This is genius. Tired of being able to do nothing when you see someone parked like a Jagoff? Now you can do something about it. Check out these perpendicular Peter Parkers as an example, and check out the printable parking “tickets”!
Just don’t damage anyone’s car (especially stickered or flagged ones), and don’t get caught and/or shot in the process.
One of these days I need to capture the people that park on the yellow-lined triangle int he middle of the lot at the Kuhn’s on Banksville. They usually stop there to disrupt traffic when going to the ATM or Starbucks.
Snap a photo, place the ticket, and they can watch for themselves online. I only wish there was a way to call out the Peter Parkers who can’t Parallel Park on the street in front of my house.
I might need to make a custom one that says something like this:
Hey Jagoff New People That Just Moved Here,
Why has the number of cars on our street doubled since you’ve moved in? Please note that there’s an alley behind your house where you can park two (or at least one) of those cars. I don’t have an alley behind my apartment, so that’s not an option for me. Help make the neighborhood an easier place to park by not being a Jagoff.
Respectfully,
Your Grumpy Jagoff Neighbor
Or this:
Hey Jagoff That Visits Someone Here A Few Nights A Week,
Your truck is as long as a school bus, and is probably as wide. I appreciate that your solution is to sometimes park with a tire on the sidewalk, but that’s not really cool. It’s also not cool to take up 3 spaces by parking a half car-length (or quarter truck-length) away from the vehicle in front of and or behind you. I appreciate that you probably can’t see from your seat that’s 2 stories high… so maybe you should just park in the lot at the bottom of the hill & walk to wherever you need to go.
Thanks,
A Jagoff that actually lives in this neighborhood
Or even this:
Dear Jagoff Neighbors,
How is it possible that you have a picnic, birthday party, barbecue, bonfire, or gathering for a sporting event every weekend? Why is the gathering place for your entire extended family at your house? Don’t you ever go to their houses? Why is it that I can’t make a trip to CVS or anywhere else close by on a weekend without my space getting filled before I return? Do you have a lookout on the porch doing some sort of jagoff valet where you move all of your cars closer? Do you like to watch me carry 20 bags of groceries for 2 blocks? There is a parking lot at the bottom of the hill for your family. We occasionally like to entertain on the weekends too. We tell people to park in the lot.
Thanks,
A Jagoff Neighbor
Okay, I need to go do something to calm down.
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