Legoland New York Shenanigans – Go there!


🗽

Family photo in front of the LEGO statue of Liberty.

Her tablet should say "Of course you're tired, after this amusement park you'll be Poor."
Family photo in front of the LEGO statue of Liberty.

This year, we let the kids pick the vacations. Luckily a new job afforded me more time, and we took a year off from being camp counselors/directors. I had offered the beach. I hate the beach, but we have never gone as a family. They brainstormed & settled on Legoland in New York, a trip to visit good friends that live in NJ who took us to New York City, and an upcoming trip to Washington DC.

My wife did the booking/research and set us up for 3 nights in the hotel and 2 days in the park. We both looked at two Facebook groups prior to going to help glean some knowledge:

Somehow, I was dirty banned from the first group with no warning or explanation. 😂 The second group is totally cool. I would suggest joining both. The only thing I can think that got me banned was the toilet thing (keep reading), or that I said to take cash even though they all said not to. (More on that in a bit too.)

I’ll put a list of my tips at the end.

Full disclosure: I like LEGO as much as if not more than the kids. We all do. Even my wife has gotten into building some really cool sets.

The hotel was super cool. We stayed in a Kingdom themed room. It had a separate nook with bunk bends and a TV for the kids, and a King-sized bed & TV for the adults. It came with a bin full of mostly Duplo & some LEGO to play with. It also had a treasure-hunt the first day to get (3) LEGO poly bag sets. We got them the 2nd night too, but not the 3rd. 🤷

I think we watched ALL of the LEGO movies in the room. That was neat.

The lobby has a giant castle that looks like LEGO, a treasure-trove of Duplo & Lego blocks, a climbing wall that isn’t a climbing wall, an area with large LEGO bricks made out of some material that feels like Crocs. There are so many photo opportunities throughout the hotel and park, it’s crazy.

This is ¾ of us sitting on the wall that you're not supposed to climb on.
“We’re loners Dottie, rebels!”

Yeah. 4,672 kids climbed on this wall. Employees would all politely tell them to get off, and the parent / grandparent / aunt / uncle /random stranger would undoubtedly always exclaim “But, it looks like a climbing wall!” There is a sign to the left that says not to climb… but really, it LOOKS like a climbing wall. I suggest the shore it up so it’s safe to climb, or put stuff on the shelves so they don’t look like seats. Or maybe get a bigger more centralized “No Climbing” sign.

The restaurants in the park & at the hotel were interesting. They were crazy expensive, which we had gleaned from the groups, and kind of just expected anyway. The food was eh. I did not like their “fry sauce” on the burger. Breakfast was free with the stay and was a nice tray with scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, French toast sticks, sausage, tator tots or home fries, fresh fruit, and the option of coffee, juice, milk, or water to drink. Pop or iced tea was an up charge.

RIDE THE DRAGON!  🐉🤘
🐉

The rides and attractions are definitely geared to pre-teen kids, but were fun for the whole family. The Dragon was my son’s first roller coaster ride. The indoor rides were fun, and of course they drop you in the gift shops. We kept telling my son that the same stuff would be in the big store. We were wrong. Some stuff was different. No build a minifigure in the big store.

We did not do the water park… It’s convoluted as you have to reserve time in 20 minute increments and it seems like a wild pain in the keister. We thought about doing the pool at the hotel after the park, but we decided to chill the first day and it was raining the second day. The pirate themed rides were perfect for us.

I almost bought the park-exclusive Legoland New York set, and would have for $75, but I didn’t feel like it was worth the $100 asking price. Maybe next time? We did get the photo package for one day, and they kids’ LEGOLAND drivers license photos. I did buy two little New York City themed sets.

OH NO!

The thing that made me laugh the most was our toilet project.

My son was having fun playing with the blocks and all the other kids in the hotel lobby. He became somewhat of a warmonger or arms dealer. Kids were coming up to him like he was Peter Dinklage in that Thor Movie where he forged Stormbreaker, or Tony Stark supplying all sides with arms. He was making Duplo and LEGO swords, guns, and who knows what else for any kid that would ask. He was having an absolute blast. I built Godzilla and a city to smash to pass some time. I also built a Duplo rubber duck and we attached to it a Ninjago figure’s head.

Then my daughter and I got silly. She built a pile of poop out of brown LEGO bricks. I told her to get me a bunch of white Duplo blocks, and made a toilet. At first, we just sat her stuffed LEGO guy in a chicken costume minifig on it. Then, we put it on the tray beside a salad that a LEGO waitress minifig sculpture was carrying. It was hilarious to see kids & adults discover it.

Sophisticated art.  Finely schooled LEGO and Duplo artists add to an existing art installation, to make several high-brown political and societal statements.

OR

A Duplo toilet featuring a LEGO poop put on a serving tray next to a salad on a minifigure LEGO sculpture.
I’m easily amused. I don’t know what her deal is.

All-in-all, we had a great time. I think you will too if you’re into LEGO and your kids are the right age. Check out the last of my pics if you didn’t already see them on Instagram, or skip down to my helpful tips!

My LEGOLAND New York tips:

  • I would suggest getting the app. It was helpful with menus, maps, reservations, etc.
    • You scan a barcode for the menus as the hotel restaurants.
    • You can use the app to order at some food establishments in the park.
    • You need reservations for the $20 cafeteria burger meals at the Bricks Family restaurant.
  • Don’t climb the wall that looks like a climbing wall, or do it quick before they yell at you.
  • Get the burger with the fry sauce on the side.
  • The BBQ place was good!
  • The crappy unwanted minifigures your kid brings to trade are the same ones that every other kid brings to trade, and what the employees have on their carts or badges to offer for trade.
  • BRING CASH. 💵 Even though the Legoland NY FB tips & tricks group that unceremoniously booted me implores you to leave all cash at home… You want to tip, right? If you want to leave a tip for breakfast where you don’t get any add-ons, for the room service, or the hotel cleaning staff, you need cash.
    • There is not even an ATM on site, I asked the front desk.
    • Don’t try to use cash anywhere else there, which is actually fantastic.
    • We had the kids save up their own money for vacation, then put it on VISA gift cards before we went. They purchased what they wanted at their own discretion. We bought them one clothing or stuffed animal item each.
  • Kids’ meals come with a juice pouch in the cute little lunch bag… but it doesn’t advertise that anywhere… so, we bought 2 extra drinks for $10 the first lunch. 🤦‍♂️
  • Pack a bag with water, snacks, or even lunch.
  • The build-you-own minifigure part selection was grim in the hotel store.
  • Get you some LEGO themed shirts.
  • The Elevator Dance Parties are a blast at the hotel.
Shock 'n' Roll is NOT to be confused with the shocker.  🤘
🤘

If you have been there, please share your tips & tricks in the comments! If you have not, ask some questions and I’ll try to answer!

The story of the Dewey Decibel FlipOut guitar.


Bert - a.k.a. ERiC AiXeLsyD - rocking the Dewey Decibel FlipOut Lit Cigarette model.
Bert – a.k.a. ERiC AiXeLsyD – rocking the Dewey Decibel FlipOut Lit Cigarette model.

OK. So, you probably know I like weird guitars. Someday I will have profiles up of all of them on another blog. You may have even read about my Dewey Decibel FlipOut before, or have seen the FlipOut before (or even the knock-off Flipped brand). While the Galveston BB Stone certainly started my weird guitar obsession, the FlipOut solidified it. Sadly, I came to it after AiXeLsyD had been done for a while, and I think even after Gasoline Dion. It some incredibly small and ancient circles I will always be known as ERiC AiXeLsyD. I did, get to gig out with the FlipOut, quite a lot, with Ernie and the Berts.

A while back, I had the opportunity to reach out to Jimmie Bruhn about the Indy Custom Flycaster, and way way back I did some research on the BB Stone. (I have to try to recover all the stuff that used to live on SquareGuitar.com, all those links are now dead.)

I thought it would be fun to try and track down Dewey Decibel (a.k.a. Joe Jerardi – or is it Joe Geradri? Stage names are fun.), and get some insight on the inception and production of one of my favorite axes!

After some emails exchanged, here’s the story from the man himself!

Line of FlipOut guitars & BottomOut basses from the Dewey Decibel website.

Hi Eric,

I’m awfully sorry there was a delay on getting back to you.  I honestly have had my hands full this year, and it slipped my mind.  Just for your patience, I can offer the most information I’ve shared about my FlipOut days to this point.  And thanks for asking.

I was performing solo in NY back in the 90s, playing CBGBs and many of the NY clubs. My stage name was Dewey Decibel, and I always performed hooked up to an IV pole.  Just a thing I did – never mentioned it on stage.  Played electric guitar, with synth sequencers for backing, plus voice. 

One day I thought of this backward guitar – Its just wood I thought – so it would play the same, just super unsettling, and deeply rock and roll to my mind.  I found one shop out of all the NY guitar techs who would follow my instruction. It was Rick from Carmine Street Guitars.  I love him because he didn’t even blink, just said “sure, I can do that”.  I went on to form a band called… Dewey Decibel, and kept doing shows, and finished up my third album “Unnecessarily Beautiful” with those guys, great players Jon Howard, and Martin Miller.  We did good work.  I always played the original FlipOut, which started its life as a Fernandes brand Strat.  I always had the IV drip by my side.

Back cover for the Dewey Decibel album Unnecessarily Beautiful | Original FlipOut prototype of a modified Fernandes Strat copy pictured!
Back cover for the Dewey Decibel album Unnecessarily Beautiful | Original FlipOut prototype of a modified Fernandes Strat copy pictured!

We did no real promotion for the album, for any of my albums, so they reside in resplendent obscurity, rarely to surface.

Here is what exists online, though there are 3+ albums and an EP somewhere:

https://deweydecibel.bandcamp.com/

Dewey Decibel | Unnecessarily Beautiful | Pictured: Martin Miller (Drums) ● Dewey Decibel (Guitar & Vocals) ● John Howard (Bass)
Dewey Decibel | Unnecessarily Beautiful | Pictured: Martin Miller (Drums) ● Dewey Decibel (Voice/Guitar/Keys) ● John Howard (Bass)

At shows, my guitar got so much crazy attention I conceived of the nutty plan to use a release of these guitars to bring attention to my band.  In 2003 I went to the NAMM show on the recommendation of a friend, to look for a manufacturer.  There I approached many confused factory reps from Asia, and ended up having luck with a Korean group who were ready to please.  I ordered some prototypes during that year, and tweaked things.  Then at 2004 NAMM I introduced them to the unsuspecting earthlings, took orders, and started shipping out of San Francisco once the container ship arrived.  That first NAMM show was funny funny stupid funny. 

Dewey Decibel - FlipOut & BottomOut
Art from the Dewey Decibel website.

The stupid part was that Fender lawyers sent me a letter on the opening day of my NAMM  launch that I was in breach of their trademarks.  This is a much longer story but I ended up licensing with Fender later, which was great for name dropping and demonstrating to folks that it was a quality guitar.

I was living in a warehouse with boxes of these guitars and my drum set.  It was a time of odd existence, taking orders, shipping, doing R&D, and lining up reviews with the big guitar magazines.  The FlipOut got strong thumbs up reviews in Guitar Player as well as Guitar One.  I did care about the feel of the neck and the pickups.  It’s self evident I think when you handle one.

I was moving forward on the BottomOut bass, having received a few prototypes which worked nicely.  Even took orders.  The problem was that the whole business had me working in too many directions, and exhausted.  I’d gone to Europe, and did a bunch of sales, there and in Australia too.  I was overworking, and getting wiped out.  This was all on my own, and I’d been living with some fantasy that these cool guitars would elevate the music, and demonstrate my sovereign rock and roll whimsy.   But alas, the FlipOut project ended at around 500 guitars because I was exhausted, the R&D was too slow, and I couldn’t parlay the thing into working for another manufacturer.  I was too much of a lone wolf for them.  So I went back to graphic design and animation.  I’m an animator today living in incredible San Antonio. I also continue writing and recording a new album, to be released secretly into thrift store bins.

The guitar colors were just my favorites at the time, the names were inspired by memories. Barry Leventhal was I think a kid I played in little league with.  Austin really had cabs colored like the guitar.

I’ve seen the FlipOut rip-offs coming from Europe/China, and they look ridiculous, all backward and stuff.  Just joking – I guess it was inevitable someone would cash in.

Hey thanks for your interest.  Hoping it fills in some detail. 

Thanks

joe

For the Raging Guitar Houdini in you!

(ddB)™

What led Dewey Decibel, Brooklyn's recording enigma, to do what he did to his guitar that night? Frustration. His friends had snubbed him, his car had been totaled, but worst of all, his reading comprehension was way down, and he could feel the stares when he entered a room. That fateful night, Dewey did grab for his guitar, slamming his bedroom door, not to emerge for countless weeks (though he did leave once to go to a class on "Appalachian Fingertip Dancing"). It was during these weeks, through a period of painstaking research, made even more difficult by an ill-fitting lab coat, Dewey did travel to the edge of insanity. But once there, decided he'd rather be at the brink of madness, so he quickly switched when no one was looking. And when at last he did emerge, witnesses reported he held in his hand something resembling a guitar on muscle relaxant. Dewey Decibel's FlipOut™ was in their midst. And now, it is in yours.

www.flipoutguitar.com Write to us at flipout@deweydecibel.com

The guitar design configuration of Dewey Decbel's Flip Out™ is a trademark owned by Joe Gerardi of Dewey Decibel Inc. Any replication of this trademark is prohibited by law.

Dewey Decibel
Until now, this is pretty much all that was out there on the FlipOut!
Dewy Decibel FlipOut models | Invisible, Lit Cigarette, Barry Levelthal, Austin City Cab, Scandalicious, Shameless.
FlipOut models & colors

How cool is that? The entire story from the man himself! I urge you to go check out the music of Dewey Decibel.

The only mods I had done to mine is the inimitable Aaron Hutzel drop in some GFS Lil Killer rails. This was not a kock at all to the original sound, but the humbuckers are more my thing.

Check out the Facebook fan page if you’re a fan, would like to share photos of yours or you with it in action, have one for sale, or are looking for one: Facebook | Dewey Decibel FlipOut

I would also, of course, love to hear from you in the comments!

If you want to see me and my FlipOut in action, check out the stuff below this list of links.

Also, check out these links if you’re looking for more:

Ernie and the Berts “Toybox”:

Ernie and the Berts – “Everybody Poops”:

Ernie and the Berts – “Kate Winslett” (A poor cover of The Silver Brazilians):

Ernie and the Berts – “Ikea”:

Me just rocking this one in the basement in 2016:

So, now what? (Customizing my New York Pro, finally.)


So, this past weekend, I finally got a chance to work on customizing my New York Pro, I thought I’d get a bunch of it done all at one time.  Well, I hit a roadblock or two as I was taking it all apart.  (Of course.)

I already got some great advice via Facebook, but thought I’d try & chronicle everything here.

It doesn't fit...

It doesn’t fit…

Once I got my work bench set up on the basement, taking everything apart was quite easy.  I just took out all the hardware, and when I went to line up the new pickguard, it didn’t fit. It’s really close, but it doesn’t fit.  I’m going to have to file or cut or sand or Dremel or some combination of all of the above.

It's not the same...

It’s not the same…

The holes in the pickguard aren’t going to lineup with the screws, either.  I’m going to have to maybe 2-sided tape it in place to mark all the holes once I get it cut right.  I have no experience taking apart guitars, but it’s odd that the neck doesn’t fit “perfectly” into the body.  There’s a weird gap there.  It’s also easy to tell (now) that the old pickguard has been cut.  There are some other spots where it doesn’t quite line up.  I hope I don’t have to route anything out where the pickups go.  I got them all from the same place, so I hope not.

Also, I thought I was taking the neck plate off… but it wasn’t having it:

That's supposed to come off when you take the screws out...

That’s supposed to come off when you take the screws out…

Help?

Help?

It’s stuck.  I feel like it’s glued on or was put on before the stain dried?  I bought all black hardware, including a neck plate.  Should I try to get this one off, or just let it go?  I even tried to pop it off using  a screwdriver through the 5th larger hole… all to no avail.

Any advice on that one?

If you’re interested in checking out my progress, take a look at the Photobucket album that’s my attempt to chronicle the whole thing.  (Or, sit through this slideshow…)

The Pittsburgh Tunnel Monster gets national attention?


Well, sort of.  The buzz around town on the news & radio lately has been about a survey by a GPS data company called INRIX that calls the sweet spot from Greentree to the Fort Pitt tunnels on the Parkway West here in the ‘Burgh the worst traffic outside of New York or Los Angeles.  Read the Post-Gazette article for all the juicy details.  Here’s an excerpt…

According to INRIX, it takes an average of 13 minutes — nine more than it should — to traverse that stretch. That doesn’t count the time it takes to get there, as morning backups now routinely spill well down the back side of Green Tree Hill and sometimes past Carnegie.

At a delay of nine minutes a day, for a regular commuter that works out to about 36 hours a year down the rat hole, just for the morning rush. According to INRIX, drivers on the 10 worst U.S. corridors may squander up to 60 hours a year stuck in traffic.

Those who while away their mornings in the daily tangle might be inclined to dream of a wider Parkway West or new tunnels drilled through Mount Washington, but financial and topographic realities make that a bit like yearning for world peace.

105.9 WXDX-FM

105.9 WXDX-FM

The guys on the X were talking about it yesterday morning, so I sent Bob a link to my Tunnel Monster blog.  Bob posted it on their morning show blog & I’ve been getting mad hits today because if it.  Ha ha.  Thanks guys!

I do have to say though that the Steely McBeam tunnel monster image isn’t mine.  Someone named Angry Mongo posted it first.

I have one more “artist rendering” from Eric Yano (I’d still like to see more!):

Flying Tunnel Monster

Flying Tunnel Monster (by Eric Yano / Valley of Steel)

And here was the letter to MythBusters & Dirty Jobs, that didn’t get a reply from anyone…

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Feb 27, 2012
Subject: The Pittsburgh Tunnel Monster (Mythbusters & Dirty Jobs team-up?)
To: jamie@m5industries.com, mythbusters@m5industries.com, adam@adamsavage.com, info@mikeroweworks.com, torybelleci@gmail.com, swift@buchwald.com
Cc: info@beyondaction.com.au

Dear Duke of Dirt and Sultans of Science (or Emperors of Explosions?),

I’m a big fan of both of your shows, I believe that I have been watching since the first season of each, and have seen almost all (if not all) of the collective episodes.  My wife & I enjoy the Saturday morning/afternoon marathon runs of each, sometimes they prevent us for doing anything productive (except learning while being entertained of course) for most of the day.  My favorite Dirty Jobs moment has to be an early one… where Mike was at the charcoal factory & asking the guy how you can burn it after it has already been burned and the guy either didn’t know the answer or comprehend the question and started to get irate.  It set the tone for the rest of the series!  Of course I love all the dirty gross stuff like expressing the anal glands during pet grooming… who knew?  Having worked an assembly line myself, I really appreciate that you manage to shed light on jobs that most people never even think about (or know existed).  With Mythbusters, I don’t know how to pick a favorite… I loved the ninja & pirate myths, the ancient mirror laser thing, all of the movie scene recreations (or attempted recreations), the many abuses of Buster, and for some odd reason… the car filled entirely with A/B foam.

If I’m not watching the Discovery Network, I’m over on the History Channel.  My wife likes to remind me that we have about 200 other channels.  I don’t need them, really.

I first attempted this (intentionally humorous) pitch to the people over at history with MonsterQuest or MysteryQuest in my sights.  I had assumed I’d receive some sort of “Yeah, whatever goofball” type of reply.  Sadly I have not received any reply at all.

The more I thought about it, I feel that this is a serious subject.  It would work for Mythbusters… not sure how you could word the myth… but basically your task would be to get to the bottom of seemingly inexplicable tunnel traffic/congestion.  You could look at how people slow down when approaching, how throwing a roadside distraction (like a car accident) in there would effect things?

As for Mr. Rowe, I’m sure that working in a tunnel is a dirty job.  There are nightly cleanings/work in the Liberty tubes some times… and someone sets out traffic cones every day for the changing of a lane’s direction when going into/coming out of the tunnel.  I’m also guessing that being a Mythbuster (or one of their crew) is a dirty job.  Pittsburgh is a little Hollywood lately, why not capitalize on it by coming to check out our little town?  I know Grant & Tori were at the Zabmelli firework factory in New Castle once!

Did you see the incredibly forced Pawn Stars/American Pickers/American Restoration crossover?  You guys could do way better than that, and it would be unscripted.

Here’s the meat of my original email…

I believe that we have a monster in the Pittsburgh area that you may want to check out.  It’s affectionately referred to as the Tunnel Monster.  People in the southwestern Pennsylvania area live in a great fear of the Tunnel Monster.  Many yinzer drivers slow down as they approach any area tunnel… but most especially the Fort Pitt Tunnels, Liberty “Tubes”, and the Squirrel Hill Tunnels.  I’ve heard theories that the tunnel monster also perhaps takes shelter in one or all of the three rivers when not lurking in the tunnel.

Fear seems to increase in times of rain, snow, and (perhaps strangely) before sporting events, holiday festivities, and large concerts.  I believe we have weekday tunnel anxiety between 7:00am & 9:00am, and again from 2:00pm to 7:00pm at all tunnels.  I’ve never heard a first-hand account of an actual sighting, but it’s clear that there is something strange happening at these locations.  There are also spikes of Tunnel Monster fear when traffic accidents happen nearby.  Perhaps the tunnel monster feeds on broken down cars, flat tires, or the corpses left in the wake of fatal accidents?  Rubberneckers seem to be ripe for the picking also.

I have personally seen 18-wheelers get to the entrance of a tunnel and turn completely around, most likely out of fear of the tunnel monster perhaps lurking within the yellow-hued florescent-lit man made caverns.  Some people go through the entire length of a tunnel holding their breath so the tunnel monster doesn’t steal it, or honking their horn the entire way to scare it off.  I’ve seen motorcycles and ambulances go right down the center line at accelerated speeds, no doubt trying to avoid a tragic end.  I’ve even heard of people tapping the roof of their car when spotting a Padiddle to ward off the evil tunnel monster.  The theory perhaps being that the tunnel monster is on the hood of the other car, and its webbed fin (a paddle or “padiddle”) is blocking one headlight.

I have seen strange markings on the inside of they Liberty Tunnels, but they have since been covered-over.  They were strange numbers and hieroglyphic-like symbols that appeared right before a construction project.  Do you think the crews working in the tunnel are in any danger?  Perhaps it’s a conspiracy?  Are they in there hunting for the tunnel monster under the guise of construction efforts while they cover up the monster’s cave paintings?  Could the monster be some sort of Neanderthal, or perhaps a supernatural being, or some sort of demon?

There are countless videos on YouTube documenting fearless drives through the Fort Pitt Tunnels, but I don’t believe that any concrete video evidence has been recorded.  I have attached some artist renderings of the Tunnel Monster that I have found on the internet.  Perhaps you would like your experts to interview the area residents and come up with your own?

I really would like someone to get to the bottom of this Tunnel Monster thing, and I believe that Monster Quest is perfectly suited for the job!  Thank you for your time, I hope to hear from you soon!

So, now you know where my thought process has gone, & how it has developed.  I’d love your consideration for this idea.  Please don’t make me turn to TV shows that I don’t watch like Billy the Exterminator or Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Thank you for your time, I look forward to hearing from you!

Not afraid of the Tunnel Monster,
-Waldo Lunar

I tried message boards, email addresses, all kinds of outlets… all to no avail.  Party poopers.

Maybe this will get a reply:

Should I try PennDOT or the city of Pittburgh next?

Fort Pitt Tunnel

The Monster’s Lair | Fort Pitt Tunnel (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I assure you, I am not McDonald’s.


McJokerIt’s happening again.  I still say it’s a fail of smart phones & tablet PC‘s in their navigation of the internet.  At least I hope that’s the problem.  It could just be that some people are really not that bright. Maybe it’s a reading comprehension problem.  They see a post about McDonald’s & complaints and they hit “contact” thinking they’re somehow contacting McDonald’s, blissfully unaware that the url in the address bar is https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/ and has nothing to do with McDonald’s.  I’m guessing that this is thanks to Google sending everyone who searches “McDonald’s” & “email” or “complaint” to me.  Maybe the magic words are “McDonald’s” & “Contact”?

Actually, my incredible WordPress site stats show me most of the search terms that people used to land on my blog today.  The culprits are most likely…

  • mcdonalds.customercare@us.mcd.com (3 searches)
  • ella.jones@us.mcd.com (1 search)
  • mcdonalds food tv advertisement (1 search)
  • mcdonalds hand washing procedures (2 searches)

As you’re reading this, can you say it with me?  Seriously, out loud.  Ignore the people around you as they look at you like you’re crazy.  Take a deep breath.  Say it with me:

Eric Carroll (a.k.a. ERiC AiXeLsyD, a.k.a. Waldo Lunar, a.k.a. Bronco Jalapeño) is not McDonald’s.  He does not work for McDonald’s.  Emails sent through the contact form at aixelsyd13.wordpress.com will not reach McDonald’s.  If I contact World (and Lunar) Domination inexplicably thinking that it is somehow related to McDonald’s (or Kmart), I will be publicly ridiculed on the internet.

I may have to put that on my contact page.  I’m guessing you won’t read it anyway if you’re crazy enough to send me an email without really reading anything else on my page.

If the stuff was coming right to my email address, I could almost understand it.  But, this is being typed into (or cut & pasted into) the contact form at my site… which looks like nothing related to anything on any McDonald’s website.  This most recent one is different in that this McDonald’s is apparently delinquent on a payment to a company that cleaned out their most likely disgusting dirty fryer.  This is much more serious than a simple screwed-up order or ignorant employee.  I’ll share it with you…

From: Jane Farrell <janef@malachymechanical.com>
To: █████████████@█████.com
Sent: Wednesday, May 2, 2012 3:08 PM
Subject: W(aL)D Feedback

Name: Jane Farrell
Email: janef@malachymechanical.com
Message / Comment: I sent you a message about Mcdonalds#14518 located at 1101 East Tremont Ave. in the Bronx, N.Y.  We went there to repair their frymaster fryer and they refuse to pay us. You sent me a email on 4/4/12 Ref#8770056 that you would send my letter to the regional office in my area. I haven’t been paid as of yet. I would appreciate it, if you could let me know if the store was contacted. Thank You so much, I do appreciate any help in getting this paid.

Jane Farrell, Malachy Mechanical
How’d you find my blog?:

Time: Wednesday May 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm
IP Address: ##.###.###.##
Contact Form URL: https://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/contact/
Sent by an unverified visitor to your site.

Insanity.  I had to write back, didn’t I?  Yes.  Yes, I did.  I even decided to offer some help to Jane in perhaps contacting the right person or people on the matter.

From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com>
To: janef@malachymechanical.com
Cc: McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com; info@mcdonalds.com; ny.14518@us.stores.mcd.com; mcd.14518@us.stores.mcd.com
Sent: Thursday, May 3, 2012
Subject:
Re: W(aL)D Feedback [Sorry, I’m not McDonald’s.]

Hello Jane,

Unfortunately you’re mistaken, as you did not contact me earlier.  I am not McDonald’s.  I have simply blogged about McDonald’s & my interactions (or attempted interactions) with them.  For some odd reason, people keep landing on my website and contacting me, thinking that I am McDonald’s.  I assure you, I am not McDonald’s.  I don’t work for McDonald’s.  I don’t represent McDonald’s.  I can’t speak for McDonald’s.  I certainly can’t pay their bills.  I do sympathize with you though, as McDonald’s apparent ineptitude knows no bounds.  I am a blogger who makes light of their insanity with my own.  If you would like to follow my journey, please see the following blog posts.  They will help to prove & reinforce that I am not McDonald’s, and perhaps bring to light your own error in using my contact form instead of reaching out again to McDonald’s.

  • I AM NOT McDONALD’S – Like you, Harmony, Shirley, Amber, & Jeffrey mistook me for McDonald’s.  This post also links to my earlier correspondence with McDonald’s in case you are interested, as well as valid alternatives to actually contact McDonald’s instead of me, because I am not McDonald’s.
  • I’m still not McDonald’s. – I inform Harmony, Shirley, and Amber that I’m not McDonald’s.  Harmony remains unconvinced.  I unintentionally angered local McManager, Scott Kausky.
  • OK, maybe I am McDonald’s? – Harmony’s husband steps in to assure me that I am indeed McDonald’s, even though though I am clearly not.  Mr. Kausky calms down.  I create some graphics proving that I am indeed not McDonald’s, & I share a McAdventure.
  • s,pןɐuopɔɯ ʇou ɯɐ ı – Really.  I laid it all out one last time for Harmony & her McHusband.  They never responded after this.  Perhaps they finally got the message?  I disclose more McDonald’s contact options, as I am not McDonald’s and contacting me does nothing but further amusement for myself & my readers.
  • McConsistency is Key. – Apparently despite all the other blog posts, I’m still the place to go to complain about McDonald’s.

A bonus post, somewhat related:

A super-special extra bonus post:

  • I’m not Kmart. – While I’m not McDonald’s, I’m also not Kmart.  Perhaps McDonald’s customers & Kmart shoppers are the same demographic?

Perhaps you’re not interested in my blogs, but in exchange for you taking the time to read them I am prepared to help you in your plight for payment.  I have researched several ways for you to contact McDonald’s, none of which are the contact form located at my website.  Let us go through them together:

I hope that I have been able to provide some clarity, amusement, and even some actual help today (even though I am not McDonald’s).  Good luck in your quest, this is most certainly more annoying than the usual lack of ketchup packets or pattyless burger!  Have a nice day.

I am not McDonald’s,
-Eric Aixelsyd
World (and Lunar) Domination

Do you think she’ll write back?

Frymaster Fryer

Frymaster Fryer

Blurt | That Was Wrong, But Why Was She Eating At Papa John’s?


A great blog post about poor decisions regarding racism & pizza, from a great blogger:

Papa Wrong's

Papa Wrong's

Voices Against Brain Cancer


Voices Against Brain Cancer

Voices Against Brain Cancer

Jesse Laz from the band Locksley is participating in a walk to fight Brain Cancer.  I think it should be obvious to Ernie and the Berts friends & fans that it’s an issue close to our hearts.  I urge you to support Jesse for this walk.  Do it for Jesse’s friends and family, and do it for our friend & fearless leader, Erin “Ernie” Payne.

Erin was the only person more vocal than me when I was raising money for the food allergy walk, & even put his money where is mouth was, as well as providing special edition T-shirts.

Jesse is trying to reach $17,000 in 17 days.  It’s a lofty goal, and every donation counts.  He’ll press a special vinyl if & only if the goal is met.  So please, donate if you can, or at least share the link like mad.

Your attendance is required.


Sun. 08/14 @ The Fallout Shelter:

Ernie and the Berts
Hopeless Otis
The Awful Waffles

$5 / 21+ / 9:00pm

Click the link for details & links to the venue & other bands.

Sun.08/14 @ The Fallout Shelter - Ernie and the Berts/Hopeless Otis/The Awful Waffles - $5/21+/9:00pm Beat the heat, not your meat!  Hang out in the cool relaxing not-humid soothing basement of Sheffield Lanes… a little place we like to call the Fallout Shelter.  Well, they called it that, so that’s why we call it that.  We didn’t name it.  Although, it is a pretty good name.  For some reason, they like us there, and keep letting us come back.  Randy just may be a little insane.  That’s OK, I think we are too.  At any rate, they have good drink … Read More

via Ernie and the Berts