Should you be featured on #GuitarHoarders? 🎸


Narrator: “Up next on Guitar Hoarders; Jim, 48, a self-professed ‘Blues Lawyer’ from Oaklahoma is going through a divorce due to his recent failure to remove 27 partscasters from his bathroom, leaving his soon-to-be-ex-wife to do her business in the rose bushes out back.”

Narrator: “Jim’s wife, Tonya, thought the rented apartment two towns over was for another woman, but it was way worse than she could have imagined. It was full of Chibsons and falsely advertised ‘Lawsuit Era’ LP copies that were actually nothing of the sort.”

Tonya: “I wish his browser history had said PornHub or RedTube, but no… it was all Reverb, eBay, ShopGoodwill, Craigslist, and the lowest of the low… local & national guitar forums on Facebook!

Don’t even get me started on LetGo and OfferUp. I wish I had found Tinder or even Grinder. That, I could deal with.”

Narrator: “Tonya did at least see a bright side to all of the madness.”

Tonya: “I mean, I guess at least it wasn’t Reddit.”

Jim: “I guess I don’t need that many guitars. I mean, I don’t get to play as often as I like. Most of my time is spent online explaining to n00bz how tone wood makes a huge difference, why I think Gibson is overrated and how they have gone downhill, the best types of wood for a fretboard, you know… the important stuff. There are some real idiots out there. How can you have fun if you’re not getting the best possible tone from your fingers?”

Narrator: “Jim is seemingly unaware that he has a problem.”

Jim: “GAS? No, never heard of it. Wait, is that the psychobilly jam-band that plays every open stage night at Free Beer Tomorrow over in Tulsa? No?

Anyway, did you know that Slash’s Les Paul that he used on Appetite for Destruction wasn’t even a Gibson?  And now they endorse him?  I mean.  If you don’t know that, you shouldn’t even be allowed to play Guitar Hero.”

Tonya: “I’m currently living with my sister.  Her husband plays the bass, so he can’t afford to have a hoarding problem.”

Jim: “That guy?  He doesn’t even know the difference between active and passive pickups.  Heh.”

Narrator: “At this time, Jim refuses counseling.  He thinks they can work it out.”

Jim: “I was teaching her how to play, but Mel Bay is so dumb.  We re-started with a ‘Top 50 riffs of all time’article form an old guitar magazine out of my pile.  I mean, there are only 8 notes, right?  Or is it 12?

I was trying to tell these guys at the county fair that they were playing the riff for ‘Lay Down Sally’ wrong, but you just can’t tell some people things.  I have a tabographic memory.  That’s where you can instantly remember every guitar tab that you have ever seen.”

🎸

TLC, I have another TV show for you.  This is a comment from a guitar group gone awry because I amuse myself way too much.  Who wants to do a YouTube sketch comedy show for a very specific audience?

Guitar Collection 2017

If I ever buy another guitar…


I certainly don’t need another guitar.  I’m always looking at them though.  There are just so many different kinds out there, and I can appreciate almost all of them.  Some I actually sort of drool over, & eventually I end up with one.  I don’t think 13 Guitars in 2013 will ever become a reality.  I can always add cool guitars to my Pinterest board, right?

These are some that I’m always thinking about…

Epiphone USA Map Guitar

Epiphone USA Map Guitar

Goofy Map

Like this…

The Epiphone USA Map Guitar – It has to be ridiculously cumbersome to play, but no more than my Galveston B.B. Stone.  The brown finish is neat, but I’d love it to look like an old-school pastel textbook map of the USA.  They pop up on ebay every once in a while, but none are ever priced low enough that I feel it’s a “must buy” because I’ll never see the same deal again.  There are other companies that make them too.  I’m not picky, I just like the shape & the idea.  It would certainly be a fun one on stage.

Fernandes Ravelle

Fernandes Ravelle

Fernandes Ravelle Deluxe

Deluxe

The Fernandes Ravelle – I’d like any of them really, but the green Dave Kushner model is awesome.  I dig the green color, and the sweet pick guard with holes in it.  I love how it takes the classic Les Paul shape, and makes it a little Alien.  The curves are awesome.  I dig the sound too, on the Velvet Revolver albums & live show.  I’ve seen a few in action at shows around here, but I’ve only seen one for sale at Guitar Center in Robinson.  I almost dropped more money than I could afford on it… it was only around $500 which seemed reasonable.   Sadly, I made a sound financial decision that day.

Fretlight Guitar

Fretlight Guitar

Fretlight® Guitar – It seems like it would just be really fun to play with one.  I might even learn a scale other than the pentatonic with one.  I like the old school one with the knobs & switches.  I don’t know if I’d even gig out with it, unless you could program it to make a cool light show or spell out the name of your band or something tasteless & offensive on the fretboard.  Maybe even the word “POOP” because, well, that’s always funny.

Hallmark Guitars Wing-Bat

Hallmark Guitars Wing-Bat

Hallmark Guitars Wing-Bat – Or the George Barris Batman guitar.  I’ll probably never have enough money to own this thing, but it sure is cool.  No Batmobile beats the 60’s Batmobile… and this thing looks like it was in the trunk all along.  If anyone has one that needs a good home, let me know.  I’ll play it & take care of it quite well.  I’d gig out with it too.  It’s a shame when these collector guitars hit a shelf somewhere never to be played again.

DIPinto Mach IV

DIPinto Mach IV

DiPinto Mach IV – One of my favorite guitars playersplays one of these sweet-looking axes. It’s very eye-catching.  It’s almost like a Mosrite, but not quite.  Gel from The Eyeliners is one hell of a guitar player, & the reason I want one.  I’m generally not a fan of red guitars, but with this… I’d like a red one.

Annihilator

Annihilator

Annihilator copy by Oktober Guitars – I’m not nearly as cool as Doyle, but I’d love to play one… being a Misfits Fiend for all these years.  I’m not sure I’ll ever have $600 lying around for a guitar that I wouldn’t play all the time.

I do also want a bunch of other stuff that’s not so specific.   I’d love to have a hollowbody, something like an Ibanez Artstar/Artcore or Epiphone Flamekat.  I’d love a custom Millennium Falcon guitar.  I’d love one of Tom Bingham’s creations like the Record guitar or suitcase guitar.  I like weird stuff, like the Bigfoot Guitar or the Electric Ant Farm guitar.

I’d like a translucent guitar.  I did want one of those lime green BC Rich models that were out a while back.  They had them in Warlock, Bich or Mockingbird styles, but I’m not sure I could pull that off.  I’d also like a see-through Galveston (or any “off “brand) Les Paul or Telecaster.  A translucent guitar with LED’s in it would be incredibly fun.

I would like a Fender Toronado or Gibson Firebrand too.  Maybe any sort of double-neck or even a 6-string banjo.  I’m sure there are other guitars out there that I want that I just don’t know about.

Check out my Guitars Board on Pinterest for an ever-evolving list.

What’s on your wish-list?

Free Swag From Guitar Center!


So, did you read the last post about the Guitalele & Guitar Center’s price match guarantee?  The whole thing is pretty awesome, especially if you’re a musician and you actively purchase gear.  It’s worth checking out, so click that link.

Once you’ve read that, this will make sense:

The gig bag & the stand are a perfect fit!  Thanks again to Luke for the excellent customer service, and to YaJagoff for sparking it!

Guitar Center does me a solid, and I didn’t even initiate it.


On the Saturday before Christmas, we were headed to a family gathering & gift exchange.  On the way, we stopped at Guitar Center in Monroeville so I could pick up a book of Christmas Carols that I had seen at the Guitar Center in Robinson.  I didn’t find the same book, but was pleased with two that I did find.

Guitalele GL1

Guitalele GL1 (Photo credit: matsuyuki)

Usually, I’m the one who lollygags in guitar stores, but the wife has taken up the ukulele, and over the past few years she’s the one that lingers near the ever-growing uke section at music stores.  In Monroeville’s Guitar Center, the ukes were right by the music books, so we both started looking.  Bethany was the first to spot our newest acquisition… The Yamaha GL1 “Guitalele“.  We both were fascinated by it, and I played with it a little as she asked “Do you want this as an early Birthday present?”

At first, I said no and went to hang it back up, but flipped over the price tag and saw that it was $99.99.  She gave me the “just get it” look, so we both new I just landed an early birthday present.  I do enjoy the wife’s ukulele, but the GCEA tuning did always mess with me.  Now I can play the ukulele without having to play the ukulele.  Although, if tuned “properly” the guitalele should be ADGCEA.  Of course, I dropped it to E because I didn’t like pretending it was a guitar with a capo on the 5th fret.  Although, I may have to get thicker strings or just suck it up & put it back in the A tuning.  They’re sort of like rubber-bands at this point.

Well, that’s just the first part of the story.  The second part stems from some interactions on Twitter.  I’ll try to post it all here as it happened, thanks to @YaJagoff and Luke from Guitar Center.

A simple question.  I gave the easy, flippant, and predictable answer.  Rock musicians are supposed to rail against the establishment and big business, right?  Well, Guitar Center proves to be awesome here…

These are the links I sent to Luke at Yourvoice@guitarcenter.com:

I only half-jokingly asked “Any chance I could get a gig bag or stand for free?”  I mean, it never hurts to ask, right?

I was met with a response saying I was getting both of them for free!  We discussed shipping details & the right size gig bag in a few more email exchanges… but they’re now on the way to me via UPS.

I’ve written to companies before, but I’ve never had any of them seek me out on a social media platform in a conversation that wasn’t even addressed to them.  It’s pretty cool that Guitar Center believes in their price guarantee so much that they actively go after any perceived detraction.  It’s also cool that they’ll not only go up against brick-and-mortar stores, but online retailers too.

That being said, the “little guys” could argue that they have no way to compete.  They can’t buy in quantities & therefore probably not at such a low price… so there’s no way they can pass on such savings.  Free enterprise, supply & demand, competition, it’s all very interesting & a continually evolving battle.

At any rate, I win out here… with a free gig bag & stand.  So, thanks to Ya Jagoff!!! & Luke for helping to set the whole thing into motion!  I’ll post some photos of the gig bag & stand as soon as I have them.

So, does the Guitalele count as a guitar in my “13 Guitars in 2013” goal?

So, how do I make money at this art thing?


I’m a lazy artist.  I always have been.  I generally make art for fun, and give it away.  I made a ton of cool stuff in art class in high school and even in my time at WCCC, now I only have a fraction of it.  I’ve never had an interest in making money from any of it, perhaps because I felt it wasn’t perfect or even “good enough” to sell.  Perhaps it was because I’d feel “dirty” making money from art.  I’m also lazy in that I have a lot of ideas that don’t make it to fruition.  (You should see the AiXeLsyD and Gasoline Dion “almost” song piles… and that Yup-punk band idea…)

I also went through a phase of drawing a bunch of comic book stuff… and it was always my understanding that Marvel didn’t want me selling my Wolverine art, and DC didn’t want me to sell my Batman art.  Somehow the Airbrush guy at the mall makes money on pretty much any popular character out there.  (Exactly who’s buying white T-shirts with airbrushed Mickey Mouse and Garfield on them at a mall kiosk in 2011 is a subject of another blog.)  Is that guy bootlegging?  Is he paying royalty fees?

With the advent of sites like Etsy (and more so Regretsy), I can see now that my art is certainly acceptable for sale.  I’d like to think it’s a few grades above what’s considered acceptable for sale.  The question remains on copyrights though… I see all kinds of people selling Superman, Batman and Spider-Man stuff with images clearly ripped from elsewhere.  Not that I want to sell comic book-art, but I never know what mood will strike me.  My flyer art is mainly bastardization of existing images… so I’m sure I can’t sell any of that kind of stuff.  Again, I think I’m veering toward the subject matter of an entirely different blog.  Back to the insanity at hand…

I’ve been drawing mazes for what seems like forever.  I started them when I was a kid & was in the hospital for a while.  I remember my pediatrician saying I ought to look into getting them published.  I obviously never have.  I have through twitter found another cat on the internet who draws mazes… he sells them online & at art shows and has used LuLu to publish some books.  Is that a good avenue to explore?

I have an idea for what I think would be an amusing photo book… but how does one go into execution of such an idea?  Do I even have time for something like this?

Would I use something like deviantART to set up shop?  How do I get prints made from original artwork?  Should I settle for a Cafe Press or Zazzle store?  Ha ha.  I’d like to put photography in the mix too, eventually.  Every once in a while I capture some stuff that would look great on someone’s wall.  How do I sell the stuff online without the seller site making most of the money, or without breaking the bank in setting up a site & paying any maintenance fees while not selling anything… therefore eventually losing money?

People have also told me that I ought to get paid to write.  I must confess, I would most likely be an editor’s nightmare.  I jump tenses like hopscotch, and my grammar & typing can be quite poor… even though I can differentiate between you’re and your and the apparently difficult they’re/there/their.  (Is it just me, or do they all sound totally different if you’re pronouncing them correctly?)  If you would like to pay me to write, I will certainly take your money.

I don’t think I do well with deadlines or commissions though.  I don’t work well with others’ ideas.  I’d like to make my own mazes, drawings, paintings, photos, etc. at my own pace.  Although, I aim to be productive with art, & maybe buy some more camera accessories, or a new amp, guitar, or some other new goofy instrument or piece of equipment.  (Because I apparently can’t make any money as a musician unless I join/form a human jukebox band – and let’s face it; I’m a poor guitarist.  Ha ha.)

As you can see, I’m all over the place.  I need focus/direction.  I guess I’m just looking for advice beyond the “you should publish a book” or “you should sell your photos” or the “you should write for someone” point.  I get that, and accept that… but how?  I’m looking for specifics here.  I’d like to hear “I use such & such & it’s fantastic, and works like…” and not “I think my cousin’s uncle’s mother’s neighbor uses blah blah blah, …I think.”  Are you an artist?  How do you sell your work?  Hit me with your wisdom!

The Dewey Deceibel FlipOut Guitar


FlipOut Guitars

FlipOut Guitars

I have a problem with weird guitars.  I’m drawn to them.  I love the classic Les Paul shape and sound, but something about goofy-looking guitars really speaks to me.  I’ve blogged before about my Galveston B.B. Stone, and drooled over the fanboy/kitsch factor of the Millennium Falcon guitar.  Now, I’d like to blog about my most recent 6-string purchase… the Dewey Decibel FlipOut Guitar.

I was drawn to the goofiness when I saw it somewhere online.  I even saw it hanging in Pittsburgh Guitars once, but I had no play money at the time, and couldn’t justify getting the thing.

I bought it through ebay a while ago, as my last band (Gasoline Dion) was kind of petering itself out of existence.  I hadn’t really gotten the chance to use it on stage until recently.  It always draws out a question or admiration.  I don’t think I’ve drawn ire from anyone yet… except the expressed-yet-repressed hatred that my friend and guitar-guru Dave has toward just the general idea of the thing.

Dewey Decibel FlipOut Models

Dewey Decibel FlipOut Models

Yet despite his disdain for the abomination of an axe, Dave did help me install some GFS pickups to replace the stock ones… since I do like that beefier fat-Strat sound.  They’re some great pickups for the price.  Ernie and the Berts recently recorded a demo, and I’m quite happy with the tone coming from the guitar.  I also like the feel of the frets.  This has become my “it” guitar of the moment.

The weird thing about these guitars other than the backwards body is the color schemes and names.  I oddly enough chose the “Lit Cigarette” color scheme.  I wouldn’t mind  a black pick-guard, but I don’t think you can walk into any guitar shop and just pick one up.

Eric Aixelsyd - Dewey Decibel FlipOut Guitar Lit Cigarette

Fallout Shelter - Oct 30th, 2010

Obviously, I like the whimsical/goofy factor with this thing, and my “stage name” being ERiC AiXeLsyD, I felt that that backwards guitar should certainly fit that quite well.

I’m glad that Dewey Decibel makes this guitar, and I’m glad that I found one… or it found me.  I’d love to see photos of other FlipOuts in action.  I know they even have basses if you want some backwards bottom-end.  They may just be prototypes, their web page hasn’t changed for quite some time… and as it last stands they’re available for pre-order, “to be filled in 2005.”

If you have one of these guitars, or know someone who does… post photos!