & Gone”
10. Green Day “She”
11. Rancid “Ruby Soho”
12. Green Day “When I Come Around”
13. Rancid “Journey to the End of the East Bay”
14. Green Day “Emenius Sleepus”
15. Rancid “She’s Automatic”
16. Green Day “In the End”
17. Rancid “Old Friend”
18. Green Day “F.O.D.”
19. Rancid “As Wicked”
20. Green Day “All by Myself”

I sort of mixed up the tracks because why not? They do appear in album order.  The run time is just over 50 minutes. (Thanks Wikipedia & Google Sheets.)

Now, you do one.  Encourage others.  Show me what ya got.  I feel like I sort of did this once before already.

Cancer Benefit Show


Cancer

Image by GDS Infographics via Flickr

Borrowed this from the Ernie and the Berts blog…

⚕☣☤☣⚕ Attention Kids Under 21 and People Who Hate Cancer:

We have a show coming up that you ought to make an extra effort to attend.  We don’t do many all ages gigs, so this may be your only chance for a while.

This formerly had a slightly more impolite name, but it has been toned down a little bit:  P!$$ ON CANCER: A Musical Collaboration to fight for a friend’s life!

A friend of Bert’s has set up the show, and it looks to be (the good kind of) chaos.  Disgust in Disguise are a bunch of cool cats and it looks like there’s a really diverse set of musical genres happening, as well as a silent auction and some food & drink specials.

We’re asking you to come out, support a good cause, listen to some music, eat, drink, & be merry.  Please don’t literally pee on anything or anyone.  (This means you, Brad.)

Here are the details in case you missed ‘em!

When your body is your enemy, how would you choose to fight?

Join us as we take a stand against a friend’s cancer.
Help us fight his silent war.
March with us, beside him, as we tell his cancer to F@#! off!
He’s ours. We’re not done with him, yet!

The Bands:

  • 12:00 AM | Voices and Vessels | FB / RN / My_ / @t | (Metal / Post-Hardcore)
  • 11:00 PM | Disgust in Disguise | FB / RN / My_ / @t | (Metal / Hardcore / Punkrock)
  • 10:00 PM | Ernie and the Berts | FB / RN / My_ / @t | (Rock / Pop / Punk)
  • 09:00 PM | Lyndsey Smith | FB / RN / My_ / @t | (R&B/Soul / Funk / Pop)
  • 08:00 PM | Midnight Rose | FB / RN / My_/ @t | (???)
  • 07:00 PM | The Ele[mental] | FB / RN / My_ / @t | (Rock / Alternative / Indie Rock)
  • 06:00 PM | The Long Knives | FB / RN / My_ / @t | (Indie / Psychiatric / Distofuzzadelic)

The Place:

The Details:

If anyone has any more details, links that I missed, or a flyer, please let us know in the comments!

Sat. Feb. 5th at Excuses with the Hang Lows! (via Ernie and the Berts)


Feb. 5th at Excuses… you really ought to come out to this one. The Hang Lows are cool dudes, and ska bands are always a great time!

Sat. Feb. 5th at Excuses with the Hang Lows! So, we've got a new sort-of last minute kind of gig.  Details just got pulled together, but they're all below.  Keep in mind that this is an early one… it starts at 8:00pm and will most likely actually be an 8:00 start with us on first, and the Hang Lows hitting the stage around 9:00pm.  We hope to see you there! The Bands: The Hang Lows – Facebook / MySpace / Reverb Nation / Twitter Ernie and the Berts – Facebook / Reverb Nation / MySpace / Tw … Read More

via Ernie and the Berts

Ernie and the Berts – FREE SHOW! 12/30/2010 @ Howler’s Coyote Cafe!


I’ll update all the information on this show at this thread on PittsburghBeat.com as any new details happen.

There may also be some new links since the last time you checked the Yahoo! group page, like some audio/video goodies, and of course the link to the official “Toybox” video on YouTube, brought to life by our pals Jason & Terry… with recording help from Brendan of Summer Lungs.

On to the show details…

The Bands:

The Place:

The Details:

  • 21+
  • 8:00pm
  • $$$ FREE SHOW! $$$
  • Thursday, Dec. 30th, 2010

Looks like Ag Ag Lady made a flier…

The Millennium Falcon Guitar


While doing a Google image search for Star Wars Guitar, I came across several photos of this…

Millennium Falcon Guitar | Travis Stevens
Millennium Falcon Guitar | Travis StevensMillennium Falcon Guitar | Travis StevensMillennium Falcon Guitar | Travis StevensMillennium Falcon Guitar | Travis StevensMillennium Falcon Guitar | Travis Stevens

Now, that’s a hell of a guitar.  It’s made from guitar parts (obviously) and an old toy Millennium Falcon.  It’s even got Han & Chewie action figures inside.  How insane is that?  Despite the plastic-laden sound that it gives off (you can hear it in the video below), I’d love to have something like this, just for the sheer oddity and geekiness.  Can you imagine rolling up to a show, and pulling that out of a case on stage?  People wouldn’t know what to think.  (Unless you were in the Phenomenauts and they’d already seen your van.)

Urlesque has a cool initial interview and a nice follow-up about the guitar and the process that Stevens used to put it all together.  Oddity Central has a good article too.  I’d love to see how much this goes for when it sells.  Sadly, probably more than I can afford to drop on a guitar right now… but maybe I’ll hit up some toy shows & build my own.  Ha ha.

Guitars & Rock N’ Roll


I like guitars.  I blog about a bunch of stuff, but I can’t believe I neglected adding a guitar category before now.  Perhaps because I’m back to rocking out again, I’ve been more aware of guitars and music in general.

I have always loved music from an early age, and the guitar has always been my favorite instrument.  Of course I wanted to learn how to play.  I took a class in school because I needed 2 music electives one year.  We did the Mel Bay “Marry Had a Little Lamb” crap and I skimmed through only sort-of learning to read music while I bought guitar magazines and learned my favorite riffs by tab at home or from the kids in the guitar class who already knew how to play & were taking it for an easy A.

I was also learning at church camp… the minister in charge used to play campfire standards & hymns for the sing-alongs, and taught me how to play chords to a whole song instead of the riffs that I was used to half-assedly piecing together.  I think through this is where I first felt comfortable singing & playing at the same time.  I remember that being a huge obstacle at one point, but now it almost seems ridiculous.

I took lessons at a music store for a while, and it was cool… but basically I learned 1 scale and how to play by ear.  It wasn’t very structured, and I wasn’t a great student.  I just wanted to rock… not learn.

Around the same time, I re-discovered punk rock.  I had always been a fan of pop rock, punk rock, metal, & more… but when I learned that I could pop in the Misfits or Ramones and play along to the whole record, something just clicked.  I fell into a three-chord way of life… and discovered that I didn’t need to be a great guitar player.  Sure, there’s always room to improve, but I’m not trying to be Yngwie Malmsteen or Jimi Hendrix or anything.

With the punk re-awakening that I had, I wanted to write songs and be in a band.  Playing the guitar was the means to that end.  Luckily this was happening at the same time for me as some other good friends & eventually AiXeLsyD was born.  I’ve played on & off in a handful of bands & projects since then and been part of a few different scenes.  I’m very thankful for being introduced all the people that I’ve met through those endeavors.  There’s a weird bond with other people in bands that you just don’t get if you’re not part of the whole thing.  It’s like a weird brotherhood or religion or secret club… even within that I guess there are still more than a few who still don’t get it once they’re in it, but that’s a whole other blog.

This went a different direction than I intended, but you’ll have that.  Maybe I’ll blog more about the band experience… I’ve had a few standard rants about bands over the years that I’ll have to rehash here.

My original intent was just to say that I was going to start blogging about guitars.  I love guitars.  I like to play all kinds, I’d love to own them all.  I like normal guitars, but I gravitate toward the weird ones.  I’ll blog about all of them here.  Hopefully it’ll spark some discussions, awe, and ire.

LIES ABOUT POTATO CHIPS


Today, I checked out a link on the Yahoo! site because it was simply titled “The Best Potato Chips“.  Well, I like potato chips… so I had to see what was up.  Well, the first annoying thing was that it said that there’s a list of 21 chips… but there are only 7 listen on the page… then the “Continue Reading…” link takes you to a slide show.  I hate slide show lists.  I want to see it all, right there in front of me, right away.  This isn’t a meeting, I don’t need a power point presentation.  These aren’t your vacation photos, I don’t need a slide show.

Turner Dairy | Chip DipThey did manage to recognize the awesome that is plain old ordinary Ruffles.  When I want to eat Turner’s chip dip, this is the chip that I must have.  Just ask anyone who works at the Rite Aid by my house.  I’m always there buying ruffles & Turner’s dip.  Really.  Just ask them…  “Is there a weird guy in here with crazy sideburns buying Turner’s Dip and Ruffles all the time?”  They’ll totally, be like “Yeah!”  I’m telling you.

As for the rest of this list though, it’s a lie.  Don’t believe it.  If the list had any credibility beyond being able to recognize the top of the line “ordinary” chip, it would have included Beer Chips or Snyder (of Berlin) Honey BBQ Chips.  There is just no excuse for these glaring omissions.  Shame on you, Shine From Yahoo!.  Shame on you.

BEER CHIPSI’ve written of Beer Chips before, here in my blog and at PittsburghBeat.com.  Why?  Because they’re awesome.  They’re next to impossible to put down.  I’m sure I could eat an entire bag without thinking about it, and probably have.  If we break them out when people are over, the bag disappears.  Kudos to the Beer Chips people on distribution, as I’ve seen them in places from Giant Eagle and Market District to Aldi.  You may have guessed that Beer Chips are chips somehow cooked with beer.  If you haven’t guessed this, then just stop reading, as all of this will be most likely lost on you anyway.  They’re sweet, they’re salty, and they do have a hint of a beer taste… but it’s ever so slight.  Of course, they also go great with a nice bottle of Yuengling, Straub, or Penn Pilsner in my experience.  Just writing this, I may have to stop at the store to get these next time I’m out.  They are that powerful.  I mean, I have beer in the ‘fridge, but how can I enjoy it now without Beer Chips?  I can’t.  That’s how.

Snyder of Berlin | Honey BBQ ChipsOn to the Snyder of Berlin Honey Bar-B-Q Potato Chips.  First off, I love honey BBQ in general.  Gooski’s Honey BBQ wings are one of my favorite foods ever.  You just  generally can’t go wrong with Honey BBQ.  I think my first experience with these was at camp.  They were out as a snack one night and I think I ate most of the bag.  I couldn’t stop.  Again, these have that incredible sweet/salty combination that is a win every time.  I know you can generally get them at most Sheetz locations, but it’s hit or miss if they’re there in Giant Eagle or wherever I happen to be grocery shopping.  If I see them, I just unconsciously grab them and only realize they’re in my hand or the grocery cart when I go to check out.  Now, one must beware of the Herr’s and Wise imitations.  Well, I don’t know who was really first… but for my own personal tastes, Snyder of Berlin is the standard Honey BBQ chip to which all others ought to be measured.  Actually, the Herr’s is an acceptable substitute if necessary, but the Wise ones are just inferior chips altogether.

Speaking of imitations, one of these days I need to get down to the Snyder of Berlin vs. Snyder’s of Hanover thing.  (There’s even a creepy Facebook group about the rift…) They each have that ominous and almost vindictive disclaimer on their packaging that they’re not associated with the other. Too weird.

Herr's | Ketchup ChipsThere are, of course, a few others worth mentioning…  Herr’s makes some bad-ass Ketchup flavored chips, some Salt & Pepper ones, and a bunch of other cool/weird flavors.  Utz makes a bunch of flavors and are quite decent chips.  (Is it “uhtz” or “ootz”?) Although, I see a “crab” flavor, and that scares me a little.  I may have to write to them about that.  Snyder of Berlin also has a ton of interesting varieties, another of my favorites being the kettle-cooked Sea Salt & Cracked Pepper chips.

You may thank me that you’re now more informed on the subject of the best potato chips than the average Shine From Yahoo! reader.  I’d be interested to see if you agree with me or if you’re just wrong.  Please feel free to talk about your favorites in the comments section!

Ernie and the Berts


So, I’m in a band again.  We’ve only been jamming for a short while now, but the chaos is already well underway.  We decided to play an open stage night before we were ready, just because we could.  I dig this momentum/vibe.  Plus, I got to break out the FlipOut guitar for its first show!  I didn’t realize how much I miss gigging out.  It’s addictive.

As far as a style, it’s still taking shape… but right now it’s stripped down punk/rock/pop, and it’s sloppy.  We’ll have some covers, some originals, whatever we feel like as time goes on, I guess.  Most importantly, we’re having fun.  If you’ve seen a handful of local ‘Burgh bands in the past 10 years, chances are you’ll recognize all the players here.

For more about E&tB in the future, keep watching…

To see what you missed, here’s almost our entire 3-song set thanks to Bethany.  Watch your speakers… her camera didn’t like our volume, I guess.

Ernie and the Berts “Suffragette City” (Live) Mon. June 28th, 2010 @ the Thunderbird Cafe

URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHX_H9bg4uA

Ernie and the Berts “Radio, Radio”/”Hot N Cold” (Live) Mon. June 28th, 2010 @ the Thunderbird Cafe

URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzbwYG0Sa0I

And, there are a few photos (thanks again to Bethany)…

Ernie and the Berts @ the Thunderbird Cafe - Mon. June 28th, 2010 - Lawrenceville (Pittsburgh), PA

Ernie and the Berts @ the Thunderbird Cafe - Mon. June 28th, 2010 - Lawrenceville (Pittsburgh), PA

I also have to say that I also learned that the Thunderbird Cafe in Lawrenceville is awesome.  It’s a great room, it has a menu devoid of shellfish, and the crowd was a nice mellow mix form all walks of life.  While I’m at it, host band Craig King & CBG Connection were awesome dudes.  They were very welcoming, and they rocked the place out with some funk/blues/rock/jazz insanity.

If for some reason you want both videos, you can get a zip of both of them in mp4 format here:  http://drop.io/EatB_06282010_TBC

Sorry Baz…


Heh.  So I tweeted (to? at?) Sebastian Bach about his absence from the Slash album.  I had wondered about it in my review because I could swear that I’d read something indicating that Baz was going to have a guest spot.

All I said was this:

@sebastianbach I thought you were going to be on the @Slash album…? What happened?

The reply seemed a little angry:

@AiXeLsyD13 never said that ever

Seeing that my initial question could be read with a snotty inflection, I tried to quickly follow up with this:

@sebastianbach It was implied though, wasn’t it? Ha ha… or is something else in the works?

…and this:

@sebastianbach At any rate, I’d love to see a Slash/Baz effort somewhere someday.

Heh.  I didn’t want to come off as insulting, just really wanted to know what happened.  It was one of the things going into the album that I had been looking forward to.

I did some Googling, and I found this though…

From NME:

Sebastian Bach has revealed that Velvet Revolver guitarist Slash has contacted him about working on a ‘top secret project’ together.

The ex-Skid Row frontman denied rumours he’ll be taking Scott Weiland‘s place as the singer of Velvet Revolver, saying it would be “awkward” given his friendship with Slash‘s former Guns N’ Roses bandmate Axl Rose, who is no longer on good terms with the guitarist.

Bach told Billboard he’s been sworn to secrecy about the new project, but said it was “mind-blowing”.

From Billboard:

But he did confirm that VR guitarist Slash did contact him “out of the blue … to talk to me about working together, but it was not Velvet Revolver. It was a completely different project, and I can’t tell you what it is ’cause it’s mind-blowing, but I’ve been sworn to secrecy on that. But nothing’s happening right now with me and him.”

From A.V. Club:

In a typically breathless announcement, former Skid Row singer Sebastian Bach says guitarist Slash has contacted him “out of the blue” about a “top-secret job”–though despite rumors and all logic to the contrary, it was not to invite him to replace Scott Weiland as the frontman for Velvet Revolver. Such a move would be “awkward,” Bach says, considering his friendship with Slash’s estranged former partner Axl Rose. (Though, uh, apparently there’s a loophole that still allows him to be a part of whatever this mystery project is.) Practically begging you to care, Bach was not particularly forthcoming with details, saying only that he was “sworn to secrecy,” but did insist that, whatever it is, it’s “mind-blowing.”

And, even Slash’s Wikipedia page

Slash was quoted saying that the work alone in the studio on the solo album was “cathartic”, and that he really enjoyed working alone in the studio. He also said he plans to bring a different singer for each song on the album, and that he has a list of guests to appear on the album, and most of them are already committed, though he refused to tell who are those guests. Rumored singers for the project include Lenny Kravitz, Sebastian Bach, Alice Cooper, Vince Neil, and past Guns N’ Roses bandmates Izzy Stradlin and Duff McKagan.[22] According to Slash’s wife during an interview with Rockerrazzi.com, both Ozzy Osbourne and Fergie will make appearances on Slash’s upcoming solo album, saying, “It’s going to be Slash and friends, with everyone from Ozzy [Osbourne] to Fergie.”[23] Other musicians set to appear on the release include Josh Freese, Chris Chaney, Travis Barker, M. Shadows and Jason Bonham.[24]

I guess a lot of those names from the “rumored” list didn’t make the cut, or were just that — rumors from the start.  At least now I have validation that I didn’t dream the idea.  I mean, news came out that they would work together outside of a Velvet Revolver context, and soon after Slash started talking more heavily about his solo album…  What other conclusions are we to draw?

There is the possibility that it fell through due to scheduling, not having a great song lined up, or some ominous Axl-related conspiracy.

Maybe he was slated to tour with Slash’s in support of the disc instead of Myles Kennedy?

Or, there is the possibility that the rumored project is much more “mind blowing” than just a solo album and yet to happen. Perhaps it’s a concert?  Video?  Movie?  Super-group?  Book?  Collaboration?  Reality show?  Documentary?  Bach being instrumental in reuniting Axl, Slash, & the rest of GN’R?

Who knows?

At any rate, I didn’t mean to insult you, Mr. Bach.  I just wanted to know what was up.  I enjoy following you on Twitter, and I really dug Angel Down.  I also think that it’s awesome that you take the time to interact with & reply to fans, obviously being a rock n’ roll fanboy at heart yourself.