Comparing my minor inconveniences to a “massive” political movement? Yes. I just did that. I generally make light of many things. You’re about to read one of those things.
"*Limited availability at participating locations" roughly translates to "NONE FOR YOU!"
Arby’s has stopped serving Jalapeño Bites (& more importantly the Bronco Berry Sauce) in some areas. I became informed of this travesty via Twitter…
These tweeters’ tweets are locked, so I can’t do a fancy repost, but…
@AiXeLsyD13 @arbys ring away those b*stards took jalapeño poppers off the menu #thehorror
@AiXeLsyD13 @arbys I don’t know if it’s a local pgh thing but the one by my house said last week they are gone!!! :o( I’m traumatized!!!
@AiXeLsyD13 you write the best letters… @BlondeYinzer @arbys
No reply to that last one, of course.
There’s even a Facebook page dedicated to the plight: Facebook | Bring Back Arby’s Jalapeno Bites
There’s a slightly less eloquent Facebook page that also might be upset: Facebook | Bronco Berry Sauce
This is ridiculous. I can be more ridiculous. So, I decided to submit an email via Arby’s webform:
No more Jalapeño Poppers & (perhaps more importantly) BRONCO BERRY SAUCE®?
Please tell me that this is temporary insanity & that they will be back soon. Please?
I understand that the stores were given a choice between carrying some loaded potato bite shenanigans and the Jalapeño poppers, and local stores in my area (Pittsburgh, PA) opted for the not-so-awesome menu selection.
I understand that we (the consumers) are directed to voice our opinions to the local Arby’s locations.
My questions to you are as follows…
☘ WHY? Why did they have to choose? Why not carry both?
☘ WHY (again)? Why would one choose some potato things over the awesomeness that is BRONCO BERRY SAUCE® (& Jalapeño Poppers)?
☘ HOW? How do I contact the local Arby’s via email? Do they each have email addresses? Is there a regional manager?
☘ WELL? If I can’t get the BRONCO BERRY SAUCE® locally, can I order some online? Will you start bottling & selling it in grocery stores now that it’s no longer readily available to the masses?
It most certainly does not put me in a good mood to not have my BRONCO BERRY SAUCE®. I’m pretty sure I could straight-up just drink the stuff were it a little thinner. Rude Mood Food is more like it now, my friends.
I may have to organize an OCCUPY ARBY’S at a nearby location. It may get crazy. There may be news cameras. It will be a peaceful protest, so please don’t pepper spray any of us. You may, however, shower us with packets of BRONCO BERRY SAUCE® and hot fresh Jalapeño Poppers. We’ll have to chant things like “Don’t be a dingleberry, bring back the Bronco Berry!”, “No Jalapeños dude, that’s Rude Mood Food!”, or “Potato Bites, really bite!” (Well, that one may need work.)
Please, talk some sense into the Arby’s locations in the Pittsburgh area before it comes down to this insanity.
Bronco Berry Backer,
This is all I have received so far:
From: “email@example.com” <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Sent: Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Subject: Arby’s Feedback #473197
Dear Arby’s Guest,
We have received your Guest Feedback message and are directing it to the appropriate department. For follow-up purposes, your feedback tracking number is 473197.
Your feedback helps us improve the overall guest experience at our restaurants. Thank you for taking the time to contact us.
Arby’s Guest Feedback Team
Ridiculous. It’s still not the most ridiculous thing that’s happened in an Arby’s parking lot around here. I mean, remember this dude?
If they have to tell you that it's delicious, maybe it's not really delicious.
Not that I’m the biggest Arby’s fan in the first place. I’m more of a fan of actual Roast Beef, not this lunch-meat stuff like Arby’s or the all-gone-except-the-ones-on-the-Turnpike Roy Rogers has. (Remember Rax? They had that too.) Ever been to Lion’s Choice? I believe they’re centered around St. Louis. That, my friends, is how roast beef is done.
You might say “just get your jalapeño bites (or poppers) somewhere else, you weirdo”. To that, I say…
Are we clear?
Are you also angry about this? Voice your opinions below… perhaps we can get Arby’s to look here & reconsider this grievous error. If not, maybe we’ll to the Occupy Arby’s thing. I bet we could get on the news.
Beyond that, the next step may be petitioning McDonald’s, Wendy’s, & Chick-fil-A to carry them…
Do you have any suggestions for protest slogans? Would you join an Occupy Arby’s movement? What should be our next course of action?