I’m on a few super gear-nerdy and G.A.S.-educing groups on Facebook. To the Awesome Cheap Guitars group, I recently posed this question:
So,what awesome cheap guitar moves have you pulled on stage? I’m a horrible guitar player, but I can wow a crowd with some flash, flair, and goofy-looking guitars. I’m guilty of the checked following…
☑ Playing behind the head.
☑ Playing while squatting with guitar in between knees, reaching arm through legs from behind.
☑ Playing while falling/laying down.
☑ Dropping-trou and continuing to play.
☑ Playing on knees bending back until head almost touches the ground.
☑ Sad 80’s dance move with shuffling feet while playing.
☑ Playing on chairs.
☑ Playing on tables.
☐ Playing on the bar.
☑ Walking outside & in another door if possible with a wireless.
☑ Sitting in a seat with a wireless.
☑ The Chuck Berry/Angus Young walk.
☑ Switching instruments mid song.
☐ Using a beer bottle as a slide.
☑ Using a mic stand as a slide.
☐ Blowing bubblegum bubbles. (Like Doyle.)
☑ Drinking mid song.
☑ Injuring a band mate by accident. (I chipped the lead-singer/bass player’s tooth.)
☐ Injuring a band mate on purpose.
☑ Improvising a mic stand out of duct tape, a hockey stick, & gatorade bottles. (Hey, we were playing at a dek-hockey rink.)
☐ Playing on someone’s shoulders.
☐ Playing while someone is on your shoulders.
☑ Playing from behind a wooden bear statue with the guitar on the front of the bear.
☐ Putting a lit cigarette under the strings in the headstock.
☐ The amp-hump. (Like Jimi.)
☑ The guitar-as-a-phallic-symbol air-hump. (Like Rex from the Lone Rangers in Airheads.)
☐ The guitar toss – Badass edition. (Like Prince – also, check out the falling into the crowd move!!!)
☐ The guitar toss – Oops edition. (Like Prince with the borrowed Epiphone or Krist Novoselic on MTV.)
☐ The guitar toss – Someone else catches & starts playing.
☐ Smoke-bombs. (Like Ace Frehley.)
☐ Set Fire to the guitar. (Like Jimi.)
☐ The windmill. (Like Pete.)
☑ The powerslide.
☑ The failed powerslide.
☐ Swinging from the rafters. (Hard to do while actually playing? This dude did it.)
☐ The “‘round the world” spin.
☐ The failed “round the world” spin.
☑ Yelling out a second story window mid-set for people to come into the bar.
☐ The “nyah-nyah you can’t see me” EVH turn-around.
☐ The flying karate kick.
☑ On the knees.
☐ On top of a piano. (Like Slash.)
☑ Dancing with the crowd.
☑ Duel of the Fates – using another musician’s fretboard as a slide.
☑ The salute – All in the air.
☑ The Poison-ish choreographed lean.
☑ Lean on a bandmate.
☑ Lean into a bandmate.
I know there are more. I know photos & videos exist of some of these with me. I know this post can get goofy. Please, I implore you to share your moves, including videos, animated gifs, and photos in the comments! This kind of stuff is hilariously entertaining to me.
What’s your favorite to do? What’s your favorite to watch? What have you copied? What have you invented? What did I miss on this list? Share your stories and images and favorite stuff from your favorite performers!
Now, for the self-indulgence:
Attention, bear-f__ker, do you require assistance?
The Choreographed Lean
Listen to that sustain
The other choreographed lean
Like a turtle
Duel of the fates
Behind the dome.
Three Axe Salute
Behind the Dome (Again)
Sweep the leg.
Lean back ’til you can’t no mo’
Push n’ shove
Through the legs!
Dance with the crowd!
The campfire solo
On yo’ knees.
Wireless Table Dance
Lean on me
Under the nuts.
Posted in Disbanded Bands, Funny Stuff, Guitars, I Need Your Feedback, Life, Your Band, \m/
Tagged Ace Frehley, Airheads, AiXeLsyD, AiXeLsyD13, Angus Young, Awesome Cheap Guitars, ☘, Chuck Berry, comment, dancing, Degenerated, Doyle, Doyle Wolfgang von Frankenstein, 🎸, Eddie Van Halen, Epiphone, ERiC AiXeLsyD, Eric Clapton, Ernie and the Berts, EVH, facebook, feedback, G.A.S., Gasoline Dion, Gel Eyeliner, guitar, Guitar Acrobatics, Guitar Moves, Guitar Spin, Guitar Toss, guitarist, Guitarobatics, guitars, Guns N' Roses, Interaction, KISS, Lit Cigarette, Lone Rangers, Misfits, Pete Townshend, Poison, post, Prince, punk rock, Rex, ridiculous, ridiculousness, Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, share, shenanigans, show-off, showboating, showmanship, showoff, Slash, Stage Moves, staged moves, Steve Buscemi, Table Dance, The Eyeliners, The Lone Rangers, The Misfits, Ugly Guitars, Van Halen, wireless
You read my post about Ammaria Johnson, right? Well, here’s another excellent blog that you need to check out on the subject:
Why? Because it’s important to hit this message hard, and repeat it until everyone’s sick & tired of hearing it.
A small excerpt:
Failure to give Benadryl, no Epi-pen on hand and the outrageous decision to call a parent instead of 911 when a child’s airway is closing? I don’t even have words for this school’s heinous behavior. What part of “life threatening medical condition” did they not understand? These people shouldn’t be entrusted with the care of a gerbil, let alone a child’s life.
And what kind of self-serving, we’re-not-responsible-for-the-death-of-the-child-in-our-care, preparing-for-a-lawsuit garbage was the school district trying to serve up with its statement
that this girl died of a “pre-existing medical condition”? Here’s the county’s own guidelines
for managing food allergies which the school failed to follow. (Thanks to @IknowTiffany
for the link.)
Couldn’t agree more.
Posted in Allergies, Consumer Advocacy, Good Websites, Life, Other Blogs, Rants in my pants
Tagged 1st, 1st Grade, 7years old, Allergies, Allergy, allergy action plan, Ammaria, Ammaria Johnson, anaphylactic reaction, anaphylactic shock, Anaphylaxis, Benadryl, Blog, cardiac arrest, child, CJW Medical Center, Conditions and Diseases, death, emergency, Epi Pen, Epinepherine, Epinephrine autoinjector, EpiPen, First, first grade student, Food, food allergies, Food Allergy, Health, Hopkins Elementary, Hopkins Elementary school, Johnson, Katelyn Carlson, Laura Pendleton, peanut, Peanut Allergy, Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, peanut product, post, reblog, repost, Richmond, Richmond Virginia, Sabrina’s Law, school, School Access to Emergency Epinephrine Act, tragic, VA, Virginia
There are many posts out there already in the Food Allergy community about a tragedy involving a peanut allergy that happened only yesterday in Richmond Virginia. I won’t rehash the details, but I would like to provide some links to articles that are worth reading:
I felt the need to post because we obviously need to reach beyond the Food Allergy community. If you’re reading this, I ask you to reblog, repost, tweet, +1, post your thoughts about the situation, repost one or all of the above articles, tell your friends and neighbors… use social media and good old fashioned word of mouth to spread the word.
This issue is bigger than the bullying, bigger than the politics, bigger than “my kid needs his peanut butter sandwich”.
There is no longer an excuse for anything getting in the way of this. This is not a single isolated incident kind of thing any longer.
“She has an allergy action plan at the school,” said Pendleton, which authorizes the school to give her Benadryl during a reaction. “They didn’t do that,” she said.
At the beginning of this school year, the mother said she tried to give the clinical aid an Epipen for emergencies, but she was declined and told to keep it at home.
According to Chesterfield County School policy parents are supposed to provide the school medication for children with allergies.
This is unacceptable.
Write to your senator now. Write all of your elected officials frequently. Ask them to endorse a bill like this, or any bill that comes up on the issue.
Administering a dose of epinephrine is not a 100% guaranteed life-saver, but imagine if lifeguards in school pools were asked not to administer CPR for drowning children? We sure as hell need to do something.
If it’s your thing, please pray for the family, the teachers, students, emergency responders, and medical staff involved.
What are you waiting for? Read those articles, & re-post now!
Posted in Allergies, Consumer Advocacy, Food, Political
Tagged $7, 1st, 1st Grade, 7years old, Allergies, Allergy, allergy action plan, Ammaria, Ammaria Johnson, anaphylactic reaction, anaphylactic shock, Anaphylaxis, Benadryl, Blog, cardiac arrest, CJW Medical Center, death, emergency, Epi Pen, Epinepherine, Epinephrine autoinjector, EpiPen, First, first grade student, Food, food allergies, Food Allergy, Health, Hopkins Elementary, Hopkins Elementary school, Johnson, Katelyn Carlson, Laura Pendleton, peanut, Peanut Allergy, Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, peanut product, post, reblog, repost, Richmond, Richmond Virginia, Sabrina’s Law, school, School Access to Emergency Epinephrine Act, tragic, VA, Virginia
That with Yahoo! mail, I can post right to my WordPress blog.
“Tip: Drag an email from your Inbox to the WordPress application in the sidebar to blog it.”
Yahoo!, you are an enabler.
Perhaps World (and Lunar) Domination should have had a blog all along, instead of PittsburghBeat.com, MySpace, and now Facebook.
And, maybe my W(aL)D rants aren’t so different from my other stuff.