This Week It’s 2 “Prependicular” Peter Parkers!
This is genius. Tired of being able to do nothing when you see someone parked like a Jagoff? Now you can do something about it. Check out these perpendicular Peter Parkers as an example, and check out the printable parking “tickets”!
Just don’t damage anyone’s car (especially stickered or flagged ones), and don’t get caught and/or shot in the process.
One of these days I need to capture the people that park on the yellow-lined triangle int he middle of the lot at the Kuhn’s on Banksville. They usually stop there to disrupt traffic when going to the ATM or Starbucks.
YaJagoff.com | Printable Parking Notes: Do NOT ruin anyone’s vehicle!!
Snap a photo, place the ticket, and they can watch for themselves online. I only wish there was a way to call out the Peter Parkers who can’t Parallel Park on the street in front of my house.
I might need to make a custom one that says something like this:
Hey Jagoff New People That Just Moved Here,
Why has the number of cars on our street doubled since you’ve moved in? Please note that there’s an alley behind your house where you can park two (or at least one) of those cars. I don’t have an alley behind my apartment, so that’s not an option for me. Help make the neighborhood an easier place to park by not being a Jagoff.
Your Grumpy Jagoff Neighbor
Hey Jagoff That Visits Someone Here A Few Nights A Week,
Your truck is as long as a school bus, and is probably as wide. I appreciate that your solution is to sometimes park with a tire on the sidewalk, but that’s not really cool. It’s also not cool to take up 3 spaces by parking a half car-length (or quarter truck-length) away from the vehicle in front of and or behind you. I appreciate that you probably can’t see from your seat that’s 2 stories high… so maybe you should just park in the lot at the bottom of the hill & walk to wherever you need to go.
A Jagoff that actually lives in this neighborhood
Or even this:
Dear Jagoff Neighbors,
How is it possible that you have a picnic, birthday party, barbecue, bonfire, or gathering for a sporting event every weekend? Why is the gathering place for your entire extended family at your house? Don’t you ever go to their houses? Why is it that I can’t make a trip to CVS or anywhere else close by on a weekend without my space getting filled before I return? Do you have a lookout on the porch doing some sort of jagoff valet where you move all of your cars closer? Do you like to watch me carry 20 bags of groceries for 2 blocks? There is a parking lot at the bottom of the hill for your family. We occasionally like to entertain on the weekends too. We tell people to park in the lot.
A Jagoff Neighbor
Okay, I need to go do something to calm down.
Posted in Funny Stuff, Good Websites, Other Blogs, Pittsburgh, Road Rage
Tagged alley, asshole-parking, ATM, automobile, Autos, Banksville, chalk outlines, Dormont, Extreme Parking Talents, Famous, jagoff, laws, line, lines, neighbor, neighborhood, neighbors, note, notes, On-Street Parking, PA, Paralell Parking, Parallel Park, park, parkign violations, Parking, Parking Laws, parking lines, parking lot, Parking Note, Parking Rules, parking ticket, parking tickets, Parking violation, Parking Zones, Pennsylvania, Perpendicular, Peter Parker, Pgh, Pittsburgh, printable, printable parking notes, printable parking tickets, road rage, Rules, Starbucks, ticket, traffic, www.YaJagoff.com, Ya, Ya Jagoff, YaJagoff, YaJagoff.com, zone
So, I had some Tunnel Monster submissions, but I’d like some more. These hail from Josh, Joel, & Ian. Thanks to those guys for being awesome and taking the time to create these artist renderings. These men are true believers in the Tunnel Monster.
No replies from anyone at History or Discovery either. Poo, I say. Poo. Poo indeed.
Get on it, people! We need more! Aren’t you curious as to what the Tunnel Monster may look like? No one put a Sarlacc in a tunnel hole? I find your lack of participation disturbing.
Not submissions, but fun recommendations from Zemanta…
Tunnel monster.jpg (Photo credit: Oyvind Solstad)
monster in the tunnel (Photo credit: danielle_blue)
Image via Wikipedia
Posted in Consumer Advocacy, Funny Stuff, Letters, Pittsburgh, Road Rage, Road Trips, W(aL)D
Tagged #StarWars, artist interperetation, artist rendering, ☠, chaos, Driving, Fort Pitt, Fort Pitt Tunnel, Liberty, Liberty Tubes, Liberty Tunnel, monster, PA, Pennsylvania, Pgh, Pittsburgh, Poo, Sarlacc, Squirrel Hill, Squirrel Hill Tunnel, traffic, true believers, tunnel, Tunnel Monster, W(aL)D, World (and Lunar) Domination, firstname.lastname@example.org, W_a_L_D, Zemanta
Make sure you can get the whole way through an intersection before you actually go through it. I see these dingleberries every weekday morning. I use the word dignleberry because they cling to automobile in front of them. Please, study the illustration of the offending intersection by Bing Maps & mad paint.NET skills:
Don't be a dingleberry.
To drive the point home, what you’re seeing is my path (the green arrow) and the wrong path (the red arrow). The yellow outline is the zone where you should not be when my light turns green. Let’s call that zone the clean wipe zone. There are two lanes headed in my direction. The left lane is where I need to be, the right lane is where most of the red path dingleberries are going, so they can get up on the major highway close by.
One major dingleberry always ends up straddling the inside lane, clearly inside the clean wipe zone. Sometimes the dingleberry has a friend that sneaks behind, straddling the lanes coming towards me. That’s super dingleberryish. Don’t be a dingleberry!
(Dingleberries in the clean wipe zone cause incredible discomfort, and sometimes bring out horn-honking traffic trolls.)
If you end up in the clean wipe zone when my light is green, you are a dingleberry. There may be several reasons for the offending action…
- You’re an idiot and you weren’t paying attention.
- You think you can squeeze through.
- You’ll do anything to get through your light, not caring if you’re blocking traffic going the other direction.
I have solutions for all of these problems…
- Pay attention, idiot.
- You obviously can’t, judge better next time. When it doubt, don’t.
- You are not more important than the throngs of others on their way to work. Why block a whole bunch of them?
Are we clear?
Posted in Pittsburgh, Rants in my pants, Road Rage
Tagged 2 lanes, Bing Map, Bing Maps, blocking, clean wipe zone, dingleberry, Google Maps, inside lane, intersection, Lane, lanes, light, rant, road rage, stop light, straddling, traffic, traffic laws, traffic light