What the hell are the people upstairs doing?

Image by -ant! via Flickr

I’ve lived in the same apartment for many years.  My wife has lived there with me for most of that time.  I’ve seen several neighbors come & go from the apartment upstairs… but they all make noise.  Not just “normal” people walking around noise, but crazy “what the hell are they doing up there?” kind of noise.

The latest tenants are very quiet to see them outside, but at home in their own domain, they are noise monsters.

This is a list of things that I’m absolutely sure they’re doing if I’m to guess by sound alone:

• Doing the laser-pointer game with a 3-legged, one-eyed cat.
• Dragging a sack full of rocks up the steps, making sure to hit every step on the way up.
• Sled-riding down the stairs, fully padded with pillows & a football helmet of course.
• A rodeo where they ride pigs or sheep instead of bulls.
• Relay races from the kitchen to the living room, & back.  (With time-trials, of course.)
• Reenacting the scene from Temple of Doom where that dude rips out the other dude’s heart.
• Racket-ball with basketballs and cricket bats.
• Hammering nails directly in to the wall to make a built-in Plinko board to match the built-in cabinets.
• Homemade giant sticky wall-octopus races.  (Maybe with real Octopuses?)
• Atlaspheres.
• Staircase percussion only marching band.
• Teaching clogging to a rhinoceros.

I’m sure there’s more going on.  This is only the tip of the iceberg.  Sometimes I’m hurt that we’re not invited to join in on the incredibly fun-sounding activities.  I could be wrong, but I doubt it.

It makes it interesting when this stuff occurs at 11:00pm, especially the stairwell activities… because their staircase goes right over top of our bed.

Anyone want to help me set up some cameras?

Related articles

• Will you please be quiet please? — But I am! (ask.metafilter.com)
• Something Upstairs (mrboyers.wordpress.com)
• Ask Casa: Advice on Noisy Upstairs Neighbors (casasugar.com)
• Shhhhh: How to Block Out Noise (wisebread.com)

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