Places where I have played.


Just having fun a while ago, making a map of venues where I have played. For no reason other than fun.

I may be missing some.  Not sure?  I have seen so many local shows, I don’t know if I ever actually played some oft-frequented venues. It’s amazing how many places I have played that are gone.

I know I am missing a bar in Kitanning, and the names of a few places.  Maybe even a private show or two?  If you know of some, help me out!

I have blogged about my old bands, my guitars, & guitar-o-batics. This was just a trip down memory lane.

Have you mapped shows that you have played or attended?  A touring map would be impressive!

Did you attend any of these shows?  Share some memories below!

Dear Garmin…


Dear Garmin,

First off, I’d like to say that in the past I have repeatedly vocalized my approval for the Garmin brand, and GPS units in general.  We have a StreetPilot® c340 and a nüvi® 2555LMT.  I have told people for years to just get a Garmin.  Trust the Garmin.  It won’t get you lost.  It’ll get you where you’re going.  Don’t give me directions like “go down whatever street and make a left at the weird looking tree,” just give me an address.  Don’t fight it.  Turn where it wants you to.  I’ve expressed to my Mom & my in-laws to not fight the Garmin.  Let it take you the way it wants.  Even if it’s different from how you would go.

I even bought the nüvi after I was royally screwed by the “lifetime updates” to my StreetPilot.  (Sure, lifetime updates… with new maps that don’t fit on your StreetPilot.  No, Garmin, I’m not settling for regional maps when I bought updates for the entire continent of North America.)

I’m wondering now how the Garmin calculates routes.  The other day, I was driving on a major expressway, and my nüvi wanted me to exit & take a smaller highway riddled with red lights for most of my journey home.  I knew that staying on the interstate meant less stops.  I didn’t turn off.  It recalculated (thankfully this model does it without telling you), and the route I had chosen was actually 3 minutes shorter than the other route.  I had asked the Garmin to calculate the fastest route.  Obviously, it didn’t.  So, what gives?  It wasn’t the shortest mileage route either (according to Google Maps).  What did the Garmin calculate?

Also finding things “along my current route”… is there any way to give an acceptable deviation?  I know that going through Pittsburgh from anywhere north of the city to our place in the south, I can take two routes.  There’s a BBQ joint along one route, and a Wendy’s along the other.  If I let the Garmin pick a route, and I ask for BBQ joints along the route… it won’t find it because it takes the Wendy’s route.  But the BBQ place is still in between where I am & where I’m going.  This is fine in town… but if I’m out of town, I’d like the Garmin to be able to learn acceptable derivations from my route.  I’d go a different way if it meant finding something I’m looking for.

So, I’ve backed Garmin up.  How are you going to back me up?

Recalculating,
-Eric

Skunk Foot Road

Skunk Foot Road? Really?

You ought to come see some of these shows.


I’m sure you know I’m one of the Berts in Ernie and the Berts.  I’m sure you know we play shows.  I’m sure you’d have fun at one (or two or three or four).  Come rock out with us some time…

Tue. 06/05/2012 @ Altar Bar - Real McKenzies, Goddamn Gallows, Bloody Seamen, Ernie and the Berts

✟ The Real McKenzies ✟ The Goddamn Gallows ✟ The Bloody Seamen ✟ Ernie and the Berts ✟

Tuesday June 5th, 2012 at the Altar Bar (Also, win Ernie’s Pants!)

Fri. 06/22 @ Ozzie's - Nervous Aggression, Don't Wake the Dead, Ernie and the Berts

☠ Nervous Aggression ☠ Don’t Wake the Dead ☠ Ernie and the Berts ☠

Friday June 22nd, 2012 at Ozzie’s Bar & Grill

Fri. 06/23/2012 @ The Fallout Shelter: Ernie and the Berts, Johnnie Lee Jordan, Alex Payne, Joey Molinaro

☢ Ernie and the Berts ☢ Johnnie Lee Jordan ☢ Alex Payne ☢ Joey Molinaro ☢

Saturday June 23rd, 2012 at the Fallout Shelter

Fri. 07/20/2012 @ The Fallout Shelter: OTiS, Scratch n' Sniffs, Ernie and the Berts

☢ OTiS ☢ Scratch n’ Sniffs ☢ Ernie and the Berts ☢

Friday July 20th, 2012 at the Fallout Shelter

As you can see we have a bunch of stuff coming up.  We generally try to be all kinds of fun.  We’re playing with some exciting bands & artists.  We’re playing some new venues & some old favorites.  We’re playing with bands we love & bands we’ve never met.  Each show is an adventure.  Join us!

☘·☠·⚔·✪ Real McKenzies, Goddamn Gallows, The Bloody Seamen, Ernie and the Berts – Tue. Jun. 5th @ Altar Bar! ☘·☠·⚔·✪


That’s right, Ernie and the Berts are opening for Real McKenzies, Goddamn Gallows, & The Bloody Seamen on June 5th at the Altar Bar!

Hello faithful readers.  I’d like to sell mad tickets for this.  The Real McKenzies are right up my alley, these Goddamn Gallows cats look to be our kind of insane, & the Bloody Seamen remind of us our new bff‘s The Botched for some reason.

This is my personal plea to all of you to come out to this show & show us (Ernie and the Berts – the band, and the people) your support.  We’re selling the tickets for $12 a pop in advance, and we hope to sell out quick… so get a hold of me, or get a hold of Erin at ernie@ernieandtheberts.com to score your tix.

I know it’s a Tuesday, and I know it’s not a $5 bar show… but shows like this really help us get our music/name/faces out there.  Don’t you want more people to be aware of the nearly-controlled chaos that is Ernie and the Berts?

Drusky is getting warm to us, and it seems like the Altar Bar digs us… so we’d like to play more shows there more often.  The best way to do that is for us to convince your collective ass to come out to the shows, support national touring acts, local venues & entertainment companies, and local music…. and most of all to have a good time!

I mean, we like to be extra goofy, you never know what Ernie’s up to next.  The Seamen are just ridiculous and you have to see them live to believe it.  Look at the Gallow’s dudes photo & tell me they don’t like to party.  I hear that the Real McKenzies don’t wear anything under their kilts.  You have something going on a Tuesday night that can compare to that awesomeness?

Yeah, you have to get up for work the next day.  So do I.  So do most of the guys in the local bands.  You can deal with it.  Drink an extra coffee in the morning and man (or woman) up.

So, how many tickets do you want?

The Real McKenzies

The Real McKenzies

The Goddamn Gallows

The Goddamn Gallows

The Bloody Seamen

The Bloody Seamen

Ernie and the Berts

Ernie and the Berts

Here are all the details so far, I hope to make a flyer as soon as possible…

The Bands:

The Place:

The Details:

http://twitter.com/#!/AltarBar/status/172831020033388544

Here’s a taste of what you might get…

Feb. 4th. 2012 – Come to this show! (Check out video of all the bands here…)


One week from tonight, this is where you need to be!

Ernie and the Berts

The Bands:

The Place:

The Details:

View original post 11 more words

Stuck in the middle with you…


Make sure you can get the whole way through an intersection before you actually go through it.  I see these dingleberries every weekday morning.  I use the word dignleberry because they cling to automobile in front of them.  Please, study the illustration of the offending intersection by Bing Maps & mad paint.NET skills:

Don't be a dingleberry.

Don't be a dingleberry.

To drive the point home, what you’re seeing is my path (the green arrow) and the wrong path (the red arrow).  The yellow outline is the zone where you should not be when my light turns green.  Let’s call that zone the clean wipe zone.  There are two lanes headed in my direction.  The left lane is where I need to be, the right lane is where most of the red path dingleberries are going, so they can get up on the major highway close by.

One major dingleberry always ends up straddling the inside lane, clearly inside the clean wipe zone.  Sometimes the dingleberry has a friend that sneaks behind, straddling the lanes coming towards me.  That’s super dingleberryish.  Don’t be a dingleberry!

(Dingleberries in the clean wipe zone cause incredible discomfort, and sometimes bring out horn-honking traffic trolls.)

If you end up in the clean wipe zone when my light is green, you are a dingleberry.  There may be several reasons for the offending action…

  1. You’re an idiot and you weren’t paying attention.
  2. You think you can squeeze through.
  3. You’ll do anything to get through your light, not caring if you’re blocking traffic going the other direction.

I have solutions for all of these problems…

  1. Pay attention, idiot.
  2. You obviously can’t, judge better next time.  When it doubt, don’t.
  3. You are not more important than the throngs of others on their way to work.  Why block a whole bunch of them?

Are we clear?

It’s called “right of way”, you anuses.


People consistently drive incorrectly, illegally, and dangerously at more than a few intersections that I travel through on a somewhat regular basis.  I’d like to deal with them all eventually, but let’s just start with one at a time.  I’ve talked about this kind of stuff before, and I’m not saying that I’m the perfect driver or never do anything wrong with my vehicles… but this kind of stuff is covered in the PA driver’s manual, isn’t it?

The first intersection that I’d like to deal with has a clearly marked right-of-way, but it’s apparently not clear to all drivers licensed by the great Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.  First a description of the intersection in question thanks to Google Maps & my mad paint.NET skills:

Can you find all of the STOP signs?

Can you find all of the STOP signs? ( Hint: There's just 1.)

Does this really need any explanation?  Of course it does, or I wouldn’t be here ranting about it.  The green arrows are the path I usually take.  I chose green for my arrows, because I’m obviously always right.

Red arrow path people… I’m talkin’ to you.  I’ve seen you all try to pull out in front of me, no matter which green-arrowed path I’m taking.  You sit there, eking forward as if to tell me you’re interested in playing intersection chicken, or simply that you don’t quite comprehend that I don’t also have a stop sign.  To channel Dr. Seuss;

I don’t have a stop sign going up the hill,
I don’t have a stop sign going down the hill.
I can spot stop signs with such skill,
It must make you very ill.
I don’t have a stop sign going around the bend,
I don’t have a stop sign like you, my friend.

In case it’s unclear, the stop on the sign indicates that you are to sit there until all others in the intersection (with the right-of way) have gone though.  Which unfortunately for you, in this instance, is everyone except you.

CROSS TRAFFIC ⇆ DOES NOT STOP

...but YOU do.

Maybe they need an “opposing traffic does not stop” sign or something to the same effect there (if there isn’t one already).  Maybe we need someone to stand there, and hand out printed copies of instructions on how to navigate the intersection successfully …or even just a copy of this blog post.

Please, stop crowding forward when the tiny section of road gets backed up at that light in the morning.  Please, stop making faces at me and throwing your hands wildly into the air like I have wronged you in some way as I come up the hill around the bend to the left.  Please don’t cut me off as I’m waiting in the backed-up traffic to get to the light.  I don’t have a stop sign.  You do.  I didn’t cut you off.  I’m driving correctly, you’re an anus.

(We don’t use that word nearly enough.)

It would be beyond super-awesome…


Cover of "Don't Make Me Wait"

Don't Make Me Wait

It would be beyond super-awesome if you could come out to this show. Why? Ernie worked hard to bring Locksley to town.  They just got back from Japan, and they’re rocking selected cities around the U.S. You can’t deny their incredibly poppy sound & we can tell you that they put on one hell of a show.  Go to their site, check out the free EP, look ’em up on YouTube, hear ’em on TV, then come see ’em live next week with us at the Smiling Moose.

Original post here: I’ll take Locksley for $10, Alex!

Reposting below:

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You’ve heard their songs. You know Locksley even if you don’t know it. They’re the next big thing, and you have the chance to see them now! Ernie and one of the Berts saw them open for Fountains of Wayne in Philadelphia, and they dug it so much that Ernie decided to set up a show to bring these guys to the ‘Burgh!

Locksley

From Wikipedia:

Television, Press and Placements

Locksley performed “Don’t Make Me Wait”, “Let Me Know” and “She Does” on Jimmy Kimmel Live! March 2, 2007. They performed “Let Me Know” on Late Night With Conan O’Brien on August 13, 2007. MTV made Locksley their “Featured Artist of the Week” for two weeks straight on September 8–22, 2008.

After the release of Don’t Make Me Wait, Locksley were featured in multiple magazine spreads, notably SPIN Magazine’s “Breaking Out”, Rolling Stone‘s “6 Breakout Bands to Watch”, Alternative Press‘s “100 Bands You Need To Know” and in ELLE Magazine with an 8 page fashion spread in their March 2007 issue.

Many of the songs off of Don’t Make Me Wait were licensed for TV, commercials and movies, notably: “She Does” as the theme to HLN‘s Morning Express with Robin Meade, placement in the Friday the 13th remake, “Don’t Make Me Wait” as the trailer music to the Paul Rudd and Eva Longoria movie Over Her Dead Body and “My Kind of Lover” in the J.J. Abrams-produced Cloverfield.

On August 24, 2008, “All Over Again,” “Don’t Make Me Wait,” and “She Does” were made available as downloadable content for the popular Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 game series Rock Band. The songs have been downloaded over 60,000 times to date. Locksley credits licenses with keeping the band going.[3]

Locksley wrote the song “Slink (A Hymn)” for use as the theme song to FOX’s TV show The Good Guys.

The ECHL hockey team the Toledo Walleye plays the chorus of “The Whip” whenever the team scores a goal at home.

Owens Community College uses “The Whip” in a number of radio and TV commercials. “The Whip” is also used in an American Family Insurance commercial, and has been used by the Columbus Blue Jackets, Detroit Red Wings, Vancouver Canucks, Toronto Maple Leafs, and Dallas Stars as their goal song since 2011-12.

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You can buy your tickets now to make sure you get them in your music-loving hands in time for the show. You can also buy at the door. Really though… It’s 2011. Try buying something online. It’s quick. Convenient. Easy.

❧ LOCKSLEY w/ Ernie and the Berts & The Mondaze - Tue. Nov. 15th 2011 @ The Smiling Moose (Pittsburgh, PA - South Side)

❧ LOCKSLEY w/ Ernie and the Berts & The Mondaze - Tue. Nov. 15th 2011 @ The Smiling Moose (Pittsburgh, PA - South Side)

Here are the show details, stay tuned for videos after the details:

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The Bands:

The Venue:

The Details:

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http://twitter.com/#!/LocksleyMusic/status/128484733981179904

http://twitter.com/#!/LocksleyMusic/status/131161295209775104

http://twitter.com/#!/LocksleyMusic/status/131144967140814849

➳➳➳

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Ernie and the Berts – November Shows


We have some shows coming up.  You ought to attend.  We’re a good time.  I promise.

The Punk Rock Sock Hop Invades Pittsburgh! Sat.11/05/2011

The Punk Rock Sock Hop Invades Pittsburgh! Sat.11/05/2011

This is going to be one crazy show… bands, magic, a DJ spinning 50’s tunes, zombies, contests, prizes, and probably even drunk chicks.  You can get free admission and some other goodies from Pittsburgh Punk Rock with very minimal effort (if he extends the contest).  This benefits Free Ride Pittsburgh, and is a Pittsburgh City Paper Critic’s Pick for this weekend!  Click the flyer for details, links to all the other bands & entertainment!

Locksley, Ernie and the Berts, & The Mondze! 11/15/2011 @ The Smiling Moose!

Locksley, Ernie and the Berts, & The Mondze! 11/15/2011 @ The Smiling Moose!

Click the flyer for details, to see videos from all 3 bands, the link to buy tickets, and check the comments for the link to a free EP called Ghosts from Locksley with a fun Halloween theme!  Erin saw these guys in concert, and wanted to bring ’em here to the ‘Burgh.  You’ve heard the song “The Whip”.  Lets show them some love!  Help spread the word.

McConsistency is Key.


Recently for lunch, I had a reconstituted-onion & cheese sandwich from McDonald’s with a little bit of beef on it.  It was extra special because it was pressed.  It was not like a panini press with grill lines, but more like someone sat on it.  There were also pickles stacked on top of each other, sticking out of the side.  Very artful & creative!

This wasn’t even from the West Liberty location.

I recently had a friend send one of his friends’ McTale-of-woe to me, because I have apparently become some sort of authority on all things wrong with McDonald’s customer service.

The reason I told of my recent adventure in lunch, is that it fits with the tale as told by someone who wishes to remain nameless, blameless, & shameless:

From: Pattyless Sandwich
Date: Wed, Sep 28, 2011 at 9:29 AM
Subject: The Day McDonald’s Shit All Over My Good Time
To: The Hamburglar

On Sept. 27, 2011 I went through the drive thru at McDonald’s on Mt. Lebanon Blvd. in Castle Shannon, PA. I ordered a number 4 (two cheeseburgers), and I asked for no onion. When I got back to my friends house and we started eating I noticed that the sandwich looked really thin but I just figured it was smashed down a little more THAN NECESSARY so I bit in anyway. As I was chewing, I realized something wasn’t right about what was being smashed around in my mouth. I set my sandwich down and removed the top part of the bun to see the following: slice of cheese on the bottom half of the bun, pickles, ketchup, and mustard. Yes, that is correct, there was no meat on the sandwich. Luckily I had another sandwich, that in fact had the patty, to eat, but they put onions on it. The only thing I asked them to void. Now I understand work is work and if you have a job to live then that is fantastic, but to be the person to put the burgers together at McDonald’s, I feel like you go through a training day to be shown how to assemble them. Bottom bun, slice of cheese (I’m guessing it is on the bottom so the burger melts it, let’s not get crazy this shit isn’t cooked together), HAMBURGER PATTY, and then your condiments. Who put mine together and thought “hm….this looks right. Nothing is missing, I am a brilliant fucking burger maker extraordinaire.”? It’s not a hamburger from a hamburger joint if there is no meat. To quote a smart fast food chain (rhymes with Shmendy’s), “Where’s the beef!?”

Sincerely,
Pattyless Sandwich

And, there’s even a Facebook photo:

Veggie Burger?

Veggie Burger?

Ridiculous.  At least this didn’t come through my contact form from someone thinking I was McDonald’s.

Friends, I seriously wish I could write to the McGiant on your behalf, but all of my insane yet legitimate complaints have fallen on deaf ears, blind eyes, or typical McCustomer-Service employees.

Check out my track record.  While I feel for you, maybe try their McPennsylvania site?  I can do nothing at this point but perhaps share in your misery, my freinds!